Disclaimer: Shit, I don't own Harry Potter…stop making me write this.
This is Harry's nonsense dribble about himself. He sounds like an idiot which kind of reflects how I'm feeling…to sum it up, I feel like shit…so Harry sounds like shit.
Dedicated to Alana (LAMAPIE) cause she is as fucked up as I am.
Welcome to the diary of a maniac.
I have recently decided that I am, indeed, a severe maniac. I spend my days plotting how to kill a man who looks interestingly like a snake and being pissed off with – well with everything now I think about it. Some would say I'm dark and fascinating where as my friends call me stupid. Isn't it how ironic how the closest people to you don't try and actually help you, they like to guide you along that path of destruction.
That basically sums up my life. People are practically waving at me to kill…sometimes I wonder if I'm going to hell. Wouldn't it be just a kick in the arse if I died and went to hell for saving the whole bloody wizardry community but everyone that was telling me to do it went straight up to the pearly gates? Good thing I'll be in a place where there is no shortage of lawyers. "Hello Satan, I'm so pissed off," would be my first words. Then "Hitler, get your arse off my suit and get me a lawyer!" would be my second. Having a very tragic and mournful life can create one fucked up person.
This is the point of the diary where I write a sappy poem about how I hate my life and how I wish Ginny were here to comfort me. But I have now decided to quit Ginny and quit writing things everyone expects me to write. I'm a maniac, don't people understand that? I'm not good at school, I'm shit at killing people and I don't even have the guts to kick Snape in the arse. What kind of hero am I?
I've have decided to quit smoking, stop the constant (but harmless) cheap sex, quit the drugs and swear to actually do something of purpose in my life. Please, if I didn't do these things then why am I so high that I never actually get anything done? I've had so many chances to actually kill the people I hate but for some funny (and absolutely shitting reason) I am overcome by something sad and passionate that I can't. I am such a sap. Obviously our world is going to die because I'm not that good of a hero. Good thing that people don't blame me because of my past. Being screwed up has its advantages.
Think about it. Hey wait? What the hell are you doing reading my diary? FUCK OFF!
Dribble. This is basically how I feel about Harry because for some reason it seems to happen in the book. It may just be the panadol talking but my doctors are yet to confirm. They are also yet to confirm why the bloody guys in white coats are after me. I had to dig myself a hole in the ground to get away…shit…you didn't hear that.