Trials and Tribulations

Chapter 5: Of Nightmares and Dreams Come True

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy X, nor any of the characters there within.

Lulu could feel her chest tighten in remorse as she felt Wakka's sad eyes follow her until she pressed into the dark, reaching arms of the undergrowth of the surrounding forest. It took a certain amount of deliberation to perish the rising guilt in her heart. She knew exactly how it felt. She had followed Chappu's withdraw from Besaid with the same desolate eyes. Lulu knew the former blitzball captain only wanted to forgive and forget, but she was not quite ready to forgive herself for her raucous actions just yet. She needed time in solitude.

Her mind buzzed as she walked in a slow, lazy semi-circle around the camp. The warm glow of a freshly built fire danced invitingly on the trees from the center of the camp. But she was not yet ready to return. Instead, she steadily widened the arc, like some great scavenging fiend that soared the skies. It was not until the camp became a dim light in the trees, that Lulu felt release from any lingering gazes.

Only moonlight lit her vague, undetermined path now. With a wary eye out for any prowling fiends, Lulu tried again to call forth the elusive thoughts of a shimmering, uncertain memory; of dreams transformed into nightmares.

An image of Chappu running from her on a rocky shelf, blazed across her mind's eye, but as quickly as the apparition had appeared, it winked out of existence. She willed vainly to summon up the image again, knowing that it would unlock the mystery to her behavior, but the visions would not come.

With a huff of aggravation, Lulu quickened her pace and changed direction to circle the camp, alert to any snapping twig or rustling bush that could produce a fiend. She would not mind discharging her frustrations at the next creature that challenged her. That unlucky beast would suffer her wrath.

Lulu shut her eyes and stopped in her stride.

No. No, this frenzy of fury had to end. This unbridled anger was wheedling away her barriers of restraint. It was as though years of sorrow and rage had surfaced and taken hold of her these past few days; years of wanting to lash out at a cruel world of injustice.

The words of her black magic mentor came to her:

Do not let the elements you wield control you.

"I am my own master." Lulu replied softly in reflex to the memory. The tension she did not realize she had, depleted, leaving her to feel empty inside. Had she really let those dangerously unstable emotions fuel her these many years? Now all she felt was exhaustion. She closed her eyes briefly, quietly exhaling her voided center when a sudden variation in the breeze caused her eyes to snap back open.

There in the trees, a patch of dark red.

Lulu moved toward it, promising this creature the surprise of its life; a spell hovered on her lips. As she grew closer, her eyes began to pick out small details in the darkness; a flash of something metallic, more of the red…

Lulu stopped abruptly in her advance as she came upon the clearing; the spell disappearing from her lips as she came upon her intended target.

"Sir Auron." Lulu spoke in mild surprise.

"Lulu." He acknowledged her without turning.

Time stretched as the two stood in silence.

"That was quite a…performance today."

Lulu felt color rise on her face. She could sometimes not help but feel chastised by this man. She felt compelled to once again voice her apologies, but she did not speak. She moved a few steps parallel to the guardian.

"Not too far, there is a steep incline down that side." Auron continued, still without turning to face her. Lulu halted mid-step at this warning and saw in the light of the waxing moon, that there was in fact a long drop just beyond; the trees seemed to shrink in height as they ran down the hill.

Again the silence stretched, until Auron spoke.

"I remember, on my journey with Jecht and Braska, there was an incident with a blitzball. It was a time when the three of us had only just started out and Jecht thought I was being too serious. So, he took up his blitzball and kicked it right at my head." Auron rumbled in his throat, which caught Lulu by surprise. Was he laughing? "I was so furious, that I picked up the ball and threw it back at him. He had been too busy laughing at his own joke, that he did not see me return the ball." Another rumble. "It hit him in the face." Auron turned to face an astonished Lulu. "However, he thought it was even more hilarious that he had extracted some emotion from me, other than my usual sedate, grimness. My perspective of him changed that day."

Lulu stared at the man in shocked silence. This was the most she had heard him speak in the entirety of the pilgrimage, and of something so personal, no less. Auron turned partway so that she could see his profile; his sunglasses unable to hide his eyes from this vantage point, so that Lulu saw one chestnut eye focused on her.

"I had learned not to be so 'depressing', as Jecht put it, after that. And Jecht learned not to attack companions without warning."

The short story seemed finished and Auron lapsed back into his usual silence, allowing Lulu to reach the intellectual pedestal he rested upon, herself. But the black mage seemed all too inclined to continue to stare, where had that story come from and why had he shared it with her?

"Perhaps you will have your own stories to tell." Lulu could hear Auron's smile. She sighed in remorse, at last breaking her gaze from his to examine the ground.

"I fear I will have too many stories to tell."

Auron rumbled again.

"You have added to my repertoire."

Lulu could feel her cheeks heat at that statement.

"I am…sorry." She managed to speak.

"I have already forgiven you."

Lulu looked up at him, startled. Auron suddenly seemed tired.

"Life, it is much too short to hold grudges, to bear hate. There is too much of that in the world as it is. I would have hoped by now, you would have forgiven yourself."

He turned fully to face her, his eyes shielded once again from her gaze, though she already knew he studied her. She averted her eyes guiltily.

"You have not." It was not spoken as a question. "Healing begins with the self. Only then will you be able to move on. Time waits for no one."

"I have realized that." Lulu said in agreement.

There was a pause.

"He's worried about you."

Lulu blinked, watching Auron in a reigned, morose way, already knowing of whom he spoke.

"And he has been mulling it over in his mind for many days now. It's been keeping him awake. He'll take over sentry duty before it is his turn and stay up for several hours after. I might go so far as to say, he shares some of your…distraction, these days."

The guilt Lulu had suppressed for a few blissful moments now returned with double the force. She turned her back to the red-cloaked guardian; her arms loose at her sides, though her hands had curled into fists.

"I am…I am simply not ready to forgive him yet." Lulu said lowly. "There are times he just infuriates me; acting the fool, slipping and tripping, making silly mistakes that could get him hurt." Lulu trailed off, seeing so many ways Wakka could irritate her and not able to voice them all. Heavy footsteps approached her.

"You worry about him." Auron rested a gloved hand on Lulu's bare shoulder. She could feel the warmth of the hand hidden within. The conclusion he made seemed to resurface something in Lulu's mind, something she had always known but never put in words. It had only been presented as a hot feeling and she channeled the stress into her power. She had wanted to protect them all because enough had been taken from her, from them, already. She stared at nothing at this new revelation.

"I worry about you."

She turned to look back up at Auron, he was so close to her now, perhaps the closest they had ever been together, she could pick out the finer details of his face. The individual graying hairs on his crown, the ragged tissue of the scar that ran down his face, the stubble that rose to meet his sideburns; he looked as though he had endured a great deal of life. They gazed at one another for a moment before Auron continued in a soft, gruff voice.

"Tidus had been a considerable concern of mine for the better part of the pilgrimage, but lately, that concern has been in conflict. He has himself a lady summoner to keep him in line, and a growing affection for her." Lulu nodded, she had noted this development as well. "While he seems to grow more attached, you seem to be distancing yourself." He paused to let that sink in. "Perhaps you could take a leaf from Yuna's book and let affection dictate your actions."

Lulu gave a small, rueful smile.

"Would that be an appeal to live and love, Auron?"

The rumble came again.

"Perhaps. Once the right suitor has come."

Lulu felt a crushing weight settle on her heart. She turned her head so he could only see her profile, hidden behind a curtain of raven hair.

"He has already come and gone."

An extended pause followed this cheerless statement. A rough glove cupped the far side of Lulu's face, gently turning her head to look up him once again.

"Do not abandon hope. Though we struggle to gain progress in this nearly intolerable world filled with pain and suffering, where it is a hardship to carry on; we manage to endure. But we do not live for ourselves, we live for others. We as guardians, live for one another, lending strength and protection throughout the journey. You chose to journey with Yuna, because you chose to honor a sacred bond. It is love. Do not despair over past loves, while another has been patiently waiting to catch your eye."

The mage could feel the change in the air, electrically charged. Her eyes were beginning to sting with the all too familiar tears at the assurance in his voice and an emotion she could not describe. Hope had become a graying sky in her heart, but his sincerity lent sunshine to this desolate, forsaken world. She wanted to ask how he could be so certain, when a horrible crashing rent the silence of the forest; much too loud for a single person. Auron's hand dropped from her face, reaching instead for his katana, searching the trees for the noise. There. Something big was hurtling toward them. The two guardians exchanged glances. A fiend? A dark shape lumbered through the trees, not bothering to use stealth, for it was already nearly upon them.

The creature barreled into the small clearing, felling two trees in its wake. It held a sort of ugly, fierce beauty, of the kind that attracted and repelled at once. The stout beast was half the height of the trees around them and just as long with that tapering tail. It was entirely black, save for the white-tufted ears and tail, its eyes seemed alight with fire and it snapped a savage beak, clawing at the ground with massive talons with four muscular legs. It gave a horrible roaring dual screech that grated on the guardians ears before launching forward, aiming for Lulu. The guardians split into opposite directions; Auron slashing at the beast as it passed and Lulu, the spell she had intended for a fiend before she discovered Auron, she now hurtled at the creature. The hybrid monster screamed in pain as a sizeable spike of ice rose into its heart; smashing it into the other end of the clearing. It yanked the offending icicle from its chest, shaking off bits of frost, and quickly regrouping, it spun around to attack again. It charged, head low, running first at Auron, only to dodge at the last second; Auron's blade slicing through empty air, running at Lulu. Again the woman dodged and threw another spell, a wind spell, which hit the creature squarely. It rolled backward, scrabbling against the turf to steady itself. It roared louder than before when it came to an angry halt.

The beast seemed to grow fiercely intelligent right before their eyes as it sprang in erratic movements, bounding to odd places—on the ground in one instant, gripping high at a tree the next, easily toppling it but not before diving off, moving all the more faster. It caught the back of Auron's thigh in one terrible talon, ripping at Lulu's spell arm in the next leap. The guardians were struggling to strike the beast, but neither steel nor spell could tack it. Pain and exhaustion was making itself known through both of their bodies as the beast struck at them again and again.

At last, the beast threw its body into Auron's shins, and he went down with a startled grunt, then the beast rolled out of this dive and leaped at Lulu, throwing its entire weight into the attack. Her voice failed her to complete a cast as her breath was knocked out of her lungs and agony rippled in horrific waves through her shoulder. Her back slammed into the hard ground, the crushing weight of the creature above her allowed for no movement. The talons had dug deeper into her exposed flesh. Lulu shrieked in pain as other clawed hand rose to strike a finishing blow to the mage as she could only stare up in stunned, wide-eyed shock.

Without warning, the creature's head snapped to one side in a deafening sound as a blue and white spherical object connected with its skull. It stumbled away with a scream of rage and pain. A streak of yellow and red sprinted past Lulu's blurred vision and she pushed herself onto her side quickly, biting her lip to the screaming pain in her shoulder.

Wakka!

Auron was back on his feet and rushing at the creature after the former blitzball captain. Lulu, not wishing to be outdone, scrambled quickly to her feet, calling her mog back to her with a swift, practiced motion. The doll leapt obediently to her bloodied, reaching arms as the pair of them began to summon the most powerful spell she knew to banish this blasted pest from existence, when she stopped sharply.

Wakka and the beast had reached the far side of the clearing, the side backed to that particularly steep crevice. The redhead had beaten the creature back repeatedly with his ball until the beast caught the annoying device and crushed it in powerful talons. His weapon destroyed, Wakka hurled himself at the beast with a yell of rage and the pair of them went careening over the side.

A horrified cry ripped from Lulu's lips before she could stop herself, the sight triggered an unraveling of the visions that had refused to present themselves now flew before her eyes.

The nightmare had felt so real.

The two Besaid brother's, Wakka and Chappu stood on a shelf of Djose, Lulu between them. They had spoken of promise and happiness of a better time once Sin was destroyed. Suddenly, the sky darkened to an almost black. Chappu had nodded then, telling Wakka to stay beside Lulu no matter what happened and he hurried forward.

"I will make it better!"

"No Chappu, don't go!" Lulu and Wakka had shouted their protests, but Chappu would not listen as he hurried forward toward the edge of the shelf. Sin materialized over the sea, like some horrific, surreal backdrop; jerking its head one way as if in challenge and Chappu rising to meet it. The monster bore down on Chappu—it was much too close!

"No, Sin!" Lulu and Wakka were rushing forward now, desperate to stop the younger redheaded boy; Wakka was faster than Lulu and he tore ahead of her.

The battle had not even truly begun when the gargantuan monster reared its head back in a fluid motion and a gale arose around the red-haired boy, the ground suddenly quaking and breaking beneath his feet. The shelf was going to collapse.

Lulu charged forward as quickly as her legs could carry her, the noise deafening her ears; debris ripping cloth, tearing skin. She needed to reach him!

In rising fear and panic, Chappu rushed back toward his brother, the shelf buckling dangerously beneath the two brothers. The rocks gave way beneath their feet and everything seemed to move horribly slowly. Chappu had leapt, grasping one of Wakka's hands as they shrank in height; they were both falling with the shelf. Wakka was right by the stable edge of the shelf and he grappled at it with his free hand, barely managing to take hold as the shelf fell away completely.

Lulu had come upon them at last, and she launched to her stomach, both hands clutching at Wakka's arm as his hand slipped dangerously from the edge. Unfortunately, the shock from the jerk on Wakka's arm stunted the brothers' hold and Chappu fell free, nothing to stop his decent now. The scream that resonated in Lulu's ears was horrendous; never ending. Tears were streaming from her eyes as she could only watch her lover fall to his death. Wakka's arm slipped further in her grasp, and she turned her head to look at him. He gazed up at her with such fear, such loss, Lulu felt her grief rip through her anew. And just as suddenly, he too, fell from the edge; plummeting with unbearable, gradual acceleration to the same fate as his little brother. His tears seemed to fall upward from his decent as hers fell down to bid him farewell…falling…falling…

Wakka was falling! No, not again, not ever again!

Lulu's mind seemed to fuse shut as adrenaline filled her senses and pumped through her blood as she threw herself over the incline. Trees and rocks appeared in her path, but she managed to shy from them at the last instant, partially running, partially stumbling to the mass below. Pain cleaved through her like a knife from her bloodied shoulder and arm, but she grit her teeth and fleeted ever downward. She tripped dangerously at one point, the heel of her shoe catching on an exposed root, but an iron hand shot out of the darkness and steadied her. She whipped around to see it was Auron who had saved her from a nasty tumble. She nodded once to him with a murmur of thanks and hurried down the last stretch of hill. The creature lay in a broken heap at the base of the incline and Wakka a short distance beyond it. Lulu steeled herself to what she might see, but to her relief, he appeared to be all in one piece with nothing bent or broken.

Lulu fell to her knees beside him, one hand on his chest, the other cupping his cheek.

"Wakka. Wakka!" she patted his face lightly, forcing her voice to stay steady and not quite succeeding. His eyelids fluttered at the action and Lulu felt her breath catch. The former captain groaned in pain and cracked open one brown eye. "Wakka," Lulu choked on a sob of relief. "Are you all right?"

A moment passed in incoherence as Wakka glanced blearily about himself, trying to recall what had just happened. His vision was fogged and unnaturally bright as he looked up at a younger, concerned Lulu. The sun on his face, the sand beneath him; a warm memory. No, that could not be right. Suddenly, the image before him solidified and everything became darker, more drawn. Lulu was older in this image, but her face was still concerned as it was just a moment ago. His eyes climbed the hill, the situation becoming clear to him.

"Oog, I could have used an extra pair of legs coming down that hill," he grinned foolishly. "Good thing that fiend broke my fall, ya?" There was a still, puzzled silence that greeted the statement, then suddenly, Lulu struck his chest with the palms of her hands.

"Idiot! What were you thinking? Don't you ever scare me like that!"

Wakka grimaced in pain, his chest throbbed horribly and not just from Lulu's half-hearted smack. But for her, he managed a lopsided smile.

"Ah, sorry Lu. I jus'…I just wanted to make sure you were safe. That ting came outta nowhere, eh?"

Lulu smiled and shook her head, tears sparkling in her eyes, then speaking so softly Wakka had to strain to hear:

"You did look kind of silly when that fiend popped your ball."

He chuckled, the tender reminiscence still vivid in his memory.

"Ay, that was one expensive blitzball, tell that bugger he owes me another one."

Lulu laughed, a real laugh. A laugh he had not heard in so long that the moment seemed surreal, but it did not matter, this moment was his. He smiled up at her, his eyes sliding to the blackened mess of her shoulder.

"Lu! Lu, he caught you—you're bleeding!"

"Oh that, it's just a cut." Lulu said weakly, the exertion and loss of blood beginning to make itself known. She felt dizzy. Wakka was swimming now in her vision and she lightly shook her head to clear it, but this only seemed to make matters worse.

A great hissing sound dragged Wakka and Lulu's attentions to the broken, bleeding beast that Auron knelt beside. He stepped back from his careful inspection of the creature as it cracked and fizzed, before ultimately exploding into pyreflies. The red-cloaked guardian stood frozen a moment before turning to the pair behind him, apparently reaching some unforeseen conclusion.

"So," Auron came up to them, sheathing his katana, "which of you should I carry?"

Auron had, on Wakka's request, taken up Lulu. She protested but the arguments were swallowed by her being lifted into the air and she did not fight him. Her shoulder was screaming in pain, her vision beginning to blacken at the edges. She bit her lip, forcing herself to stay conscious. Auron's arms were strong, she felt so small in his hold; so protected.

She numbly heard the older guardian ask if Wakka was all right to carry himself. The latter replied that he had a sprained wrist and ankle, but should be able to make the ascent himself. A spine of worry threaded into Lulu's mind, but this was easily eradicated by a sudden jarring movement that sent pain lancing through her once more.

The mage seized at one of his sleeves by his wrist with her less injured arm; purple nails digging in at each miscalculated step. The red-cloaked guardian seemed to note this and chose his footing more carefully, still hurrying up the incline; Wakka struggling to keep up, clutching at one of his sides and muttering curses. Auron shouted encouragement to Wakka, checking back every so often to make sure the redhead had not fallen too far behind, and murmuring words of reassurance to the woman in his arms.

Lulu had shut her eyes by the time the ground had become blissfully flat once more as still they ran through to forest back to camp. Tidus' voice carried out over the air.

"Hey, we heard noise and the fighting—what happened?"

"Lulu!" Yuna had shouted, seeing her friend badly injured.

The black mage did not hear anymore as she finally fell into complete darkness.

Lulu came to beside the fire, for a split second a panic seized her, thinking the great beast was there above her, but she recognized the campfire a moment later.

"Hey guys, she's awake!" Tidus shouted loud enough to wake monsters in neighboring forests. Apparently, he was happy to have her back. There were sounds of shuffling and bodies positioning themselves around her.

"Lulu, are you all right?" Yuna said above her.

"Yes," the mage responded softly, too sore to move unnecessarily. She dimly noted a pillow had placed beneath her head.

"Thank goodness!" Yuna beamed down at her, touching Lulu lightly on her newly mended shoulder. The wound had been cleaned and neatly patched up, nearly healed, thanks to Yuna's concise work.

"What was it that attacked you?" Rikku asked from Lulu's right.

"A mythical creature." Auron grunted from the tree line, walking up to join the group. Everyone looked at him, including Lulu. "That was not a normal fiend, it was something that I believed. until now, to be a fictional beast. I had heard of the stories with Jecht and Braska about monsters that were physical manifestations of pent up and released emotions; usually anger." Auron's head inclined slightly to glance down at the mage. "It was said that the person would feel a release or emptiness after the creature is born, then the beast will seek its creator and try to destroy him. Others that get in the way are generally ignored and on very rare occasions, protect certain people that are special to the creator." Auron's head turned slightly in the former blitzball captain's direction. "But once defeated, the creature will dissolve into nothing and the person who had 'created' it should feel more at peace. How do you feel, Lulu?"

The mage managed a wry smile.

"Hungry."

A chorus of laughter rang in the forest; laughs filled with relief and happiness.

"That makes two of us!" Wakka slapped a thigh with a hand that was not wrapped in bandages, Rikku chorusing in at third and Tidus after.

The group split and went about to work on a late dinner, though Wakka stayed behind. Lulu looked over to him, smiling faintly. He returned the smile.

"Wakka," she reached a hand up to him. He obediently knelt at her side, taking her hand in his. She squeezed his hand and pulled herself to sit up, wrapping him in a startled hug. "I am so glad you are safe." She whispered into his neck, continuing even more softly, "I…I could not bear to lose you too."

Wakka hugged her more tightly.

"I'm here, ya? No worries," he said. "But no more summoning mystical fiends that will come to get you—you got me all scared. Good thing I brought extra pants with me."

Lulu chuckled against him.

"That much I can promise."

No one saw the eldest guardian silently observe the tender scene with a knowing eye, before drifting back into the shadows of the forest once more.

Author's Note: My sincerest of apologies for taking so long to update. I don't have any good excuse...writer's block just hung over this chapter like black clouds and I left it sitting for a good while. But at long last, an update, and most likely an end. This story came out more Wakka and Lulu than Lulu and Auron, though I do have that in there! Gah, I fear I threw Auron horrifically out of character with those long drabbling speeches and heartfelt talks. I just could not, for the life of me, get those down to a few, cynical words, which is more like Auron. I hope that doesn't detract from the story too much...

I am not sure if my explanation for Lulu's wild behavior is not sufficient enough for some, but I'VE certainly had those days...haha! Just got a chimera ready to burst out of my chest those times.

My endings have been horrible lately, don't mind it so much, eh? Unless I get enough inspiration or pokes from people who want to see this continued, I'm finished here.

My mum actually had a dream once where she was holding my brother and I over the side of the building and she couldn't bear both of our weight, so she had to drop one of us. She woke up crying. I suppose that inspired some of the story and how Lulu reacted to the whole situation.

Anywho, I still accept constructive criticism, but don't be too brutal! Haha! I'll happily take reviews!

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