The list of those who hadn't lived up to Terra's expectations was long, but honestly what were the expectations she had expected them to live up to? Devotion? No, she could see that many of them would have dedicated themselves to her in one way or another. Seeking salvation? To be honest to herself, many of them didn't know who she truly was so seeking her as their salvation was a different kind of answer then the one she was looking for. Lust? Passion? Sexual craving? No, they had all displayed their craving for her, they would take on any role to bed her. There was no denying that. She shivered at the lust she had felt with many of her partners. They each had their own moves when it came to dancing to life and while she could adapt to their movements, they never could catch up to her. Were they perfect? The scoff that left her throat was deep and resounded in her chest, no one was this and she was in no position to judge others when it came to the true definition, she was far from the graces of the gods and goddesses. She was complicated and out of her mind, others don't often see that as a good option when it comes to stable partners.

Farkas suddenly shifted, causing Terra to jump and move away. Even with knowing he was there, she had felt like she was alone and this led to her letting her guard down for a moment. He only seemed to have shifted to make himself more comfortable before returning to the mistress of sleep who at the moment held his attention so well he almost seemed to forget to breath.

Terra began to belittle herself for her overreaction of his simple movements. What was she supposed to expect when he was right next to her? If he had been awake he would have laughed so hard he would have doubled over. She turned and glared at him for a moment. The picture of being assaulted by his laughter for her natural reaction of being caught off guard was too much. She sat there pouting for a time, but lost her to herself and smiled softly at the thought of his laughter. She was upset with a scenario that hadn't happened at all and that was something that made her feel sheepish. She blushed gently and reached over to check his cloth, it was warm and dry. She reached over for a new one and discovered she was out.

She was starting to feel herself worrying, it was like a little creature that was creeping in waiting for the moment to grow. She took her amulet of Mara out of her breast pocket. She had hidden it there some time ago. She had felt some shame of wearing the amulet of healing, because she had allowed the holy relic of love and healing to be turned into something that symbolizes her own doubt and pride which in turn hurt someone. She wore it when she needed to, but it had lost all of its true power when she had used it stubbornly. She slipped it into his hand.

"You know what, Terra?" she growled at herself once she had been outside of the tomb, "You overthink everything and while you are thinking everyone around you is still moving." She had worked on getting the clothes buried into the snow to freeze. She was now punching the snow as she spoke each word, "You" punch "are" punch "such" punch "a" punch "idiot!" She was trying to tire herself out to make her brain stop abusing herself.

"You really can't exactly solve this alone, can you?" she wiped her nose, it was now running and her lung stung as she took in every cold breath. "The problem has two people in it and you can't answer for him cause you don't know what he would say or you do, but because he isn't here you would just explain his answers away."

She gathered all the clothes up once they were frozen hard and took them back to the room. Farkas hadn't moved at all. She watched him for a moment to make sure that she hadn't woke him in all stomping, shouting, or all around nonsense.

"Terra…" Farkas whisper was almost too soft to hear, had she not been staring right at him she would have probably missed it. "I'll be hungry for you…"

Terra stared slack jawed for a moment, "What in the night mother's contract did that mean?" Her mind suddenly flashed back to the moment of his hand slipping up her thighs and his tongue tracing her curves. She could feel herself heating up as she pictured it. She coughed a moment and shivered to try and drive those thoughts from her mind.

"He could have been saying he wants to eat food," Terra whispered to herself trying to stop her beating heart. She walked over and replaced the cloth on his head and chest. Finishing up with that she moved to the fire. She was hungry and maybe the smell of food would stir him enough to wake for a little while to eat and then return to sleep.

She worked slowly and carefully losing herself to the sounds of preparing all the ingredients. The chopping of vegetables and cutting of the meat was soothing for her. She enjoyed the way cooking enveloped her mind. She could do this for hours. This simple pleasure was one thing that she hid away, for one, it was dangerous to lose oneself to any objective when they were a thief, assassin, or hunter. Two, well, to be honest with herself it felt like a weakness, woman's work or so some called it. Three, expensive, just the ingredients she had collected could be sold separately for some good coin.

While she wasn't that poor child anymore, there were still times her child self still came out. Flashes of going to the nearest farm and working in the cold in hopes to get enough food for her mother and her, the pain of taking a beating because she wouldn't hand over what little coin she received, or climbing back home in the dead of night because that was when she was finished, let her feeling drained all over again. She could feel the tension in her chest tightening and everything around her felt like it was all moving around made her stop. She took slow breathes and began counting backwards in an attempt to regain some resemblance of reality. She hadn't had that kind of panic attack in a long while.

She looked over at Farkas. He always seemed to draw out the worst in her. He wasn't even awake at this moment and she was now stuck in a weak state. "Even now," she stared at her feet while she whispered, "not even talking to me, you can reveal those dark and depressing moment. You make that poor girl have some kind of hope and that causes my whole world to spin with doubts of everything I made myself believe because that is what I need to survive."

It took awhile for her to regain her composure and she could only tell this because the fire had begun to die down. "Well, that will need to be bigger to cook this meal," she said as she rolled up her sleeves, but stopped as she stared at the empty spot where the firewood should have been. Softly cussing at herself for such an apprentice mistake she took hold of an ax, a warm wrap, a pouch of potions for emergencies, and she headed out to gather firewood.