Chapter 3: Can You Hear Me?

Night is a strange thing. To ninjas, night is comforting with so many shadows and covering darkness. But many dislike night and its abilities to make worries into overwhelming problems. So those people try to distract themselves to sleep. Some problems are so great, of such deep emotional distress that can't be quieted by sleep. Restlessly laying in bed, staring up at the dim crack on the ceiling, Kurogane admitted to himself that there was no sleep for him to find that night.

The mage had disappeared into his room after the scene in the parlor, hiding from the truth as always. He didn't even talk to the kids when they tried to check on him. Too weak to even admit that it was just a small outburst, not that big of a deal, Kurogane thought. How hard is it to just own up to what was in the past?

In the next room, Kurogane heard the princess shift in her bed slightly. Of course, she never slept very well when she felt something wrong – her overly empathetic and kind heart prevented it. No doubt that the kid was worrying too – it was his earnestness that made him so vulnerable to fret. Well, Kurogane never had to worry about being too earnest.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, the warrior itched his head, trying to scratch out the look Fai had slipped him on the way out. He tried to forget those swimming blue eyes so strained and lifeless. Hopelessness, the embodiment of regret, just proving Kurogane's speech… but that response wasn't satisfying. A pool of guilt stirred inside him and every time he remembered the words he said, it grew deeper. He had broken something in Fai, something those eyes were hanging onto.

Come off it, he commanded himself sternly. It wasn't his fault. If Fai had just been honest from the start then he could've started getting over the years of ill treatment… Another sigh blew out of Kurogane. It was entirely his fault, and that mage was crying somewhere because of it. Why had he done it if he had never meant to break that piece of Fai? Kurogane couldn't remember – he had been angry. His temper always ruled what he did, but it had never mattered until now. Only after he had seen what he had killed did it matter, and he regretted it.

With no regard for Fai or his feelings, he had begun lecturing him on something he could only guess at, that was really none of his business, solely on the fact that he felt it needed to be said. He had been selfish and cruel, a monster, all because he was frustrated with Fai. But those blue eyes were shattered now, and Kurogane was too scared to pick up the pieces. …SCARED? Yes, scared that he would somehow break something else important. Fai made him feel awkward and clumsy like that. Like a huge dog in a glass exhibit.

Flipping over onto his stomach, Kurogane stared at the adorned head board. His concentration kept lapsing to those frail eyes flowing with pain… that pain Kurogane had felt only once in his like. It was worse just knowing that he had inflicted such pain on someone else. Knowing just how terrible Fai felt drove the knife of guilt deeper. It wasn't because he disliked Fai that he had ripped the wound open. Very softly, with no one else around to suspect, the ninja admitted that he enjoyed the mage…

The way Fai poked him, pinched him, and jabbed him was endurable, along with those stupid little smiles Fai sneaked him. He didn't chase Fai because he wanted to clobber him, just to carry on the game they had. He enjoyed being teased by the mage. It seemed like he was always running after him, though, and never able to catch the reach the real person, just a fake smile. That mage would never be caught. Ashura-o or whoever the bastard was prevented it with what he did. Alone, he had done so much damage to Fai that it had permanently screwed him up in a way unparalleled by anything Kurogane had every seen. Knowing that, the ninja was left at a loss, halfway between overly protective, and reluctant to get involved. One thing was for sure: the ninja wanted to slaughter Ashura, slowly and painfully.

In a way, Kurogane didn't want Fai to face it alone. He wanted to face it for him, then to tell him it's all over. But Fai wouldn't let him in, wouldn't let him help, wouldn't let himself be comforted. And so what other choice did the ninja have but to break in?

Kurogane rose from his bed and dusted himself off. It was late, but he knew Fai wouldn't be asleep. Pain prevented sleep. Perhaps it was because Kurogane wanted the mage to get any rest, or wanted to clear his own conscience, or even wanted to mend something before it fell away forever. But, for whatever reason, Kurogane opened his door and walked out into the hall, lighted only by the streetlight.

Fai drove him crazy. Such small, fake smiles made the ninja feel helpless and awkward, just how he hated to feel. Being close to Fai made him unsure, like the feeling one gets when they take a step, but the ground is gone. Inexplicable, ineffable, and illogical, and the feelings stayed even when the mage was gone. Now, Kurogane begrudgingly worried about Fai, angry that he would worry, that he wasn't in control of the situation… but it seemed no one else was in control either.

Stopping in front of the door, Kurogane listened. Gentle sobs weakly answered, crashing against the wood between them, but there was another sound. A gentle hum came from Kurogane's feet. Mokona sat below, asleep against the door, watching over his mommy in crime.

Without a second thought, Kurogane opened the door and stalked in, closing it just as quickly while Mokona toppled over. Faintly, the white ball screamed, "Kuropipi better leave Fai-mommy alone or Mokona will eat Kuropipi!" Then the hall was silent again, letting the night pass.

PLEASE REVIEW! The next one will be cute but not without angst!