AN: it's jily deathversary today, so i've decided to post. tell me what ur doing for halloween, i'm staying in and rewatching trick r treat (obviously).

LunaCrusader and Guest, thank u so much for the reviews, i love hearing from u !

good 4 u — olivia rodrigo

"maybe i'm too emotional
or maybe you never cared at all."

Saturday
2:34 PM

"Lily, I think you can slow down now."

Lily came to a halt with a huff. She barely realised how fast she was still walking. She looked around. They were well away from the cabin now. And out into the open wilderness again. Great.

"I'm sorry," she said. "We should... try to settle on a course."

"Well, Jacob did tell us in which direction the nearest town is."

Oh. Lily had completely missed that. "We should go that way, then."

James nodded. "It's just that way." He nodded toward a path of trees not too far off from where Lily had been walking.

She nodded, setting off in that direction.

"D'you, maybe..." James started, cautiously. "Wanna talk about what just happened?"

Lily shook her head. "Not really. I'd prefer not to think about it, actually."

James nodded once. "Fair enough."

They walked in silence for a while.

It was only after a few metres that disaster struck.

Lily should've watched where she was going. She knew that. She'd been told many times. But she'd stopped caring at some point in the last seventeen hours.

She felt something soft but firm beneath her shoe. She instantly knew she'd fucked up.

It all happened too fast for either James or Lily to do anything. A chilling hiss. The low sound of fangs sinking into flesh.

Then came the pain. The truly excruciating pain.

Lily's eyes brimmed with tears.

She'd just barely glimpsed the snake when it was already gone, and James was wrapping his arms around her, gently lowering her to the ground.

Lily swallowed thickly. Bit her lip hard. She could hear James muttering something but she couldn't make it out. She let out a cry.

"Lily, please don't freak out. You'll be okay, I promise."

The pain was making Lily angrier than usual. "How would you know? I just got bitten by a snake! I'm going to fucking die, aren't I?"

James got the tiniest smirk on his face. Lily wanted to slap it off. "Didn't Kettleburn teach you anything about Muggle animals?"

Lily glared at him. "It's called Care of Magical Creatures."

"Right. Of course. Well, I read one of the park brochures where they mention adders, and it clearly said adder bites are extremely rarely fatal. Even if they do hurt like a bitch."

God, when did he become more of a know-it-all than her?

"So... did it say how to do one of those things to keep the venom from spreading?"

"It said it's best to leave it alone, wait until you can get to a hospital."

Lily's stomach churned. "Fuck me."

Just then, a sear of pain went through Lily's ankle and she couldn't help the gasp that escaped her. She wrapped her fingers around James's arm and squeezed.

"Shit," James muttered. "Shit. All right. Do you have any potions for pain in that backpack of yours?"

Lily nodded. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought of that.

James opened the backpack and rifled through it.

"That one," Lily said, nodding to the red bottle.

James read the label quickly. "What is this?"

Lily didn't care to explain at this particular moment. She took the bottle from James, and downed the entire thing.

James was looking at her in concern. "Lily. Where did you get that potion? What is it? It didn't look like any pain potion I've seen."

"Relax. I made it. I've tried it many times. It's just a regular pain potion mixed with some ibuprofen components. It took me a while to perfect it. I'm quite proud of it, actually."

James stared at the transparent red liquid left over at the bottom. "Ibo-what?"

"It's a Muggle pain medication." The pain was subsiding slightly now. And Lily liked talking about her potions, so she talked. "I always found that ibuprofen worked better for me. The only thing about pain potions I preferred was how fast they work. So, I found a way to get the best qualities of each medication in one."

James looked at her, impressed. "That... is really clever, Lils."

A wave of dizziness hit Lily. She leaned to the side, trying to find her balance.

"You okay?" James asked.

Lily's stomach turned. She felt like she was going to throw up. But she held it down. "Fine. The pain's better. I'm just... dizzy." She closed her eyes, tried to settle her insides. "We should... we should keep going."

"Are you sure? We can wait a bit longer."

Lily shook her head. But then that made her feel sick again. "No, no. I'd rather go."

James looked at her for a few moments, then nodded. He stood up, shouldering her backpack. He offered his hand. Lily took it. He held onto her elbow with his other hand and lifted her up slowly.

Lily immediately winced when she put weight on her ankle.

"You can lean on me," James said.

He wrapped an arm around Lily's waist. Her arm went around his neck. She hoped she wasn't hurting him, but it was truly impossible to focus on that while she felt the way she did.

They advanced a couple of feet extremely slowly. At this pace, it'd take them hours to get to the promised town. But at least they were moving. Lily did not want to stay still.

They walked for what felt like hours for Lily, even though they took breaks every few minutes. She knew it couldn't have been that long though. The sun hadn't even started going down yet.

The venom from that goddamn snake must've been extremely powerful because the meds were already wearing off. She needed something stronger than her dumb potion for headaches.

"Tell me something," she said, almost without thinking.

"Something? Like what?"

"Anything. I need a distraction."

"Oh, okay, um..." It was this second when James suddenly had nothing to say to her. "You know Led Zeppelin?"

Lily's foot felt like it was about to fall off. "Yeah, of course I know Led Zeppelin. I'm surprised you know them."

"Not that well. Sirius really likes them. He always plays me their stuff. It's good. Only Muggle music I like."

Lily chuckled. "What about Carole King?"

James frowned. "Who?"

He could not be serious. "Carole King. Adrian is like obsessed with her."

He showed no signs of recognition. "Oh. Uh, well, Adrian and I... were never that close."

He had made reference to that before. But they were neve close enough to not know Adrian was obsessed with Carole King? Anyone who spent time with Adrian was always ultimately forced to sit through Tapestry at some point.

It made Lily irrationally angry. "You... weren't that close? You dated her for months!"

James shrugged (as much as he could while holding Lily up). "Well, it's not as if she knew that much about me either."

Lily unstuck herself from James's side, practically collapsing onto a nearby rock. "I can't fucking believe you, James Potter."

James seemed truly oblivious. Which made Lily angrier. "What?"

"If you didn't even like her that much, then why the fuck did you date her in the first place?" When I really thought we had something. She wasn't delirious enough to slip that in.

James rubbed his temples. "Do you really want to talk about this right now, Lily?"

"Oh, you bet I fucking do. Because I've been holding some things in for months now, and it's about time you hear them."

Now he looked worried. He tapped his fingers on his thigh nervously. Looked away from her. "And you can say anything you want to me, Lily. Just after we get you some help, okay?"

"Well, that doesn't seem to be happening soon, and I really want to do this before I die, okay?"

James frowned. Finally looked her in the eye. "You're not going to die, Lily. Don't say that."

Lily scoffed. "Whatever. This won't take long either way. It's only a question, after all."

James sighed. "Fine, then."

"Why... Why did you go out with her so soon after...?" She couldn't even finish the question. She was so angry and determined but she just couldn't even say it. Her throat physically closed up.

But he understood. Of course he did. Lily could see it in his eyes. If she didn't know better, she'd say he looked... crestfallen. Not that he had any reason, or right to.

He took a slow breath. Looked down at the ground. He set his hands on his hips. He looked more miffed than anything else now. Lily really didn't get him.

"You're serious? You're genuinely asking me that question?"

Lily didn't feel like coming up with a witty reply. "Yes."

"I'm starting to think... you and I might have two very different versions of the truth... about what happened last year."

Lily wasn't expecting him to say that. "What does that mean?"

James pinched the bridge of his nose. "Lily, before I answer your question, I only need you to answer one of mine. Please." He'd gotten closer to her now. Looking deeply into Lily's eyes. He looked pained. "Please. I need you to tell me... clearly... why do you care so much about that?"

Lily had been inclined to grant James's request when she'd seen the stoic look in his eyes. But now that he'd voiced the question... it made her about ten times angrier than she already was. She felt like she was boiling on high. "You cannot be fucking serious, James! Why do you think I fucking care? You went off to date my friend after... after everything you said to me. God, it made me feel... it made me feel like shit to see you so... unaffected by what happened, to see that you'd moved on so easily when I... I didn't. I couldn't." She sniffled. "You broke my fucking heart, James."

A beat passed.

Absolute silence.

James stared at Lily like he'd never seen her before. Then, slowly, like he had lead in his shoes, James stumbled back, his back hitting a tree. And then he plopped down to sit on the ground. His head went into his hands. He messed with his hair, pulling at it hard enough to hurt.

"No." That was his answer. "No, no, no, no. This cannot be happening, Lily. This isn't real."

He seemed like he was genuinely panicking, and as cross as Lily was with him, she couldn't help concern.

She frowned at him. "James. Calm down. What's wrong?"

He finally looked up at her. His eyes were pained. "I was right."

Lily's frown deepened. A wave of dizziness hit her. "What?"

"When I said you and I might have two different versions of the truth... about what happened."

Lily had no idea what he was talking about. Although... he didn't mean...

This conversation was taking too long. They needed to keep moving. He'd have to explain what he meant on the way.

Lily stood up. Then the vertigo hit her. It felt like she'd left her body behind where she'd been sitting. Unceremoniously, her body went limp and dropped right to the ground.