My head is throbbing something awful. My limbs are filled with lava and my mouth the driest liquor in The Last Drop. I feel like shit. Well, I feel shittier than normal.
I try to sit up and take in my surroundings but everything hurts. Even my shimmer enhanced body feels weak and vulnerable. Maybe some sort of head injury? Or drugs? But I don't do drugs very often.
What the hell happened? Last thing I remember was… Silco. A dinner party, and I was the host. Hostess with the mostest.
He was limp at my dinner party, bleeding out on the floor. I killed him. I KILLED HIM. Wait, my sister was there also. He would have killed her. I saved her? Of course I saved her. Something deep down still loves her.
How could I forget her traitorous new girlfriend. How could I forget? She found someone else to love. She replaced me with some topsider bitch. I wanted her gone.
So it could be just me and Vi once again. No top hat lady. Couldn't Vi see her devilish smile? Her horns and teeth? How evil she is?
But, she didn't choose me. SHE BETRAYED ME. SHE LEFT ME. AGAIN. The voices of Mylo and Vander murmur in the background.
They poke me and antagonize me. I want them to SHUT UP. Stop messing with my braids! Stop tugging at my leggings! JUST STOP!
I go to claw at my scalp, to hit my temples, that sometimes makes them stop. But, my arms won't cooperate. What the hell happened? I want to writhe and cry but my body won't obey. I'm too weak.
A wave of memories, new and old, crashed over me like a tsunami. Fishbones. I killed the counselors. Just like I killed Vander, Mylo, Claggor, and so many nameless people. But then, nothing. Like a blank canvas.
My eyes shoot open with force. A white room. It was so white. Blinding almost. No color. Not the neon blues and pinks that I love so much. None of my scribbles.
It felt empty. It was maddeningly empty. I wanted to blow it to smithereens. With me inside.
Wait, but how did I get here? Everything after firing Fishbones is completely blank. My head is too fuzzy to hold onto any thoughts. My legs are jelly and my arms…
My arms are in a jacket. It's white like the walls. There are leather straps keeping it pressed to my body. It is suffocating me. I wriggle and strain but it won't move.
Mylo is sitting beside me. Mumbling like usual.
"You're a Jinx." He repeats that over and over again. He likes reminding me. No, he LOVES reminding me.
Claggor is standing in the corner, but never defends me. He hates me, but he never talks like Mylo. Just looking at me with malice and disgust. His goggles reveal no mercy, just the deathly stare of a deceased brother.
I'm sorry. I'M SO SORRY!
A sharp shadow overtakes the white walls. Darkness. So much darkness. That's all there ever is. I can never escape it. Blood is all over the floor. Not this one again.
Soon all I can see is Vander, bleeding out in front of me. I can smell it. Not coppery like normal blood, but gasoline. Gasoline and rot. It was always the same.
Mylo is reduced to nothing but screams and cries in the background. I can't see any of them any more, except Vander.
Vander's dead eyes stare into my soul. Just glassy, and cold. WHY WON'T THEY LEAVE ME ALONE!
I scream. I scream to block out the voices. I scream to force the shadows back into the corners where they came from. I scream because I don't know what else to do.
I shut my eyes. Now I can no longer see the blood. Only my screams are audible to my ears. I scream until my voice breaks.
I can't breathe, the air is too thick. I can only cry.
The warmth of salty tears is a nice feeling. I hadn't realized how cold I was before. They roll off my cheeks and mix with the blood on the floor. Why didn't it go away? The blood usually goes away with Vander.
I realize the blood is mine. Dribbling down my chin and onto the jacket. It seems I bit my tongue or cheek. I was bleeding and couldn't feel it.
I watch my slowing tears and coppery blood fall. It was art. The swirls and droplets swirled to make patterns.
I could see Vi and Powder. They were young. Happy. But nothing more than puddles on the floor.
The voices were silent for once. Maybe a little in the background but nothing I couldn't tune out. I felt tired. The smell of blood and sadness swarmed my nose.
I wish Vi was here. Not Jinx's Vi, but Powder's. She would hug us and comfort us when the monsters got too scary.
But, she doesn't love Jinx. She loved Powder. Powder is dead. Fell down a well, never climbed out. She shattered like fragile glass, that can never be fixed.
I wish Powder was here. Not just a figure who sits in the corner and judges me. I wish I could go back.
Back when Powder's Vi was still around. Back to when the voices were nothing more than thoughts in my head.
Back when Vander had life in his eyes. When Claggor and Mylo were my brothers instead of my demons. Back. Back. BACK.
"She doesn't love us anymore." I say to nobody. Maybe I'm telling Mylo and the demons lurking just behind my field of vision. "I just want her back." Mylo starts whispering again. "I just wish I had died on the bridge." He gets louder.
"Jinx. You're a jinx". Why was he the hardest to ignore?
Why hadn't I died on the bridge? It was Silco. I loved him, but he should have let me die. It would be better than this shimmer coursing through my veins. It makes it harder to control my emotions.
It makes me stronger, but did I really want that? Why couldn't he just let me die? Now I will be stuck with him forever. His face in the shadows. Whispers as I try to sleep. He can never leave me. Because. I KILLED HIM!
The voices just chatter and chatter. I close my eyes so at least maybe I won't see the monsters lurking. I sat like this for a while. Concentrating my hardest to keep the darkness away. It only works sometimes.
I can feel my head clearing. My body is acclimating and feels stronger than before. If it wasn't for this dumb ass jacket I could probably tear my way out of here.
There are footsteps. Maybe I'm just hallucinating. No. I hear footsteps. Getting closer. Is there a door? If so, maybe I could jump them and get out of this blinding white prison.
I wish I had Pow-Pow. That would be very helpful. "No duh! Your sweet sister has probably already destroyed that ugly gun by now!" Ugh, thanks Mylo.
Standing up is a pain but my legs seem stable enough. The jacket makes my balance a bit off, but nothing I can't adapt to. I always adapt.
Stomp, stomp, stomp. Sounds like a few people. Varying foot steps. They stop. I could hear faint murmuring but couldn't pick up any words.
The walls are entirely white, all padded also. Weird, who the hell pads a room? Probably some privileged rich Piltover person thing. Maybe having a cozy bed wasn't enough, maybe they needed a whole room.
It did make locating the door a bit tricky. No windows or handles. What a strange place.
It was the clicking of a lock that alerted me to the door. Straight in front of me. I really didn't have a plan, but improvising was kinda my thing.
Click. A lock. Click. Another lock. Click. Another lock? How many damn locks did this place have?
"This is a prison you dumb child." "Where else would they put someone as crazy as you?" "They are afraid of you." Damn it, why couldn't they just shut up? But the more they talk the more puzzle pieces click into place.
I think I'm in a mental hospital. Of course Vi would drop me off here. Abandon me here while she and her girlfriend dance into the sunset. That was Vi for you. That bitch. I'm glad she left me. Maybe only dead people can haunt me.
Maybe Vi will finally shut up from the shadows. She is a traitor. She was also standing behind the door frame. When had that opened up?