DrM: Well, hello! And Welcome to My Little World of Weirdness! And you're even more welcome to this special Chapter of Whoops! Didn't mean to do that! Written from actual conversations between me and my beta reader, and my own mind, Brian . . . (don't ask!) Please just insert the standard disclaimer here; 'cause I can't afford to be sued . . . I wanna buy the next CCS DVD! Besides people scare me . . .
Blue Goo: [Soothing] Don't worry, you scare people more than they scare you . . .
DrM: [Not really listening] Thank you . . . hey . . . wait a minute!! [Growls] Oh! You're so mean to me!!
Blue Goo: Gasp! [Taken back] I'm not mean to yo—[thinks] Oh, no, wait . . . wait . . . [nods] uh, yeah, yeah . . . I AM so mean to you! [Sniggers]
DrM: Mou! Anyway . . . here lies every little joke, prank, general information that couldn't be fitted into the main part of the story . . . it has no real meaning at all except I wanted to waste some of my time, my beta-reader's time and probably yours before moving into the next 'series' . . . remember this IS supposed to be a parody of CCS after all . . .
Entire cast of CCM and Blue Goo: GET ON WITH IT!!
DrM: [looks appealingly at reader] See what I have to put up with here?
Entire cast of CCM, Blue Goo AND readers: GET *ON* WITH IT!!
DrM: [sighs] No one loves this evil overlord . . . [sings] I'm all aloooone! [Gets hit over the back of the head, Shouts] ROLL FILM!!!
Big voice over dude's voice
~~ - Change of scene and/or interview
WHOOPS . . . DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT . . . BEHIND THE SCENES SPECIAL . . . Take one, Scene one . . . quiet on set please . . . annnnnnnnd ACTION!!
-----------------------------------
And now it's time for Leave it to . . .
All: CARDCAPTOR MEILIN?!
~~
Meilin is played by herself . . .
Meilin: Well, here it is . . . my first interview as the new Cardcaptor . . . what can I say . . . ummmm, how did I first become involved with this project? [Scratches head] Let's see um, I have to admit it was during one of DrM's doodling sessions when she was trying to draw Sakura . . . y'know, that pic where she's in this like magical pose with her hands up and the Clow key's just floating there in her hands . . . yeah, well, like nearly everything DrM draws it went wrong . . . and turned into me instead! [Laughs] so ta-da! Cardcaptor Meilin was born!! [Laughs] Anyway, I'll be taking you through all the set pieces and stuff . . . and there will be some interviews with the stars of this fanfic. Enjoy!
~~
Clow Reed plays himself . . .
Clow: I gotta be honest with you . . . [Shakes head] I was opposed to it originally . . . you see, I thought DrM had pulled off two fun fics, and then she had had a bit of trouble with that third one about Kero [Nods] . . . I mean, the reviews say otherwise but still, I personally didn't think she could pull it off . . . that and, this fic would just *ruin* my reputation as Clow Reed, Master of Intrigue and Magic . . . I mean . . . what's that new character's catchphrase . . .?
~~
Yue's actual Stunt Double plays Yue-Bella from CCS . . .
Yue-Bella: 'But then Clow Reed was an idiot!' . . . Can you believe it? [Giggles] I get to say that like, *every* episode! I'm serious . . . [Pulls out contract, points] See . . . right there! Right *there* in my contract, I get to say 'But then Clow Reed was an idiot!' and/or any variation on it! I mean like, how brilliant is that?! [Points at self] I get to mock Clow Reed, right? . . . AND get paid for it!!
Interviewer: please tell our viewers about your character . . .
Yue-Bella: Well, she's like Yue but then she's not, I mean she dresses like ruby, but it's all in Yue type colours . . . yeah, I already told ya what she thinks of ol' Clow Reed, nutcase as he was . . . um, she has this other form called Yukito-Bella, who is just like Yukito, which is really scary for Yue-Bella [laughs] 'cause Yukito and her are like skipping and dancing around the place like a bad children's programme! [leans forward] and she and Keroberos-ette have this like, huge secret. . . [giggles] that's not gonna be revealed 'til the end!!
~~
Clow: [laughs] Of course I was pulled over to giving it my seal of approval . . . mostly because she promised to make it clear that me and Yue had *had* our relationship . . . [leans forward] Which, for all you dubbers out there, it did like *happen* . . . me an' Yue, we were . . . [grins and shakes head] oh, ho-ho! We were like 'at it' like . . . [chuckles] all the time . . .
~~
Kero-ette is played by Keroberos' body double from CCS. . .
Kero-ette: Konnichiwa! My name's Kero-ette but you should know this already . . . in Cardcaptor Sakura I was Keroberos' body double, [laughs] Obviously, I used to do all the really close up shots and they would dub his voice over, and I am also the Kero you see in all the credits . . . aside from Groovy 'cause that's an animation . . .
Interviewer: How are you taking to this project?
Kero-ette: I was one of the main reasons it got started, of course, me, Meilin and Yue-Bella really . . . I know that sounds so Hollywood, but seriously I'm sure Meilin's told you about the doodling session that went so very wrong huh? Yeah, again I was meant to be Kero but uh, yeah it went so wrong . . . [giggles] but Yue-B, aw, man is she a different story . . . she was actually a stupid joke between DrM and her beta reader . . . they were talking about star trek one day, and some how that got on to, I think transporter accidents . . . and DrM and Blue Goo were just asking 'what would happen if . . .?' and thus a transporter accident between Yue and Ruby later . . . well, just look at ol' Yue-b and you'll see!
Blue Goo: [Pops head in] If you want to see a picture of Yue-Bella . . . tough, you can't, it'll incriminate me. [Wags finger knowingly] But there is one . . .
~~
The director and co-editor, Doctor Megalomania is played that Youko girl from CCS . . . you know the one who had this really big crush on Touya and then disappeared without a trace, yeah, this is what happened to her . . . The Beta Reader and Editor, Blue Goo is literally a Blue Goo contained in a hologram, even after 3 million years she's still waiting for the transgalactic Bus to return her to her home galaxy . . .
DrM: Clow Reed is, is . . . definitely *is* one of the weirdest guys I have ever worked with . . . I swear I've never been so inundated with wacky situations since me and my beta-reader . . . who is hopefully seated here! [points at beta reader]
Blue Goo: . . . hic . . .
DrM: [laughs] Since we watched uh, the episode where Touya and Yuki got to be the classic Cinderella and the Can Of Mackerel! [Folds arms looks at Beta reader] you've been hanging out with Suppi again, haven't you? [Shakes head disapprovingly]
Blue Goo: [confused] *With* Suppi? [Remembering self] I mean, yes, of course, *with* him . . .
DrM: [sniggers] Of course . . . not that you *are* him in any--- [looks at Blue Goo] No, wait . . . that's just to . . . TERRIFYING to contemplate . . .
Blue Goo: [mutters] There was a problem with the hologram, okay?
~~
Keroberos is played by himself . . .
Kero: Oh no . . . I was well up for it . . . in fact; I was the whole reason behind the change in title! [Claps and laughs] Yeah, the original title was Cardcaptor Meilin: The Whoops Cards . . . but I was like . . . oh no! You can't do that! That's a crap title . . . [clamps paws over mouth] Can I say that?
[Interviewer nods]
Kero: Great! Anyway . . . I was in the board meeting and I was like, no way! You can come up with something better than that, DrM! I mean, she kept sayin' she wasn't happy with GBotS,WSC . . . which by the way, I told her was a crappy title!
DrM: [pops head in] You liar! [Laughs] Anyway it sums you up perfectly!
Kero: [sticks tongue out] As you can see, we're all great friends on set as well. . .
~~~
On-Set:
Meilin: Okay, here's the set . . . [Gestures around] um, this is where we rehearse and we shoot everything . . . well, mostly everything . . . some things we have to do in the Blue screen room . . . which is where all the special effects are done, and on location and stuff . . . [Points at director chair] that's DrM's chair . . . but she's always, y'know, mostly on the set, or on the edge, making little tweaks and stuff to what we're doing . . .
DrM: Okay everyone . . . this is scene one and . . . [Looks at Clow Reed, who is making stupid faces and generally trying to distract DrM, who tries not to laugh] . . . shut it you . . . and . . . [Wags finger] I mean it! And we need to get um, Yue, Kero and Clow really drunk so Clow can be as stupid as always . . .
Take one: Part1/Sc1
Kero: What comes after three?
Yue: Um. . . don't you mean two?
Kero: What?
Clow: [falls off seat]
DrM: CUT! Get them more beer . . . they aren't funny enough yet!!
Clow, Kero and Yue: WOO HOO!!
Take two: Part1/Sc1
Kero: What do you get if you add two to three?
Clow: A . . . [tuts quietly] Aw, crap! [Sniggers and whispers to camera] I've forgotten my lines . . . [Presses finger against lips] Shhh!
[Kero and Yue burst into laughter]
Yue: Can we keep that in?
Take three: Part1/Sc1
Kero: What comes after two?
Yue: Three . . . I'm fairly sure it's three!
Kero: Now who's screwing up his lines?
Yue: No seriously, three comes after two!
Kero: No, it doesn't!
Yue: Yeah, it does! [Pouts] who took an A level in pure mathematics here?
DrM: CUT!!
Take four: part1/sc1
Kero: What do you get if you add two to three?
Clow: [glazed over expression] No T.V. and no beer make Clow go something, something . . .
DrM: [laughs] CUUUUUUUTTTT!!
Clow: Must kill family . . . urge to kill . . . rising, rising . . . falling . . . RISING!! [Grabs Kero and pretends to throttle him]
Kero: Clow, look! [Points at Yue]
Clow: [drops to knees] YUE!! Teacher . . . mother . . . [homer Simpson-type drool] . . . secret lover . . .
DrM: Aw . . . c'mon you guys! CUT!!
Blue Goo: [scared] That was sick . . . weird . . . and twisted!
Yue: Can we keep that in?
Take five: part1/sc1
Yue: Three . . . I'm fairly sure three comes after six! [Staggers] but then . . . the moon's made of cheese . . . green cheese at that . . . just call me the Guardian of the Cheesy Poofs!
Clow: Uh . . . I think Yue's had enough for tonight . . . [Gently guides Yue to his trailer] Think ya better call it a wrap!
Drm: CUT! [Throws script in the air] Get *me* more beer!
~~
Yue and Keroberos play themselves . . . well, most of the time that is . . .
Yue: As per usually, DrM insisted we were in perfect character for that scene so all that vodka, and beer, and . . . What else did we have?
Kero: Um, whiskey, bitter, tequila, um rum, ooohh. . That Jamaican rum was good wasn't it? [Yue nods] . . . man, we had almost every alcohol you can think of . . .
Yue: So in actual fact we were *actually* *really* drunk when we filmed that scene! [Laughs] We took about seven takes, and we couldn't do it on take eight . . .
Kero: [sniggers] He actually fell off the bench!
Yue: [shakes head and grins] Yeah, Clow was fine 'cause he just absorbs the stuff! [Kero laughs, makes clug-clug noises] not that he's a serious drinker, it's just he's really old . . .
Kero: He'll kill you for that!
Yue: [waves at camera] Clow, you know I love you but baby . . . you're over a hundred years old! [Laughs] Anyway, if you look really closely at the screen during that first episode . . . that's Kero-ette and Yue-Bella . . . in our costumes!!
~~
Editing suite:
Meilin: come in, come in . . . But shh, you gotta be like really quiet here . . . this is where DrM and the Blue Goo do the most of their editing . . . personally, I think it's just a front to cover their chocolate fundue and pretzel eating . . . [DrM makes back 'V' at Meilin, who laughs and pulls door shut] Okay, come with me . . . I'm gonna take you to the dressing rooms . . .
~~
Syaotang
is actually Syaoran's stunt double from the original CCS . . .
Syaotang: Hi . . . um, this is my first interview as Syaotang, but everyone on
set just calls me 'Tang . . . um, I was Li Syaoran's stunt double in Cardcaptor
Sakura: The Final Judgement . . . [snaps gum and nods] Yep . . . that was me
taking the beatin' there . . . [laughs] Nah, I tell ya, Yue's a nice bloke . .
. I mean, ol' Nelvana wants you to think otherwise but he's a nice bloke . . .
real nice . . . everyone's real nice, I like 'em . . .
Interviewer: What about Meilin?
Syaotang: [nods] Cheeky! Naw, I can't tell ya about that . . . can't tell ya about much actually 'cause this is only the first special programme . . . [laughs] Yeah, that's right there's gonna be another one . . . I'll be sitting in this chair again, telling you about season two! Okay, a little info about me . . . I'm Syaotang, my name means Little Tango . . . um, my family are this really remote section of the Li clan, we're really powerful, we're stinkin' rich, we live in Readingtown . . . don't ask me where *that* is. . . it's just somewhere in America, in a small state, in a small city in a small suburban hell . . . hey! Blame Nelvana . . . they started it!
~~
Dressing room:
Meilin: This is where we get made up and get outfitted . . .
Tomoyo: [blushes, tries to hide from camera]
Meilin: [laughs and chases after Tomoyo] Here's our main costume designer. . . [Hugs Tomoyo] This is the real magic girl behind the Magic Girl card!
Tomoyo: [really embarrassed] No, no, no! Go film Sakura! She's much better on film!
Madison: Hey film me! Film me!!
Meilin: Um, that's all the time we have to spare here in the dressing room . . . [runs out with film crew]
~~
DrM: We've had to cut a few scenes . . . like um . . . [Points at video screen] like, Yue finding Clow naked in bed . . .
Deleted Scene:
Kero: Yue?
Yue: [grinning] Yes Kero?
Kero: Why are you grinning like an idiot?
Yue: What . . . [Sighs] I can't keep this grinning up . . . it's hurting my face!!
DrM: CUT!
Kero: [mimicking Yue] If anyone wants me . . . I'll be in my trailer!
Yue: [serious] You have a trailer?! Why does he get a trailer and *I* don't?!
DrM: CUUUUUTTT!!!
DrM: Um . . . Madison's first appearance in the class . . .
Deleted Scene:
Teacher: We have a new student in class . . . yadda, yadda, yadda!
DrM: CUT! [Walks on set] what?!
Teacher: Have you even noticed that all I ever say in your fics is 'students, we have a new student in class'?
DrM: [reads scripts] That's not true . . . see here, you get to say . . . 'where is everyone?' And what about here in the Late card episode?
Teacher: [puts up hands] If anyone wants me . . . I'll be in my trailer!
Yue: [irate] This two-bit character gets a trailer and I don't?! Where's my agent?! This stupid two-bit character gets a trailer, and he's never even referred to by name!!
DrM: That's it! Everyone break for lunch!
~~
Sakura and Syaoran play themselves . . .
Sakura: Hoe?
Syaoran: [mimicking] Hoe?
[Syaoran sniggers as Sakura folds arms and pouts]
Syaoran: I didn't think it would work . . . I mean, it's Meilin! I love her as a sister . . . but seriously, Meilin's just not as popular as a character . . . I mean I've seen stuff where she's a complete psycho . . .
Sakura: And she always gives her all in Cardcaptor Sakura . . .
Syaoran: I was talking about that actually . . .
Sakura: [shakes her head] He's so mean to her . . . [leans forward and mouths 'he actually loves her so much!']
~~
Yue play himself, and for a change is Yue-bella's stunt Double in CCM . . .
Yue: Ohayo! My name is Yue . . . I'm the moon guardian of the Clow . . . um, I've always been the serious one in most of my roles, although here I do get to mess around for a bit . . . it's nice and interesting not having to be called upon most of the time, seeing as my um, 'identical twin sister' is always called on as the moon guardian of the Whoops.
Interviewer: What were your feelings about this fanfic when you first heard about it?
Yue: I was like . . . as long as it doesn't involve my hair again . . . seriously, I mean, if you look at DrM's other fics . . . every time, time and time again, my hair is either attacked, or explained away . . . mostly it's blamed on Keroberos, sometimes on other new characters . . . or other things . . . DrM just can't accept that Clow made me this way . . .
~~
Ruby and Spinel play themselves in CCM
Ruby: I'm all for it!
Spinel: I was more cautious about it . . .
Ruby: Yeah but that's what you're like, like twenty four seven!
Spinel: [nods] Mostly because I don't often get the lime light in fanfics like this, it's more often I'm more of a minor character . . . I have to admit I work more behind the scenes pointing out bits which have been done, done and had the tee shirt from!
Ruby: Incredible as it sounds, ol' Suppi---
Spinel: Spinel!
Ruby: [grinning] Suppi . . . will hopefully getting more action this 'fic! Should be interesting 'cause [leans forward and whispers] between you and me . . . and you didn't hear it from this moon guardian . . . Suppi and Kero are---
Spinel: Urusei!
~~
Touya and Yukito play each other . . . only kidding, I mean themselves . . .
Touya: I want to complain . . . there are too many references to Star Wars!
Yuki: [just sniggers]
Touya: [goes into really hyper drive] I mean, DrM is a fellow trekkie! And she should be dissing Star Wars not promoting it!! I mean . . . me and her, we are just chilling in the staff room, and watching Captain Janeway strut her stuff, and DrM is writing about Darth Vader! It's soooo wrong!
Yuki: [slaps thighs, and wipes tear from eye] He's like this all the time . . . why else, in the fancy dress episode, did he come as Captain Pica—
Touya: [puts hand over Yuki's mouth] I'll just pretend you didn't even go there!
~~
[DrM in director's chair, yamazaki suddenly pops out of nowhere]
Yamazaki: Makes you wonder huh?
DrM: ARGGGH!! [Recovering from shock] What?
Yamazaki: What the hell happened to Chiharu, Rika and That Girl Whose Name You Can Never Spell Right. . .?
DrM: [presses finger against lips] Now . . . where did I put them?
~~
In some forgotten Hole, Somewhere in the Props Room . . . and it's pitch black
Chiharu: So . . . two months . . .
Rika: Yep . . . and we're still down that hole . . . think anyone noticed?
That girl Whose Name DrM Can Never Spell Right: Well, while we're waiting for rescue . . . anyone know a ghost story . . .?
~~
DrM: Nope . . . I can't remember . . . do you?
Yamazaki: [opens mouth, and raises the Finger]
DrM: [stamps on foot] Why am I asking you? You'll just lie to me!
~~
Eriol and Tomoyo play themselves, assist with editing and costuming, and occasionally scripts . . .
Eriol: It was a whacked out idea in the first place . . . I mean, Meilin . . . as a Cardcaptor?! Pul-lease!
Tomoyo: Don't believe a word he says . . .period!
Eriol: Oh, thanks, I love you too Tomoyo!
Tomoyo: You liar! You love this story; he's like the worst practical joker on set! The other week, right? He charmed the set, when we first meet Madison . . .
Eriol: [sniggers] Had it coming . . . that's all I'm gonna say . . .
~~
Take one:
Madison: Syaaaaaaotannnnn---WHOA!!
DrM: CUT!
Madison: Hey . . . what's this black ice doing here?
DrM: Black ice? How can there be black ice? This is . . . oh, wait we're in England . . . and Eriol's here . . .
Take two:
Syaotang: And I hope that . . . [Looks around, talks louder] AND I HOPE THAT . . .
DrM: CUT! Madison! That's your cue!
Madison: I can't move! There's glue on the set floor!!
DrM: Eriol!
Eriol: [completely innocent] Nani? I'm just an innocent schoolboy!
DrM: Innocent school boy my as---
Nelvana censor: Careful, DrM, this is a Nelvana show. . .
Drm: Oh . . . okay . . . [Thinks] Wait a minute . . . this isn't a Nelvana show!
[Takes after Nelvana censor with a big saucepan!!]
Take three:
Syaotang: and I'm still gonna catch 'em all . . .
Ash: No! I will be come the greatest Pokemon master!!
Syaotang: What the--?
DrM: Ahhhhh!! Run for your lives . . . we're being invaded by Pokemon!!
Tai: Argumon . . . digivolve into . . .
Digimon music: Di –di –digimon, digital monsters, digi--- [cuts off abruptly]
Tai: Digivolve to. . . hmmm. . . what was it you turn into again? . . . you know that big t-rex type thing with the big brown helmet. . . and you know what I mean. . .the pepper breath attack. . .
DrM: [tapping fingers on armrest] Eriol?
Eriol: [humming to self] Change into digital monsters to . . . save a digital world! Digimon, digital monsters, digimon are the champions! [Wraps arm around Ken and both start singing] Digimon, digital monsters . . .
DrM: [sighs, and shakes head slowly] hooo . . . boy . . .
~~
Meilin: I would rather be in a more serious endeavour to tell the truth . . . mostly because of my awesome acting abilities . . . but I couldn't resist the temptation of starring in my own magic girl show . . . mostly because I simply never appear in DrM's fics . . . I mean, it's an interesting project . . . and I'm sure if we all give the commitment and the energy we're giving a hundred and ten right now, I'm positive we'll be able to see through to the next series . . . [Looks off screen] Is that it now?
[DrM nods]
Meilin: [snortles] how corny was that?! Man, my check is in the post!
DrM: [clears throat] Uh, Meilin honey . . . the camera's still rolling . . .
Meilin: Aw . . . crap! Can we edit that out?
DrM: This is UNCUT. . . NOT Nelvana!
~~
[Back set, DrM in DrM's chair, DrM sniggers, having just read something about Stewie from Family Guy, Clow in Clow's chair]
Clow: What's got you laughing like Yue's just flown into a tree?
DrM: Okay Clow . . . boxers or briefs?
Clow: What kind of question is that?
DrM: Briefs, innit?
Clow: Most certainly not! Boxers do me fine, thank you very muchly.
DrM: [raises eyebrow] Oh really?
Clow: Let's just put it this way . . . it's not the size of the sealing cane that matters . . . it the power behind the card it's sealing . . .
DrM: [sniggers] Yeah, right . . . [points at Clow's sealing cane] . . . Making up for something?
Clow: Am not! Just ask Yue . . .
DrM: Wanna bet? [Clow nods, and DrM and Clow shake on it] Yue! [Yue walks over] Is Clow making up for something with his sealing wand or is he making up for something with his sealing wand?
Yue: [blushes] Trust me . . . there is nothing he could make up with that package . . .
Clow: Eh! Pay up! [Slaps hand and holds it out to DrM] Pay up baby, 'cause you know it's true!!
Blue Goo: Sick, weird and twisted!
DrM: Like you didn't see it coming!
Blue Goo: I had my eyes closed . . . wait, I don't have eyes . . .
Drm: [blinks] . . . Clow . . . she's scaring me!!
Clow: [not listening, drooling over Yue] Yue . . . guardian . . . creation . . . secret lover! [DrM joins in, homer like noise] Gaaaaaaaaah . . .
Blue Goo and Kero: Can we leave that out?
~~
End of the day . . . last of the primary filming for a flash back scene . . .
Drm: Okay people . . . that's a wrap!
Clow: [clapping] All right! Well done, guys!
Yue: [yawns] Let's get back to our hotel room. . . man am I bushed!
Kero: That's a wrap! [Grins at camera] I am gone, I am so far down the corridor, I'm just this dot on the horizon! Okay, that's was Good, ladies and gentlemen, I'mmmmmm ouuuuutttttta herrrrrre!!!
Drm: [talking to camera] That's a wrap. . . go home. . . ladies and gentlemen, Goodnight, don't come bothering me 'till the morning, 'Tang baby. . . work on those lines! Meilin, star of the show, let's keep up the good work!
~~
[Cue Kero-ette singing her character song . . . Cardcaptor of the Whoops!!]
Back vocals: What if, Hammer, Bounce, Hole, Swear, Unfinished, Stupid . . .
Cardcaptor of the Whoops,
Expect some unexpected stuff!
Kero-ette: It's time for Cardcaptor Meilin!!
Kero-ette: The Blunders of the Clow
Were all a huge mistake!
So when this crappy book was opened,
Someone shoulda dump 'em in the lake!
Meilin: [really corny Voice Over] Let's Capture That Card!!
B.Vocals: Cardcaptor, you gotta be kidding!
Cardcaptor, go track them down!
Kero-ette: Each card was such a terrible mistake,
You've got to find them to make sure Clow saves face!
Yue-Bella: [another really corny voice over] but then . . . Clow was an idiot . . .
Back vocals: What if, Hammer, Bounce, Hole, Swear, Unfinished, Stupid . . .
Cardcaptor of the Whoops,
Expect some unexpected stuff!
Kero-ette: All Right!! It's time for Cardcaptor Meilin!!
Kero-ette: Cardcaptor, you gotta be kidding!
Cardcaptor, go track them down!
Cardcaptor . . . dun dun do dodo!
CARDCAPTOR
MEILIN?!