Well, hello! And Welcome to My Little World of Weirdness!
I state for the record that, despite the fact I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the characters that will grace this story; it's all CLAMP's! Always has been, always will be! Nor do I [regretfully] own The Gumi 'Catch You, Catch Me' theme tune, but I do own the Cardcaptor of the Whoops lyrics to this fic!! And Yue-Bella, and Kero-ette, and Li Syaotang, and Madison Rae and Carl Hodover, and several other characters, but I don't want to spoil the surprise yet!! All other songs I don't own, but I do own the made up lyrics!! Also I don't pretend to have any Mastery over the language of Japanese or any clue as to correct grammatical structure. I put it in and hope it gets across the point I'm trying to make!
"Speaking"
*Stress/emphasis*
//Thinking//
~~Flashback~~
#Singing#
Whoops! Didn't Mean To Do That . . .
Series Zero.Two
By Dr Megalomania.
[Cue 'Catch You, Catch Me' and Meilin Singing:]
So now, catch 'em, catch 'em, that way, that way, Hoo-boy!
Remind me who's fault this was!
And now, Syaotang's after 'em and Madison's crazy! Help me!!
Surely there must be some other, other, other, OTHER way!!
I'm in such deep sh-------
~~
A long time ago in the peace and tranquillity that was the Clow Reed Mansion . . .
"SHUT UP!! FOR THE LOVE OF CLOW REED, SHUT UP!!!"
Clow pressed his hands over his ears again. "Oh no. . . They're at it again . . ."
"MAKE ME!! GO ON!" Yue roared from the piano room, "I DARE YOU, MAKE ME!!"
"I'LL MAKE YOU!!" Keroberos screamed from his room above, "I'LL MAKE YOU RUE-AY THE DAY, YU-AY!!"
"YOU'LL MAKE ME WHAT?! A PUDDING?! MY CLOW! THAT'LL BE THE DAY WHEN YOU GET OFF YOUR LAZY ENCHANTED BACKSIDE AND COOK FOR YOURSELF!!"
Clow rubbed his skull as his guardians took a momentary break in their argument to mutually humpht at each other. "Ehhh! Doushite? Why me?!" He looked up as sweet twinkling music started again. He smiled; Yue was learning to play the piano. He was only two months old, and the young angel was trying his hardest, but every so often . . .
Dunnk! Dunnk! Dunnk!
Clow winced as Yue repeatedly hit the wrong key . . . *that* was the problem, Yue simply refused to accept that he, Yue the Judgement Maker, had made a mistake, thus insisted on hitting the piano key until *it* yielded and played the right note . . .
"STOP IT!" Keroberos begged, "YOU'RE SOOOO BAD AT IT!! FOR THE LOVE OF CLOW, PLEASE SHUT UP!!"
"MAKE ME! STUFFED ANIMAL!!"
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!" Clow looked up as he heard Keroberos bolt from his room and bound down the stairs, he sighed as he heard Yue fly out of the piano room at break neck speed to meet his brother, roaring as he went, "YOU HEARD ME!!"
Clow sighed again as the two yelled furiously at each other as they beat the stuffing out of the other, if only he could think of a Card . . . a special Card . . . something that would make things really quiet for him, so he couldn't hear them . . . he leant back in his favourite chair, and stroked his chin, "Perhaps I need some sort of silence Card . . ."
[Cue Senselessly Dramatic Music]
Part Eight: Meilin, Eriol And Clow Reed's Very Loud Day!
Meanwhile in the future . . .
"HERE WE GO!!" Meilin's roller skates sparked as she spun on her crimson red magic circle. "RETURN TO YOUR MISTAKE'S CONFINE!!" She hollered over the howling gusts of magic, "SHOUT CARD!!"
Syaotang ran up the side of the wall in that really groovy Matrix way as he caught the other spirit due for sealing, he hurled it in Meilin's direction while balancing himself on the lamppost, "Meilin! Here's the Scream Card!!"
Meilin skated quickly towards the spirit, as it tried to get away, "Oh no, you don't!!" Kero-ette roared and sucked in a single deep breath, "GRRRRAH!!" She yelled as she blew it back to the ground with her fireball attack. "Meilin! NOW!!"
Meilin's skates sparked again dramatically, as she came to a skidding halt. "RETURN TO YOUR MISTAKE'S CONFINE . . ." the Card got up and started to run up the alley way towards her, screaming it's head off like a banshee. Incredibly, Meilin flipped herself up and over the Card just as it rushed her, she twirled her staff neatly and tapped the back of the Card's head, "SCREAM CARD!!"
Meilin landed neatly on her feet, pressing one hand against the concrete to balance herself. She looked up as Yue-Bella's shadow passed over her quickly; the Moon angel-girl was in hot pursuit of the third and final Card they had to capture that night. The angel-girl threw back her hand as a cold blue glow appeared in her hand. The spirit flapped its wings faster as Yue-Bella's torrent of icicles threw up clouds of dust on the pavement as they hit, the Card dodged them all, and flew straight at her.
Yue-Bella raised a single perfect eyebrow calmly as she stared at the Card, "Do you really think that's a good idea?" The angel-girl calmly drew her ice bow and arrow and aimed it at her opponent; the Card gulped and changed tactics. Yue-Bella's arrow just grazed the bottom of the Card's visible form. The angel-girl gritted her teeth and gave chase again. Meilin looked around, Madison was leaping from roof to roof, as she also trailed the Card, "FORK'S KNOW MY PLATE!!" The purple haired girl called, "RELEASE THE LIGHTNING!! KIIIIII--YAH!"
Bright lightning whipped forth from Madison's sword but the Card saw it coming, Syaotang shook his head and yelled, "That won't work!!" He back-flipped off the lamppost and landed easily besides Meilin, "Meilin!" He grabbed her shoulder; "It's up to you!"
Meilin nodded back sharply, she tapped the rubber ducky staff against her skates, the wheels glowed and disappeared, and she started to run after the Card. "Kero-ette!! Take Syaotang-kun up into the skies!!" Meilin yelled behind her, she looked up at the beast-ette's shadow passed over her, Syaotang waved down at her confidently. She spared one glance at Madison who was making her own way across the rooftops.
Meilin smiled to herself as she pulled out the Butterfly Card, her crimson magic circle glowing brightly as it formed again. She grasped her staff tightly in one hand as she threw the Card out in front of her. Just before it came spiralling back to her, Meilin did an impressive cartwheel, which turned into a flip. As she travelled through the air on her last flip, she brought the ducky staff down hard on the Card, "BUTTERFLY CARD!! GIVE ME WINGS TO COMBAT THIS CARD . . . RELEASE AND MISSPELL!!"
Yue-Bella and Kero-ette separated so their mistress could fly between them; their prey was just in front. Meilin twirled her staff around her hand and grasped it tightly in both hands, she whipped her head around to her Moon guardian, "You go that way!" Yue-Bella nodded and broke formation, Meilin turned her head to Kero-ette and Syaotang, "And you two go that way!!" She focused in on the Card's spirit, and yelled encouragingly, "LET'S CAPTURE THAT CARD!!"
Meilin flew straight ahead, the Moon light glinting off her costume's goggles, the costume made her feel like a cyber-chick, with it's thigh high metallic boots/skates combo, she had a tight black tank top, and black shorts. Everything else was in metallic scarlet, the coat that was open in the front except where it closed at the neck. Her hair was done up tight, two buns as usual and the rest of the hair looped back tightly, and she had goggles holding them all in place. She thought the Magic Girl Card had really out done herself for this one, and she liked it . . . it got her strange stares from Syaotang and growls from Madison but she didn't care, she liked the costume!
"MEILIN!!" Syaotang yelled as the Card suddenly looped back to her, her eyes widened as she ducked the Card. It turned and dived bombed her again; it was too fast and made her fly into a nearby telephone mast. "Meilin!!" Kero-ette roared, as the Card got ready to attack her again, Meilin's head snapped up, her bright red eyes widening as the Card came streaming towards her at break neck speeds.
Yue-Bella landed for a brief second and then took off again, hauling Meilin up in her arms. As soon as her sister and mistress were out of the way, Kero-ette looked over her shoulder, "Yank!"
Syaotang jumped skilfully to his feet on the lion's back, "Gotcha!"
As Kero-ette readied her fire attack, Syaotang whirled his sword around his hand and grasped it tightly as he pulled a handful of magic papers out, "Madison!" He yelled down, "Get ready!!"
Madison did the same as Syaotang, from the rooftops. The Card gulped as Kero-ette roared a huge fireball at it to drive it down, Madison unleashed some wind to hold it in place, and Syaotang shocked it with more lightning. The Card thought //Now, I know what Team Rocket feel like . . . I'm blasting off agaaaaaain!!!//
Yue-Bella released her mistress to fly on her own power, "Mistress! Seal it now!!"
Meilin nodded and flew after the Card, "RETURN TO YOUR MISTAKE'S CONFINE!!" Meilin roared as her feet made contact with her magic circle again, she struck the Card as hard as she could with the ducky staff, "EARMUFF CARD!!"
Madison jumped off the roof, and landed in the alleyway, Yue-Bella landed on the other side and folded her arms, looking as impassive as usual. Syaotang slid off Kero-ette's back and landed easily just a few feet in front of Madison, Keroberos-ette landed beside him and looked up as Meilin's magic circle faded, and the girl began to drop easily to the ground.
"Meilin?" Keroberos-ette yelled up, "Did we get it?!"
Meilin landed easily, straightened, and looked back on her companions, "Hai!!" She whirled her staff impressively in front of her, then above her head and then to the side in triumph, she held up the three troublesome Cards and fanned them, so each Card's form was visible, "HAAAAI!!"
Visible was form Card's each so, and them fanned Cardstroublesometheupheldshe---
"Wai! That's your best capture yet!!"
"I know . . . but . . ." Meilin cringed as Sakura pressed the rewind button again, "Do we have to watch it again?"
"Hai, hai!!" Sakura blinked, she clasped her hands together and sighed happily, "Listen to the Music Card; it really captured your bravery!"
"B-but . . ." Meilin sweat-dropped, "Must we watch it again?"
Kero-ette grinned, "Of course, of course!!" She glanced at her twin brother who was slowly chewing on the popcorn, a dark glint formed in her false form's beady little eye, "Don't you think I look brave there?"
Kero stuffed about six handfuls of popcorn into his smaller form's mouth quickly, chewed slowly, swallowed and then nodded, as Spinel Sun leant towards her, "But my dear . . . you always look so courageous . . ."
Kero rolled his eyes as Kero-ette swoon, "Spinel-chan, you think so . . .?"
As Spinel Sun leant over and flirted with Kero's identical twin sister, Yukito leant towards his sister, "What do you think? Yue-Bella is quick, isn't she?"
Yukito-Bella smiled, "Now I know why I can do so many sports, she is very fit . . ."
"Yue is very similar, Yuki . . ." Touya tapped his boyfriend's shoulder knowingly, "You've both got very athletic other forms . . . don't you think, Nakuru?"
Nakuru agreed and leant over the front row of seats, "Tomoyo-chan?"
Tomoyo turned in her, the stars in her eyes providing more light in the mini-cinema. The whole group minus Syaotang and Madison were packed into Tomoyo's little video room, she had recently had it renovated so she and Sakura and everyone else could enjoy watching the films of Meilin's captures. The capture they had just watched was from the night before; Meilin had captured three very annoying Cards, the Shout Card, the Scream Card, and the Earmuff Card.
Tomoyo sighed, "That was most excellent . . . and the Magic Girl remains on top form . . ." she sighed again.
"Uh . . . Tomoyo-chan . . ." Nakuru prodded the girl to check if she hadn't had a full frontal lobotomy, Eriol clapped and leant over his chair to talk to Syaoran. "Your cousin is a most excellent Cardcaptor . . . that was a brilliant capture . . ."
"She's been enough of them . . ." Syaoran said gruffly, "And I see she managed not to drop the staff on her head like she does in practice!"
Eriol chuckled, "You are so mean to her at times, but I know you love her a lot . . ." he scratched his chin knowingly, "Could it be you are developing a cousin-compl---"
Touya suddenly slapped his hand over Eriol's mouth and muttered darkly, "Okay . . . Yuki-Bella and Nakuru being Yuki and me is scary enough . . . I don't want you two complicating the issue . . ."
Nakuru sat back in her chair very satisfied, she'd managed to get Tomoyo to make her a copy of the tape so she could watch Yue-Bella in action; she beamed at Yukito-Bella as the snow rabbit-Bella tucked into another bucket of popcorn, "Enjoying yourself?"
The grey haired girl smiled, "As ever!" She blinked, "Oh . . . would you like to share?" She held her huge bucket of popcorn to Nakuru, "It's not much but . . ."
Nakuru held up her hand, "No . . . thank you . . . I'm sick of the stuff!" Nakuru chuckled at Yuki-Bella's reaction, she explained quickly, "Touya's got me working part time at the cinema too . . ." She glared past Yuki-Bella, at Touya, but her Glare-O-Death-Ruby-Moon-Stylin' was lost on him as he was making out with Yukito.
"Oh!" Yuki-Bella nodded, and smiled happily. She sighed and leant against Nakuru, brushing her cheek against the dark haired girl's shoulder, "It was very nice of you to get us all popcorn, Nakuru-chan . . ."
Nakuru was glad the lights were dimmed as she was probably glowing really red. She couldn't help it, Yuki-Bella had this really soft voice and sometimes it just got to her how much she really loved this snow rabbit-Bella . . .
"Yuki-Bella, I . . ."
The door suddenly slid open, "Gomen ni, Tomoyo-san . . ."
Tomoyo stood suddenly, and walked to the door, "Hai?"
The maid smiled, "There is a boy at the gate . . . he wants to speak with a Meilin-san?"
"That's me!" Meilin stood, glad for the distraction . . . even though Sakura was now watching the whole thing again with the sound off. Tomoyo nodded to the maid, "Let him in . . ."
A few moments later, Syaoran stood up and growled; he glared at the door as Syaotang stepped through. Sparks flew between the two as Syaotang bowed quickly to Tomoyo, "Gomen ni? I, uh . . . wanted to speak to Meilin . . ." he looked around EvilEliEriol //Or whatever his name is . . .// grinned and waved at him, the blue haired boy pulled Syaoran back to his seat. Yuki-Bella smiled, and sat up straight causing that Ruby Moon girl to scowl at him, Yuki-Bella thrusted her popcorn towards him, "Want some?"
He shook his head, as he turned his attention to the others, Spinner, The Mop Doll's identical Twin Brother and The Mop Doll were talking quietly amongst each other, arguing quietly about who was the bravest looking, that Scary Sakura girl was sighing over some clip of Meilin. He blushed as he recognised the clip, it was from the capture they were in the other night. In fact that was why he was there, Meilin had looked so beautiful that night, he was determined to tell her that he loved her.
"She's there . . . cringing behind that pillow!" Tomoyo pointed helpfully.
"Sa-Sakura-chan . . .?" Meilin sweat-dropped as Sakura rewound the tape to her favourite bit again and started to talk about how Yue, who had been that camera man that night – hence all the groovy aerial shots, and the shots showing all the high level stunts – how he had captured all the right angles to show off Meilin's features to Kawaii perfection . . . Meilin looked up at Syaotang, "Konbanwa!" She grasped his hand, "I didn't think you were coming!"
He smiled warmly, his attention solely on her. He didn't notice how Tomoyo got another call from the maid, saying something about another visitor. All he wanted to know was Meilin, he squeezed her hand, "I wanted to tell you . . ." he started quietly, "Erm. . . I mean, I'm uh . . ."
"SYAOOOOOOOOOOTANNNNNNNNGGGG!!!"
Meilin's attention was torn away just as Syaotang whispered, "I love you." He sighed, as he lost his courage to say it again louder, Meilin hadn't heard him. He sighed again, and turned to face his Idiotic-Non-Family-Member-Stupid-Girl-That-Had-Followed-Him-All-The-Way-From-America-Stupid-Girl.
"Hayaannn!" Sakura giggled as she held her pink video camera to her chest, she had heard Syaotang's confession . . . and she had taped it too!! She pulled at Tomoyo's sleeve as Syaotang and Madison got into a fierce argument. As Sakura whispered wickedly into Tomoyo's ear, which incidentally caused them both to do that evil Tomoyo laugh, "Oh hohohoho!" Syaoran sank deeper into his chair and growled louder, he too had heard the confession but wasn't as pleased to hear it as his girlfriend. Eriol leant over, "What's eating your wolf?"
"Nothing!"
"Meilin seemed pleased to see him . . . is that why you're angry?"
"No!" Syaoran snapped and stuffed another handful of popcorn into his mouth again, "And I'm not angry!"
Eriol pulled his legs under him and knelt over his armrest eagerly, "You really care about Meilin, don't you?! A little wolf and his cousin complex?"
"Bullshit!" Syaoran swore quietly, as Eriol raised a hand to cover his giggle, Syaoran went even more red in the face, "Urusei!"
Touya raised an eyebrow, as Yukito leant close to his ear and murmured, "You were just like that. . ." He thought about it, "You *are* just like that . . . you and your sister-complex!"
Touya sighed, "Urusei!" And with that he recommenced his smooching.
Yukito-Bella sighed happily again, and put her head back on Nakuru's shoulder, the snow-bunny-Bella wasn't as daft as she seemed . . . that and her brother had warned her about this . . . he'd said to watch out for when Nakuru started to say 'I . . . you . . .' on a repeated basis. Yuki-Bella was happy to lean that her feeling was returned to her by Nakuru, but knew that she would have to wait for her fellow Moon guardian to pluck up the courage to say it out aloud. She smiled, "Nakuru-chan?"
"Hai?"
"Is there any more popcorn?"
"More?!" Nakuru blinked and hauled up another box of the stuff, "Of course there is . . . I know you and your stomach . . . you're just never satisfied!" She pulled up another box, and threw it over to Spinel, she smiled at his questioning glare, "It's salted popcorn . . . so I can get you drunk later!!"
"Arigato . . . I think . . ." He rolled his eyes and went back to his conversation.
Yuki-Bella pulled open her mega box, "You're such a kind older sister . . ."
Nakuru plucked a kernel of corn out of Yuki-Bella's hand and feed it to the snow-bunny-Bella, "Oh . . . shush . . ."
A little while later . . .
"So, why exactly did Clow create that stupid Card?"
Eriol sat up to answer, when Touya called from the back, "Which one?!"
Eriol growled good naturedly, as there was quiet laughter, "I presume you mean the Trio Of Sound?"
"Hai!" Madison smirked at Meilin as she tighten her death grip on Syaotang, "Why would Clow create two Cards that deafen people and one which makes everyone deaf?"
"Not to mention have nice toasty warm ears!" Eriol pointed out, he settles back into his chair, "I remember it like it was yesterday . . . it all actually started a really long time ago . . ."
Madison growled as the strange flashback music and the slightly tacky dry ice started to swirl around their feet, "Can't we go into one of this moody-flashback-type thingys without the crappy atmosphere?"
There was a bright gold and blue flash before Keroberos and Yue leant forward and slapped her head, "NO!"
~~
"Well . . . it all started when . . ."
Clow skipped down the corridor, he was really happy. It had been two weeks and his new guardians . . . he swung his head around the first door, the golden lion was staring into the large floor length mirror again, talking away happily.
"So? Are you a guardian beast too?" He grinned dopily, "Really? I'm Keroberos!"
"Riiiiiiight . . ." Clow frowned slightly; he really had to teach Kero the difference between reality and the mirror. He shrugged, he could do that later. He started to skip again, and thought about his guardians, it had been two weeks. They'd only just woken up about a week ago, their creation having tired out Clow and them. Clow came to a stop as he swung his head around his Moon guardian's room; Yue was lying on the bed, reading quietly. "Hullo Yue!"
Yue sat up, and nodded. Clow moved in closer, while Keroberos had 'mastered' the art of speech, Yue still had a little way to go. The tall, gentle angel was very sweet and always did what he was told. Clow never had a more pleasant companion in the world, and he never needed to repeat himself either, Yue was indeed the most perfect . . .
"Yue?"
"Hai?"
"Let go of Eriol's mouth and let him tell it the way it really happened."
"But Kero, that *is* the way it really happened . . ."
"Yue!"
"Fine then, let Eriol tell it in his crappy way . . ."
Clow smiled as he settled back into his Throne Of Utter Comfy-ness. The afternoon was wonderfully warm and the mansion was full of peace and . . . Clow looked around quickly, //Strange . . .// He thought, //. . . Every time I think about the Mansion being full of peace and silence, Kero and Yue usually---//
"AWWWW! BUT KEROBEROS!!"
"SCREW YOU, MOONSHINE! I AM NOT PLAYING THE *PONCY* GIRL IN HAMLET AGAIN!"
"BUT KEROOOOOBEEEEEROOOOOSSSS!"
Clow settled back in his chair and sighed; "There we go . . ." He looked up, and shouted, "WHAT'S WRONG NOW?"
"KEROBEROS ISN'T PLAYING WITH ME!!"
"YUE WANTS TO PLAY WITH ME!!"
Clow sighed, "CAN'T YOU COME TO A COMPROMISE?"
"NO!!" The two yelled. Clow sighed as their argument started up again. If only he had some way of making them understand each other ". . . maybe some kind of body swap . . ."
Yue folded his arms and glared at Clow, Clow looked from him to Kero hopefully, "So . . . did you learn anything?"
The two guardians looked at each other, Clow had had the rather brilliant idea of creating a change Card the made people swap body. Yue looked up at his own body, as Kero looked back at him. "Are we agreed?"
"I believe so." Kero blew a lock of Yue's hair out of his eyes, and folded the angel's long, lanky arms.
Yue nodded Kero's fat little head, "No Clow . . . we didn't . . ."
"Awwww . . . crap . . ." Clow sighed, and threw the change Card on to his pile of Clow Cards . . . what else could he try?
Kero banged his head against the side of Clow's desk, as the magician gestured with his arms rather violently. "What does he want now?"
"I think he . . ." Yue cocked his head to see what Clow was trying to illustrate; "I think he created a Card . . ."
Clow nodded happily, and started on the next part of the sentence.
"And he . . . meant to use it on . . . us . . ." Yue got claps for his translation, Kero growled slightly as he motioned Yue to continue, "But he . . . no, it backfired . . . and it stole his voice . . ."
Clow beamed happily as Keroberos resumed the banging of his cranium on the hard wood desk, Yue sighed and plucked the Card out Clow's hand, it was the Voice Card. "Clow . . . Stop creating Cards that you try to use on us . . ."
"Aw . . . crap . . ." Clow sighed as he looked at the Card again, he mouthed silently, "Okay . . . but it was a good idea . . ." The powerful magician let the Card float back to it's fellow Clow Cards. He sat in his Throne Of Utter Comfy-ness, and started to muse. Behind him, his guardians started yet another argument, "So okay . . ." He mouthed to himself, "The Voice Card hadn't been entirely successful if only . . ." He frowned as the volume of his guardians' argument got even louder. He swivelled in his Throne Of Utter Comfy-ness and glared at them, "Shush!" He mouthed, but they couldn't hear him. He paused as he thought, what if he had a Card that . . .
Dun, dun, dun daaaaa . . . dun, dun, dun darrr . . . dur, dur, dur *Dunnk*.
Kero clutched his head as he scrambled under his duvet covers further. He whimpered, Yue was at it again.
Dunnk. Dunnk. Dunnk. Dinnk!
//Dinnk?!// Keroberos raised his head, //DINNK?!// That was *it* . . . *that* was the straw that broke the guardian beast's back.
"SHUT UP!!" Kero sat up in his bed and threw back his head, "FOR THE LOVE OF CLOW REED, SHUT UP!!!"
"MAKE ME!!" Yue roared back, he was downstairs in the piano room again, playing his Clow-awful piano again. He was awful at it, well, in Kero's opinion. Clow thought he was the bee's knees, but Keroberos could not stand that dreaded *Dunnk*. Yue literally sat there for hours, reeling off perfect tunes, until . . .
Dun, dun, dun, daahhhh. . . dun, dun, dun darrrrr . . . durdurdur *Dunnk*! There was a pause, before . . . Dunnk. Dunnk. Dunnk.
Keroberos pulled on his ears, //Dunnk?!// Yue would sit there, for hours, pressing the same damned key in the hope it would change. Dunnk. Dunnk. Dunnk. And then he would press it really hard, as if he wasn't pressing it hard enough, causing the even more dreaded . . .
DINNK!
Kero growled, Clow had told him to try and keep his temper while Yue was learning . . . but . . .
Dunnk.
"Okay . . ." He growled softly to himself, "It's okay . . . just count to ten . . . one . . ."
Dunnk.
"Two . . . three . . ."
Dunnk. Dunnk.
"Four, five . . . six . . ."
Dunnk. Dunnk. Dunnk.
"Seven, eightnine—"
Diiiiiiiiinnnnnkkk!!
"TEN!! YUE SHUT UP! YOU'RE CRAP, YOU'RE REALLY, REALLY BAD, GIVE IT UP OR AT LEAST GIVE THE PIANO A BREAK!!"
There was a pause as Yue flew up the stairs, he kicked the door open, "WHAT DID YOU SAY?! WHAT DID YOU---"
"SILENCE!!"
Yue and Kero jumped as Clow's voice boomed through out the mansion. "What was that?" Yue peeked out of the door, "Was that Clow?"
"YES . . . IT WAS . . ." Clow boomed again, "BETCHA DIDN'T EXPECT THAT, NOW, DID YA?!"
A few days later . . .
Yue and Kero clutched their heads, "Ooooohhh . . ."
"GOOD MORNING!!" Clow boomed as he strode into the kitchen, "HOW ARE WE ALL?"
"We're fine, Clow . . ." Yue winced, the Shout Card, which Clow had created, had gotten stuck, and so Clow was left yelling everything he said. The two guardians barely got any sleep because as they were all discovering . . . Clow talked in his sleep. At first it had been humorous, . . . "YUE! I REALLY DON'T THINK IT'S APPROPRIATE TO LICK WHIPPED CREAM OFF YOUR MASTER IN HIS STUDY NOW, DO YOU?" . . . had Kero in stitches for hours, he kept waving his cream bowl in front of Yue and saying that while it wasn't whipped, he was sure it would do . . . but now it was just getting embarrassing.
"CAN YOU PASS ME THE JAM PLEASE YUE?!"
. . . And not to mention intensely painful . . . Yue noted as he held his ringing ear. He leant over and gave Clow the pot; he whimpered quietly as Clow opened his mouth to thank him.
~~
"So basically . . . once again . . ." Meilin shook her head as Yukito offered her more popcorn, Sakura pressed the rewind button again, Meilin sighed, "Once again, Clow Reed and his best intentions strike again?"
"Basically, yes . . ."
Meilin screamed as Yue-Bella leant forward and plucked the remote from Sakura. She glanced at her brother, "How long does that go on for?"
"Oh . . ." Yue closed one eye as he figured it out, "It took approximately . . . a year?"
Yue-Bella frowned, "A year . . . I can't wait a whole year . . ." She turned around and hit Meilin on the head.
"Ouch!" Meilin swivelled in her seat and rubbed her head, "Why'd you do that?"
"Pavlov and his dog theory . . ." The Moon guardian crossed her legs and sat back, "Every time you scream at me . . . I shall bop you on the head." She held up a long pale finger, "Thereby you shall subconsciously learn that if you scream when I appear you shall get bopped on the head . . . and therefore when I appear you will think, when I scream I shall get bopped on the head . . ." She wagged the finger impressively, "And therefromeverafterward . . ." Kero-ette's eye started to twitch, Yue-Bella was starting to use her long words again, "You will know that scream at Yue-Bella means bop on head . . . and then you will think, I had better not scream because I shall get a bop on the head, and therefore you shall not scream . . . and when you don't scream, I shall not bop you on the head . . . and thereby you will think, hey because I didn't scream I didn't get bopped on the head. This wonderful thought will provide you with much pleasure, and therefore when I appear next you will think it is better not to scream because I will not get bopped on the head and therefore I shall feel very happy when the bopping of the head does not occur . . . and slowly and surely you will find that you will stop screaming at me every time I transform in."
Yue slapped his head, and tutted disgustedly, "And I didn't think of that . . ." he looked at Sakura, "I would have saved Yukito a couple of Yen in headache tablets . . . "
Sakura looked at Meilin, who looked back, they blinked and then stared at their Moon guardians, "HOOOOOOOEEE------Ouch!" The two rubbed their heads, "What was that for?"
Yue and Yue-Bella glanced at each other and nodded, "We have a new commandment to add, it's 'thou shalt not scream in thy Moon guardian's presence' . . ."
"There are commandments?!" Meilin winced, "What are they?"
Yue-Bella blinked, "Yes, there are . . . but we can't tell you . . ."
"Why not?"
Ruby, Yue and Yue-Bella pulled out some small credit Cards, "MGU regulations."
Spinel sat up, "YOU HAVE A UNION?!"
Meilin stared at the photo Cards, "MGU – The Amalgamation Of Luna Sentinels And Verdict Providing Seraphs. For The Moon, By The Guardians."
"YOU HAVE A UNION?!" Spinel, Kero and Kero-ette roared, "Why don't we have one?"
Ruby shrugged, Yue smiled patronisingly, and Yue-Bella murmured, "I dunno . . . take it up with your union leader . . ." she slipped the Card back into her wallet.
"You have a wallet?" Meilin stared at her Moon guardian, "Why do you have a wallet?"
"And where do you keep it?" Asked Yue as he slipped his Card into a carefully sewn pocket, he motioned to his robes, "I just don't have the heart to sew a pocket on the outside!"
Yue-Bella shook her head, "Oh I know . . . I keep it in my hair . . . easiest place really!"
Ruby pulled her legs into her seat and turned to face them, "I find it better just sew them all into my lapels . . . it's added weight does make them rest easily . . ."
As the three Moon guardians discussed the best ways of carrying their Guardian Express Cards, and the Sun guardians made mutinous sounds of going on strike, Meilin turned to Eriol, "What happened to cause the Scream Card?"
Eriol chuckled, "Well . . ."
"You were an idiot in your past life . . . weren't you?!" Madison butted in, "Well, thank goodness ol' Syaotang's here . . . we'd all be—"
"Shush!" Syaotang stuffed a large handful of popcorn into her mouth, "Why the Scream Card?"
Eriol nodded thankfully, "Well, what happened was as Yue and Keroberos got older, they got . . . well, louder . . ."
"Figures . . ." Syaoran grumbled, as he looked at Kero, the small guardian beast stood on the top of his seat, preaching to the other Sun guardians loudly. The little wolf looked at Touya who was glaring at the small guardian beast. The two shared a nod, and Touya dumped his box of popcorn over the tiny lion. Tomoyo chuckled lightly, and motioned for Eriol to continue.
Clow's reincarnation smiled at her, "That's basically it, I created the Voice, then the Shout, and then the Scream . . . and three ways of just getting them to shut up . . ."
Meilin pulled out the third Card she had caught that night, "The Earmuff Card was for?"
Eriol laughed as he pulled the Card from her fingers, he looked at Yue, "Do you . . .?"
"Yes . . . very clearly . . ." He folded his arms, "Clow basically gave up trying to get us to shut it . . . so he created the Earmuff Card because it was the first thing that occurred to him . . ."
"I don't know how you do things here . . ." Syaotang swivelled in his chair to look at the Moon guardians, "But uh, in America, we uh, like to have things make . . . oh, what's the word? Uh, sense. A logical explanation, a psychologically sound reason why, you know . . . that good old 'because of A and B, C was created' . . ." he rested his chin in his hand, "The kind of logic that makes two plus two equal four . . . that mean anything to you?"
Yue-Bella nodded, "Of course it does . . ." she leant forward, "Everything Clow did had a perfectly sound psychological reason . . . Clow Reed was an idiot. A moron. A prat. A plonker. A complete and utter Baka . . . the man didn't know left from right, all the stories about him being the most intelligent man in the universe is complete bollocks, lies spread by the Reeds and the Li's so they didn't have to pay any compensation." Eriol lost his smile and looked at her, she raised an eyebrow before commenting dryly, "Of course, what he lacked in brain, he made up with heart . . ." Eriol's lip began to quiver, she sighed and rolled her eyes, ". . . And in his reincarnations, pure sadistic *inexplicable* evil."
Eriol smiled brightly as Yue turned to Meilin, "The Earmuff Card was just Clow's first attempt to create the Silent Card . . ."
~~
"Clow? . . .Clow!! . . .CLOW!!!"
Yue waved in front of his new master, sure he was only two months old, his wings were still moulting, and, much to his disgust, he realised that the gangly, culturally inept lion was actually his brother. Yue rolled his eyes and stomped around the side of his deaf master's chair, "Clooooooooooooooooow!!" He balled his fists and whined, it usually got Clow's attention but not this time . . .
The magician smiled as turned the page of Alice's Wonderland, and sighed happily.
"Cloooooow!!" Yue shuffled from one foot to the other and then back again, "Clow!!"
Keroberos padded into the room, nudging a large bowl in front of him, "Yuuuuueeee!!" He whined, "I'm hungry!!"
"I knooooow but I need the keys to the kitchen . . ." Yue whined, he stamped his feet pathetically, "And Clow won't answer me!"
The two blinked at each other and turned their attention on the hearing-impaired master. "CLOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!"
Clow chuckled, "MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER IS THE CHESHIRE CAT . . . HE'S SOOOOO FUNNY!!"
Keroberos and Yue winced as Clow started to shout randomly to himself, they looked at each other, Yue nodded, "He's done it again!"
Keroberos nodded, and moved around the front, "Clow?"
The magician smiled as he flicked over another page, he grinned, as he appeared to think of something, "MENTAL NOTE!! TREAT THE FUTURE KEEPER OF MY CARDS TO A TRIP TO ALICE'S WONDERLAND . . ."
Keroberos looked up at his brother, the winged humanoid folded his arms, "I'm hungry, Yue!"
Yue nodded, "I know, Kero . . ." He sighed, and looked at Clow, "There's only one thing left to do . . ."
Clow looked up from his book as he felt his Throne Of Utter Comfy-ness being assaulted, he looked at Keroberos who grinned. Eyes widened in concern as Clow realised that that meant Yue was . . .
"YOU'RE KICKING MY CHAIR!!" Clow yelped as he jumped to his feet and pulled his precious Throne Of Utter Comfy-ness from the brutal harshness that was Yue. "HOW COULD YOU?!"
Yue and Keroberos sweat dropped as Clow dropped to his knees and started to comfort his Throne Of Utter Comfy-ness with loud resounding kisses, "Oh, it's okay . . . My darling Throne Of Utter Comfy-ness, don't worry . . . let me make it allll better . . ."
"Kero . . ."
". . .Yue. . ."
"We . . . were created . . . by that man . . ."
"Yes, Yue . . ."
"But . . ." Yue's eyes watered, he glanced down at his brother, who had also began to cry, ". . . That man's a complete moron . . ."
~~
"Arigato!!" Meilin threw her arms around Tomoyo, as they group started to leave. Touya and the Moon guardians had already left; the Sun guardians had fluttered off still grumbling about striking and mutinies. Eriol and Syaoran had just departed, since both had early mornings, and only Syaotang, Madison, Sakura and Meilin remained. Sakura happily videotaped Meilin as the girl happily said goodbye to them.
Madison coughed loudly, as they waited, hinting not too subtly that she wanted to get home. Syaotang rolled his eyes and looked at Sakura, "Don't you ever stop?"
"Stop what?"
"Taping Meilin?"
"Not really . . . although I did stop filming her when she was sleeping . . . Syaoran said he wasn't prepare to sit up all night just to tape Meilin sleeping for me . . ." He eyed her strangely, as she pulled him away slightly, "I think you should tell her!"
"Tell her what?"
"That you love her!"
"I . . . wha. . . tha. . . I . . .bu. . ." Sakura beamed happily as Syaotang made funny little noises at the back of his throat.
She shook her head, "If you're going to be like Syaoran was, and Meilin's turning into me . . . then . . ." She paused, and then shook her head, "Nope . . . I can't wait that long! MEILIN-CHAN!!"
Syaotang's eyes widened impossibly, "What are you doing?!" He whispered urgently.
"I'm going to tell her for you!" Sakura beamed, "Meilin!"
Meilin jogged over, "Hai?"
Sakura smiled, "Syaotang lov—"
"Loves your hair!" Meilin blinked as Syaotang waved his hands frantically.
"Que?" She said, truly confused by his odd behaviour, as he grabbed her arm, "Nani?"
"Iie!" He breathed quickly, "Come on! It's late, very late!! Let's go!"
"Hey!" Madison came up and tugged at Syaotang's arm, "What are you doing with my boyfriend?!"
Tomoyo smiled and lifted her camera as she filmed Sakura as Sakura sighed happily as Madison and Syaotang argued and Meilin looked very dazed and very confused . . .
-----------------------------------
And now it's time for Leave It To Kero-ette!
Kero-ete: Wai!! Didn't you think I was very, very brave in that capture . . . it's a pity you weren't there during the real thing, you would have been truly amazed by my courage! But don't worry, don't worry, I'll make it up for you now in the powerful new instalment of leave it to me! It'll be all right, come on, let's go, I'll show you my courage and bring you the best!!
[Presses face against screen] Kero-ette-chan check!! Yea!!
Meilin's battle costume today is personally my favourite, but I say that all the time!! But it's true!! The Magic Girl is so clever, and she tried her hardest!! The costume had a nice metallic sheen to it, and it was in deep metal red, Meilin's faves all over the place!! And look here! Meilin's goggles were in the right place to provide Meilin with that special look! Today's most important feature was Meilin's boots, they reached all the way up to her thigh and still were able to provide her with skates, making her the fastest Cardcaptor in the town! Those Cards didn't stand a chance again our number one!! go Meilin!! Capture that Card!
[Sits behind low table, on pillow, and sips at cocktail] So how was it? Did dipping into the past to find out why Clow made those Cards fill you with wonderment? The memories are so sweet, but Yue's piano playing is terrible!! Remember to zutto, zutto, zutto, always, always, always try your hardest, and everything will be zutto, zutto, zutto, always, always, always okay!! Anyway, please R&R and come back for the next thrilling part of Whoops, Didn't Mean To Do That!
[Waves] Hon na na!!
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Preview
Meilin: What a boring day! Huh? Carho's our teacher now? Oh, that's okay . . . but still I'm so bored, even Sakura's sleeping on her des--- HOOOOEEEE!! Sakura-chan, where did you go?! I'll find you, Sakura-chan!! Why's Kero-ette-chan crying? What's this about this new Whoops Card being all Yue's fault?! Grrrr!! I'll catch you this time Card, for sure, for sure, FOR SURE!!
Meilin, Sakura and a Very Naughty Gho—HOOOOOEEEEE!!!
Next time on 'Whoops! Didn't Mean To Do That!' Come with me, Cardcaptor Meilin!
Release!
[Cue senselessly dramatic ending music!]