Since he wanted to avoid anyone from work, Angel avoided his usual haunts and just drove aimlessly trying to calm his thoughts, winding up at the old building in front of his without giving it any thought. He sighed, shutting the engine off and stepping out. Even though he had a key to the old studio, he opted for using the magical skeleton key Buffy had given him to enter the building.

For the longest time he just sat stared at all the different pieces in various stages of completion. Shaking his head, he couldn't believe that he hadn't put the two together before, that he had willingly let her walk into this place, see all this without any sort of explanation, not that he had much of explanation for any of it now, but at least she wouldn't have been walking in blind.

Flipping through one of his sketchbooks there was no question in his mind that she was right, that the face that belonged on all these images were hers. Grabbing one of the pink erasers, he went to work erasing the parts of the image where her face was nothing but a shaded blur.

It didn't take long before the lines and markings began to take shape, to come to life before him and before he knew it there she was, those sea green eyes smiling back at him. He wasn't sure which was worse, her faceless image haunting him, or those bright eyes staring back at him. Who was he kidding, no matter what happened, no matter how much it cut him up, there wasn't a second spent with her that he regretted. Sure his life would be a hell of a lot simpler without her ever having bippity boppity boo'd her way into it, but he was quickly learning that she was what made his life worth living in the first damn place.

It wasn't love, he couldn't love someone he hardly even knew, but he felt something for that girl that he had never fucking experienced. It transcended lust, or simple need, he wanted her physically of course, but more than that he just wanted her. He wanted to see the way she smiled first thing in the morning, wanted to know if she snored once she slipped off into a deep sleep late at night, he wanted to hear her laugh, every day, the way she laughed when they were painting the other night.

He wanted to meet her friends, see where she lived, but more than anything he wanted to know what it was like to fall asleep with her safely in his arms, tucked against his side, he wanted to know what the possibility of forever felt like, with her.

OoOoO

Before he knew it, hours had passed and he'd gone through not only his sketchbook, but a couple of his charcoal drawings as well. No longer were they lifeless, mysterious drawings of a person unknown, now they were her, all her, standing, sitting, seducing, taunting. The light had long since stopped flickering through the window blinds, if he had to guess he was pretty sure it was edging towards midnight though in all honesty it wouldn't really surprise him if it was later.

The old antique mirror he kept off in the corner caught his attention, running a hand through his hair, he let out a shaky breath. He looked like shit, black smears were smudged across his cheek, his shirt, his fingers and hands. If anyone were to see him like this they would probably think he'd gone crazy, but the truth was, for the first time in a long time he felt like he was finally starting to see things clearly. See them for what they really were, rather than what he thought they were supposed to be.

Deciding it was too late and he was too exhausted to drive all the way back to his place tonight, he pulled one of the old blankets and pillows he kept stashed away out the bottom of one the trunks he had off in the corner. Used to, before she came into his life, before he gave all this up, it wasn't unusual for him to work so late his eyes would start to cross so badly he'd have no choice but to crash here.

Lying on the old chaise lounger, he couldn't help but feel a tiny sense of peace being back here. Hardly under the best of circumstances, but sometimes it took that desperation to drive him forward. He smirked, she may have been all he managed to create again, but even that wasn't new. Once again she had succeeded in bringing a piece of him back that had long thought lost. As the last bits of consciousness left him, and he drifted off to that place in between he would have almost sworn he felt the softest touch of her lips on his cheek. Assuming he was just imagining things, the exhaustion taking its toll, he pulled the blanket up a bit higher as he fully drifted off.

OoOoO

Sensing his desperation, she couldn't help popping into check on him one last time, though she had tried to make sure that he was sleeping before she did so. She wasn't quite sure how she felt finding him back in the studio, but as she'd tiptoed around she still found herself utterly amazed with his level of talent. A few of the portraits were even transporting her back to this morning and how she felt all wrapped up beneath him, though she tried her best not to dwell on those too much.

Sitting back in her own bed she tried to make a list of who the top contenders were for this next date of his, they had tossed around a few possibilities last week but now she just wasn't sure. She loved her job, she loved everything about what she did, the thrill of those first meetings, the rush of witnessing the first kiss, the first embrace, it excited her, gave her a sense of purpose and belonging to set all these humans on their paths to their very own happily ever after. It was literally what she lived for and yet no matter how hard she tried, all she seemed to feel every time she looked at the stupidest list in front of her was sadness.

Just glancing at the list of names they had compiled, she could easily name a dozen reasons why each of them would never work, could never be his soul mate. There was nothing wrong with them exactly, but she knew Angel, albeit a little too well, and she just knew he would go through the motions sure, but ultimately it would just be some sort of facade to appease her, even if she had taken their friend dates off the table.

Tossing her notebook to the side, she rubbed her tired eyes with the palms of her hands, she was spent. It was obvious she had figured out and sorted as much of this mess as she could possibly do today, maybe after some rest she could look at it all with a fresh pair of eyes.

OoOoO

Feeling the bed dip beside her, she giggled as strong arms came to rest on either side of her head. Everything around them faded, almost as if she couldn't quite focus on anything, well except for him of course.

His soft lips guided across her own, "Is this a dream?" she whispered barely loud enough for him to hear.

She felt his shoulders shrug, "Probably."

Angel's eyes met hers and she gasped as his lips fell to hers once more, her eyes closing in what seemed like slow motion, and one of those whimpering moans falling from her not long after. "W-we can't be doing this," she whispered, even as her fingertips made their way under the backside of his shirt, pulling him down, her body arching just the tiniest bit to get closer to him.

As wrong as it was, she couldn't seem to stop herself. Today had been nothing short of torture. She had been worried about her entire fate, his, and she had missed him countless times throughout the day, she'd gotten lost time and time again as her thoughts would drift back to this morning in his bed...

Ignoring her concerns, one of Angel's hands made their way down her body, coming to rest at her hip while his lips deepened the kiss, his free hand tangling in her hair at the top of her head, taking the opportunity her latest little sound gave to slip his tongue inside her mouth, just like before. Shivering slightly, she tried to just relax rather than just worry she was making some giant fool of herself with not knowing what she was doing, letting herself enjoy what he was doing and how it made her feel for just a bit longer.

"Angel?" He mumbled some sort of acknowledgement as they broke apart and his mouth fell to the soft skin of her neck, suckling and nipping at her. "We h-have to stop," she told him, even as her fingernails scratched lightly at his flesh.

His head lifted after another moment, staring down at her. "Why? Do your bosses peek around in your dreams as well?"

Her shoulders shrugged sheepishly. "I don't know. I mean, I would doubt it but... I guess I don't really know for sure..."

His head shook a little. "Are you sure these Powers That Be are really who you should be tangled up in? Sorry, but the more I hear about people vanishing and mind wipes and peeping Tom's... it's a little concerning."

Buffy rolled her eyes as he fell a bit to the side, his arms wrapping around her, holding her close, "I don't have all of the answers but they're not evil, Angel."

"Could've fooled me," he mumbled.

Buffy tried to explain to him that this sort of magic was protected, its place in the universe, and how she knew first hand that it couldn't be that they were on the wrong side of things because of what she'd witnessed with her own eyes... but she wasn't so sure he was even listening with his attention seeming to be elsewhere.

She, too, found it difficult to keep her thoughts together, hyper aware of every little movement he made, where his hands roamed, her mind getting fuzzier every single time she felt his lips on her.

"No offense to your favorite pair of pjs or anything, but I think I prefer you in this."

Buffy glanced down at his hands slipping just under the bottom of her camisole on either side, and over the very top of her stretch black shorts, holding her in place. "Why?" she asked, confused. She liked the matching sets with all of their cute designs on them. When her eyes met his, it dawned on her though what he was getting at and she blushed. "Oh."

"For someone who has been around for as long as you have, you still manage to be utterly fucking innocent and it kills me," he whispered down to her.

OoOoO

"I'm going to have an awful time dealing with you tomorrow if you don't stop that," Buffy told herself as much as him as Angel placed open mouthed kisses across her stomach where he'd folded up her shirt. She squirmed as his lips fell over her belly button, his warm tongue dipping inside for just a moment.

"I can't help that I want you," he told her, tugging her back down before gliding back up her body until they were face to face once more.

"Well, I do suggest you figure something out about that."

"Yeah? And what exactly do you have planned to stop your feelings brewing in there?"

"Pretending like none of this happened and focusing on doing my job?" She just hoped that would be as easy to repeat over and over to herself as it was to actually make it come to be once she was out of the safe little bubble of the dream world.

"Yeah, good luck with that," he teased just as his lips sought hers for another tasting. "I missed you too much today."

OoOoO

Buffy nearly jumped as her alarm blasted beside her, effectively bringing her back to the real world. Her body was still tingling from her far too realistic dream, her lungs going through the motions of trying to collect air into them as if everything had really been happening.

She was feeling a lot less confident in the day ahead by the second.

Forcing herself out of bed, eyes widening as her reflection met her when she stood up, shaking her head as she turned away to find something to throw on and hopefully have a miracle happen between now and seeing Angel that would turn this job into all the ones like it before.

OoOoO

Angel groaned loudly as reality slipped back in, images of Buffy suddenly gone, and he found himself back in the drafty studio.

Rubbing his eyes, he winced, realizing he was still a mess and needed to get home to take a shower, or two, before work... but he also had a meeting with Buffy to keep... but his phone and change of clothes and everything he needed to start his day were back across town... Going round and round in his mind, ten more minutes passed before he even managed to sit up.

Dragging his feet, he managed to lock back up, head to the car and start back toward his apartment, hoping he could get through this day without some new, giant disaster.

OoOoO

When he didn't show, Buffy waited a few more minutes before walking off to the bathroom for some privacy before popping herself up to his apartment, her heart racing as she found him half dressed in front of his bed.

His head turned for a moment as he slipped a shirt on and started buttoning it up. "I know, sorry, I'm running all sorts of late this morning," he told her before she could get her mouth to do anything but hang open.

Forcing herself to look away, she found a book on his shelf to find interesting enough to stare at instead and cleared her throat. "That's fine, I was just checking in on you... especially since one of your potential dates already came and left."

He made a noise about that, then surprised her by asking if this so-called soulmate person had to be located in Sunnydale.

Despite knowing better, she turned back to face him. "N-no? Was there somewhere in particular you were thinking about looking?" She cursed inwardly as her heart sank a little at the hopeful tone in his voice.

His eyes settled on hers through the mirror, she could pretend all she wanted, he saw that flash of sadness cross her face. "I was just thinking about getting away for a little while, I've got some vacation days saved up," he shrugged, "Figured I might as well take advantage of 'em."

She worked her lip between her teeth. She'd definitely had some success in the area in times past, sometimes getting her charges away from the everyday hustle and bustle of their lives was all it took to get them to open their eyes and see what was in front of them. Problem was, she wasn't so sure it was the job he needed getting away from. "Where'd you have mind," she asked softly, watching him loop his tie her mind flashed back to the dream she'd had and how it felt pulling that exact one off him.

His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, he watched her cheeks flush, and it was almost as if he could read her mind. He was used to the dreams, at least he used to be use to them, however this time it wasn't some faceless ghost torturing him, it was her and for just a split second he wondered if it had really been a dream at all. "Uhh," he stuttered, reality seeming to slam back into him. "You tell me, you're the one that's traveled the world and seen all there was to see. Where's your favorite place?"

"Africa," she answered without even thinking.

His eyes widened a bit, then he just shook his head, girl definitely had a habit of keeping him on his toes. "Africa huh?"

She watched his face scrunch up and she nodded, taking a couple steps closer to him. "Victoria Falls is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, and I know you've probably see a lion or an elephant in a zoo or whatever, but there's definitely something to be said about seeing an animal like that in its natural habitat." Pausing, she noticed that part of his shirt was bunched out above his belt, then, without even realizing what she was doing she reached out, her fingertips barely slipping into the waistband of his trousers she smoothed the fabric down.

Angel felt it, the instant she realized her mistake, she froze for a second, then almost immediately went to back away, every muscle within him tensed but he let her step back. The last fucking thing he wanted was for her to pull a disappearing act on him again, he couldn't handle another day like that. He cleared his throat, "Africa it is."

"What?" she laughed, "Angel you can't just up and take off to Africa."

"Why can't I? What, do your powers have rules about that too?"

She rolled her eyes, "Well no, but I mean it's Africa. As in on the other side of the world, most people spend years planning this kind of trip."

Sitting on the bed he leaned over to lace his shoes, he knew she was right, but at this point he wasn't sure what he had to lose. She would be there, and she'd obviously been before, he was fairly certain they were capable of winging it. "I'll look for us a hotel at lunch, book our flights, we could probably fly out as soon as the weekend."

We, us, our, the words reverberated through her head. "Angel, I-I don't need a flight," she tried to remind him, "I can just meet you there, I mean if you're really set on doing this, then once you get-."

"Come on," he groaned, cutting her off. "The flight alone has to be what fifteen, twenty hours? You're really going to make me travel all the way there alone?"

She huffed, he was playing dirty and they both knew it, she could totally see him trying to fight back that grin. She'd really walked right into this one, it was true she'd never actually been on an airplane before, and she had to admit the fangled flying machines had peaked her interest on more than one occasion, but she shook her head again, "It's too expensive."

Angel smirked, she was starting to crack, "I've got miles," he argued. He really wished he knew how long the flight was, not that he really cared, he just wanted to be able to calculate the hours he'd be guaranteed beside her. She couldn't exactly go poofing from a plane, surely that would raise more than a few brows. "Please."

Her eyes fell shut and she let out a long breath, once again ignoring every sane bone in her body she felt herself nodding, "Fine." She opened her eyes to see one of those rare smiles she loved so much taking over his face. "But," she added, "I am there to work."

OoOoO

He was on cloud nine, the clock was literally ticking, and he had so much to figure out and get settled it should be making his head spin, but he didn't care, he was just glad he'd gotten her to agree. He hadn't even planned it honestly, not really anyway, but when she was standing there so close and yet so fucking far away he had to think of something, he had to try something. There had to be a way that he could convince her to give them a chance, to get her to stop looking at every woman that crossed his path and take a freaking glance in the mirror.

Hopefully this little spur of the moment adventure would give him at least a little head way. She kept repeating that it was nothing more than part of her job, and he'd let her rattle on about all the different places he could possibly bump into his soul mate or whatever, but he had one goal in mind when it came to the trip and she was the only woman it involved.

She had been right about one thing, the tickets were outrageous, especially since he'd splurged and upgraded them to first class, there was no way he was flying nearly twenty-one hours in coach. He'd known from one of their previous Iate night conversations that one of her perks of the job was obtaining whatever type of identification she may need, so when he'd got the tickets he did what anyone might do in his situation and just used his last name for the both of them. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world for the flight staff to think they were a couple, though he was pretty sure she wasn't going to see the humor in the situation.

It was the hotel situation he was having trouble with, there were so many options he wasn't sure what to choose. They could rent a bungalow in the jungle, stay at a small resort close to the falls, there were even some luxury tree houses over looking the Zambezi. He knew that he was starting to get ahead of himself, it was one thing to convince her to go with him, or share a plane ride together even, but it was another to think she would actually stay there the entire time with him, let alone in the same room for the trip. He sighed, thinking he could always tell her he booked one room given he knew she could pop in and out as she pleased, and could explain that to her when she got all huffy about it, but that didn't exactly help things either.

He'd already put in his notice for the upcoming time off and got part of it planned out so at least there was a start and that had to count for something. Deciding to take a break from looking at the different resort options, he thought he should do some research on the area itself, beyond just the tourist attractions he wanted to experience with the beautiful blonde, to try and get familiar with what he was getting himself into.

He'd only left the country once and that was years ago now.

OoOoO

The day surprisingly seemed to fly by, though once word started getting around about his trip it was a little hard to explain to those closest to him that he was all of a sudden taking time off to go flying across the country and to answer the boys' prying questions without giving away too much at the same time. He felt more excited though than he had in a long time and was practically bubbling over by the time he was back in Buffy's presence.

Sliding his phone over to her as he swung around to the other side of the booth, she barely glanced up from her notebook at first, then her eyebrows scrunched up and she reached for the device. "You're serious?" He nodded and she shook her head, looking more closely at his mobile copy of the tickets and travel documents he'd been sent earlier. "What's with the name?"

He tried not to smile as he shrugged his shoulders, thankful for the brief interruption from the waitress taking his drink order. "I had to put something down," he told her as the young blonde girl walked off again.

"And that's what you came up with?"

"It's not a bad name."

"Buffy Lynn Angelus?" she read off out loud. "Totally not my middle nor my last name there, pal."

"Hey, well you've yet to tell me either so I had to improvise. I think you'll live."

Rolling her eyes, she scanned down the rest of the long email and started writing a few quick notes down on a fresh sheet of paper from her notebook. "Well, I can always pretend to be your sister," she offered.

Angel couldn't help the smirk that spread over his face at that idea. No one in their right mind would jump to that conclusion he was sure of. "Not quite what I was going for there."

OoOoO

"So, what were you doing the last time you were in Africa?"

"What do you think I was doing?"

"Well, obviously, you were being a guide to some wisher... but I don't know. What all did you do and see? What did you like, not like? What did the person wish for, did the wish get fulfilled?" he rambled on.

"That tall blonde who just came in with two of her friends... what do you think about her?"

Angel sighed, glancing over toward the door. "I don't know." 'She's not you,' he added silently.

Buffy seemed to stare at her for several more moments before looking back to him. "If you really want to know about my time there then fine, but I'm not going to tell you all sorts of details about the job."

"Why not? Is there some sort of wisher and guide confidentiality clause?"

"Did you even read all of your contract when you signed it?"

"No one reads fine prints after awhile, Buffy."

She sighed. "Fine. I can't tell you anything specific but yes there was a job, my charge was a middle aged woman, and yes her wish was able to come true by the end of our time together."

"What did she wish for?"

Buffy gave him an annoyed look. "Would you want me to go around telling others what you wished for once this is over?"

"I don't see why not. You can talk about me to whoever you want," he said with another smile her way. "Besides, I'm still not going to be able to pinpoint this woman just because you go and tell me what her wish was."

"All the same..." She looked back over her shoulder to where the trio had been placed at a table not too far from where they were.

"You know we're leaving the country right?"

"Yeah, well, you have plenty of time to meet your match between now and then, and more than likely, I see you returning to good ol' California sooner or later, too."

ButImBroken:

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