Buffy had about been mowed over by him as she stepped out of the little bedroom, his hands had easily caught her however, keeping her balanced before bringing her closer to him. Everything in her hands fell easily to the ground as she replaced them with him, her hands sliding up his arms as he lifted her into the air, legs circling around his waist before he had her pinned to the wall.

Buffy's fingertips cradled the side of his face gently as his lips met hers, now for the countless time. That little bubble of panic remained but, boy, was she getting better at ignoring it these past couple of days.

All the hard work she'd put into trying to get her breathing and heart rate back to normal went right back out the window, already breathless from him all over again before she knew it. Angel pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes for a moment. "I know that I'm not worth risking your entire life for, everything you've ever known and all of that. I know that it's selfish as fucking hell on my part to still pray several times a damn day for it anyway," he whispered.

"Angel..." she tried but he shook his head.

"I don't need the speech, or some list of reasons why that's the wrong thing to say. I can only pretend so much and that really is all it is when I'm not around you. I know that I've been pressing my luck with this whole entire trip, even the damn idea of it let alone how these past couple of days have been going, but I can't help but want to let this run as far as you will let it, I can't help but to want to tell you how right all of this feels."

Buffy was quiet for a moment before her eyes lowered to the middle of his chest. "And what if all these lusty feelings or whatever you have... what if that's all it is? Chasing after something just because you're being told you can't have it?" she voiced one of her endless concerns about everything that happened to be involving this man. "What if you lose out on something real, Angel? Because of me, because of that?"

His head shook again. "Whatever this is between you and I? That's real. I don't know, maybe there's some timeline, some train of events, or whatever that could easily give me some other life but I am not worried about any of that. From the day I even met you it was almost some instant feeling inside of me that said, that screamed, her. That's her. That's some missing puzzle piece to your whole existence and it's just been proven more true time and time again. I'm not by any means some perfect person, maybe an alright one," he said with a chuckle. "I'm not terrible at least. I'm not worth all of those worries in your head, but I want to be."

Angel cleared his throat as her eyes raised to meet his again. "I want you in the most obvious of ways, anyone can see that... but believe me it goes well beyond that to the simplest, purest ones, to feeling like I am up in the clouds when I know you are happy or that you're having a good time, truly enjoying yourself. More than anything I just want to be able to let you experience that as much as possible, to feel happy and... and safe. Free. I want you to know you deserve your own bit of happiness and to feel like you belong, here, on this earth, to someone," his voice lowered slightly. "To me."

For the countless time, she wondered if he had this super power over all women, or if it only worked for her. Regardless she was pretty sure there wasn't much she wouldn't risk losing to call this man hers. Her life, her work, her existence, all of it seemed to matter a whole lot less when she thought about even trying to go on living without him being a part of it. "I don't know if I can promise you forever Angel, I don't know what will happen once they find out."

He leaned his forehead down to rest against her own, his lips just a soft breath above her swollen pout. "We can worry about forever later, right now I just need you to promise me today, tomorrow, this week…" He trailed off, "However long we can get until we're forced to figure the rest out."

He could almost see the emotions swirling around her green orbs, without thinking his grip around her tightened just a bit, silently begging her to give them a chance. "I won't hurt you Buffy, and for as long as you'll allow it I promise I'll do everything in my power to make sure no one else does either."

Tears filled her eyes, never in her life had she ever felt more conflicted. She felt like she was standing on the edge of some precipice and she knew that as soon as she let go there wouldn't be any coming back. But they couldn't keep up with the way things were now either, this back and forth game wasn't working anymore. Angel had made it clear it had no interest in anyone else, and she wasn't quite so sure she could just sit by while he went off and about with some other woman now anyway. She craved him in a way she hadn't even known was possible, in a way that extended beyond physical, though she was in pretty deep on that front too.

Arching up she closed the distance between them, touching her lips to his. She could feel the tension leaving him as he deepened the kiss, realizing just what it meant.

OoOoO

She pushed the plate full of different sample size deserts closer to him, "If I eat another bite I may explode."

Wrapping his arm around her, he pulled her closer to his side. Breakfast or brunch as Buffy would insist, did not disappoint, though after their little talk earlier it took all he had to pull himself away from her long enough to come down here. He still couldn't believe she'd agreed, that they were really doing this, that they were actually giving themselves some time to see just what whatever this was between them could be. As far as he was concerned this was it, she was his happily ever after, and he planned on spending every second of this little trip trying to make sure she felt the same.

Grabbing the last strawberry on the plate he dipped into the small bowl of sugar before popping it in her mouth. She whined his name as she tried to chew the fruit, "No more."

Grinning, he waited for her to finish eating before capturing her lips under the guise of getting the remaining sugar of her mouth. He was the luckiest man on the planet, that he was sure of. "What did you want to do for the rest of the day," he asked a bit breathless once they'd finally pulled apart. Thankfully the staff seemed to be rather used to such displays since they mostly seemed to cater to couples, not that he cared, he planned to savor every second now that she wasn't hesitating or pulling back at his touch.

"You mean besides that?" she teased.

Already feeling himself stirring back to life, he leaned in closer, "Careful what you wish for there, Beautiful."

OoOoO

She must have mentioned seeing the elephants more than once because after they left the restaurant Angel insisted on climbing some of the look out spots until they were able to spot some wandering about the sanctuary. They had a whole excursion booked for later in the week to go feed and bath some of the calves who had been orphaned due to poaching, but his insistence was still sweet.

Despite her profession she really hadn't the slightest clue how to go about this whole dating business. But everytime she would start to feel those familiar doubts swirling he would grab her hand or wrap his arms around her and whisper sweet things reminding her all over again how perfect he truly was. Even though she still felt an insurmountable amount of guilt over what he may be missing out on, having him close like this made it all that much easier to ignore.

Plus she had to admit that she was finding teasing him in this brand new way was more than a little entertaining. He had this way of making her feel like no one else existed besides her and she never wanted that to go away. She went to turn to see if she could spot anything from the other side of the large rocks they had climbed up when she felt his massive frame encircle her, pulling her flush against him. They had definitely advanced from the shy kisses she'd grown so accustomed to, something between them seemed to have shifted after this morning, leaving neither of them interested in holding much back.

Her finger trailed down the soft material of the t-shirt he'd thrown on this morning coming to a stop only when they met the elastic of his shorts. She wasn't sure where all this courage was coming from but the next thing she knew she felt her hand drifting lower as though it had a mind all of its own. Gently she traced the outline of his rigid length through the silky fabric, it must have come of a shock to him because for the briefest second he broke away with a small gasp. Whispering his name, she nibbled at his lips one more time.

"Hmm?"

Working her lip between her teeth, she forced herself to say the words she'd been thinking ever since the plane ride. "I want..." she blushed, pausing for a second knowing that once she said what she wanted to say there would be no going back.

"You want what?" he asked, his voice far huskier than he'd intended.

She swallowed hard before meeting his eyes again, "I want to know how it feels to touch you."

His pulse quickened, it wasn't often that he found himself speechless, and honestly he wasn't sure it had ever been caused by a woman before, though he couldn't say he was surprised. "Buffy," he whispered, softly nuzzling his nose alongside hers, "Are you sure?"

He was one hundred percent positive that there was nothing he wanted more in his entire life, but he didn't want to pressure her into anything, and he damn sure didn't want her waking up with any regrets or excuses to end this before it really got started.

Buffy was fairly certain that he had to be able to hear how hard her heart was racing, trying to beat its way out of her damn chest right about now. There was something quite liberating about this whole ordeal, after fighting all of this for what felt like ages, after fighting against her own damn self when it came to this damn man... to give in... it felt like she was floating up in the clouds, like she had found one amazing sense of peace already just to have said she wanted this, wanted him, and having explored bits of it, it felt like that she had, for the first time, found even herself. That quote about once you realize what you want forever, you want it all to start right then had never made more sense than it had after this morning. She wanted him, to really let herself feel what she had been trying to deny since the moment she laid eyes on him, to explore things she had never in her long existence never even cared about before he came along.

The world felt like it had opened up for her the moment she gave in to all of this. And while those same worries did remain in the back of her mind about the what ifs of these choices, a huge shift happened there as well, it no longer felt like something to be terrified of or to cower from... but more like it was a worry but also a driving force that she had no idea how long they would have together or what might even happen, and instead of that pushing her away anymore... it made her want to have as they could manage to squeeze in together between now and that point where she would have to answer for how things went sideways on this job.

Buffy pushed herself a bit closer to him as her head barely managed to nod.

OoOoO

Angel had found himself only more stunned by Buffy from that point on, his eyes fluttering shut as she continued to explore, and then opening comically wide when she dared to follow through with her request... which, again, shouldn't have been so surprising, but it was the fact she took no issue with doing so right then and there. He strangled out some sort of noise just as he realized what she was doing, her warm fingertips slipping between his body and the front of his boxers until she reached her destination.

For just a moment, she pulled back as if he had burned her, but it passed just as quickly... her teeth caught that same bit of flesh from her bottom lip again as she teased, her fingers would lightly hold him, or stroke him, she would slide just a finger against his length, testing him out one way after the next.

Breathing heavier once she easily grew more comfortable with her actions, she stood up on her tip toes and whispered her desire to also see him. His body shook slightly as he let out a large breath and explained that if they might need to be a little less out in the open like this for any clothes to start being tossed to the wayside. Not that had she objected he wouldn't have happily ripped his shorts off and let her do whatever in the hell she wanted... but what little logical part of his brain that still had any function in it thought they might be asking for trouble here.

Buffy's face tinted red, also remembering where they were in that moment.

OoOoO

Once they were back behind closed doors, they'd easily continued right back to their play, lifting her back into his arms, her legs circling around his waist, arms around his neck as he pinned her against the heavy door and despite the number of women he had been with in his lifetime, Angel still found himself a tad nervous when it came to her.

"Keep in mind I have no idea at all what I am doing," Buffy had whispered at one point and he couldn't help but smile at her mirrored nervousness and worries. But what she didn't know was literally anything she did in his eyes was exactly the right thing, or how much his pride soared when her fingers tugged at his shirt, helping remove it from his body and toss it back behind him blindly, and how he ate up how her eyes wandered over his bare skin, drinking all of him in without shutting down as soon as it began. She didn't know exactly how fucking adorable she was when she would rest her palms against his chest, or hesitantly rake her fingernails gently down his stomach, or do just about anything and then would pause to flick her eyes up to meet his as if she was checking to make sure it was okay.

He growled when she reached for his manhood again, nearly making her jump before she quietly reminded him of her wants.

OoOoO

Between whispering she wanted to see him, all of him, again and the point where they had made it over to the large sofa and she curled up beside him were kind of a blur, his fingertips tangled up in her hair as his tongue teased hers and her hand returned to the warmth of his lap.

Buffy had a pretty clinical understanding of human bodies and how they worked but that did next to nothing to prepare her for a situation like this. Hell, she had seen a couple men - not intending to - in brief flashes in her time or there were always bits and pieces from movies or television shows she may have caught as well but to actually be living something like that was completely different than anything she could have imagined. And as his free hand covered hers and helped her free him from the confines of his shorts and boxers, Buffy's eyes couldn't seem to stop staring at the angry looking flesh before her.

His hand drifted back away and all of a sudden she had an urge to pull away from him as well, her face burning as she wondered just what she had gone and gotten herself into.

Swallowing, it took a few tries to work up the courage to return to touching him, a lone fingertip enjoying the soft, velvet-like feeling as she ran from the mushroom looking tip all the way back down.

OoOoO

Angel swallowed hard as he watched her. His thoughts rang back to the fact that he had been with all sorts of women in his day, women who knew exactly what they were doing in the bedroom, or close enough to such... and not a single one of them could hold a candle to the shyness mixed with curiosity that flowed from this damn woman.

Buffy grew bolder, too, her fingertips swirling around the head of his cock, doing her best to wrap her hand around him, feeling the weight of him against her palm. She fell into a rhythm of moving her hand up and down, his breath grew heavier as he tried his best to let her have her way. He was enjoying it now doubt, and in no way did he want her to stop, but her slow and steady movement were quickly starting to border torture. Linking his hand with hers, he gently guided her arm around his neck before tugging her fully across him.

"Hey," she pouted just before he slanted his lips over hers. "I was having fun there," she managed, albeit a little breathless.

Not even trusting himself to speak he adjusted his shorts before gathering her back in his arms and making his way across the short distance to the bed. She felt like she was floating, she wasn't sure how she'd mustered up the strength to deny him for so long, as her back came into contact with the soft mattress she couldn't even imagine pushing him away or flickering out of this reality. Even though she was pretty sure she had never been so nervous in her entire life she still wanted him in a way she wasn't sure she could even describe.

OoOoO

She didn't really know when or how it had happened but she soon found all of herself lying bare beneath his gaze. Angel had just slid the lacey pair of undies she had on off her ankles and he was currently nipping his way back up between her thighs. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to ignore the butterflies fluttering around inside her, she may not be very experienced-or experienced at all- but she was far from a prude, though right now she'd be lying if she denied that old familiar sense of fight or flight wasn't creeping up.

Sensing the tension coursing through her he paused just inches from her center. Even though she'd been so bold earlier he didn't want to send her into a panic. "Buffy," he whispered huskily, "Are you sure this is okay?"

Instead of answering him her fingers found their way back to his hair, gripping him firmly she giggled at the brazen move, tugging him towards her.

Everytime he thought he had her figured out she would go and do something like that, surprising him all over again. His heart swelled, all he'd wanted since laying eyes on her was for her to want him as much as he did her. His focus regained, he carefully ran his tongue up the slit of her hot core, her grip on him loosened until it fell away completely. This had never been his favorite act, but just like everything else it seemed, when it came to her he couldn't get enough.

Wanting to savor every second he took his time working her, wanting, needing… to savor every second, every sound. He loved the way she tasted, the way she moved, but most of all he loved how she tried to hold back, to stay still and quiet. It was almost like they had entered some silent battle, he would tease and torment, circle her clit, all while she held back. She couldn't win though, not this, he'd go lightly just long enough for her to think she was back in control before he'd suck her swollen nub between his lips again or lightly roll it between his teeth, causing her to lose her precious composure again and again.

OoOoO

Her thighs were trembling, her whole body seeming to shake with need before he finally slid his index finger into her silky depths. Her body, not used to the intrusion, clamped and rippled around the intrusive digit, causing him to groan at the sensation and his cock to throb in response. Having long since lost the ability to keep quiet, he hung onto every whimper, every sound she made. Had he any doubts before, he was now certain that she, her body and soul, had been made just for him. Whoever it was, God, The Powers, they had designed them for each other, and he wanted nothing less than forever with this woman, consequences be damned.

She'd long stopped fighting whatever it was that was happening to her, apparently Angel really was more in tune with her body than she was because he was making her feel things, making her respond in ways she hadn't even known she could. Another wave of intense heat seemed to spread throughout her entire body when he inserted a second finger inside her, her hips, all on their own it seemed, rocked and rolled in an attempt to draw him closer, to pull him deeper inside of her.

Much to her surprise, she felt her own hands cupping her full breast, rolling the over sensitive peaks between her fingers. She felt like she couldn't breathe, couldn't think straight even, all she knew was that whatever he was doing she didn't want him to stop, ever. Suddenly all those worries she'd been holding onto all this time, the powers, her friends, hell even her existence, didn't seem to matter anymore. All she cared about, all she could think about was the perfect depiction of a man pressed intimately against her.

Feeling him pause inside her, she heard some strangled noise escape her and for the life of her she couldn't even decipher what she'd said. The best she could make out was the please at the end, so that's what she hung onto chanting it over and over again. Though not even she was sure what she was begging for, but he couldn't possibly expect her to go on like this, and she certainly hoped he didn't expect her to be able just get up or walk away. With the way her whole body seemed to shake, she wasn't even sure that she was physically capable of standing, much less walking.

No, she was on the edge of something spectacular, and even though the thought of tumbling over that cliff terrified her, she couldn't help but race towards it. Angel seemed to know it too because everytime she felt that end nearing, every time she felt like all this pleasure inside her might explode, he would slow down, change the way his mouth moved against her, or withdraw his fingers completely, and that glorious feeling she felt spreading inside of her would dissipate just enough to make her want to beg for it back. In a way it felt like one of those rides she rode at the theme park, even her stomach would clench as she neared that peak only to stop when he managed to pull her back down.

OoOoO

He was well aware how close to the edge she was teetering, and he had an idea how absolutely crazy he was making her, but he couldn't deny that he was loving every moment. The way her tiny moans had turned into soft breathy pleas, the way she couldn't quite seem to figure out just what to do with her hands, how they would go from wrapped around his hair, to clenching the fabric of the sheets, to her own nipples in some attempt to alleviate the ache he was sure was there.

This, this right here was what he wanted to go after from the first damn moment he laid eyes on her, or well, close to that first moment... after the confusion as to who she was and why she was in his apartment anyhow. Then again after he thought she was some psycho spouting off endless nonsense. This was what he wanted to show her, experience with her, use as one more avenue to try and explain where his head and heart were when it came to everything she was, share with her how it felt to been wanted, needed, loved. Sure, at first it had started out as pure lust, the girl was fucking beautiful after all, but it had all developed long since then into more than he would have ever imagined, too. All he wanted was her, against the rules, right or wrong, none of that mattered. He wanted her in his bed, in his life, in every aspect of his existence.

The more he had gotten to know Buffy, the more he had caught on to those sad looks of longing for more out of life that she tried so hard to keep hidden and to pretend like everything was okay and the more he'd wanted to be the one to show her that she mattered as something more than a passing wish granter in people's lives, that she mattered to him, that she could have whatever she, too, desired... if she would just give in to it. And how he just wanted to be part of it all.

With a soft smile on his lips, his eyes lifted back to Buffy's face as she cried out his name again in a strangled voice. "Hmm?"

He could have sworn there were almost frustrated tears in her eyes as she mumbled on about how something didn't feel right and how people aren't supposed to feel like this forever.

Chuckling, he assured her she was okay before kissing along the inside of her thigh, down from her knee, before settling back in to finally allow the poor girl some relief before she swore him off from touching her ever again.

OoOoO

Buffy couldn't settle on the idea of if she was seeing just some bright white light, pure darkness, or blurry colorful dots dancing across her eyes, at times unsure if she still had them squeezed shut or if she was just having some tripped out reaction and had lost vision from what in the hell this man was doing to her body.

Never in her long life had she felt like she had less control of a situation, of her feelings, of her own damn body. That was something he'd been struggling with since meeting Angel but being before him like this was not even close to something she'd been prepared for.

Buffy felt that bubbling start back up between her legs and warmth spread throughout her whole body, the slight trembles turning into stronger quakes, her body wanting to dig further into the bed and lift up into the air at the same time, same as the push and pull of this need to draw him as close s possible and yet a sensation of wanting to push him away because it all felt like too damn much.

By the time she realized the change to this perfect torment, it was almost too late. Angel's warm tongue continued to lick and lap at her even after those first beginning shakes started to overtake her rather than switching direction or cooling his pace, no, instead he seemed to move with more purpose which made her eyes want to pop out of her head and slam shut, unsure of which would help. His fingers slid easily in and out of her, working in perfect unison with what his mouth was doing to her, her mind unable to help itself as she imagined something quite different being inside of her in their place.

Feeling her breath catch in her throat, her lungs burning, her heels dug into his back as she tried to brace for the impact of whatever this unknown was she was diving into. A completely new, stronger sensation started to over take her, one that seemed to spread out from her core down to the tips of her toes and the very top of her head, her legs felt like jello before turning stuff, shooting out on their own accord in whatever direction they could find, while her hips lifted, thighs locking around Angel's head as her vision went haywire.

Whatever noise came flooding out of her she couldn't have even begun to tell you, and was sure Angel's hearing was so damn muffled at that point he couldn't have either, but she felt something escape her. Her mind blanked and all she could feel was utter fucking bliss in that moment. Nothing else on the planet, in this world or any other, mattered. Just him.

OoOoO

Angel's hands explored her body as he made his way back to her level, eating up how perfect she felt, how she still trembled when he grazed her hip, her twin mounds, as he lightly cupped her cheek, drawing her to his lips as he settled in above her. It was endlessly conflicting with this woman, how he didn't want to rush her but also how it felt like he'd been waiting a lifetime for this, and something inside of him made him want to believe she almost had been too, just never knew it.

When he pulled back away, he struggled keeping a straight face as she still looked dazed and confused, her eyes bright and a bit glazed over. "Hi there," he finally managed out.

Somehow that alone made her start to pinken up a bit, despite the fact of everything else that had gone on just minutes ago. "H-hi."

"You're fucking perfect, you know that?" he whispered before slanting his mouth to hers once again, cutting off whatever reply she had planned to say.

ButImBroken:

This story is cowritten with Scribes1015!