Well, hello! And Welcome to My Little World of Weirdness!
I state for the record that, despite the fact I really, really wish I did, I don't own any of the characters that will grace this story; it's all CLAMP's! Always has been, always will be!
Also I don't pretend to have any Mastery over the language of Japanese or any clue as to correct grammatical structure. I put it in and hope it gets across the point I'm trying to make! I do own the Cardcaptor of the Whoops lyrics to this fic!! And Yue-Bella, and Kero-ette, and Li Syaotang, and Madison Rae and Carl Hodover, and several other characters, but I don't want to spoil the surprise yet!! All other songs I don't own, but I do own the made up lyrics!!
"Speaking"
*Stress/emphasis*
//Thinking//
~~Flashback~~
#Singing#
Whoops! Didn't Mean To Do That . . .
Series Zero.Three
By Dr Megalomania.
[I apologies for the length of this episode in advance, so no complaints please . . . it's basically three episodes all in one, because . . . I've got really bad writer's block, and when I get really bad writer's block, it means I tend to ramble [See Tainted Soul for example of rambling, it was supposed to be a three chapter fic] until I eventually get to the point. [puts hand behind head and laughs] That, and I'm just plain lazy, and can't come up with three episodes . . . Erm . . . welcome to the new series!!] --- [five minutes later] okay, I repent, I've split it up in to short chapters because I fear the wrath of readers . . . so, two chapters up on the same night are the same chapter, please excuse rather abrupt ending to first chapter, and rather abrupt beginning to second.
Last Time on Cardcaptor Meilin!!
"You've reached the end!"
"End of what?"
"You mean Clow wasn't as stupid as we thought he was?!"
"The LAST card!"
"Actually no . . . Or there will be Terror upon the little people . . ."
"You've had your fun . . . now let me have mine . . ." Meilin shouted as she raised her staff, the card shrugged and rolled it's eyes knowing it had been caught. "Whoops card, return to your mistakes' confine!!" She brought the staff down and konked the tall whoops card on the head, "Distraction card!!!"
{A Single, Crimson Lotus Petal Lands On Seemingly Pure White Water . . .}
[Cue Platinum And Meilin Singing Third Season Song]
I am the 'captor . . .
Look at my power!
In this world, things will happen . . .
But not to worry, we can take it on . . .
Remember, that you and I . . . we are stronger together!
So whatever blunder we must face . . .
Whatever mistake of Clow's . . .
We will face it and we will win!
Whatever comes . . .
Promise me.
We'll face it, together an' then go for ice-cream!
Oh, Come with me,
Trust in me,
What have we got to lose? Oh, what the hell!
Come on, let's go!
Come on! With me . . .
Cardcaptor Meilin!
Part Fourteen-B:
Cardcaptor Meilin, Clow Reed And The Not-So-Very-Final Judgement!!
Part Two!!
"Whoa . . . that sounded like a really weird adventure . . ."
Kero-ette muttered as she looked around, her beady little eyes fell on her twin brother as Kero feigned trouble with the knot in Spinel's ties. The Little blue cat glared at Kero as he explained to Suppi in sincere, sad tones that . . .
"I just don't understand it, Suppi-chan . . . I mean you'd think it was just a simple double shoelace knot, but as it turns out . . ."
Meilin rolled her eyes, and looked at her newly captured card. The last card, The Distraction, was just a barely clothed version of Yue who was glancing away distractedly. The angel's hair was loose about his shoulders, and there was something distinctly Venus-painting-like about his pose. "Why did Clow make this card look like Yue . . ." She peered closer as was assured that there was a big fig leaf in front of the card-Yue's-- ahem, yes well. "A *naked* Yue, might I add . . .?"
Eriol winced as Yue slapped him upside the head for good measure, the blue haired reincarnation grinned unrepentantly, "Well . . . Clow was a bit crafty when it came to Yue's . . . ahem, yes . . .well . . . let's cut straight to a flashback, shall we?"
~~
Clow leaned forward, checking both sides of the corridor as he waited. He stepped up from the stairs, and pulled out his cards, selecting the one he would need for his little plan. It had finally come to a boiling point, and Clow couldn't take it any more. Yue was now a good five months old, and in creation type terms, that meant Yue was roughly the physical age of twenty. He frowned, that was why he couldn't take it any more . . . Yue was drop-dead spanking gorgeous . . . and it wasn't getting any easier. The wand that broke the magician's back was about three nights ago, when Clow had walked into his study and came across . . .
Yes, Yue. Bent over the piano. Fine tuning.
The angel had removed most of his robes' cumbersome layer, and was just in his shirt and leggings, but still! Clow had to protest, the angel was bent over the damned piano, leant forward, one leg up in the air for balance, and he was stretching in. Clow actually went crashing to the floor when Yue started to jump slightly as he reached for some random bit of dirt in the furthest corner, and had started to grunt slightly. Fate was just being mean!!
The crafty mage smiled slyly, well . . . now he was going to get his revenge, and hopefully a brand new bed warmer, in his favourite shape: Angel, and called Yue. The angel was currently indulging in his Big Moon Guardian Bath, which basically meant he spent about ten percent longer in the bath than he usually did. Yue spent precisely three hours and twenty-three minutes in the bathtub. One hour for his wings, one for the hair, and one for . . . Clow drooled . . . his body. The magician had yet to discover for what Yue used the twenty-three minutes for, but he was sure that he could get his minions – namely the cards – to find out for him.
Clow had timed it perfectly, as he pulled out his pocket watch. "Like clockwork . . ." He murmured, as he started to walk closer to the bathroom. Clow, cunning little shrew he was, had timed it to the second, and just happened to finish his work, just happened to be on the third floor, just happened to be just about to walk past Yue's favourite bathroom. He grinned, and he had the perfect way of just happening to bump into Yue. He pulled up the Dash card, and whispered, "Ready?" The card glowed dimly, already aware of it's orders.
A cloud of steam rolled out of the bathroom as the door opened. Clow grinned and held up the Dash card, he whispered the code word, "Playtime!"
The card burst from it's confine, and ran past the bathroom. Clow waited the appropriate three seconds before running after it. He'd ordered it to keep running for an hour, even if he called it back. He smiled smugly to himself, he was a genius. Forestalling the appropriate sigh of 'I love me', Clow jogged after the Dash card, just as Yue was walking out of the bathroom, with the accompanying haze of Lavender and his favourite aftershave, 'C.R. Icy Moon Man' – To give you that irresistible moon attraction . . . – the angel was looking down, as he added out soggily attired in nothing but a huge towel and his loose soaking wet hair. Clow was grinning as he ran up to the angel, pretended not to see him, and neatly flipped over his angel, as the angel's catlike reflexes made the surprised moon angel duck his tripping master.
The crafty mage landed on his backside, but the pain was worth it. Clow swivelled slightly and moaned an appropriate "Owww . . ." before taking in the sight of his drop dead spanking gorgeous moon angel.
Yue was on his knees, wet hair plastered around his back and shoulders, with a few soggy locks framing his face. His eyes were blinking and large, the innocence of his creation still there as he gazed worriedly at Clow. His pale lips were slightly pursed as he clasped his towel in both hands to his pale chest. The angel's damp wings hovered and fluttered gently with Yue's concern.
Clow blinked, and gazed at the angel. If he hadn't been so stunned by the sight he might have cheered, punched the air in a victory stance or at least drooled. Instead he swivelled around, and got onto his knees. Yue blinked and looked up as Clow moved closer. "Daijobu, Clow-sama?"
"Hai . . ." Clow nodded slowly, he smiled faintly as he realised that it was the fact Yue was drop dead spanking gorgeous that left him so stunned, well . . . actually it was, I mean . . . the man is drop dead spanking gorgeous, but anyway, Clow came to the rather sudden realisation that . . . he loved Yue, loved his now incredible cute confused little frown that was settling on his sweet forehead . . . the magician stopped and lifted Yue's chin.
The angel tensed slightly, Clow's lips pressed again his lightly in a fashion he had never known. Clow's eyes were closed so Yue closed his as well. The sensation was so . . . nice, he didn't want it to end. He moaned quietly as Clow broke the motion, and sat back on his heels. Clow smiled gently as Yue opened his eyes and stared back at him. He lifted his hand and cupped Yue's cheek, "I love you, my An----
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo---" Kero gasped for breathe, "---OOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!"
Eriol jumped from his daydream and glared at the winged lion, "Hey!!" Clow's voice filtered through, "I was enjoying that flashback!!"
Kero rolled on the ground squirming from the icky love scene, "How many times must I tell you two? I don't want to know!!!"
Yue shrugged, and turned to Meilin. "Anyway, he made that card look like me, because he'd do that for ages, always stopped doing his work, just so he could catch me coming out of the bathroom. Eventually, he thought it a Distraction . . ."
Meilin blinked, "That's it?"
"Pretty much so . . ." Eriol groused darkly, still sore about the interruption. He sighed and looked around, "Where were we?"
"Erm . . ." Yue-Bella pulled out her pocket watch, "Time for another rather random break in the plot I do believe . . ."
The taxi stopped, his companion jumped out, and stared up at the new house. "It looks just like our old one!!"
He paid the driver, and pulled out his bags, "I know . . ."
". . . Wow, random . . ."
Syaotang nodded as he looked at the oddly shaped object as it smouldered in the centre of the school's sports court. "Another piece of the Mir satellite . . ." He gazed up, "I wonder how many fragments of the MIR there is up there?"
Yue raised an eyebrow, "As many as a certain fanfic writer needs to make totally random jokes . . ." He sighed, and looked around. The angel smile . . . well, the corner of his pale lips quirked a little as he spotted Touya running up. "Where have you been?"
The taller boy brushed himself down, "Erm . . . what do you mean?"
"I mean . . ." Yue walked over and glanced Touya over; he looked distinctly like an evil genius with his black PVC body suit, massive black boots and white lab coat. "I mean, where have you been for the last few days?"
"I've been . . ." a mobile phone ringed deep with in Touya's pockets, "Excuse me one moment . . ." Yue folded his arms and tapped his foot expectantly, as Touya walked off quickly, "What do you mean they won't negotiate with terrorists?! Damnit, get me Bush!" The blue-eyed older brother sighed sharply, "Bush? This is Peach Arrow . . . yes, Peach Arrow . . . Bush, you toy with the wrong man . . ." Touya growled menacingly, "I'll tell you what I've got on the States! I've got a pretzel with YOUR name on it! . . . and tell your little lapdog, Mister Tony Blair, opinion polls show he's TRAILING by six percent! MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
Sakura's eye twitched, "What's up with Oniichan?"
Yue shrugged and continued to tap his foot.
"Well, yeah, Think about it Bush . . . remember, pretzel. Your name. You've got twelve hours to hand over the Nelvana Production team . . . oh, and throw in Canada while you're at it . . ." He folded up the mobile and glanced around, ". . . What?"
"What was that all about?" Yue asked, and then squinted at Touya suspiciously, "Are you some kind of evil overlord and you're not telling us?"
Touya and Yue stared at each other for a hot moment before both dissolved into a fit of laughter, "Oh that was a good one, Yue!" Touya exclaimed, "Evil overlord, me? Mwha ha aha ha!!" He clapped a hand on Yue's shoulder, "But seriously, let's stop all this talk about world domination. . ."
"World domination?" Yue blinked, "What do you mean world domination?"
"Domination?" Touya repeated, "What do you mean domination?" A look of understanding passed over his face, "Oh, Yue. . . maybe later. . ."
Yue blinked innocently before he got it, and blushed a deeply un-moon-guardian-ly red.
Meilin rolled her eyes and looked around, "So . . ."
"So?" Kero-ette looked up from untying Suppi. The blue cat was glaring at Kero coldly, and looked ready to pounce on him, when Kero-ette jumped on him and held him down, "So what?"
"So . . ." Meilin looked around, "When's this final judgement?"
Kero-ette blinked, "Final judgement?"
"Yes, final judgement!" Syaotang glared at the little golden bear-ette. "You know that thing where Yue-Bella judges me and Meilin in a completely surprise thing, and everything's really explained and then it's the end of the freaking saga . . ." He turned his Melt-Damn-You-O-Glare on Eriol, " . . . Except it won't be, will it? No . . . because there will be some kind of second-doppelganger of you, who will come along and be freaky and scary just like you and then there will be some kind of huge test at the end of it, and then we'll think that's the end . . . but it won't be because Clow Reed was some psycho-freaking-weirdo, and then there will be another set of cards, and another set of guardians out there . . ." He fell to his knees and yelled passionately to the heavens, "DAMNIT!! WILL IT NEVER END?!"
The entire group were silent as they stared at the little tango. Meilin stepped forward and touched his shoulder lightly, "Are you okay now?"
He nodded and got to his feet, "Oh, yeah . . . I needed that . . ."
"Good . . ." Eriol smiled, "Don't worry about there being a second version of me, because there isn't . . . trust me, Clow Reed wasn't that stupid . . . he'd never do anything like that . . ."
He sneezed.
"Dust?" His other companion looked up from her book.
"No . . ." He smiled, "Just someone cursing my name again . . ."
". . . Besides, it would be really confusing if there was another me, because I'm so wonderful . . ." Eriol nodded, "Take heart, there isn't another version of me."
Meilin sighed, "Good . . . I wasn't there for much of the whole Sakura cards, so I wouldn't know what to expect if there was . . ."
"Hmmm . . ." Sakura looked up, "Nothing too much . . . just that you'll be taken to wonderland, vast amounts of snow falling off mountians at you, flying penguin statues, snow men attacks . . . nothing too freaky and scary, eh, Eriol?"
The reincarnation smiled mockingly, "And not forgetting that absolutely brilliant 'trapping guardians in true forms', you have to admit Kero trying to throw flour at Yue and then just getting it on himself was just hilarious!"
Kero growled darkly, "I'll give you just hilarious!!"
The group chuckled for a little while, before Meilin asked again, "So, when am I going to have my final judgement?"
Inexplicably the warm afternoon suddenly crashed into nighttime, with the moon huge, and slightly blue-ish purple in the sky. The group jumped as Yue-Bella suddenly disappeared in a big poof of purple-ish blue smoke. "What was that?" Tomoyo cried out, as she and Sakura readied their cameras.
"A very bad cut!!" Kero-ette transformed suddenly, ". . .Of Nelvana proportions!!!"
[Cardcaptor Meilin – Eye catch!!]
----------------------------
[Nelvana Styling Advert – insert big loud music and really corny voice-overs]
Big Narrator Type Guy: This Fanfic on FF.net . . .
Meilin: WHAT THE HECK?!
Shadowy figure one: This looks like it'll be a lot of fun . . .
Ruby: [disbelieving] No way . . . that wasn't who I just thought it was, was it?!
Shadowy figure two: [smug] Master, they really don't look that tough . . .
Spinel: [wide eyed] I can't believe this . . .
Shadowy Figure Three: Hey . . . why are we standing in the shadows? It's cold!
Eriol: [eyebrows disappearing under hairline] Holy cheesy crap . . .
B.N.T.G: One New Cardcaptor . . . One new Threat . . . One new excuse to make bad puns . . .
Syaoran: [dryly] I saw it coming . . . and I think everyone else saw it coming before this fanfic even started . . .
Cardcaptor Meilin: Series Zero.Three – One last time . . .
Shadowy Figure One: Aw. . . look at me, I'm a widdle G.I.F animation! Ain't I schweet! Yes I am! Look at me! oooo! Look I'm walking like a little soldier . . .
----------------------------
[Cardcaptor Meilin – Eye catch!!]
Meilin glanced around, "So . . . the final judgement . . . what do I do?"
"I know!" Tomoyo suddenly spoke up, she ran forward and grabbed both of Meilin's hands, "You can get changed into a better costume!!"
Meilin went crashing to the floor and quickly scrambled to her feet, "To-Tomoyo-chan! This is supposed to be serious!!"
"This is serious, no judgement maker will take you serious if you're dressed like that!!" She pulled Meilin over to Sakura, and grabbed Sakura, dragging them to the conveniently parked costume van, "Besides it's the duty of every Magic Girl to be dressed appropriately for any huge task!!" Sakura shrugged at Meilin, and allowed herself to be dragged.
As Touya and the guardians sat around waiting for Tomoyo, Eriol sniggered behind his hand, and Syaoran rolled his eyes to the heavens. Syaotang sighed and tapped his foot, as Tomoyo pushed past him dragging the two Cardcaptors. "Will you be long?" He asked quickly, "We do actually need to take the final test some time today . . ."
Tomoyo stopped. She turned and stared at him.
"What?" Syaotang stepped back, his hand going to his sword instinctively. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
She didn't say a word, not a single word . . . before suddenly pouncing on him.
"ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!"
Sakura looked stunning, dressed in a simply divine blue and black number. She blushed as Tomoyo beamed happily, as she took all her usual shots of her costume. "Sakura-chan looks so brilliant!! Ready to help Meilin in her final Judgement!!"
Eriol paused long enough in his sniggering, to look up as a xylophone suddenly sounded in that classic anime Magic Girl way, he spotted the Music card waving at him. "Oh . . ." He nodded to the card, "Nice touch there, Music!"
The Music card blushed and waved her hand modestly.
Syaoran eyes Syaotang warily, "What do you think?"
"I think that Tomoyo girl is a psycho."
"That's a given . . ." Syaoran nodded, "But I meant the costume . . ."
Syaotang sighed and looked down on himself. "I'm . . . not particularly fond of it . . ."
Syaoran snorted, Tomoyo had forced Syaotang into an orange version of Syaoran's only other set of robes, "They looked dire!!" Syaotang sighed, and pulled at the bright orange slacks, "If I quickly change into my old robes, she'll notice?"
Eriol held up some rather hastily torn up scraps of orange, "Not if you don't mind looking like a pauper!" He grinned, "When Tomoyo hates something, she hates it good!"
Syaotang sighed, "Is there no end in sight of my torment!" He pointed at the ex-robes, "Those were my traditional family robes!! They were a gift to me!!"
Tomoyo paused long enough in her filming to look at him, "From whom?"
"Madison!" Syaotang snapped and then thought about it, "Wait . . . wait, wait, wait . . . wait . . ." He growled angrily and grabbed the shredded robes from Eriol's clutches, "I've always hated these damned things."
As Syaotang proceeded to make fluffy tufts of fluff out of his ex-robes, the Magic Girl stepped away from Meilin. She frowned and made another tiny change to her hair. Then frowned again and changed the bow to the left side . . . then to the right . . . then to the left . . . then back to the---
"Thank you Magic Girl!" Meilin sweatdropped, "I think I can manage with that . . ."
The Magic Girl blushed sweetly, and bobbed a bow, before revealing Meilin's costume to them all. Meilin turned and looked at her friends, "So . . . what do you think?"
The group fell utterly silent.
"Knowing that it's the Whoops cards . . ." Meilin closed her eyes, and grimaced, "I look like an idiot, don't I?"
Syaotang was the first to step forward, and grabbed her hands, "Look for yourself . . ."
Meilin swallowed lightly, and cracked open an eye, first she looked at her feet. Delicate dark red ballerina shoes were tied there, the Magic Girl had chosen to make her up like a ballerina; crimson red straps swirled right up her legs with neat bows on the thighs and the ankles of the shoes. The tutu was replaced with a simple skirt that moved easily, and was slightly puffed up so it floated around her like a cloud. The shoulder straps slipped off the shoulder and rested quite prettily in bows on the arms, and again ribbons swirled down the arms culminating into crimson red, fingerless gloves. Her hair was also swirled into six plaits, the front two fell either side of her face, and the others were looped back on themselves.
Meilin blinked, and looked at Syaotang, who was smiling faintly at her, "And the theme for the night is bows?"
He shrugged, "I don't understand it either . . . all I know is that you look . . . " He blushed and looked down, "very distracting . . ."
She giggled and leant forward, "That's because the Magic Girl didn't get to dress me for the Distraction card," she shrugged, "guess she's making up for it now . . ." He snorted and nodded his agreement, as Meilin stepped back to check out his costume. She balked, "Erm . . . your costume is very . . ."
". . . don't say it." Syaotang growled.
"Very . . ." She winced, "It's very orange."
"I know. . ." He sighed, "But what can I do?"
Meilin glanced at Tomoyo, who was filming Sakura, who was filming Meilin. Sakura put her thumb up, "You look simply Kawaii! So full of bravery! Ready to catch that card!!"
Meilin nodded, "Yep! But first things first!!" She stepped back.
Yue-Bella frowned as Meilin twirled her staff around her hand, "What are you doing Meilin?"
"Magic Girl! Can you do your thing?" Meilin threw the card out, "Make Syaotang's costume fit for card capturing!! Release and misspell!!"
The card blinked, and descended on Syaotang in a flash, handing Tomoyo back the orange uniform with a regretfully smile.
Syaotang opened his eyes, "Well?"
Meilin clapped her hand over her mouth as she took in his cape, "You look like batman!!"
He slapped his forehead, and rolled his eyes, "Try again!!"
He opened his eyes again, "Well?"
Eriol was rolling on the ground, howling with laughter. Touya, the guardians and Syaoran bit their lips, and tried not to snigger too much. Tomoyo smiled, and clapped, "Why didn't I think of that?! The Magic Girl is a genius!! "
Syaotang looked down on himself, he was wearing his normal robes except . . . they were bright pink!
"Try again!!" He growled at the Magic Girl, before grabbing her by the collar, "And cut out the crap!!"
The fourth try could be summed up in two words: butt naked.
Finally. . .
Syaotang opened his eyes, "Okay. . . last try. . . how'd I look?"
Meilin glanced at the others, Tomoyo's mouth fell open as she whispered, "The Magic Girl is a genius!" The others simply looked shock. Syaotang, look . . . really . . . really . . .
"Wow." Ruby tilted her head, "No . . . really . . . you look wow . . ."
Syaotang glanced down, he looked . . .
"Wow!" Syaotang emoted; he was now dressed in a very chic dark orange and deep green number, with sharp white slacks. It had resonates of both of Syaoran's uniforms, but was much more modern. His eyes widened, "The Magic Girl pushed the boat out for this one, didn't she?"
The Magic Girl leant on Tomoyo's shoulder and nodded, she smiled at Meilin, before disappearing back into her card form. The pack of cards floated up and one card span out. The Invisible card landed on his tush with a bump, and quickly jumped up. He brushed down his black cloak, "Ahem . . . Cardcaptor Meilin, we cards hope you shall win . . ." He paused, "Erm . . . just jump right in, for losing is a great sin!"
Meilin blinked at him, "Thank you . . ." The card span and jumped back into his card form, she smiled, "Well . . . I guess there nothing left to do now . . ." She turned towards the school, and looked up. The moon now . . . because it looked good there, of course, and the laws of Physics didn't really apply when one was making a scene look good . . . now hung behind the clock tower, large and slightly purplish. The stars twinkled and the group followed her gaze, as there was a sharp blue-ish purple glow. Yue-Bella's magic circle appeared and the angel-Bella's cocoon of wings appeared. They spread, and revealed the angel-girl. Yue-Bella gazed down at them, with a cool gaze, her eyes narrowing slightly.
"I am Yue-Bella . . . the Judgement Maker, this is the Final Judgement . . . or to give it it's full name, The final judgement which is not so final . . . or a judgement . . . just a big climatic beginning to the new series . . ."
Meilin glanced at Kero-ette, "Why is she telling us this?"
The lion-ette's golden eyes narrowed, "Because she doesn't know that she's told you this before."
"Nani?!" Meilin exclaimed, "What does that mean?"
Syaotang stepped forward, "The judge's memory has been completely wiped to ensure fairness . . ." He frowned, "Yue-Bella doesn't remember any of us, and she won't until the judgement is completely over."
Sakura frowned from behind her camera, "What happens if neither of you win?"
"Then the judge will never get her memory back, the cards and guards will be sealed again, and then they will all wait until the next idiot opens the book." The group spun to find Carho back again, in a change of clothing – a pretty impressive set of white and dark green robes – and wielding the Damned-Annoying-Bell. He smiled slightly, "Just thought I'd pop in . . . you know, just to add to the big mood."
Meilin rolled her eyes, as Kero-ette suddenly jerked. "Wait a minute!!" Cried the lioness before she ran off. Everyone's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but when the lion-ette didn't return, the general mood turned to deep worry.
"Where did she go?" Spinel asked worriedly as he sat on his master's shoulder. Eriol shrugged and looked around. The group started to become restless as a few more minutes past. Finally the lion-ette ambled back, smiling slightly. "Okay . . . let's get this over and done with . . ." she blinked as the group stared at her with worry, "What?"
"What happened?!" Spinel asked as he jumped off his master's shoulder and transformed, he ran up to her and stared at her pensively, "My darling, what happened?"
"Whatd'ya mean?" She shrugged and moved past him to sit by Meilin, she blinked and laughed suddenly, "Oh, right . . ." she grinned, "You lot don't think a guardian beast-ette's gotta answer the call of nature once in a while?"
Everyone, including the Author, went crashing to the ground.
He picked up his hat, and brushed it off. "Hmmm . . . perfect . . . naturally . . ."
Syaotang jumped down off the staff, as Meilin landed the Butterfly card disappeared quickly as the two stared up. They had left the others in prime seat on the ground, while they came up and challenged Yue-Bella on the roof. The pair exchanged a look as Kero-ette fluttered up. She stared at the clock tow gravely. "Meilin-chan . . . it's time now . . ."
Meilin blinked as the realisation of her vision came about, she looked over at Syaotang, as he grasped her hand lightly. He stared at the clock tower, and smiled slightly, "Try you hardest Meilin, and we will surely succeed . . ."
"Hai . . ." Meilin murmured, as she looked up at Yue-Bella. The angel-girl floated closer.
The moon angel girl stared back at them coolly, her lilac coloured eyes fell on Kero-ette, "Keroberos-ette . . . It's been a long time . . ." She said quietly.
Kero-ette nodded solemnly, "Indeed it has . . ."
"Where's my pizza?"
"I ate it." Kero-ette nodded again solemnly.
The moon angel-girl raised an eyebrow, "Pig . . ." She sighed, "Alright . . . I'm sure I have better things to do so . . ." She stared hard at Syaotang, "You fail."
"NANI?!" Syaotang face-faulted, he quickly shook his head, "Why? I haven't even had a try!!"
She smirked slightly, "I don't like your robes . . . I hate orange with a passion . . . therefore, I think that's grounds enough to fail you automatically." Syaotang went crashing to the floor as Yue-Bella turned her gaze on Meilin, "And you . . ."
Meilin closed her eyes fearfully.
He chuckled slightly as his two companions walked into the room. "What's so funny?" Asked the female companion.
"Nothing . . ." he murmured, "Just the Author adding some senseless tension . . ."
"You fail too . . ."
Meilin's eyes snapped open, as Kero-ette growled, "That's not fair, Yue-Bella!!"
The angel girl tossed her head, "I don't want another master, Keroberos-ette, Clow was stupid enough . . . and if this girl was stupid enough to open the book---"
"Demo!" Meilin shouted up, "Demo . . . I worked so hard to capture them!!"
There was a quiet snort from Yue-Bella, "Which makes you even more dumber . . . if you had read the back of the book . . ." She glared at Meilin coldly, and sighed sharply, "Very well, you must use all the cards . . ." She flicked out her hand, and the cards spun away from Meilin and surrounded her, as the angel continued, "These cards to your advantage, and defeat me . . . got that?" Meilin nodded, and Yue-Bella sighed again, "Good. Well . . ." she eyed Meilin, "what are you waiting for?"
Meilin nodded again, sparing only one glance at Syaotang. He smiled at her, "Go for it, Meilin. Try your hardest!"
"Meilin-chan!!" Sakura and Tomoyo yelled up, "Do your best, don't give up!!"
"I will!!" She nodded down at them, then turned her attention back on Yue-Bella, "Butterfly!!" Her wings sprouted from her back quickly, and she took off. "All right, let's do this!!" She threw out her hand, "What If!"
"Not that one!!" Kero-ette growled, Syaotang snapped his head to her.
"Why not?!"
"It's under Yue-Bella's influence!!" Kero-ette shouted up at Meilin, "Meilin!! Not that one!!"
Meilin didn't hear her as she cast the spell, "What If I won this without hurting Yue-Bella? Release and misspell!!"
Yue-Bella folded her arms and glared at the What If card as she swooped to the moon angel-girl, the moon angel-girl waited right until the What If was just in front of her. "You think that will defeat me?" She sighed, "I knew you would fail . . . What If I turned the What If against you?"
Meilin gasped as the What If twisted around suddenly and swooped down on her, "NANI?!" As the card wrapped around her and tightened it's grip like vines . . . not that the Author is borrowing heavily from the final judgment episode . . . the angel-Bella landed lightly. "If you weren't as stupid as Clow reed, you would have know that you cannot defeat me with the What If . . ."
Meilin hung her head, "What's the consequence?"
"Consequence?" Yue-Bella cocked an eyebrow, "There wasn't a consequence, I was just gonna make you feel really small and laugh at you . . . but now you mention it," She folded her arms again, "It's probably a good idea . . . very well, the consequence is . . ." she nodded, "Heck, my job's not to make this stuff up, so you can be lumped with what ever happened to the other Cardcaptor . . ."
"What happened?" Meilin murmured fearfully, as Kero-ette and Syaotang landed nearby.
The lion-ette glanced up at Yue-Bella, and sighed sadly, "That you forget everything . . . and all the love is taken away from the people closest to you . . ." She looked around, "Clow did it to stop anyone from being sad when you failed . . ." she looked up at Meilin and padded closer, leaning on her back legs as she lapped at Meilin's face, "I'm sorry Meilin . . ." she sighed, "I'll miss you, I won't remember any of this but I'm sure somewhere we'll all miss you, Meilin . . ."
. . . Meilin . . . Mei-ling . . . Mei-ring . . . brri-brring . . . brrring-brrrrrrring . . .
Meilin growled, and threw her hand out slapping the alarm clock off. She sat up and yawned, "It was all a dream?" She sighed; "I guess it was too weird to be true . . ." She sighed and got out of bed. There was a quiet noise from her drawer, making her look at it strangely. "That was where the stuffed toy's sister was . . ." She murmured as she slid it open, maybe hoping that she would find some left over sweets under the guardian-beast-ette's bed . . .
All she found were socks and undies.
Meilin frowned as Syaoran's voice rang out, "Come on Meilin!! We'll be late for school!!"
"Here you go, Tomoyo-san."
Meilin blinked as Eriol handed Tomoyo a sheet of paper, he didn't smile that stupid smile he always had, as he walked past her and slid into his own seat. Meilin sighed, and took her seat. She glanced behind her; the little tango was reading his book. He glanced up at her, "Nani?"
"Nothing . . ." Meilin turned away, and sighed. Something was wrong about this . . . wasn't there?
She looked around as she wandered the playground alone. Sakura and Tomoyo were off somewhere together, Syaoran, Syaotang and Eriol were playing ball, and she was just wandering around. She paused by the gates and looked around, Touya and Yukito were talking quietly, as Nakuru walked past them. She didn't even smile up at them as she past them. She glanced at Meilin; she looked a little lonely as she clutched her books to her chest.
"Hi Nakuru-san!" Meilin called, Nakuru turned and looked at her dully, then turned away without a word. Meilin sighed, "This is depressing . . ."
"Tell me about it . . ." Meilin looked up, there in the trees was Madison, Syaotang's boisterous cousin. Meilin smiled slightly, and climbed up quickly.
"You've noticed it too?"
"Of course I have . . ." Madison looked around, "I shouldn't be telling you this but . . ." She shrugged, "This is too dull and depressing . . . so here's a little something to jog that memory of yours . . ." Meilin blinked as the neon-blue eyed girl winked, "ahem . . . Cardcaptor Meilin, we cards hope you shall win . . ." She smiled as she paused, "Erm . . . just jump right in, for losing is a great sin!"
"What does that mean?" Meilin blinked even though she could feel the phrase trigger her memory. "I've heard that before . . ."
Somewhere in the distance a strange twinkling sound was sounded faintly, twangle . . . twangle . . .
Madison rolled her eyes, "Don't make me spell it out!" She slapped her forehead as Meilin stared at her blankly, "All right . . ." She coughed loudly, speaking while she did, "Cardcaptor Meilin!"
"Me? Cardcaptor Meilin?" Meilin blinked, "Cardcaptor Meilin . . ." She looked around, then looked at the school's roof, "Wait . . . I'm the Cardcaptor . . . because Clow's an idiot!!"
Twangle, twangle . . .
"That bell . . ." She looked off into the distance, "I remember . . . Kero-ette hated that bell . . ." Everything faded to an impossible white as Meilin closed her eyes.
Twangle . . . twangle . . .
Meilin opened her eyes, "I remember!!" She grinned, "I remember it all now!!"
Twangle, twangle . . .
"Okay!" The What If card burst away from her as she shouted, "Okay!! I get it!!" She glared at Carho as he rang the bell, "I get it!! Stop ringing that god-awful bell!!!"
He grinned, "Well done, Meilin!" The bell in his hands began to sparkle, "This bell can only give second chances Meilin," He nodded, "thirds are out of the question . . ." He looked down at the bell as it stopped sparkling, "It's meant to be gone now . . ." He rolled his eyes, "Of course, Clow's an idiot . . ." He threw the small china bell at the floor, to smash it. Meilin's eyes widened as the bell came bouncing back up at him, and smashed him in the face.
Way down below them, everyone glared at Eriol. Syaoran shook his hand in the direction of the bell, "Rubber?!"
Eriol shrugged, "I was really, really, really, really . . ." he closed his eye, and counted on his fingers, "Really, really, really, *really* drunk when I made that one . . ." He grinned, "I though it would be exceedingly funny . . ."
Carho rubbed his nose as he stared at the rubber bell, "Stupid Clow . . ." He threw the bell off the roof, "Anyway . . . no second chances, got that?"
"Un!" Meilin nodded, she turned away, and lifted her staff.
Kero-ette sidled up to her quickly, "Aim for her ankles . . . she's got really weak ankles . . ."
Meilin frowned, "Aren't you meant to be impartial?"
"Sure, and this fanfic was s'posed to be funny, but it ain't . . ."
Meilin rolled her eyes and lifted her staff, "I'm not gonna go back into that world again, it was too much like a badly dubbed anime!!" She growled, "I challenge you again!!" There was a really bright glow suddenly, and Meilin's magic circle appeared and her magic rolled around the staff. "Meilin!!" Shouted Carho, "Lift your staff higher!!"
"Why?" Cried out Meilin, she winced as the glow got brighter.
"Because Syaotang's in the way, everyone else can't see it!!"
She lifted the staff way above her head, and risked a glance up. The rubber ducky staff was morphing into a new staff. The rubber duck changed into a lotus flower encased in a round circle, with Butterfly wings either side. Yue-Bella gasped, "Whoa!! This isn't the way it's meant to be going . . . this is meant to be really humiliating for you!!!"
Meilin grinned as she held out her hand, "Well . . ." The cards returned to her instantly, "Not anymore!!" She grinned brighter, "Now it's my turn to be the Magic Girl, and I won't let you take that away from me!!" She turned and ran along the roof, "come and get me!!" She twirled her staff over her arm and struck a card, "Butterfly!!" Meilin glanced over her shoulder as she flew off; Yue-Bella was flying up straight behind her. "Here goes!!"
She gasped as Yue-Bella caught up, the angel girl whipped her head towards her, "You will not win this way, if you continue to run away like a---"
KAH-BOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG
Yue-Bella twitched slightly as she slide down the bell. Meilin smirked and zoomed around the other side of the clock tower. Yue-Bella shook herself off, "Mental note . . ." She muttered, "Watch where self is going, while taunting people . . . Has proven painful to self, must not do such a silly thing again . . ."
As Yue-Bella was brushing herself off, Meilin smiled and pulled out the Distraction card. "Okay, Distraction, provide me with something to distract my judgment angel!!" She tapped the card, "Release and misspell!!"
The Distraction card nodded as it formed itself into a mirror version of Meilin. The two grinned at each other and flew off together. Yue-Bella did a double take as two Meilin's flew out from behind the clock tower. She growled and flew after the one that was closest. "You cannot trick me with such a simple trick!!"
"I can't?" Yelled the other Meilin, "Well, What If I did and won?!"
The What If card streamed towards Yue-Bella. The moon angel's eyes widened, and glowed dimly, "No . . ." The card still came towards her, and wrapped around her. "How is this possible?! Damnit!!"
Meilin landed, and the Distraction card and the Butterfly, snapped off suddenly. They returned to their card forms and floated beside her with the others. The What If brought Yue-Bella down gently, the moon angel was pouting. "I guess this means you've won . . ."
"I guess it does . . ." Meilin smiled as Yue-Bella's wings wrapped around her again. The angel-Bella's wings snapped away a spread, leaving the moon girl smiling slightly.
"Nice move, Meilin . . ." She reigned in her pleasure as she preformed her last duties, "Okay, that's pretty much it . . . I pronounce you the card mistress, Meilin . . ." She winked, "Want any fries with that?"
Meilin started to shake her head when she suddenly felt herself being floated off her feet.
Meilin looked around, everywhere was filled with stars . . .
"Welcome Meiling . . ." A deep American voice boomed. Meilin spun to find Clow Reed standing behind her, "Nice job there . . ."
"You're American?! But . . ." She frowned, "Wait . . . did you just call me Mei-ling?"
"Yes . . . and you're Japanese?! What happened to the American accent?" Clow looked around, "Is this the right dub?"
"Dub?!" Meilin spluttered, "This is the real thing not a dub!!"
"Oooohhh . . ." Clow Reed nodded, he turned away, and knocked on an invisible door, "Hey Clow!! You're up!!"
The American Clow Reed chuckled as his Japanese counterpart swore muffledly, and then faded into nowhere. Meilin felt her eyes and her head spinning with confusions as a huge plume of steam rolled out the door, which had just been opened. Clow reed, the Japanese one, walked out . . . with a towel secured around his waist, his long black hair up in a shower cap, and fluffy slippers. He was muttering darkly to himself as he stepped up to her. "Always happens . . . when I least expect it, the unexpected just leaps up and bites me in the ar—" He looked at her, and blushed deeply. "Arr-arigato, Meilin-chan, Hi . . . I guess you're the new card mistress of the Whoops cards . . ."
Meilin nodded slowly.
He blushed even more, "What can I say . . . Erm . . ." He shrugged, "Whoops . . . didn't mean to do that?"
Meilin rolled her eyes, "What with this staff?" She held it up for him to see.
Clow frowned slightly, "Erm . . ." He shrugged again, "You transformed it, it's now powered with the power of your own lotus flower . . . yadda, yadda . . ." He sighed, "Do you mind if we forego all the big magical stuff," he glanced back to the bathroom door, "I'm kinda . . . busy . . ."
Meilin nodded, "Oh . . . I don't mind . . ." She smiled slightly, "As long as you let me do one thing . . ."
"Sure, what?"
She ran forward quickly and kicked him hard in the chin. "That's for making me go through this all!!"
Yue poked his head through the bathroom's door as Clow yelped loudly in pain, "Clow?"
Meilin looked up, "Hey . . ." She pointed at Yue, "What are you doing here?"
The moon angel shrugged, "We're just . . ." He glanced at Clow, the magician was still hopping from foot to foot, ". . . We're just---"
"Forget it," She held up her hand, "I sure Kero doesn't want to know . . ."
Clow calmed himself down and started back to the bathroom, "Anyway . . ." He pushed Yue back into the room, and pulled the door shut quickly. He held onto the handle as he grinned at Meilin, "Don't forget E equals see are squared . . ."
She blinked at him, "What does that mean?"
"If I tell you that . . ." Clow laughed a knowing chuckle, "Then there won't be any surprise for you . . ."
She frowned as he stepped through the door again and slammed it shut behind him, "MATTE!!"
Meilin reappeared on the roof, and landed softly. Syaotang grinned and ran up to her, "Meilin!!" She turned as he grabbed her, and lifted her off her feet. Her red ribbons swirled and danced in the air as he whirled them around, "You did it!!!"
Meilin giggled as the rest of the group landed on the roof with her, Sakura twirled her staff and tapped a card. The flower streamed out as everyone in the group took the chance to congratulate her. Meilin blinked and looked up. The flower was way above them, raining down thousands of Meilin's favourite flowers, in her favourite colour. Her mouth fell open as the windy started to blow the petals all around them, making her crimson ribbons dance. Meilin tipped her head back, as she stared into the sky filled with stars, her Music card filled the air with triumphant beautiful music as the flower rained down thousands, if not millions of Crimson Lotus petals.
Syaotang stepped up beside her, and slipped his hand around hers gently. She was so distracted, that she didn't notice. Syaotang smiled, she looked beautiful, her black hair swirled and danced in the windy with the almost blood red ribbons, her expression completely open and sweet as she gazed at the petals. "Well done, Meilin . . ."
She held up her hand, her staff glowed and popped with a beautiful crimson explosion. The key, now a key with a single lotus petal, floated towards her. Meilin held out both hands and stared at the key as it floated gently to her hands. She grasped it, and held it close to her chest, closing her red eyes.
Yue-Bella and Kero-ette smiled at each other, and walked behind her, they gazed out across the school rooftop. "Mistress of the Whoops card . . ." Kero-ette nodded, she sniggered quietly, "That sounds even worse than Cardcaptor Meilin!"
Meilin opened her eyes, and looked out, Tomoeda twinkled gently before them in the nighttime. Meilin smiled, then chuckled once. She nodded to herself, and closed her eyes as she shouted for all Tomoeda to hear.
"I DID IT!!"
"So . . . there won't be any Eriol-doppelganger then?"
The next day was very quiet as everyone was recuperating from the previous night's excitement.
"Nope . . ." Kero-ette beamed, and lay back on the bed. She folded her arms back under her head, blowing a lock of her hair out of her eyes. She grinned in her off duty form, "It's kinda nice, y'know . . . knowing that's it's over, finally . . ." She sat up and glanced at Meilin, who was sitting on the floor with the cards. "Guess that means Clow wasn't such an idiot as we thought he was . . ."
He jumped, and landed neatly on the Moon Shrine's gate top easily . . .
"Don't say that!" YukiYue-Bella protested, "You just know when you say it's gonna be alright, *everything* goes completely and utterly wrong!!"
"You think so?" Meilin blinked and looked at YukiYue-Bella as she walked in, "Mind you . . . final judgement does imply finished, fineto, stopped . . ."
"Ha!" YukiYue-Bella scoffed, "You think that stops Clow Reed . . . dead implies the same thing but look at Eriol and Fujitaka!!"
"You've got a point . . ." Meilin frowned slightly.
. . . His female companion landed near by, fluttering her wings once . . .
"Ah, don't be such a pessimist!!" Kero-ette waved her hand, "Maybe Clow's not as stupid as you maintain, besides . . . if Eriol's half of Clow, and Fujitaka is half of Clow . . . what more can he come back as . . ." She sat up, and leant on her elbows, "A whole?"
YukiYue-Bella frowned deeper, "I'm just saying we should at least be expecting the unexpected!" She chewed on a double-toffee-kernel of popcorn, "We can't expect Clow not to pull something like that . . ."
Meilin grabbed a handful of popcorn and picked at it slowly, "Clow said that I shouldn't forget that E equals see are squared . . ."
"What does that mean?" Kero-ette threw some popcorn in the air and caught it as YukiYue-Bella got up and picked out a piece of paper and a pen.
. . . his male companion jumped up, but misjudged the distance and went flying right past the ledge. His female companion sighed and shook her head, as he chuckled.
E = see are 2 . . .
YukiYue-Bella wrote down, "Are you sure it's See and Are?"
"Why what else could it be?" It would be pretty random if it was . . . Meilin blinked as a memory came back to her . . .
Eriol smiled patronisingly, "Your . . . that's as in it is your possession . . . Laces . . . as in your shoe laces, as in the shoes that you are wearing on your feet . . . Are . . . that's the word 'are', not the letter . . . Undone . . . meaning they are not tied, they are no longer in the knot that you tied them in . . ."
"It could be the letter . . ." Meilin murmured, "In fact . . . maybe I've been wrong, maybe they meant the letter C and the letter R!!"
YukiYue-Bella wrote that down and the equation now read:
E=CR2
"What can *that* mean?" Kero-ette peered at it, she nudged YukiYuki-Bella, "It reminds me of your shampoo!"
YukiYue-Bella nodded as Meilin looked up quizzically, "What?"
"CR Moonlight . . . the CR stands for Clow Reed . . ." YukiYue-Bella pointed at the equation, "Do you think Clow's done something?"
The other two stared at the equation, and frowned deeply. Knowing Clow . . . and the Author . . . it was probably something that only made sense to a sick and twisted mind.
"Yes . . . I have . . ."
He paused on the New Card Mistress' house and looked down. His black cloak swished quietly as he tapped his staff, his two companions looked down. Their shadows stretched across the roof. He smiled, "Hey . . . my shadow looks like Darth Vader . . ." he glanced at his two companions, "Think it means anything deep and meaningful?"
-----------------------------------
[Cue Brand Spanking New Ending Music – To The Ending Song 'Fruits Candy' with Yue-Bella singing]
Come on!
Let's go, Cardcaptor!
You're the Magic Girl, now, Meilin!
Come on! You'd better be ready, now!
Take on that big blunder, girl!!
You'd think it was the end, but you're wrong, wrong, wrong.
What with you being the card mistress an' all, y'know,
But you find it's not,
Not with Clow Reed, that idiot! He just never stops.
Gees, I had to live with him!
Oh!
Now, Cardcaptor listen up,
You've got a fight before you,
But don't worry, you'll pull through,
Because . . .
You, me, Kero-ette. Simple.
Come on!
Let's go, Cardcaptor!
You're the Magic Girl, now, Meilin!
Come on! You'd better be ready, now!
Cardcaptor . . . Meilin!!
-----------------------------------
And now it's time for Leave It To Kero-ette
Kero-ette: KONN—NIII—CHIII—WAAAAAAA!!! [Burst into tears] Welcome to the last series of Whoops, Didn't Mean To Do That! [Shakes head and cheers up again] We've got to try our best now!! Come on!! Let's do it together!! Make this the best series yet!! Let's do our best!! Wai, Wai, Wai!! Two-four-six-eight, who do we appreciate?!! Cardcaptor Meilin!! All right now? Let's do it!!
[Presses face against screen] Kero-ette-chan check!! Do Your thing!!
Where to start? Meilin's final judgement costume was so beautiful, but let's concentrate on the important things!! What am I saying?! In the Magic Girl world there's nothing more important than the costume!! Meilin looked stunning today, especially with these ribbons!! Wai! That Magic Girl can really do everything!! [Rolls eyes] she even made the Gaki look okay!! Now, for something else interesting, Meilin's new staff is brilliant, did you check it out?! Excellent move Meilin!!
[Sits behind low table, on pillow, and sips at cocktail] Wai, what a packed show, and there more . . . but [sniffles] there's only a little more left! [Wipes eyes] But we'll keep our courage up, and remember to always, always keep your heart happy, Meilin!! Anyway, please R&R and come back for the next energy giving part of Whoops, Didn't Mean To Do That!
[Waves] Hon na na!!
----------------------------------
Preview
Meilin: WHAAAAAAAAA?!?! There's another transfer student arriving in our class?! And what's this Yuki-Bella? There's a new student in your class, and he won't let go of Nakuru-chan?! Why? Eh?! Kero-ette-chan, what did you see in the park today?! Oh no . . . something gives me the feeling it's not completely over yet!!
Meilin and the Not-So-Mysterious Transfer Student!
Next time on 'Whoops! Didn't Mean To Do That!' Come with me, Cardcaptor Meilin!
Release!