St. Jimmy: Where the hell have you been Lokli?
L2: With yo momma.
St. Jimmy: Would you want to talk to a saint like that?
L2: Just because you're a saint doesn't mean you're better than me. You're not even a real saint.
St. Jimmy runs and cries in a corner
Sorry everybody for waiting so long to update. I just needed the right inspiration, and that came today in the form of Jay and Silent Bob strike back. Now don't strike back, but sit back and enjoy the next chapter of Dr. Feelgood.
Asian man: OMG IT'S GAHZILLA.
It was that fateful day that I lost ownership to Naruto, Jay and Silent Bob, and St. Jimmy.
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Narrator's POV
We open this chapter panning in on Gaara and Kankarou standing in front of a convenience store.
Gaara sings
Fk, fk, fk
Mother, mother fk
Mother, mother, fk, fk
Mother fk, mother fk
Noich noich noich
1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4
Noich noich noich
Smokin weed, smokin wiz
Doin coke drinkin beers
Drinkin beers, beers, beers
Rollin fattys, smokin blunts
Kankurou moves his hands in a questioning manner remaining completely silent, while Gaara continues singing
Who smokes the blunts?
Then Kankurou points at himself and Gaara, as Gaara says,
We smoke the blunts
Rollin blunts and smoking…
And Gaara was interrupted as Kiba and Shino walk up to Gaara and Kankurou and ask, "Yo can we get a nickel bag?" As Gaara starts to sing again,
Fifteen bucks, little man
Put that shit, in my hand
If that money doesn't show
Then you owe me, owe me, owe
Then Jay and silent Bob look at each other, wait scratch that, Gaara and Kankurou look at each other, and Gaara continues,
My jungle love, yeah
Owe-ee, owe-ee, owe
I think I want to know ya, know ya
Then Gaara stops singing, noticing the curious looks on Kiba's and Shino's faces. "Yeah, what?" Garra ask them.
Kiba then speaks up, "What the hell are you singing?"
"You don't know 'Jungle Love'?" Gaara ask the two, "That is the mad notes. Written by God herself, and sent down to the greatest band in the world: The mother-freakin Time."
"You mean the guys in the Prince movie?" Shino questioned.
"Yeah, Purple Rain." Kiba replied.
"Man that was so gay, freakin eighties style." After this remark by Shino, Gaara, using his shukaku hand, smashed the bug boys head against the wall, instantly crushing his skull and killing him.
"Yo man just gimme my weed." Kiba said as Gaara gladly obliged.
"I was gonna clean my room
But then I got high"
"WTF was that?" Gaara asked, looking around all nervous.
"I was gonna find the broom
But I got high"
Kiba quickly informed them, "No worries man, it's just my phone."
"Where you at?" came the familiar voice of Naruto, after Kiba opened his huge, extremely old phone.
"I'm at the Quick Stop, whatchu need?"
"Get to my secret place now, we're doin some re-con work."
"Aight fox-boy I'll be there in a few."
"See ya then man."
"Later."
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Back to Naruto's POV/ At Naruto's little shack in the middle of the forest
Knock knock knock
"I'm comin." I shouted to the door as I heard the banging.
Knock knock knock
"I told you I'm comin." I reinterated.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK
Just for this I decided to have a little fun, so I put my eye to the peep hole in the door, and dog-kid did exactly as I thought he would. Kiba put his eye right up to the peep hole, you know how when you spend so much time at the door, you, for some reason, put your eye to the outside of the peep hole, and right when he did it I knocked the door open as hard as I could.
The only downside is I broke his nose, so we fixed it up real quick and we were finally back on track.
"Ok so what did you call me here for?" The boy standing opposite me asked.
"Well, moron, if you were in the know, you would know, that the girls were meeting for lunch today." I replied.
"So?" He asked.
"Yet another foolish question, from a foolish mind. Well, I guess you don't know what girls talk about when they get together." I answered the idiotic question, not being able to imagine the moronetics (1) used for the next question.
"And pretell what that is."
"Ok you goddamn, freaking… ug… stupid" obviously I had run out of insults so I just winged it, "They talk about boys, rate them on the hotty scale, play marry, screw, and kill…" at this I was cut off.
"What's marry, screw, and kill?"
"Damn man, do I have to talk you through everything, like a movie or a really stupid story?" For some reason we looked around as if for a camera, or someone watching us. "Well marry, screw, and kill is a game men or women can play, but men aren't really allowed to play because it's "sexist", because it's "judging women on their looks". But all that aside, it is a game where a woman picks three male specimens, and ask another woman which one she would marry, which one she would screw, and which one she would kill." I replied.
"Ok I get it… would you explain it to me again?"
After a long sigh and an hour of explaining he… well he still didn't understand, but we decided to just continue with the plan. "Ok look I got hidden cameras all over the village hooked up to my computer, so we can watch anyone at anytime."
"Why the hell do you have hidden cameras all over the village?" Kiba asked me.
"Is all you can do is ask questions? Well when I was little an got the crap kicked out of me, I was plotting to destroy the village but because of my A.D.D. I gave up on that. Shut up here they come."
I watched as Hana, Hinata, Tenten, Ino, Sakura, and Temari filed into the restaurant, sat down and ordered. Then Tenten spoke up. "Ok guys it's time to play the game." And all the girls cheered. "Just we aren't allowed to use Naruto, or else we all know what the outcome would be. Hinata you're first. Let's see. Chouji, Kiba, and, oh Kankurou, yeah him."
"Well let's see, we got a fat boy, a pervert, and… I have no idea what to call Kiba. Well I guess I would…"
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(1) Moronetics: the science of being a fool/ moron/ idiot
Sorry guys I gotta call it here. It's 5:40 in the morning, but this chapter was my little tribute to the great Kevin Smith. If you can tell me the names of the main characters in Clerks and Clerks 2 you get extra awesomeness points, and I'm sorry if I sounded sexist. All that aside, I want to thank you for boosting me to thirty reviews. Till next time, remember don't bad mouth Jay and Silent Bob becase they will come to your house and beat the shit out of you.