I know what you're thinking, "OMFGWTFROFLMFAO, He's updating so soon." Well I was in the mood but for those of you cunfoosed aboot Gaara singing, like I said, I got my inspiration from jay and silent bob strike back, it's the beginning of the movie. But I have decided that, like Kevin Smith, Gaara and Kankurou will be regular characters in the serious as Gaara and silent Kankurou. Well let's get on with the tastiness, YUM.
I once owned Naruto but one day the most ruthless organization ever took it from me. More power-hungry than Akatsuki and even more evil than the IRS, it was, DUN DUN DUN, THE GIRLSCOUTS!
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Two figures approaching the Konoha Moobies
"Hey man, where is this dealer you were talkin about?" Kisame asked Itachi as they made their way to the fast-food restaurant for some weed and munchies.
"Well," The psychotic Uchiha replied, "I remember that they moved, and they're around here somewhere. Hey there they are." The short man said as they approached Gaara and Kankurou. "Hey man, why is "EAT PUSSY" written on the wall?" He asked Gaara and silent Kankurou.
"Yo man, I think some guy is leaving for Florida today, so he decided to go out with a bang." The red-haired boy replied.
"Whatever, just gimme my weed."
"Fifteen bucks, little man. Put that shit in my hand" The jinchuriki replied.
"Oh yeah, he likes to sing." Itachi informed Kisame.
Kisame looked confused and the spoke, "Yeah, singing stupid songs is totally gay."
"Here ya go. Hey let's grab a bite while we're here." Itachi said, giving the money to the glaring Gaara.
So Kisame and Itachi walked into the Moobies, but had to wait in line, while some guy in front of them, and the guy behind the counter were arguing about Star Wars and Lord of the Rings. "Well, since we have to wait in line, why don't you tell me a little more about that plan of yours?" Kisame asked politely.
"Well man ya see, I launched this gene-altering drug to make Naruto become…" But they were cut off as we pan outside to Gaara and silent Kankurou, because they had just found some good techno music on the radio.
As the song came on Gaara responded with an "Oh" and pulled out his chap-stick and rubbed it on his lips sloppily, and says to an invisible person, "Would you screw me? I would screw me." Then he backed up from the "person" and began to rub his nipples.
With this we go back inside Moobies to where the Lord of the Rings enthusiast was lying, unconscious, on the floor, and Itachi was finishing his statement, "And that's how everything works out so that we get Naruto."
"Man that plan sounds stupid, improbable, and probably impossible, but you know the chance of an improbable plan working is upped by 45 percent in an anime, and upped by 50 percent in a story, so this is almost full-proof." Kisame replied. "Hey man, can I get an, um, an egg-mc-moobie muffin."
"That's what I'm talking about man, yo get me a moobie burger." Itachi said to Kisame and the clerk. "Thanks man."
As the two evil-doers left, the last thing they saw was Gaara wearing silent Kankurou's black coat, holding it out like a cape, wearing nothing but the coat, with his penis tucked between his legs. "Ok that was messed up, I don't usually start seeing things like that till I'm high." Kisame said to Itachi.
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At Naruto's secret shack in the forest where the two boys are watching the girls on the computer.
"Ok, dog-dunce, let's see how you match up to Chouji and some perverted, silent, drug dealer. Let's watch."
"Well I don't know, I mean Chouji is a nice person, always jolly and has a good appetite so he would never really care how bad I cooked. Kankurou is perverted, and a mute, but he is a strong fighter, and if we were to marry, or make whoopee and have a child it would strengthen the bond between Konoha and Suna. And Kiba is… well…um… Kiba is my team-mate." Hinata stated to the pack of girls.
"Yeah take that Naruto, you'll never get to be her team-mate." Kiba said, cockily, to me, while I sweat-dropped.
"Well I guess I would marry…"
"LADIES, LADIES, LADIES, GAARA AND SILENT KANKUROU ARE IN THE HIZOUSE."
"What the hell are those two stoners doing there?" I asked, well nobody in particular, because Kiba, he decided, was too dumb to converse with.
"Hey," Kiba said to me, "Have you noticed today how those two have been popping up in random places doing stupid things?"
"Kiba I kinda figured I would never say this, but damnit you're right."
"Hey, you shouldn't be eating that crap." Gaara said to the group of girls, "It makes girls fart."
"Damnit Gaara," Temari said, "Girls don't fart. I've told you that a million times."
"Yo whatever sis, I got things to do, later girls. Come on lunchbox." Silent Kankurou quietly went along with Gaara, and throughout the day they had many shenanigans.
"I don't know what that was about." Ino said, "But they seriously freak me out."
"Try livin with 'em, but forget them, what is it Hinata, who would you marry, screw, and kill?"
"Well, I guess I would marry Chouji, and sorry Temari, but I would screw Kiba, ad kill Kankurou."
At this, the boy beside me was going wild with glee, not realizing that he just barely beat a perverted, drug-dealing mute.
"Temari I just couldn't take silent sex, and Kiba would at least howl or some stupid shit like that."
"It's cool Hinata, dinner at our house sucks, because it's so quiet." The Suna kunoichi replied.
"But Gaara is always so loud." Tenten stated.
"Well Gaara is only loud when he's in Konoha, because I think the great pot growing conditions is why they call it the hidden leaf in the first place, but Kankurou is always quiet, because he is such an expendable character."
"Ooooooh." Said all the girls, happy to be enlightened.
As the game continued, the regular pairings came up, you know Sakura/Sasuke, Ino/chouji, Temari/Shikamaru, etc. But for some reason Kiba was always the one they killed.
"Well there ya go, moron" I said, "All the girls killed you but one, are you happy?"
"Hell yeah, anyways those girls couldn't kill me if they tried." He replied cockily, "Men are naturally stronger than women."
"You damn idiot, any girl could kick your ass, and boys are not naturally stronger than girls, you sexist bastard." I told him irritably, while he crawled into a corner and cried, having known what I said to be true.
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At Ichiraku ramen
"There we go blondie, eighty three beef ramen to go." The old man told me over the sound of boiling ramen, and clanging pots.
"Thanks old man." I said as I left for my home, but that's when I saw Hana running at me, locking lips with me before I could say anything.
"Hey Naruto." She said to me as our lips parted, "How are you today?"
"I've been better, my eyes have been stinging like a bitch today, but I feel good now." I told her. She then moved right in front of me and looked directly into my eyes.
She then gave me her analysis, "They seem a little red, you might want to get that checked out."
"Yeah I'll probably talk to Oba-chan later." I told the dog girl, and that's when I got the thought, 'How the hell is the sister of a complete moron, so beautiful and smart?' I pushed the thought to the back of my mind as she spoke up.
"I really enjoyed myself the other night Naruto, I was curious if we could do it again?"
"Yeah sure how about tomorrow night?" I asked the girl.
"That sounds great Naru-kun, pick me up at seven." She said as she turned around and left.
"I'll be there." I yelled to the departing figure of the Inuzuka girl. "Now," I said to myself, "Time for me to eat some ramen."
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There you have it another chapter of Dr. Feelgood, I hope you enjoyed, yadda-yadda-yadda. I have no idea when the next chapter will be out or if anyone is still reading this, but I wanna send some awesomeness points to Midnight angel of darkness. Well drop me some reviews. L2 OUT.