Even with Lindsey around he found it damn near impossible to keep his hands off her. He'd refrained for the most part, especially since she'd voiced that maybe they should keep their relationship between them for as long as they could manage, at least until her contract with the company was up. Of course he'd grumbled and tried to argue that it didn't matter, that he didn't care what people thought or what was said about him, but then she quietly reminded him that it wouldn't be him the gossip was centered around.

He knew he could trust Linds, especially after what he pulled off today, and Wes too, but there was something about knowing that whatever was between them was just their's, that made him want to put off any revelations a while longer. Though the theory of it all was proving much easier than the reality.

Coming up behind her, his arms wrapped around her waist, gently tugging her away from the counter she'd been wiping down after their meal. Dipping down, his lips pressed against her neck, "Would you stop acting like you have to clean up after us?" he murmured softly.

She let out a small giggle, "Oh, 'cause the two of you have proven so great at taking care of yourselves." She felt his chest rumble against her, glancing around the corner she could see Lindsey still engrossed in whatever game they had on. She was still having a hard time believing any of this was really happening. Turning around in his arms, her own wandered up finding their way around his neck. Feeling the air between them shift, she let herself get lost for a moment when his mouth slotted over her own.

Lindsey cleared his throat, then when the two of them finally broke apart he gave them a quick once over, his brow rising when his gaze finally met Angel's who made no move to let go of the blonde in his arms. "Needed a beer," he smirked, grabbing one of the cans from the fridge before giving Buffy a quick wink.

Angel watched unflinching as Lindsey made his way back to the living room, chuckling lightly as he went. He was making light of it now, but he already knew that the man would have a line of questions waiting for him, whenever he managed to get him cornered anyway.

"Sorry," he told her softly, then lifting her up onto the counter's edge he started trying to remind her of all the reasons Lindsey wasn't anything to worry about.

Even though she was pretty sure her face matched the bag of tomatoes beside her, her head shook, "It's fine," she half groaned, "Though I'm pretty sure I might prefer being the center of all the gossip over Lindsey's scrutiny."

That made Angel laugh as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, then he touched his forehead to hers, his expression becoming more serious. "I'll deal with him," he promised, "Just tell me you're still okay with all of this, with us," he added softly.

She felt those strings that had been slowly weaving their way around her heart tighten even further. She still didn't understand why he seemed so vulnerable at times, "Angel," she breathed sweetly, "I'm not going anywhere," he nose rubbed against his, "At least not that easily."

OoOoO

"You know I'd probably be enjoying this movie a lot more if I'd been able to ride the damn ride," Lindsey groaned from his spot on the sofa across from them.

Her head pillowed against his chest, she could almost feel Angel's eye roll. "Are you really still stuck on that?"

"I'm just saying, your girls got me watching this damn movie because of some ride that I've never even got to see."

Not for the first time, she wondered again how either of them had been able to withhold such a professional demeanor. She chimed in. "You know, you kind of have to see the movie in order to even enjoy the ride right?"

Lindsey let out an audible huff, then flicked his hand as if to wave her off. "I'm sure there's plenty of people who's done the opposite, case in point," he side eyed the two of them.

"Would you shut up already, do you want to take Monday off and go to Disneyland," Angel questioned, leaning up just enough to grab the small blanket folded at their feet and spread it over them. "Also," Buffy added, "I've seen the movies, like a lot so you can't even group me in that."

"You can't group me in that," Lindsey mocked, "And no why would I want a whole day off to go to Disneyland all alone," his arms crossed over his chest as though he was a child, and Buffy had to suppress a laugh.

Angel groaned this time, "You're being ridiculous you know that right."

Lindsey just grunted in response.

Reaching around Angel, she grabbed hold of the remote and hit the button to pause the movie. "Well if you don't want to go alone, why don't we all go together sometime next month, kill two birds with one stone," she smirked," Get this one out of the office, and you'll be able to ride the damn rides," her eyes flickered down to Angel's. "They'll have hot chocolate stands set up, and fake snow," her teeth raked over her lip, and he wondered why she still felt like she had to convince him of anything. Without thought his hand slipped beneath the hem of her shirt, his thumb tracing light circles against the softness of her back.

Lindsey was trying to keep a straight face, but she could see that damn twinkle behind his eye. "Whatever," he finally grumbled, and she felt Angel release a breath, "Thank God," he mumbled more to her than anyone else. "Now can we please finish the damn movie."

OoOoO

He wasn't sure they'd even made it through half the movie before he felt her breath soften against him. He honestly couldn't care less about the film, and if he were asked probably wouldn't be able to tell her much more than it centered around pirates… but just like all the other times he found the time he could spend getting lost in the soft body pressed against him was infinite.

He'd been so lost in thought he'd almost forgotten Lindsey was still there, or he'd just assumed he too had fallen asleep, but either way when his voice broke the silence around them he found himself nearly jumping out his skin. "I really hope for all our sakes you don't find some way to go and screw this up," his friend's voice bellowed through the quiet room, all the playfulness in his voice from earlier gone.

Angel sighed, "I don't deserve her Linds. What if she wakes up one day and sees me for who I really am?"

Lindsey sat silently for a few moments watching the two of them, hell he himself wasn't sure what Angel's grumpy ass had gone and done to deserve someone like that girl, but he was damn glad for it. "What if she already does?"

OoOoO

When Angel had finished somehow managing to get back up to his feet, all with Buffy in tow no less, and without even stirring her once from what he could tell, Lindsey called out to him before he started off toward bed for the night and reminded him this conversation about him and Buffy finally jumping off that cliff into whatever in the hell this was destined to be was not in fact over.

Angel yawned, his shoulders shrugging. "Yeah, yeah," he mumbled.

There was a ton he had yet to touch on when it came to that particular subject but Lindsey didn't want to press things too hard right off the bat. He couldn't be happier that the two of them stopped acting like they didn't see what was right in front of their damn faces but not everything was as simple as that either.

The urge to try and get ahead of any of Angel's usual bullshit hung in the air still. Whatever hold Buffy had over his friend was unlike anything he'd ever seen and everything that seemed to go hand in hand with one Buffy Summers was so far from fucking normal in Angel's little world and he knew that damn asshole too well. He'd seen him at his worst more times than he could count, and Lindsey knew first hand all too well why nothing like this had ever come close to happening before, why he was so closed off from basically anybody and everybody better than anyone on this planet, and hell he knew how Angel could simply just go into some spiral if he started down some of those familiar dark thoughts. And that's what worried him the most about all these new developments.

Angel's go to when it came to just about any sort of light in his world usually was met with a guilt he personally hoped to never have to experience first hand. Lindsey didn't know how many times he'd had to remind Angel that it was okay to not live in a state of misery every second of the day, not that any of that seemed to get through to him until now, at least not steadily or anything more than the few things he still held on to such as these holiday get togethers and other random pieces of their lives. He didn't know how many times he had tried to get it through that damn man's head that not a single person who he lost had spent their last moments wishing his ass was there too, and hell Lindsey knew he couldn't prove it but every time Angel went on one of those spiels his mind always flashed straight to members of Angel's lost family and how all he could imagine going through in all that chaos was the complete opposite, each of them being thankful Angel wasn't in fact there, being thankful that he still had a chance to do whatever in the hell he wanted with his life.

Rubbing a tired hand down his face, he cocked his head back to catch a glimpse of Angel once more before he disappeared too far up the stairs and thought to himself he'd better go crash soon his own self if he was going to get through tomorrow.

OoOoO

Once he managed to get back upstairs, Angel got Buffy all settled back on his bed before hurrying to clean up a little before returning to join her.

Part of him felt terrified to close his eyes again, scared to death that if he did when he woke back up everything would vanish all over again. Looking Buffy over, he brushed a stray flyaway piece of hair from her face and whispered down to her that she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He didn't understand it, but he figured he didn't have to in the end, just be thankful and try not to fuck it up was his only current plan.

Even with her right here beside him he still felt like he needed to pinch himself or something to make sure it was real, that today had taken the turns it had, that everything had truly happened and wasn't just some crazy fantasy in his head.

OoOoO

As she began to slowly wake up, more comfortable and warm than any damn person should probably ever be at that, all wrapped up and pressed against Angel's still sleeping form, Buffy's mind quickly began shifting through how the past twenty four hours of her life had played out and how all of that had led to the here and now. Buffy's heart thundered in her chest as she stalled over some of those "greatest hits" moments that had come about, and did simply over the fact she still couldn't believe that this was real life.

A real life where Angel and her were together.

Buffy wasn't sure if there would ever come a time when the idea of Angel wanting to be with her wouldn't just completely make her brain want to explode its way out of her head and as though her entire life had just been flipped upside down onto itself, but she knew she wasn't there right now. Not by a long shot.

OoOoO

Buffy's bottom lip got caught between her teeth as Angel slowly started to wake up beside her, one eye squinting open at her for a moment then his head lifting slightly off the pillow to get a better look at her before she whispered a "Hi" at him.

Angel's chest rumbled out a noise as his arms pulled tighter around her, her body shifted to face him better, head tucking comfortably under his chin. After a moment, he questioned whether or not he needed to be worried about her having second thoughts about the two of them or if she had any "morning after" regrets brewing in that head of hers.

Tilting her head back enough to be able to see his face, Buffy shook her head, "Not a one," she answered.

Angel seemed to appreciate the reassurance and it wasn't long until she was rolled under his warm body, feeling his hands tangled up in her hair, his mouth teasing at her own.

Having already been laying here all caught up in memories of yesterday, remembering in perfect detail how Angel had felt against her, it took little effort to find herself completely lost in him, her whole body feeling warm and needy. One of her small hands wasted no time finding its way under the loose waistband of the sweatpants he had on and reaching through his boxer shorts until she felt him.

Angel hissed out a string of curses next to her ear, his hips shifting enough to give her more room to explore. Buffy remained tentative at first, her fingers lightly grasping at him before sliding one finger down his length, then back up again, but even that made her breath start to come out heavily uneven.

Angel groaned softly when she repeated the action, her eyes flickering over to him, continuing to stare him down as she grew bolder, gripping him firmly she stroked the swollen flesh slowly, loving the way the velvety skin felt against her fingers. Fighting against his eyes rolling back, he groaned again before dipping his head and slotting his mouth over hers.

OoOoO

She had no idea how he'd managed to get her in such a position, though she wasn't really surprised after their time together yesterday. She wasn't sure which one of them craved the other more, and that knowledge made her feel a constant ache. At some point he'd had her feeling like some sort of acrobat flipping her all around, spreading her thighs across his face. Watching his cock twitch in front of her, she tried to push away all the insecurities she was feeling in that particular moment, especially the ones about how he was managing to breathe… Almost as though he could sense her anxiety, his grip tightened around her hips, fingers biting into her ass he pulled her more firmly against his mouth.

She tensed for just a second before her body simply stopped listening to her command, her hips rocking against him all on their own. Wanting to drive him just as crazy she dipped her head leaving hot wet kisses down his abdomen following the small trail of hairs until she met the base of his cock.

A whole new string of curses flew from him when he felt her warm mouth encircle him, almost immediately taking him as far as she could manage over and over again.

"Jesus, Beautiful," he groaned against her when she didn't relent, then nipping at her thigh he waited until she couldn't help but release him to flip her back around. "You're fucking incredible," he breathed, feeling her warmth surrounding him in one smooth motion as he guided her knees right back around his waist.

All she could do was hold on while he set a rhythm lifting her effortlessly, then filling her completely over and over again.

OoOoO

He'd barely rolled off her when Lindsey started pounding on the door, causing Buffy to nearly jump out of her skin. "It's locked," he chuckled softly, placing a few random kisses to the back of her shoulder.

Lindsey started knocking again, then, "Don't even try to act like your ass is asleep," came next.

"Can we just kick him out and make him go home?" Angel asked, only half joking as she spun around to face him and grinned, "No way mister, as much as I would really really love a whole day in bed with you, that isn't going to be today."

"It's Thanksgiving, and you have a whole other friend probably already on their way."

"But you want to?" he asked softly, his arm tightening just a little more around her. "Spend the day in bed with me I mean."

She wasn't sure she would ever get used to this softer vulnerable side of him. The side of him that was under the delusion that somehow he was the one winning here. Scooting up a little so she could see him better she lightly traced her finger across his brow, "I already told you," she whispered, "No regrets."

"Promise?"

Instead of answering him she held her pinkie up, he looked between her and it for a couple seconds not sure if she was being serious or not, but then before she had the chance to change her mind he intertwined his own with it.

"Pinky promise."

As absurd as it was, the small gesture actually made him feel better. Shaking his head he couldn't help but chuckle as he started to roll her back beneath him, his mouth seeking the small patch below her ear that he'd already figured out pretty much turned her to mush.

"I swear to God if you don't get your asses up I'll pick the damn lock," came Lindsey's voice from the other side of the door. Not surprisingly he'd almost forgotten the asshole was even there.

OoOoO

"So how was your morning?" Lindsey asked, his famous shit eating grin plastered across his face.

Even though he was pretty sure it was one of the hardest things he'd had to do in his life up until that point, he'd let her shoo him away once they got out of the shower so she could get dressed and he could deal with whatever it was Lindsey wanted. Which just like he'd told her turned out to be a big nothing, in some ways Linds would forever be freaking twelve, like earlier when he couldn't find the damn lucky charms.

Angel grumbled under his breath about it being fine while getting out a couple of pans to start something for breakfast. Well, something more substantial than fucking marshmallows anyway. Which only caused Lindsey to start laughing, "Would you fucking relax, shesh," he finished drinking the rest of the milk from his bowl. "Scouts honor, I won't knock on the door, or come interrupting the two of ya' for anything else the rest of the weekend. I mean it doesn't seem like the girl's going anywhere, besides you better get used to letting her breathe a little unless you really want to give the office," he paused for a second, "Hell the whole damn town something to talk about."

Angel rolled his eyes, "I'm sure there's plenty of things besides my personal life for everyone to talk about, I'm really not that interesting."

Lindsey shrugged, "Can't say I disagree with you, but her, snagging you, now that's something that's going to peak a whole bunch of interest. You know I'm coming to ya with the best of intentions here man, you care about her…"He let that statement just linger for a while, "A whole hell of lot more than you've ever cared about anyone in a long damn time anyways, and like it or not that alone paints a pretty big freaking target on her back. The longer you can keep things quiet, the better off things will be." It also would make damage control a lot fucking smoother should the two of them not work out for whatever reason but he kept that part to himself.

Stupidly, he hadn't even thought about the points that Linds brought up. He'd been so wrapped up in her and everything going on between them, he hadn't really had the time to dwell on what all she would have to sacrifice in order to be with him. Linds was right, whether he liked it or not he lived with a big spotlight pointed in his direction, ya things weren't as bad as they had been years back right after his family was murdered but there was still the occasional paparazzi, and it wasn't unusual to see his face or name plastered across some trash magazine.

Not to mention the whole danger aspect of it all. Yes the man who slain his family was behind bars for the rest of his natural life, but that didn't mean there wouldn't be some other looney out there desperately seeking some way to score his next fix.

OoOoO

She couldn't help but sense that something wasn't quite right. After she came back downstairs, Angel just seemed like he was locked inside his own head and she wasn't so sure she was the one to be concerned about right now when it came to morning after regrets or second thinking what was going on between the two of them after many failed attempts to try and cheer him up or get him to talk about whatever was troubling him. He just kept glossing over everything, whispering that everything was fine and not to worry, but he was doing a crap job of making her actually believe that.

She had tried to ignore it at first too, busying herself around the kitchen to help out with what the boys were doing, or trying to set this or that up for the day ahead, or simply trying to make small talk... then when Wes made his appearance not too long after they'd all gotten up and started the day she kind of drifted off toward the living room, staying out of the way.

Telling herself not to take whatever was going on to heart and let her worries get the best of her... well, that was a little easier said than done. She had no idea what happened between them being all lost in one another yet again upstairs this morning and when she'd joined back up with them but she sure didn't like any of it.

OoOoO

Despite the war raging on inside of him, Angel tried to keep it under wraps the best he could, plus there was realizing he wasn't doing himself any favors at the moment when it came to Buffy if he was going to be shutting down and basically pushing her away while he tried to figure things out.

Asking her to come help again, Angel wrapped his arms around her and whispered an apology and tried to put his best face forward. Today was supposed to be perfect... and he was failing rather boldly at that task.

OoOoO

"Come with me," Lindsey finally told Angel as he found him zoning out once again, Buffy's eyes glanced their way and he shot her a smile before leading Angel outside, quickly turning around to face his best friend. "Alright, so maybe I threw a lot at you this morning but can I make it very clear that I think whatever's going on with you and that girl is in fact a good thing. Possibly the best of choices you've made in God knows how long at that... I just think being careful about how you go about things is very important given who you are and how you conduct your damn life... but that doesn't mean go run back into your shell and not bother trying to have one in the first place. She deserves better than that if nothing else."

Angel sighed, reaching over to grab one of the patio chairs and drag it closer to him so he could take a seat. "This wasn't supposed to be my life, Linds," he grumbled.

Lindsey crossed his arms over his chest. "I know that." Hell, he knew better than anyone the cards that had been dealt Angel's way were unfair, unwanted.

"Yesterday Buffy's voicing concerns about anyone finding out about us, hell didn't even want you knowing anything," Angel started, making Lindsey snicker, like he wasn't already aware that shit was stirred up between these two, "because of how that'll probably reflect on her. And that has it's points, I get that.. I mean my knee jerk reaction here was to be upset, to not feel like I need to hide something, let alone that I happen to be falling in love with the first good fucking thing that's happened to me. I didn't want to feel or make her feel like some dirty secret but I tried to see her side of things and understand that I may just come with a different set of issues than every Average Joe out there. Alright, fine. But, you know what? You're right, she's right... it's all more than office gossip, I'll probably be painting a target for the entire town on her. Hell, more than likely putting her in danger to boot and what in the hell am I supposed to do with that?"

"I don't think anyone's going to actually try and harm her, Angel," Lindsey said softly, earning an annoyed look from Angel and he held up a hand, nodding his head slightly. "I'm not saying it couldn't happen, just I don't think that should be the top of your worries. As for the rest... I wish I had a better answer for you on what you should do... but I'm sure you'll figure it out. Let yourself have time to figure it out instead of trying to fuck something up before it really even has a chance to get started."

Angel leaned back into the chair, rubbing a hand down his face. He had never wanted this damn job, he didn't want a place in the company let alone being in charge of the whole damn thing, he never wanted a spotlight on him, he never wanted any of this.

"For the first time since my world fell apart I finally have a sliver of happiness, and it's not even just some tiny bright light pushing its way through, it's like she came into a haunted house and lit the fucker up. For the first time there's some sort of real idea before me that I could have more in this life than lurking back here with the demons, buried under this legacy but now all I see is how that's going to ruin her. It really can't be both ways can it?"

Closing his eyes, Angel tried to ignore the squeezing sensation in his chest. He was so fucking used to being miserable and alone. He had literally no one beyond Lindsey and Wes all this time. He was the only one left standing from his family, there were no distant relatives, everyone who'd once been had already passed... then everyone who had still carried on the bloodline - exception of himself - had been in that room and they were taken, too. He was it. Everyone who'd otherwise been in his life before everything went to shit he had dropped without a second thought, there was no need for anyone.

He hadn't needed friends, he didn't need relationships. Lindsey was really only still around out of fucking stubbornness because he sure had tried his hardest to push him away for the longest time too, Wes maybe just a fluke situation when you really looked back at how that came to be.

And that was fine, it had been fine. It had all become his new normal and he'd perfected being basically on his own over all these years and accepting the fact that there really wasn't something more out there for him, that he didn't need it, that he didn't deserve it. But it wasn't as fucking simple when you added one Buffy Summers into the mix of it all.

And because of that.. now here he fucking was.

ButImBroken:

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