Tell me it's not true
Elphaba lay exhausted among the pillows on her bed, fighting sleep just to gaze upon the twins laying side by side in their bassinet beside the bed. Twelve hours had been exhausting enough for the baby boy who fought to make his way in the world. His sister took considerably less time to arrive, surprising her parents half an hour later.
"I don't understand how you can miss a second heartbeat in every one of her checks." Fiyero had complained to the midwife after delivery. "What if something had gone wrong?"
"But it hadn't. Yero, there's no use panicking and shouting the odds now, my heart." Elphaba told him gently, her arms and her heart full as she gazed down upon the two newborns against her chest, she didn't even snap at Glinda who fawned over them. Of course, she worried also, she had done her panicking when the midwife told her she wasn't done yet after a further examination. Her best friend and her mother-in-law either side of her, urging her on, giving her the strength when she herself had none. All Elphaba could think about right now was that neither child was green, they were perfectly normal with a shock of curly black hair on each head. They were pale now, but she guessed that their skin would probably darken as they grew older, like Fiyero's own.
"Fiyero you have two perfect babies. Just enjoy it." Glinda scolded.
"Fae, you really should sleep. They'll still be there when you wake up."
"No... They're too perfect..." She whispered. "They need names."
"Later, my love." He told her gently, walking around the bed to look over them himself. "They're not going anywhere."
Elphaba nodded, and succumbed to sleep in a matter of seconds.
Fiyero grinned at the two of them, and his heart jumped as his daughter started fussing and wriggling inside her blanket. "Hey, shh..." He whispered. He reached in and picked her up, and the infant quietened instantly. Her brother didn't seem to notice her absence and slept soundly. "There, see? Papa's got you." he cooed, and he melted as soon as she opened her blue eyes to look up at him. He carried her over to the window, looking out at the snow covered castle grounds, the sky still impossibly dark at four-thirty in the morning.
"Another two weeks and they'd have been Lurlinemas presents."
"If you tell Elphaba that, I'm not responsible for what she does to you." he smirked, looking over his shoulder at his blonde friend before looking back out of the window.
"Elphie wouldn't. She loves me." Glinda giggled, skipping over to him.
"She loves me too, that didn't stop her threatening to personally castrate me." he shuddered. "I could still hear her cursing me even out of the room."
"That's because you put her in that situation. I know it takes two, but your job was done." She smirked. "She's gotta carry it and then give birth. I don't have personal experience with it but I know it's not easy."
He shook his head. "Well, it won't be happening to her."
Glinda scoffed and laughed. "Oh, please, Fiyero! Oz you better hope she never turns out like you, then..."
"She's got Elphaba for a mother. She wouldn't dare."
"You've got a point..." She nodded with a smile. "But still... You can't follow her to school or on dates."
He groaned. "Can we not think about it now?"
She gave him a sympathetic look. "Alright." She nodded, she wouldn't tease him anymore... For now at least. "I'll just let you deal with Elphie when you tell her."
'Why do these women want to kill me?' he thought, and didn't comment on it, gazing down at the child once more.
Elphaba awoke a few hours later, winter sunshine spilling in through the window signalling that late morning had officially arrived. She looked around the room, finding herself alone with the babies. Carefully, she sat up and slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed, shuddering and wincing as pain shot through her body, but she wouldn't allow herself to collapse back into bed.
"Princess, what on earth are you doing?! Get yourself back into bed!" the midwife scolded harshly when she entered the room and spotted Elphaba on the edge of the bed.
The green woman glared up at her. "Excuse me? Who the hell are you to tell me what to do? I'm perfectly capable of sitting up and looking at my children, thank you!"
"You are in no physical condition to be out of bed, Mrs Tiggular. If I must get your husband -"
"Oh, by all means, go and fetch him! He'd only tell you that you're wasting your breath." Elphaba told her. "If you think I am such a wilting flower against him, you're sorely mistaken. I answer to no man, even if he is the Crown Prince. As much as I love him, he knows better than to order me around."
"And I now have to deal with a pissed off witch. Thanks for that."
The midwife turned at the sarcastic voice. "Your Highness, I was just-"
"Yes, I heard." Fiyero walked further into the room. "I also heard my very tired, very sarcastic, and very blunt wife giving you your marching orders. Now if you may."
The older woman tutted and left the room complaining none too quietly about the ignorance of youth and cursing the green witch as she went.
"Oh, if I had the energy right now..." Elphaba grumbled as Fiyero sat beside her and put his arms around her and she relaxed against him. "Have you thought of names?"
He shook his head. "Have you?"
She paused to think. "I think... Leila-Rose... And Liir." She told him after a moment.
He smiled and nodded. "Sounds perfect to me."
She grinned and looked up at him, pressing a soft kiss to his jawline.
"You missed."
"Did I, indeed?" she questioned in a cheeky tone.
He nodded with a smirk and kissed her firmly on the lips. "That's better."
She laughed and shook her head.
"Are you still nervous?"
She nodded silently.
"Hold one of them." He suggested and stood, reaching over for Leila-Rose and picked her up before gently placing her in her mother's arms.
Elphaba watched him with wide eyes and she cradled her daughter in her arms. The child awoke with a whimper at being disturbed from her sleep, staring up at her mother with wide blue eyes. The new mother stiffened, awaiting the reaction, waiting for her to burst into tears and cry for her father.
Leila-Rose stared up at her before nuzzling herself against her mother's breast, gripping the fabric of her nightgown in her tiny pale fingers.
At that, Elphaba started to cry, even though she was smiling. Relief coursed through her body, and she held her daughter tighter against her. She looked up when Fiyero sat back down again and hugged her close to his chest. "She doesn't hate me..." She whispered.
"Of course she doesn't." he chuckled softly. "You're her mother, she's never going to hate you." He kissed her head and wiped away her tears. This time, his son did notice that his sister wasn't at his side and he too woke up with a cry. Fiyero leaned over and picked up the boy, holding him in his arms. "Someone was definitely feeling left out." he smiled as Liir whimpered before quieting as he was held.
Elphaba giggled quietly. "He is his father's son after all." She shuffled uncomfortably.
"Are you alright?"
She nodded. "Still hurts a little I guess."
"Do you want to get back into bed?"
"No... It'll pass, I think." She looked down as Leila-Rose began nuzzling again, this time for food.
"You should probably sit back and do that." He suggested before she could undo her nightdress. "It might be easier for you."
"Is this your way of telling me what to do without actually doing it?" she smirked.
"She's learning." He teased, laughing when she hit his arm.
"The Cowardly Lion was braver."
He scoffed. "Oz, he really wasn't! The wind would blow a leaf off the ground he'd be climbing a tree with his tail between his legs!" he complained, which made her laugh. "It's a wonder Boq never chopped him up for the fire."
She rolled her eyes and shuffled back on to the bed, bringing her legs back in with her. Once she sat back on the back board, she started to nurse her fussing baby. She closed her eyes with a contented sigh while her husband started to gently massage her left ankle. "That feels nice."
He smiled, watching her. He didn't think it was possible to love her any more than he already did, but seeing her there, so wrapped up and so enamoured with one of their twins while she nursed, he knew he loved her more than ever. Her fears were unfounded, he knew she'd be nothing like her own mother. "You've always been beautiful. But never moreso than right now."
She blushed, not looking at him. "Stop it..."
"Never." he grinned.
"She's the one who is beautiful."
"And she takes after her mama."
She lightly kicked him, unable to respond to that. "Have your parents seen them?"
He nodded. "They came in while you slept, I told them not to wake you, but my mother already knew that."
"Come in." She called at the knock on the door, and she righted herself once Leila-Rose had had enough.
Glinda bounced into the room, her arms full of bags.
"I... I'm not even gonna ask..." Elphaba stared at her with wide eyes.
"I'm too scared to." Fiyero commented.
"Oh come on it's not that bad! You felt horrendible that you didn't enough for two so... I went out and bought some more clothes for both of them."
"Glinda... What...?" Elphaba sighed wearily. "You know what... Fine... I'm too tired to care." She smiled at her friend. "Just as long as they're not all pink!"
The blonde rolled her eyes with a grin. "Really now, Elphie! What else would you dress a girl in?! Thank Oz there are no black clothes for babies... Your wardrobe is depressing enough."
"And to think I missed you at school."
"You'll soon see. I've been telling you for a long time, pink and green are perfect together."
"You also said that about the hat. And Boq and Nessa. And you and Fiyero." She smirked.
"Yes, well... I'm right about this, and you'll not tell me any different."
That made her laugh. "If you say so, Glin."
Fiyero watched silently while the two of them battled with each other in utter confusion. "If ever our son gets confused about understanding women... I'm pointing him to you two." he said bluntly, looking around as the door opened once more.
"Pardon the intrusion, Your Highness, but the King and Queen have requested your presence. Both of you." a maid entered the room, pushing a wheelchair in front of her.
"If you think for a minute that I'm getting in that thing -"
"It would be advisable, Princess." the maid cut her off. "Your body has been through quite an ordeal and you will have difficulty with standing."
Fiyero grimaced and nodded. "She's got a point, Fae."
"I can stand! Glinda, take her for a minute." She handed Leila-Rose over to her friend and sat herself on the edge of the bed again, hiding a wince of pain at the action.
Fiyero quickly put Liir back into the bassinet and stood in front of her, watching nervously, ready to catch her should she fall.
"Your Highness, I don't think-" She was silence by his slight raise of his hand and a gentle quieting sound.
"She's as stubborn as they come. Let her try." he added. Instinct told him she wouldn't make it. Not right now at least as he spotted the slight tremors in her arms as she steadied herself.
Slowly, shakily, Elphaba pushed herself up to her feet, though she wasn't able to keep herself upright and she collapsed forward into his waiting arms, closing her eyes when he whispered gentle things in her ear. She didn't protest when she was guided into the wheelchair. "What do they want us for?" A blanket was wrapped around her.
"I presume to talk about future plans, Princess." the maid told her while Glinda handed Leila-Rose to Fiyero and Liir was placed in Elphaba's arms. They then left the bedroom leaving Glinda behind.
The green witch had long since given up telling the staff to call her by her given name, not her title. "Fine..." She sighed, keeping her eyes on Liir who stared up at his mother, tiny pale fingers gripping the ends of her dark hair with very little strength of his own, then he squirmed and fidgeted and fussed. Elphaba felt her heart constrict and tried desperately not to jump to the negative thoughts in her head. "Shh... It's okay, mama's here." She cooed gently, hoping her voice wasn't shaking as she cradled him against her chest and rubbed his back in a comforting motion. 'Please... Please don't let him hate me..' she pleaded silently as he started crying. 'Is... Is he pushing me away...?' her heart broke. "Yero... I..." her voice cracked and she looked up at him brokenly.
He quickly stopped the chair and knelt in front of her. "Fae. Fae he's alright. He's probably just hungry, and he's gonna have to wait for a few minutes." He hated seeing her distressed, he wanted to hold her. "Fae, come on. You can do this."
She shook her head, tears in her eyes. "I..."
"Yes, you can." He leaned in and kissed her.
Liir seemed to sense his father and sister nearby and his crying lessened to a snuffling against Elphaba's neck.
Fiyero chose not to comment on it and he slowly stood up again making sure he didn't jostle the other twin and they finally reached the throne room where his parents were seated.
"Is everything alright?" Eleanora asked, seeing Elphaba fight herself for composure and her son looking equally lost.
Elphaba nodded quickly, not trusting herself to speak.
Eleanora would have probed further had they been privately talking, she decided not to right now. "I apologise for pulling you out here. We'd like to make an announcement to the people on the safe delivery of your children."
The King remained silent, though growing increasingly annoyed with Elphaba and her continuing silence and refusing to look up when being spoken to.
"Of course." Fiyero answered when he saw she couldn't. He was watching her heart breaking right before him and was powerless to stop it from happening. The only thing he could do was keep his hand on her shoulder.
"Is there anything you would like to give them? Do they have names now?"
Elphaba steeled herself and forced herself to finally look up. "Leila-Rose Glinda and Liir Grantaire Tiggular." She spoke quietly for fear of her voice betraying her emotions. Liir began wailing once more, and she swore she felt the infant trying to push at her again.
"They're beautiful names, Elphaba." Eleanora told her gently.
"I think I should get her back to bed, mother." Fiyero glanced at his father, not even his son being named after him seemed to soften the man's glare at his wife. He motioned to the maid to follow him and they headed back to Elphaba's room.
Once in the privacy of the room, Elphaba tried to nurse her son, but the little boy refused to latch on. She stayed quiet as she tried and tried again until the maid reached over and gently took him.
"You can always try again when he's calmer, Princess." She told her with a reassuring smile.
"Elphie!" Glinda gasped, seeing her best friend so upset and she ran over to her and hugged her and suddenly Elphaba couldn't hold back her tears. "Oh, Elphie, shh... It's okay..." She looked up at Fiyero and she reached out her hand for him. "You'll both get through this."
Elphaba shook her head. "I... Glin, he hates me..."
"He doesn't hate you, Elphie. Oh, he doesn't."
"Is that what you think?" Fiyero asked, hoping his tone wasn't accusatory. He knelt beside Glinda in front of Elphaba and he had to force himself not to cry at the clear devastation on her face. "Fae. I need you to listen to me. Can you do that?" he waited for a nod. "Our son loves you. You've read it yourself in those countless books you insist on dragging around with you." She gave him a sad smile. "What do those books tell you, Fae?"
"Th-that it will take time... A-and practice... But not every baby will take to being breastfed." She recited in a quiet voice.
"And if he is one of those awkward kids, there's other ways to feed him." he smiled, ignoring the jab from Glinda. "What? I was that awkward kid."
"Somehow I can believe it." Glinda rolled her eyes. "You see, Elphie? He doesn't hate you. He's just his father's son."
Elphaba let out a giggle at that and she nodded, wiping her eyes.
Fiyero smiled and kissed her. "You'll be amazing, Fae." He let Glinda take his daughter and he helped Elphaba back into bed.
"Will you stay with me?" she looked up at him.
"Whatever you want, my love." He smiled and got into bed behind her, pulling her close to him being careful not to hurt her. "You should really eat something soon."
"I'm not really hungry..." She shrugged, looking over at her babies longingly. She'd already failed at being a mother, despite the comforting words from her loved ones, that nagging doubt in her mind would not be silenced. Her son hated her, he was scared of her. Who would blame him? Even she hated her own skin. She closed her eyes and forced herself into a resting state so he wouldn't try and convince her to accept food.
While Elphaba slept, Eleanora peered in. "How is she feeling?" she wasn't surprised to see Fiyero upset, she hadn't expected him to hold it together for long, he never could. Only she couldn't comfort him now the way she used to, not while he was seeking his own comfort elsewhere.
He wiped his eyes and cleared his throat quietly, not taking his eyes off his wife. "She... On our way to you, Liir started getting fussy and Fae tried to comfort him. The more she tried the more stressed out I could see her getting and he was crying more. He sort of... Stopped when I knelt in front of her to calm her down. She thinks he hates her."
"Oh, I'll bet he's just a fussy child. She'll be fine once she settles into it. It's a scary thing for both of you. You'll have no idea what you're doing or even if it's the right thing. It will be frustrating and heartbreaking and joyous all at once, and no amount of reading books will prepare you for that." She watched him turn to face her. "There was once a time you would only settle for your grandfather. No amount of comfort and love and feeding could have you settling with me. I do understand her fears and her upset."
"I... -"
"It wasn't your fault. It was nobody's. It was... Just the way you were." She smiled.
He nodded. "I think she needs to hear it too..."
"And she will. I was hoping she was awake so we could talk, but I'll let her rest and we can talk another time." She nodded. "We've given the declaration about the birth. If she's feeling up to it, next week we can send you both out with them so the people have a chance to see their Prince and Princess."
"I'll think about it." He shrugged again.
"Alright. Is there anything you want to talk to me about?"
He paused, thinking about what to say. "Is it normal to feel this helpless?"
"Unfortunately so... But I know you two will work it out. As long as you support one another, and you're there for each other, and you keep communicating with each other, you'll get through it. You'll never get over feeling helpless, because if it's not concerning your partner it will concern your children. But you will find a way to deal with it."