The next day, Eddy and Edd, after yet another scam had failed, were being chased through camp by Kevin and Rolf.
"We'll get you, dorks!" called Kevin.
"Rolf will not allow himself to be fooled by a trio of sneaky badgers!"
"I knew that stupid carpet scam wouldn't work!" complained Eddy as they turned a corner.
Edd rolled his eyes. "Well, excuse me for trying to show these kids the delicate beauty of detail! YOU were the one who said they could fly!"
"They wouldn't have bought them otherwise! " defended Eddy.
Edd suddenly stopped running. "Wait a second! Where's Ed?"
"Darn it," sighed Eddy, "they must have caught him:
"We'll have to go rescue the lovable oaf."
As they turned around, Kevin cut them off, cornering them. "But who's gonna rescue you?"
Ed suddenly jumped out of nowhere onto Kevin's head, crushing him. "Cookies are a sometimes food!"
"Ed!" cried Eddy.
"You're alive!" said Edd, sighing with relief.
"Fear not for me, for I start every morning with a steaming bowl of gravy!"
Edd smiled. "Yes, well, we can discuss your dietary habits once we're a safe distance from Kevin."
Eddy started running again. "You've got that right! We've just gotta keep..."
(To the tune of "One Jump Ahead")
Eddy: One jump ahead of the tough guys
One swing ahead of the fist
No one said life was always bliss
Ed: Yay, Showstoppers!
(Eddy and the others run through the halls, being chased)
Edd: One jump ahead of our victims
Although we've ripped them off
Too bad they're not kind to us or soft
Kevin: Swindlers
Rolf: Ed-boys
Kevin: We don't...
Rolf: ...enjoy!
Eddy: Hey, I need the dough here
Rolf and Kevin: Getting ripped off, we say no here
Edd: Let's face it, that's life, it happens sometimes
We've gotta stick together now
All Three Eds: Wow!
(They pass by Calvin, Hobbes, Jason and Marcus)
Calvin and Hobbes: Once again the Eds are on the run now
They've stolen money from kids again
Jason and Marcus: Can't they figure out that it's not fun now
Eddy: Look, it's my hobby, I don't insult yours
So leave me alone then
Edd: One jump ahead of enemies
Eddy: Always must watch my back
Ed: We steal just so we can eat a snack
Edd: One jump ahead of a beating
Ed: One yard away from the pain
Eddy: Can't blame us if we may complain
Kevin: Get them!
Rolf: Too slick!
Kevin: Pain we'll...
Rolf: ...inflict!
Edd: Can't we use our words here?
(Marie Kanker jumps out and hugs Edd)
Marie: I've got a thing for the nerd here
Eddy: Gotta dodge Kevin, stay away from Rolf
The Kankers sisters, too
All Three Eds: Eww!
Edd: One jump ahead of their anger
(Beat them!)
Eddy: One hop ahead of the hun
(Punch him!)
Ed: One trick ahead of the bad stuff
(Stop them!)
Edd: Frankly, I have had enough
(Crunch him!)
(The chase leads them to a corner by a stool. Kevin stands up on it with a heavy book, prepared to squash them with it. Rolf stands by him)
Eddy: Here goes, three of us are trapped now
We're gonna get slapped now
All we gotta do is run!
On the final line, Eddy kicked the stool out from under Kevin, making him fall on top of Rolf. The book fell as well, squashing both of them. The Eds ran for it.
"Ha ha!" laughed a relived Eddy as they made their escape into the hall. "We did it! Time to cash our bucks in!"
"Double D," asked Ed, "does the Beast from Beauty and the Beast really make a cameo in Aladdin?"
"Indeed he does," said Edd, "although I have no idea how Aladdin is relevant to any of this." Edd suddenly noticed Linus and Rerun by the vending machine. "Hello, boys. Planning on buying something?"
"Actually, we're just looking..." admitted Linus. "We don't have any money."
Edd smiled. "Here. Use mine."
Rerun was surprised. "Really? Thanks!"
"Not a problem. I'm not that hungry anyway."
Eddy had been watching the whole thing. "WHAT WAS THAT?" he yelled when Linus and Rerun had left.
Edd shrugged. "Well, they were hungry, so..."
"We risked our lives for that money, and you give your share to kids! You might as well just let us have it next time, if you're planning on wasting it! Talk about naive! Let's go, Ed."
Ed walked away with Eddy. "Cantaloupes make me giggle."
Edd watched the two of them leave. "I wish he would understand. Maybe if he were to actually be generous for a change...well, it doesn't matter..."
Stupid, naive
They all believe
That I can't do great things
But is that all true, then?
No siree
I'll show them there's so much more to me
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This is actually the SECOND time "One Jump Ahead" has been sang in a story, the first being by Calvin in "Ego Attack."
I've been wanting to do an Aladdin story for quite a while. For a long time, I was stuck on characters. First I wanted a whole thing about the Darkling returning and wanting to be wished back into power, so he possed Double D who would be Jafar and Eddy would be Iago and the Ghostmaster Trio would be the genie...clearly, this was too confusing.
Then there was the issue of Aladdin himself. Of course, Calvin was the first considered, but why would he be in love? One idea was to have the whole story be a joke. At the end it would be revealed that he only wanted to be close to her so he could smack her with a waterballoon. Then, there was the idea of dropping love from the plot entirly and have him trying to get attention, but that was too similar to "The Calvin King" and "Hercules."
Once Edd was made Aladdin, the whole thing fell into place. Thankfully.