Back in Darkland, Bowser was pacing through his castle. "Diamond in the rough...diamond in the rough...what does it all mean!"
Morton ran over. "Maybe you should consult the wonders of the Internet! I'll bet Wikipedia will get you somewhere. Try not to use Jeeves, 'cause he never has any answers. Hey, maybe Ebay will get you something! Or maybe some fanfics about it will help! Oh, what about good ol' Google?"
"Can't you bother someone else?" groaned Bowser.
"I'm just thinking, brainstorming, pondering, King Dad," Morton said innocently.
"Well, ponder in a soundproof room!" yelled Bowser.
"I have a habit of breaking those things.
Bowser had an idea. "Wait a second! We can use this crystal ball!" He grabbed the ball, which was sitting on a table and shook it while asking "What is a diamond in the rough?"
Words appeared in the crystal: "Ask again later."
"It probably needs more power..." said Bowser. "I have an idea."
"This may be bad," realized Morton.
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Edd was walking though the camp's halls when he saw Nazz sitting in a chair in the distance. "Ah, Nazz," he thought to himself. "I once was an item with you...until the Koopas came. For your own protection, I broke up without honestly saying why. If only we could reconnect...if only. But you would never understand. I'd sound like a fool..."
Nazz screamed. Edd looked up to see that she was now surrounded by the Kankers.
"Well, well, well," smiled Lee, "if it ain't little miss Nazz."
Marie jumped in her face. "Admit it! You're trying to steal our men!"
"Your men?" repeated Nazz. "You mean the Eds?"
"Yeah!" said May. "We've seen how they look at you!"
"All flirty-flirty," added Lee. "We ain't amused."
Nazz got out of her chair and backed against the wall. "You've got it all wrong, girls!"
"Oh, no," Marie said with an evil look in her eyes. "We know everything."
"And we're not happy," said May.
Nazz smiled weakly. "Please, can't we talk? Girl power?"
"You're about to feel some MAJOR girl power!" growled Lee. "Get her!"
Edd sprinted over, ignoring his overwhelming fear of the Kankers. "Hold it right there!"
"Come to watch me defend our love?" asked Marie.
"Heavens, no! I'm simply here to preform some..." Edd thought for a second. "...cheap parlor tricks?"
May jumped up and down. "Oh boy! I love cheap parlor tricks!"
"I hoped as much," said Edd. "For this, you all must close your eyes."
The second the Kankers did, Edd grabbed Nazz. "Run for it!"
Lee looked up to see them disappear outside. "Hey! Get back here! You haven't seen the last of us!"
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Bowser, meanwhile, had his all his kids running on a treadmill, generating electricity for the crystal ball. "Run faster! We've gotta power this crystal ball up!"
"Why aren't YOU running?" complained Iggy.
"Because I'm the main villain, not a wacky sidekick."
"Aww, but you're our own father!" reminded Lemmy.
"Good point," admitted Bowser, "but I take so much abuse in these stories already, so I figured it was okay to turn the tormenting spotlight over to someone else."
Wendy thought about this for a second. "Makes sense."
Roy yawned. "I'm taking a break." The tough Koopaling sat on top of Jr.
"Hey!" squealed Jr.
"That looks like fun," said Larry. All the kids piled on Jr.
"Can't...run...much...longer..." gasped Jr. He collapsed, causing all of the Koopas to fly off the treadmill, splattering against the wall. The vibrations knocked the crystal ball off of the table.
Bowser picked the crystal ball up. "Hey, it's working again. I guess we only had to smack it."
"Convenient," croaked Jr.
Bowser gazed excitedly into the crystal ball. "And the diamond in the rough is...Double D? Man, will the surprises never end? Am I right?"
The Koopalings rolled their eyes.
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Back at camp, Edd and Nazz hid in the shade outside. "That was so awesome!" cried Nazz.
Edd blushed. "Oh, it was nothing. Really. Tricking a Kanker is as easy as...well, as tricking a Kanker. Are you all right?"
"I'm fine. I haven't really gotten a chance to talk to you for a while."
"Oh, um, yes, well..." Edd looked nervous. "I suppose things have been rather awkward since the whole, well, you know..."
"The Broadway show?"
"Yes. That. Nazz, if I could just explain to you what happened, everything would be..." he turned away. "No, you'd think I was crazy."
Nazz touched his face. "I'd never think that."
"Well, what happened was..."
Suddenly, Ludwig emerged from around a corner. "You! Human!"
Edd rolled his eyes. "Oh, now this is just ironic."
Morton bounced around. "Attack, charge, get him!"
"I fear we must run again!" cried Edd.
"You bet!" agreed Nazz. She and Nazz ran around the building.
"Do you trust me?" asked Edd.
"Sure, why do you ask?"
"Something told me to say that...I'm not sure what, though."
Roy jumped out of nowhere and grabs Edd. "I got the dork!"
"Don't tell me you call people dorks, too," groaned Edd.
"Hey, aren't you those guys that show up sometimes?" asked Nazz.
Wendy glared at her. "Guys? We're Koopas, kid!"
Nazz stared in confusion. "Like in video games?"
"The one, the only!" grinned Morton. "We've existed the whole time! We've always been here! Always plotting to get you! And now we've finally caught someone! And once king dad has magically taken over everything, we'll come back for the rest of everyone! HA!"
The Koopas opened up a Mario book, which warped them and Edd into the Mushroom Kingdom.
"Double D!" Nazz called after him.
"This is a normal occurrence," Edd cried as he disappeared into the book, "I assure you!"
Nazz ran inside, not believing what she had just witnessed. "Kevin! Kevin! Double D was just kidnaped by freaky Nintendo monster things!"
"Uh, have you been hanging around with the Eds too much? I think their weirdness is starting to rub off."
"They're my friends!" defended Nazz. "I don't know what to do. Where are Calvin and those guys? Maybe they know..."
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Calvin and Hobbes, at this point, appeared to be scaling a huge snowy mountain in a blizzard.
"We're really doing it, Hobbes!" cried Calvin.
"The Matterhorn!" said Hobbes. A snowmonster came out of a cave. "Look out!" pointed Hobbes. "A yeti!"
In reality, it was really just Eddy. Calvin and Hobbes were only climbing a tree.
"Who are you calling a yeti?" growled Eddy.
"Take this, monster!" Calvin and Hobbes threw water balloons at him. Jason and Marcus stood by them, playing polka music.
"And what are YOU guys doing?" asked Eddy.
"Adding ambience," said Marcus.
Jason nodded. "Get with the groove, man."
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"Look," Kevin told Nazz, "I'm sure he's fine. He's too dorky to get himself kidnaped by anyone."
"I'm tired of you saying bad things about him!" cried Nazz.
Ed walked over. "Fear not, as I, Ed, will bravely go where we've all been before!"
"What?"
"Here I come to save the day!" Ed bounded off.
"I hope he's okay..." sighed Nazz.