Eddy (narrating): Way down in a fortress was a kid in distress

Double D was soon chained to the wall

And in that one big room full of darkness and gloom

He found himself feeling quite small

Would this just be the end? All alone with no friends?

The thought of this made him sick

But not all hope is gone, he's a hero, come on!

And they USUALLY win in the fic

"Oh, curse Nintendo!" moaned Double D, who was indeed in a Koopa dungeon. "This dungeon is filthy! Not to mention that these chains may leave a lasting bruise..."

Suddenly, a familiar face appeared in a window. "Never fear, Ed is here!"

"Ed!" called Double D. "How happy I am to see you! Pray tell, where are the others?"

"Scaling the Matterhorn!"

"Oh. I see."

Ed pulled off his eyebrow and used it as a key to unlock Double D's shackles.

"Thank you, Ed," smiled Double D. "I had no idea that your eyebrow was multi functional."

Ed put it back in. "That's why I never leave home without it!"

Double D looked around. "Unfortunately, now that you're down here, we're both trapped."

"That makes three of us," said a voice in the corner. An old orange Koopa dressed as a wizard stepped out from the darkness.

"Way cool!" cried Ed. "It is Kamek the Magikoopa from Yoshi's Island!"

"Can I assume he's an enemy?" asked Edd/

"Yep. I'll stomp on him for you." Ed jumped for Kamek, who moved out of the way, causing the boy to smash a crater in the floor.

"Hold on a second, you two," said the Magikoopa, "Think to yourself now. Why would a villain be locked in a dungeon?"

"Perhaps you're planning a revolution?" Double D guessed.

"Actually, I am. But that's not why I'm here. Mean old Bowser got bored with me. Said I was useless and only good for Mario Party games. And so I ended up here. However, I know of a great magical force that exists by your camp. We can use it to defeat him and his army once and for all!"

Ed raised his hand. "Can you turn me into Salvo the Slime?"

"Consider something, Kamek," interrupted Double D. "How would we even get out?"

"There's a way out that Bowser is unaware of." Kamek opened a passageway, revealing a long stream of rocks leading across a huge pool of lava full of Podabos.

"A tad dangerous, isn't it?" stared Double D.

Kamek rolled his eyes. "Fine, I also have the keys. What a baby."

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Eddy (narrating): The poor guy was a wreck but he followed Kamek

And the duo warped back to camp

Happy he wasn't dead, he was followed by Ed

Who wanted his pal to be champ

They at last reached the place, and by the look of his face

Double D suspected a trick

But he stepped forward still, hoping he'd live until

The end of another fanfic

When Double D approached the pipe, he was greeted by the nasal voice from before: "Who the hell are you?"

"You're not supposed to ask like that," snapped the silly voice. "Be polite. Are you the diamond in the rough?"

"I'm not quite sure what you mean by that, but my name is Edd with two Ds, hence the nickname Double D."

"Proceed," said the scratchy voice. "Touch nothing but the lamp."

"Can I come, too?" asked Ed.

"Sure," said the silly voice, "we love comedy relief!"

"Remember!" called Kamek, as the two climbed in. "Get me the lamp!"

"Messy, messy, messy..." sighed Double D, as he and Ed crawled through the sewers. They were cramped, and the walls were green and moldy. It was a truly disgusting place.

"Look at this slime!" marveled Ed. "It's like being in my nose!"

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Ed. But DON'T touch it. We're not allowed."

Ed was disappointed. "Aww..."

"I'm actually, quite suspicious of our ex-villain friend," admitted Double D. "If he had the keys and knew about the other way out, then how come he waited until we showed up? It's as if he knew we would arrive. Still, knowing the Koopas, he would surly zap us if we refused..."

Ed pointed ahead. "A light I see!"

"It's..." began Double D, before they entered the room. It was full of gold treasure. "...amazing. Ed, how come you're not going crazy trying to grab all of this amazing treasure?"

"It's not edible."

"Well, neither was the slime..." Double D suddenly shuddered. "Never mind."

"Look!" said Ed, as they left the treasure room. "We are walking into another mood change!"

He was right. They were entering a dark blue cavern with a lake of glowing blue sludge in the middle. There, sitting in the gunk, was a mountain with a glowing light on top.

"I fear I must journey to the top, Ed," said Double D.

"Don't be silly." Ed grabbed Double D and threw him all the way up.

"Thank you!" called Double D. He turned to the glowing light, to see that it rested on the lamp. He picked it up. "This is what I've been sent to find? A simple Arabian lamp?"

Suddenly, he heard Ed say: "What does this button do?" He pressed a button marked "Spring Indiana Jones-Style Booby Traps." A smaller sign under it said "Hee, hee, we said 'booby.'"

"NOOOOOOOO!" cried Double D.

Upon the button's activation, the room turned red for some reason. The staircase Double D was on turned into a slope, and he fell for the now lava-like sludge below.

"Messy, messy, messy!" moaned the boy.

Seeing his friend in danger, Ed took off his jacket and blew it up like a balloon. He flew over and caught Double D before he could fall in the red sludge. "Let's go, Double D!"

They flew through the cavern and the treasure room, avoiding various arrows, flames, traps, and of course, the enormous wave of sludge following them.

"Ed, you've saved me yet again!" Double D shouted over the sounds of destruction. "You're full of surprises today!"

"Oh, that's nothing. You should see me in the bathroom!"

Double D sighed deeply. "...and here I thought the nostril comment was the worst thing I heard."

They were now just managing to scramble through the tight part of the pipe. The opening with the waiting Koopa was just ahead.

"Kamek!" panted Double D. "We're here!"

"Give me the lamp!" shouted Kamek.

"Priorities, please," Double D rolled his eyes. "We're about to be coated in slime!"

In response, Kamek whipped out his wand. "Give me the lamp OR DIE!"

"Bowser never really fired you, did he?" Double D asked sarcastically.

Kamek finally reached in and snatched the lamp away. "We've got it! The Koopas have the lamp! And of course, I was going to zap you anyway."

Kamek raised his wand when Ed jumped out and attacked him. "Leave Double D alone!"

"Get offa me, you lump!" hissed Kamek. He threw Ed into the sewers, who bumped into Double D. The two rolled down a few feet, then quickly got up and frantically crawled to the opening again. Just as they managed to emerge, the wave of slime that had been approaching swept over them, carrying the two away.

"Finally!" cheered Kamek. "Lord Bowser!"

Bowser's face appeared in the magic wand. "Did you get it?"

"Sure did!" the Magikoopa said proudly. "It's right...uh-oh."

"WHERE IS IT?"

Kamek turned towards the sewer, which now had a clogged entrance again. Was it possible that...? "This is not good."

"I'm gonna kill you!" yelled Bowser. The wand flew around, smacking Kamek.

"Ow! Sorry! Sorry! Forgive me! OW!"