Down in the sewers, Double D woke up. He and Ed were completely surrounded by a thick layer of sewer gunk. "Well, Ed, I think we're trapped."

"I can eat our way out!" said Ed. "This could take a while."

"And worst of all," continued Double D, "the Koopas have this lamp, which can't be good."

Ed pulled something out of his pocket. "No they don't! I got it!"

Double D smiled and took the lamp. "My, that was actually quite resourceful of you! Oh dear, it's so dirty. I wonder why the Koopas wanted this..." He started to clean it.

Upon being rubbed, the lamp began to glow and bounced around. Suddenly, three laughing blue spirits shot out.

"MAN!" shouted one that looked like a skeleton with a nasal voice. "It's great to be outta there! No more sharing a bedroom with these guys!"

"Aww," said a fat one with a silly voice, "we were like brothers..."

"We're already half-brothers, Phineas."

"Still."

The last one, a short guy with a big beard and a scratchy voice, pointed to Double D. "Guys, check out the master."

"Hey," grinned the skeleton, "you're that wimpy guy!"

"And you're that odd trio of ghosts that was here before," said Double D.

Ed hugged them. "Way cool! Real ghosts! Love me!"

Phineas, the fat one, squirmed away. "Uh, how about we don't touch?"

"So, what'll it be, master?" asked the skeleton.

"Master?" repeated Double D.

Phineas nodded. "Yep! We're all-powerful genies now! I'm Phineas, the skeleton guy's Ezra, and this cute little one is Gus!"

"Might I ask..." began Double D.

"How we became magic?" guessed Ezra. "Well, it all started at Disney World. We were flying through Adventureland and saw the Genie from Aladdin. Everyone loved him and we didn't know why!"

Double D rolled his eyes. "Could it be because he was in a good movie, had fun songs, was animated well, and was an amusing character all over?"

"Yeah, we shoulda figured that, but at the time, we thought they liked him because he was a cool genie. So we decided to become genies ourselves! We talked to our crystal ball-dwelling housemate, Madame Leota, who was suspiciously happy to transform us."

"She was happy, of course," said Phineas, "because when we became genies, we ended up here."

"Stink city, USA," grumbled Gus.

"But luckily," smiled Phineas, "we could choose who was allowed to find us...you. The diamond in the rough."

Double D nodded. "I understand! I have a shabby exterior, but I'm good on the inside."

"Right!" cried Ezra. "We drove stupid Bowser nuts with that one. Anyway, you get three wishes, one from each ghost...or rather, genie."

Double D stared at the three ghosts/genies. "I've seen some odd things at this camp, but this is all highly improbable."

"Master!" cried Ezra, as jazzy music started up. "I don't think you quite realize what you've got here! So why don't you just ruminate, whilst we illuminate the possibilities."

(To the tune of "Friend Like Me")

Ezra: Well, we know that you don't believe your eyes

You think the sewer fumes mess with your head

But trust us, you're in luck, 'cause we three guys

Double as genies and ghosts, all dead

Phineas: You got some witty sidekicks with you now

Gus: The critics give us an "A-OK" stamp

Ezra: You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how

Phineas: See all you gotta do is rub that lamp

Gus: And we'll say

Phineas: Mister Double D, sir

We will always agree

Gus: Long as you don't like Disney Channel

Ezra: You ain't never had friends like us three

Ha ha ha!

Phineas: Just simply call our names

Ezra: Ezra, Gus, Phinny

Gus: And we'll come running, so we can prove

All Three: You ain't never had friends like us three

Phineas: Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service

Gus: And jokes 'bout lots of stuff

Ezra: And though we're not mean

We're quite obscene

Our dirty humor is never enough

Gus: We really like you guys

Ezra: Why, we're club Double D

Phineas: So wish away, 'cause like I say

All Three: You ain't never had friends like us three

Ezra: Can your friends do this? (Didn't think so)

Phineas: Do your friends do that? (Nope? Of course not!)

Gus: Do your friends pull this out their little hat?

Ezra: Can you friends go, poof!

I thought as much

Gus: Can your friends go, Abracadabra, let're rip

And make slapstick, wackiness and such?

Ezra: So don't be a skeptic party poop

We're here to answer all your midday prayers

Phineas: You got an amazing hitchhiking group

You got three guys who can get some weird stares

Gus: We got a powerful urge to help you out

Come on and confess your secret dreams

Ezra: You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt

Phineas: And we'll surly help you, so don't scream

All Three: Adventures will be had with the guys from Disney

Ezra: We're really sweet and we repeat

Phineas: You ain't never had friends like, never had friends like

Gus: You ain't never had friends like, never had friends like

All Three: You ain't never had friends like...us...three!

Ezra: You ain't never had friends like us three!

Yeah!

"Give my regards to Broadway!" applauded Ed.

"That was very...fun," agreed Double D.

"So what'll it be?" grinned Ezra.

Double D stood up. "I can wish for anything?"

"Wellllllllllllllllllll, not ANYTHING," admitted Ezra. "There are three rules!"

"First, we can't kill anyone," said Phineas, as a huge anvil fell on him, "so no funny cartoon deaths. Actually, 'cartoon death' is a bit of an oxymoron."

Gus burst out of the ground, looking like a rotting corpse. "Second, we can't bring anyone back from the dead. Ironic, 'cause we're part ghost."

Ezra bounced over. "And finally, we can't make anyone fall in love! Not because it's morally wrong, but I think they're just worried about us making some hot girl on girl action. Crap."

Double D winked at Ed. "So...you cannot grant any wish? And here you said you were all-powerful. How amusing."

"I bet they can't whip up good gravy!" agreed Ed.

"Or even get us out of this sewer," continued Double D.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" shouted Ezra.

Gus picked up his ball and chain. "Let's pound them!"

"No," said Phineas, "let's just prove we can get out of here!"

"All we need is a rocket," grinned Ezra, making one appear out of nowhere.

Double D nervously climbed in. "A rocket? Couldn't we just dig through the gunk with some type of drill?"

"It's more interesting if you do it this way!" said Phineas, hopping in as well.

"That's what she said!" cried Ezra. "Alright, Gus, count us down!"

"We're blasting off in ten...nine...eight...whatever, now."

They blasted off, shooting through the gunk. Ezra gave a sports-like commentary as they sailed through. "And we're moving right along, the stuff is like liquid, be sure to keep your eyes and mouths shut...here's the exit."

As they started to fly out, some gunk got caught on the back of the rocket, holding them. "And we're coming out---wait, no we're not," continued Ezra. "What's this? Interference? Can't have that!" He whipped out a pair of giant scissors and cut them free. "Sorry, goop, but you don't make the cut! HA!"

"That was a stupid joke," said Gus, as they sailed into the sky.

"Almost as stupid as 'Diamond in the Rough,'" agreed Phineas. Gus smacked him. "OW!"

"Friend Like Me" was actually preformed by Ezra already in one of the Haunted Mansion forums. The ghosts are making their second appearence here, first in "The Muppet Movie Episode." They're not to be confused with the Ghostmaster gang.