In the redecorated (and much more Koopa-like) Peach's castle, Bowser was sitting in his new throne with Gannondorf. "So..."grinned Bowser, "what do you think? I sure did a number on them!"

Gannondorf rolled his eyes. "You bullied a bunch of kids and some mushrooms. I'd call you stupid for attacking pathetic beings lower than you, but that would be hypocritical, as I always beat you up."

Bowser growled. "Why you..." He angrily zapped Gannondorf.

"That actually hurt a little bit. Not bad." Gannondorf left.

The second he was gone, Bowser squealed like a girl. "EEEEEEEE!!!! OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod! Gannondorf just said 'not bad' to ME!"

Luigi, Mario, and Toad sat in a nearby cage. "This is just sad," sighed Luigi.

"You said it," agreed Mario.

"HEY!" yelled Bowser. "Did I say you could talk?! Just eat your pasta!"

Mario sprang at his food, desperate with hunger. "Pasta, food, yes, pasta, yum, food, pasta, good!"

"Bowser," groaned Lugi, "we know that it's obviously been poisoned. We're too smart to...Mario, don't eat that!"

Mario was now tiny, due to the poison. "It was worth it."

Bowser strolled over to the Hitchhikers. "Ya know, all in all, you guys have really helped me."

Ezra glared at him. "Yeah, how 'bout you do us all a favor and DON'T give us credit?"

"I have power," continued Bowser, "the Mario Bros. and the campers are mine to torment, my kids are happy..." He motioned to the Koopalings, who were preforming the Riverdance on Yoshi's back. "...and Gannondorf complemented me! There's just one thing left to do!"

"Wish us free?" Phineas asked hopefully.

"No. Wish for a bride! The beautiful Princess Peach."

"We can't do that," Gus shook his head.

"WHY NOT?" shouted Bowser.

"See," smiled Ezra, happy to refuse something to Bowser, "there are some rules. One is that we can't..."

"I SAID I WANTED A BRIDE! GIVE ME A BRIDE!"

Peach, who was chained to the throne, looked up to see Double D and the gang sneaking in through a window. Getting the idea to distract Bowser, she got his attention. "Excuse me, Bowser...I think the only things hotter than you are the beautiful flames you breathe."

Bowser rushed over. "Zing! That's better!"

"Hey, Bowser!" Nazz called from a cage, getting the idea, "Are your sons available?"

Phineas turned to his friend in confusion. "Ezra?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going on?"

"The poor things must have finally snapped," sighed Ezra. "Desperation will do that to a woman, you know."

Wendy glared at the seven Koopaling males, who were flocking around Nazz. "My brothers are not about to fall for some easy human who puts out so..." She looked up to see the guys sneaking in. "Hey! It's those guys!"

Bowser whirled around. "THEM!"

"That was a close one," Peach sighed with relief. "I thought I'd actually have to kiss you!"

Bowser quickly kissed Peach anyway and then sprang for the kids. He zapped them, and they all fell to the ground in the middle of the throne room.

"Should we kill them?" asked Larry.

"Don't tire yourselves," smiled Bowser. "I have a fun idea."

Several tall cages burst out of the floor. Jason and Ed were trapped in the first one, Eddy and Marcus in the second, Calvin and Hobbes in the third, and Bowser and Double D in the fourth. "It's time for some Super Smash Bros.-style action!" shouted the Koopa King.

Enemies dropped from the sky. In Jason and Ed's cage, it was Tryclyde (the three-headed snake from Super Mario Bros. 2). In Ed and Marcus's cage, it was Boom-Boom (the huge apelike monster from Super Mario Bros. 3), and in Calvin and Hobbes's cage, it was some Renzors (the four dinosaurs from Super Mario World).

"YAY!" cheered the Koopalings from the sidelines. "Cage match!"

Bowser jumped around, trying to ground-pound Double D, who ran for it, causing Bowser to make several large holes in the ground. In Jason and Ed's cage, Tryclyde continuously snapped at them, spewing fire.

"Evil snake!" cried Ed.

"I have an instruction manual on me!" said Jason, dodging the fireballs. "It says I need to throw some brick-like mushroom blocks at him!"

"Idea!" Ed threw himself at Tryclyde, who was instantly defeated.

"Good enough," said Jason.

Bowser, meanwhile, was still after Double D. "You're just stalling!"

"I'm well aware of that!"

In their cage, Marcus and Eddy were dodging Boom-Boom. "I can't believe this!" groaned Marcus. "Boom-Boom?! We might as well be fighting a Hammer Bro! He's too easy!"

"If he's so easy," complained Eddy, "why are we running for our lives?!"

"I never said we weren't easier."

Boom-Boom jumped for them, but Eddy bounced off the gates and sprang back, stomping him in the head. Marcus jumped on him two more times, defeating him.

"Two down, two to go!" called Ezra. "WOO!"

"I should at least count as three myself!" yelled Bowser.

"Make us!" grinned Phineas.

"Jerk," added Gus.

Calvin and Hobbes jumped around, knocking the four Renzors off their stands. Suddenly, the floor opened up, revealing lava. They jumped onto the Renzor platforms to save themselves.

"Hobbes?" said Calvin. "We've been through a lot, buddy."

"Like all the times we got each other in trouble...I'll miss those times."

"What?" cried Calvin. "You thought I was being dramatic? I was just reminiscing. We can get by this in a second!"

Calvin and Hobbes jumped across. Hobbes used his claw to pick the lock on the cage and ran around freeing the others.

"YES!" cheered Ezra. "The only thing that could beat this was the time me and my girlfriend...well, this story ain't rated 'M' so never mind..."

"We're barely pushing 'T' as it is," agreed Phineas.

"Hey," Kevin admitted, still in the cage, "the dork is doing good!"

"I love you, Double D!" called Nazz.

Double D stopped and turned to Nazz. "I love you, too!"

Bowser came down on him. Double D jumped out of the way at the last second, causing Bowser to make a huge hole in the ground and fall through. The kids cheered.

Larry, however, wasn't happy with this. "We're still here! Get them!"

Not caring about the Koopalings, "Ezra, Phineas, and Gus plowed through the Koopalings. "Outta the way!" yelled Gus.

Ezra started leading the kids towards the door. "Victory! Okay, let's all get out of here! We can convince the kids that it was all a hallucination caused by the stupid pool's chlorine or something!"

Phineas turned to Mario. "Hey, Mario, why aren't you happy?"

"Well, sometimes he's really gone, but sometimes when you think the final boss is really out of here, he comes back and gets you."

The ground rumbled. A bigger, scarier version of Bowser rose out. "You think I'm defeated so easily now? I have magical powers! Try dealing with GIGA BOWSER!"

"Yep," said Mario, "this is one of those times."

Calvin started running again. "Once again, we're gonna have to RUN FOR OUR LIVES!"

"It gets old after a while!" added Hobbes.

Giga Bowser slammed his claw into the wall, causing a great section of it to collapse onto the door, blocking everyone's exit. He then reached down and picked up Double D. "I'm gonna crush every one of you...starting with this one!"

"Crush me?" scoffed Double D. "How quaint. You can do anything and you decide to simply CRUSH me? Really. I'm sure the Hitchhiking Ghost-genie-hybrids..."

"Thanks!" called Phineas.

"...could be a lot more creative!" continued Double D. "They have more power than you'll ever have!"

"Hey," said Ezra, "don't drag us in here...we're peaceful guys."

Giga Bowser, however, saw where Double D was coming from. "You're right! But not for long...genies!"

"Ghost-genie-hybrids!" whined Phineas. "Double D just said..."

"Will you forget about that?!" hissed Gus.

"I wish to be a genie as well!" shouted Giga Bowser. "All powerful!"

"You know," sighed Ezra, "they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but..." he sadly zapped Giga Bowser, who began to glow. He transformed into a genie, who was somehow even bigger, badder, and an evil shade of red.

"The power!" roared the Koopa-genie-hybrid as he burst through the castle's ceiling. "More, more, more! Everything I wanted and MORE!"

"How cool is this?!" grinned Jason.

Marcus nodded. "If only Frodo was here. Then it would be perfect..."

"We're about to die!" reminded Eddy.

"Oh yeah," remembered Jason. "Forgot about that."

"However, Bowser," Double D smiled innocently, "you've forgotten one thing...the lamp!" A lamp appeared under Bowser. Double D grabbed it. "You now belong to me!"

"Stop him!" ordered Bowser. The Koopalings sprang for Double D, but the army of kids held them back.

Double D flashed Bowser a confident grin and rattled off his three wishes. "For my first wish, I wish everything was back to normal! For my second, I wish no one but me, the ghost-genie-hybrids, Ed, and Eddy remembered this, and for my third, I wish that you were trapped in that lamp forever!"

Bowser painfully granted all the wishes He was then sucked down into the lamp. "NO! NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This sucks!!!"

Ezra picked up the lamp. "Good one."

Originally, I thought about Bowser turning into Tryclyde himself, but Giga Bowser was a lot better.