Chapter 2: I Can't Live Without You

Abby couldn't believe. All this time she was being fooled. She knew he didn't truly love her. Otherwise he wouldn't have called to say nothing. She walked to her dark bedroom and lied on the bed. She looked to the side he used to lay, expecting him to be there. Or, at least, come home soon.

John couldn't stop thinking about what he just said. How could he say nothing? He thought about what she might be thinking of him. He promised himself he would call her tomorrow. And he fell sleep.

Abby didn't stop moving. She was missing him so much. She controlled herself and decided that the best thing was to try to sleep. It took a while, but she fell sleep.

In the following day…

"Feeling any better?"

"Yes. He… he called last night"

"So? Did you guys talked?"

"No, I left the machine take it. I was missing him too much to answer it"

"So, what did he say?"

"I don't know. He tried, but in the end all what came out was forget it"

"Forget it?"

"Yep, I didn't understand too. But I hope he calls tonight. I want to hear his voice so bad"

"You miss him, huh?"

"Yes, I do"

"Then you should call him. And tell him everything he means to you"

"Susan, I don't even know if he's still in love with me"

"If he called it's because he is"

"But he didn't say anything"

"Maybe he didn't find the right words. Give him a chance"

"I don't know"

"I'm sure he thinks about you and misses you"

"Well, I don't"

"C'mon, Abby! You have nothing to lose"

"And neither to win"

"You never know"

"Ok, I'll call him. If that's what you really want"

"Yes. Thanks" – Susan was leaving, when she turned – "Ah, and Abby… don't forget to call me later"

Abby laughed.

"I will. I promise" – She turned to her daughter – "Hey my little girl. Mommy loves you so much, you know?"

Phoebe definitely looked like John. Her hair was black and her eyes, hazel. Abby was sure he missed their daughter.

John came home smiling. He opened the door and his smile faded away by seeing the house completely dark and quickly realizes she wasn't there, waiting for him.

Abby arrived home with a sad look on her face. She had already accepted the fact he wouldn't come back again. But she was willing to call him. She put her daughter to sleep and went to the room.

John stopped next to the phone, unsure if he should call her or not. As soon as he put his hand on the phone, it rang and John jumped. He saw her number on the ID and wanted to pick it up. But he stopped suddenly. He didn't understand why he didn't pick up, since he wanted to hear her voice so much.

"Hey, it's me. Listen, I just called to… because I wanted… to hear your voice. Ahn, I can't talk more. Our little girl is crying. Maybe she's hungry. You know we have a daughter right? Anyway, I… bye"

The smile on John's face got wider.

My daughter. How could I forget about my daughter? And, of course, about Abby. The woman I love. She must be hurt with me for leaving that way. Call her John. And tell her how you feel.

He picked up the phone and started dialing but he stopped. He dialed again and it rang.

"Please pick up. Please pick up"

Abby heard the phone ring and didn't know if she kept breast-feeding her daughter or picked it up. Then she decided to pick it up.

"John"

"Abby"

They both felt happy being able to talk to each other.

"How's everything in London?"

"Great, only one thing is missing"

"Oh yeah? What?" – She played the fool.

"You know it. The person I miss the most"

"Oh my love. I miss you so much. I wish you were here so much"

John froze when he heard her sobering on the other side.

"Me too"

"You know, I'm really sorry I didn't go. I really am. I want to be with you"

"I didn't mean to leave like that. You mean everything to me. But you didn't want to come"

"I know. But I want now. I'll be taking the plane this weekend. I can't stand staying away from you"

He smiled.

"Me too. But don't take the plane yet"

"What?"

"I'm flying back"

"But John… I want to"

"No, you want to live in the US. Then we're gonna stay here"

"But it means a lot to you"

"Not as much as you to me"

"John… it's ok. I'm ready to go. I'm ready to leave all this. Because, I know you'll be with me"

"Abby…"

"John, I need to go now. I need to do a preg… I mean, some things. Bye"

"Abby! Wait! Wait! Abby!"

But it was too late. She had already hung up. She was disappointed. He didn't even say an 'I love you'. But she didn't have time to think about it. She had to breastfeed her daughter.

John couldn't believe. They took so long to talk to each other and she hangs up like this, without even saying 'I love you'? Maybe she had gotten over him. But hurt to think about it.

Next day…

"Hey, how did it go?"

"What?"

"With Carter"

"Oh, it was ok"

"That's it? Only ok?"

"Yeah, we didn't talk much"

"Why? What happened?"

"I don't know. Maybe he moved on"

Susan noticed the pain on Abby's voice.

"Moved on? C'mon Abby, you guys are married!"

"I know, but still"

"Hey, he wouldn't have married you if he didn't love you and knew this was for real"

"People change, Susan. Things change. I don't know, but maybe this time apart was just one more thing to help"

"Oh Abby"

"What? Don't you think? He couldn't even say 'I love you'"

"Maybe he didn't find the right words"

"That's the problem. He had never had difficulties on saying it. But it's ok. I don't blame him for not wanting to be with me"

"Abby. C'mon! I'm pretty sure he thinks about you. He loves you. Give him a chance. I know you won't regret"

"I'll think about it. But only because you asked"

"Thank you"

"See you tomorrow"

"Yeah"

Abby opened the door of her house. It was darker than ever. Maybe because it was raining. She played the messages as she put Phoebe to sleep. She walked in the living room in time to hear the last one.

"Hey, it's me. I'm on the plane now. You'll probably be sleeping when I arrive. I still have the key, so don't wait for me up"

Abby's heart hurt. As long as she wanted to see him, she was hurt. She went to her bedroom to pick up some clothes and headed to the bathroom. She took her pants and t-shirt off and then noticed she was wearing the bra he liked the most. The red one. She touched it with her fingertips as she looked at the bath before closing her eyes. She remembered the last time they showered together. It was a month ago. She took shower and went to sleep. It's been hard for her to care of her and work, but she's doing ok.

John looked at his watch: 3:30am.

She'll probably be sleeping. But it doesn't matter, because soon enough I'll be with her. My lovely wife. And my wonderful daughter I haven't seen for a week.

He walked in and quickly made his way to their room. But he stopped and got in his daughter's one. He caressed her face and smiled. Then he went to their room and saw her sleeping.

She looks beautiful when she sleeps.

He walked up to her and gently brushed her hair away from her face before kissing her forehead and sitting on the bed, next to her.