Chapter 3: I'll Miss You Guys
John gently caressed her arm and she woke up.
"Hey"
"Hey. How… how long have you been here?" – She sat.
"10 minutes"
"You should have called"
"I wanted to make a surprise. I missed you"
"I…" – She swallowed before speaking again – "I have a shift in a couple hours. So, welcome home"
And with that she laid and closed her eyes.
"That's it? I came all way here for you and that's all I get?"
She opened her eyes and turned around.
"What you want me to do?"
"I don't know. Hug me. Tell me you missed me, tell me you want me to be with you. Tell me that you need me. Kiss me"
"I'm sorry…"
He was leaning to reach her lips when she quickly turned her face away.
"… I can't"
He shook his head.
"Ok. I understand"
"Can you?"
"What?"
"Say all those things?"
He didn't answer.
"Maybe it's time to move on"
"Have you met someone?"
"No. It's just we have different resolutions in life and maybe we only might make them come true if we're apart"
"Right"
"You don't have to go. I'll move out"
"No, stay"
He left and went to the mansion. Later…
"John's back"
"And?"
"I acted like an idiot"
"What?"
"I kinda broke up with him"
"What? Why, Abby?"
"I don't know. I don't feel the way I used to about him anymore"
"I'm sorry"
"Don't be. This was going to end someday. I mean, you can't love someone forever"
"Of course you can. You're an example of it. He loves you, Abby…"
"I'm going to Congo"
"…And I'm sure you love him too. You what?"
Susan was in shock when she heard what Abby just said.
"Yeah, I need to feel like I'm doing something"
"But you have an one month old daughter"
"I know"
"And you're taking her with you?"
"Yes"
"Carter's not going to like this"
"He doesn't need to. I make my own decisions. I get to decide what's the best for me"
"Ok. No need to stress out. So, when you're going?"
"Tomorrow"
"Already?"
"Yeah"
Susan couldn't believe. Her best friend was leaving… and she didn't know if she would come back.
"You promise you come to visit me?"
"Sure"
"Oh, I'm gonna miss you so much!"
Susan was crying and Abby felt her eyes water.
"I'm going to miss you too. I want to thank you for being a perfect friend"
"Oh Abby! I'm not a perfect friend. But you know you can always count on me. I don't want you to go"
"I'm sorry. I don't fit here anymore"
"Well, then I can't do anything but wishing you good luck and telling you to not forget the friends"
They hug and Abby says:
"I won't. Take care"
"The same for you"
"Dr. Carter, Luka is asking for you. Curtain 2" – Chuny said.
"Ah… Dr. Lockhart, please. And I'll be right there"
"How much longer?"
"3 hours and I'm out here"
"Great, then I have time to plan a goodbye party"
"Susan, you don't have to"
"Yes, I do. You'll be missed, you know? Two years working together. You've been here for four years. I'm sure everyone will miss you. Jing-Mei, Neela, Pratt, Luka…" – She swallowed hard before speaking again – "…Carter"
Abby froze when she heard his name. Her last name actually.
"You sure you still want to go?"
"Yes, I need to change. It's time"
"I'll always be with you"
"I know. Ah, don't tell John about the party. It's gonna be tougher to say goodbye"
"What if he asks?"
"Tell him I went to find my mother. I don't know. Just come up with something"
Abby went to talk to Luka and Susan walked to the admitting area, where Neela, Jing-Mei and Sam were.
"Hey, how far are you?"
"5 months and a half"
"Boy or girl?"
"Boy"
"Congratulations. So… Abby's leaving and I thought about throwing a goodbye party. Would you like to go?"
"Sure" – Neela, Jing-Mei and Sam replied together.
"Great. I need help to arrange it. You guys mind?"
"No, sure we'll help"
"Abby's leaving?" – Luka joined the conversation.
"Yes, but don't tell Carter"
"Why not?"
"Because she doesn't want him to know and not making things harder"
"Where's she going to?"
"Congo"
"She knows that it's dangerous in there?"
"No. But she'll end up finding out by herself"
"She'll be missed, especially by Carter"
"Yeah. I just hope she finds out that they're meant to be by herself"
"Are they separated?"
"Yes, but they love each other. They can't say it to one another"
"It's hard sometimes"
"Yeah, but it shouldn't be. Anyway, I have patients to take care. I'll see you at Lava Lounge?"
"Yes" – The four of them said.
Susan leaves to see a patient and Neela and Luka are alone.
"How are you?"
"Good, just a little nauseous"
"And our little boy?", He asked, placing his hand on her belly.
"He's great. Our little Alex"
Abby walks to the admitting when Luka and Neela are kissing.
"I'm sorry for interrupting. Dr. Rasgotra, Dr. Lewis is calling you"
"Tell her I'll be right there"
"She put a tube in one of your patients"
"What? Talk to you later"
Neela goes to see her patient and Abby is writing in a chart.
"So, how's Neela dealing with her pregnancy?"
"Good"
"And you? How are you feeling with the idea of being a father again? I mean, you lost a family" – She noticed the look on his face – "Sorry"
"No… no problem. And yeah, I'm loving. I missed that"
She goes back on writing in the chart.
"And you? Did you lose your fear on passing on the disease?"
"Yes. John… helped me a lot in this part. I'm ready to be a mother again"
He smiled.
"Well, I guess you should be saying it to Carter. He would love to know. Sorry. You guys fought"
"It's ok"
"And how are you dealing with your other daughter's death?"
Abby felt like crying but she contained herself.
"It's been a month and I still find it hard. But I'll get over it. I hope"
She laughed not to show her pain.
"Anyway, I need to go see a patient. See you later?"
"Yeah"
"Susan!" – She whispered to herself as she headed to the room.
Later…
"Hey, you off already?"
"Yes, and as I can see so are you"
"Yeah, John's gonna be here and I need to stop by some place before going"
"Where?"
"The river. I want to see the where my daughter's ashes were thrown before leaving"
Susan noticed Abby's eyes were filled with tears.
"You ok?"
"Yes"
"Want me to go with you?"
"Yes… I mean no, you don't need to go through this"
"Abby, I want to. I was her godmother"
"Ok, let's go"
They walked outside and Abby turned to take a look at County for the last time. A tear fell out of the eye.
"Missing it already?" – Susan put her hand on her shoulder.
"It's hard, you know? I never thought I could quit here someday"
"Yeah, I know. I felt that way too"
"But at least I quit with the feeling that I grew up with everyone. If one day I find one of you and you tell me I changed at least one thing in you, then I'll be sure it was worth"
"That's what matters. And hey, you changed something in me. I know you did"
Abby smiled.
"Thanks Susan. You're the best"
They laugh and hug each other. Then, they find John arriving.
"Hey Carter"
"Hey"
He looked at Abby, who looked at the floor. Then he walked inside, without saying a word.
"Wow, that was cold!" – Susan laughed, but then turned serious – "I forgot to pick up something. I'll be right back"
Susan walks in and looks for John.
"Jerry, have you seen Carter?"
"Curtain 1"
"Thanks"
She heads up to the room he is.
"Can I talk to you?"
"Not right now"
"It's important"
"Ok. I'll be right back"
"You need to talk to Abby"
"Why? She left it pretty clear that she doesn't want my presence next to her"
"Yeah, but she misses you so much"
"I can't do anything"
"Yes, you can. Talk to her"
"No"
"You'll lose her if you don't"
"I don't care"
"Ok. Right"
Susan walked out and John got confused.
Lose her? What did she mean with that?
But he quickly dropped that thought.
"We can go"
"What you went to do?"
"Hum, nothing important"
They went to the river and Abby felt her heart jump. She kneeled and prayed. Then she cried and said.
"You'll always be in my heart. I'll love you forever"
Susan felt sorry for Abby e anger for herself for not being able to save her daughter. Abby stood up and, still with red eyes, picked her daughter and turned to show her the other one.
"Honey, you had a sister. But she died and your father and I… threw her ashes here. You probably won't remember this, but I wanted you to know"
She hugged her daughter tighter and turned to Susan.
"We can go"
"You ok?"
"No, but I'll be. I want to be"
"Save your tears for the party" – Susan tried to cheer her up.
Abby smiled.
"I told you didn't need this"
Susan took her to Lava Lounge, where everybody was waiting for them.
"Finally!"
"Sorry"
They sat and talked. An hour later, Susan decided to make a toast.
"Every person that gets to know Abby quickly notices she's a wonderful person"
Luka stood up to talk too.
"A person dedicated to work. She's always around to help you when you most need"
"Abby, I'm not able to find words to start to say how much I am going to miss you. I better stop before I cry"
Susan smiled sadly. Abby's eyes were red and she was sobbing.
"When I realized I wouldn't work with her anymore, I got really sad. Sometimes I even cried. It's easy to let people walk in your life, but it's hard and painful to say goodbye"
"You're an amazing doctor, Abby. And we wish all the luck in the world for you"
"Thanks guys. Really"
She was about to get up when Luka said.
"Wait. There's more"
They chose some photos and showed them as a slide. Abby cried seeing those photos and re-living those moments in her mind.
"Thanks guys. But now I need to catch the plane. I'll call when I get there. Phoebe, say goodbye to your godparents"
Susan and Luka got closer and she picked her in her arms.
"We're gonna miss you so much, little girl. But take care of your mother. She'll need it"
Luka said, making the others here. They gave Abby letters they wrote. Abby hugged everybody for the last time and left the USA… maybe forever. Susan and Luka went outside with Abby and watched her leave, with tears in her eyes.