Welcome back and thank you Jesspots1704, DawnXXX92, Twiggy85, CarlaPA, Shelby Duncan, Magda95, Kyr, Breepeg, NatalieKatee, Mariana, Kenyatta . Harmon16, quaquaquaqua, myfanficaddiction, Noee, Guest, Guest, X . summergrey . X , William Francies Reisen-Newman, SpeedForce 1229, jlap. mypersonalfiles, and Mariah for reviewing!
We had 21 reviews on this chapter… wow.. Thank you guys so much… I really wasn't sure about the last chapter at all. I was worried that I was going too fast… possibly because Bella has only been in Forks for 2.5 weeks so I was very worried. But, I'm glad you guys enjoyed it!
Jessicapots1704, I'm relieved you loved it. I wasn't too sure about that chapter if I liked it or not… and here is the update!(:
DawnXXX92, It's taking all of me to not develop their relationship too fast! And of course he is afraid of her, haha! She broke Sam's ribcage!
Twiggy85, Your review is insightful! I am doing my best of keeping the mystery to the Cullens. I hope I have shown Bella to grow a slight backbone throughout this!
CarlaPA, I can't wait either. It's just sitting in my outline that I have written for the upcoming chapters of the story!
Shelby Duncan, haha! I have some who want the mystery to last longer and some who don't! I have it already written out in my timeline of the mystery being uncovered and it will come soon in the coming chapters. I notice usually in many stories of a supernatural Bella that she goes ahead and trusts the Cullens and tells them what she is, and I didn't want that. I wanted a Bella who… had no idea that other supernatural beings exist and it's a fascinating concept, but also to acknowledge the threat that others who are stronger than her impose.
Magda95, Thank you for your detailed review of your thoughts! I love to see it! Bella hasn't actually tried using her mind manipulation on him, yet… so we don't know if it works on vampires or not… but her gift of evasion does seem to work to her benefit against them! Yes, I wanted to keep this a Jacob and his friends- friendly story. I always adored their goofy personalities in New Moon and wanted to preserve that because Bella admired them. And yes, let's just say they had the same reaction as Jacob did and weren't too interested in duck feeding. But, the quadruple gang of friends will return in the coming chapters! Bella's evil glee… yepp! I remember when I was in highschool and doing stuff as a teenager that could cause me to get in trouble sometimes had some sort of adrenaline rush to it, so I wanted to transfer that to Bella. I'm glad you enjoyed the kitchen scene because I was very unsure about it. I wasn't sure if I introduced that way too early or not and no worries now, I have an almost completed outline for February!
Kyr, Bella's not too happy about Edward's sudden change in his demeanor towards her either, and she's coming to realize that she needs to be able to rely on herself… for now!
Breepeg, Acceptance is something that will have to be earned, definitely and it can become a problem if it is a frequent occurrence! I'm glad you noticed that a natural occurring death inflicted on a body that was buried in an unmarked spot without local authorities contacted definitely is something out of the ordinary! She will have to be more crafty. Will have to see her choice of food source in upcoming chapters and yes, Rosalie… I hope they can bond through a shared experience!
NatalieKatee, I have now almost fulfilled an outline for February and I'm really excited about it!(: Definitely threw new ideas into it that I was going to not add before, but I had figured ways they would fit. Thank you for the ideas, and I have taken note of them! I'm glad you are enjoying the story.(:
Mariana, I don't want Edward to ignore her for very long like he did in Twilight, because we are definitely not in the same situation as the canon version. Will have to see what continues with the triangle of the supernatural beings.
Kenyatta . Harmon16, THANK YOU
Quaquaquaqua, yes I wanted to throw some independence in on Bella just a tad. Not too much because she is still a girl frozen in a 16 year old body which can complicate the sense of maturity and needing help through difficult situations. I'm glad you are enjoying this different side of Bella. I do my best to keep the canon version of her, but also allow her to flourish to the aspect that she isn't a fragile human girl anymore. The wolves can be tricky, but they always hated the Cullens being around because of their threat to humans, so I figured that if I wrote this story… they wouldn't be too lenient on Bella, except for the fact that she is a beloved person to Charlie, Jacob, and Billy. And you're exactly right. They have all made their own mistakes (wolves haven't killed, but Jasper, Rosalie (sort of, she killed but didn't consume), Emmett, and Edward have had their fair share of killing humans… major hypocrites am I right?) But the secret must be preserved! I'm glad it is refreshing to you. I've read many supernatural Bella stories and have taken note of how I would have wanted them to be different.
Myfanficaddiction, OMGOMGOMG you're back! Yes, I wanted to keep this a Jacob friendly story since Edward had mentioned Jacob's pure and innocent kind thoughts in Twilight. I loved Jacob's, Quil's, and Embry's silly personality in the beginning of New Moon and wanted to preserve them! Jacob and Bella's friendship was always a soft spot for me. Yeah, Billy could have thought of better excuses, but he does care for her. God, those wolves always gotta be so skeptical, don't they? Oh hell yes they all know she killed that hiker. She isn't fooling anyone with that, haha! Hope to appease you with this chapter. Slowing it down a little bit!
Noee, thank you for being a frequent reviewer and reader! I definitely don't want to finish the story too soon. I always had felt animosity for how quickly Stephenie Meyer went through events in the original books instead of taking her time… so that's what I'm definitely trying to do. Bad reviews have been known to discourage me, but I also take them into consideration! They bring new ideas to the table!
Guest, Guest, I don't know if these two reviews are from the same people so you both get a shoutout together! I'm glad you are finding enjoyment when reading this story… thank you for the kind words… they mean so much!
X . summergrey . X, It definitely is dangerous for her because they are only in their human forms. They even know the risk of being able to possibly kill her in their wolf forms. As for the rest of your review… we will have to see!
SpeedForce 1229, Yeah, so far Billy does care about Bella.. But he is having a hard time showing it because he is worried about the threat she can bring to humans. Since we are not able to reach his POV since I am staying in Bella's, I can go ahead and say that he does not want Bella to die. He feels protective over her since he helped take care of her when she came during those summers, and because she is his best friend's daughter. But, he won't be able to stop Sam and Jared if it were to come down to her killing another…
Jlap . mypersonalfiles, I actually forgot Valentine's day existed. Haha!
Mariah, it really is amazing to hear that you and my other reviewers enjoy the story… my other story never reached out to this many people or was even close to being as popular as this one, so thank you for reviewing and letting me know! It's been a really … amazing thing to be able to read from all of you. I usually update once a week, and sometimes I'll sneak in 2 if I have enough free time… and on other occasions such as this time.. It took me over a week.
NOTICE: I want to also remind everyone, Bella's mind manipulation worked on Jared and Sam because this time there was no alpha order present that would stop her. She doesn't know that though… lol.
All rights to the characters and to the Twilight Saga go to Stephenie Meyer. Enjoy!(:
Chapter 10: Peanut Butter
Sam's body had noticeably continued to vibrate but his grasp that was tightly connected to my wrist had loosened at my command. His jaw had now locked as he continued to keep the gaze in my stare, and I had noticed that he was holding his breath as no energy was escaping from his lips. What I had done had been a risk, a major flaw in my stay here at Forks. I made sure to keep my eyes down, keep them hidden from others around me so as to not cause them to be lured to me, but Sam was much too strong for the command alone. Only with the direct eye contact could break through him.
His fingers had flexed as they unfastened around my wrist, causing his arm to shake as it was seeming to try to fight itself from letting go of me, but what I had done had rendered him. His arm had flicked to the side of his form as he breathed out a raspy breath that he had been holding in for much too long. His nostrils were flaring repeatedly as he continued his gaze on me, but his body had involuntarily begun to step backwards from the chair he formally had his grasp against and turned away along with his eye contact with me.
As he walked towards the door, he had been fighting himself again as he had opened it with a tight grip against the doorknob. He growled through his teeth as the door squeaked while he slowly opened it, pushing his weight against the wooden frame.
"We will be watching you… we all will be," he gritted through his clenched teeth, causing saliva to spew from his lips. His body had flung him through the door, pulling it closed behind him in a hard thump as it rattled the picture frame on the table against the nearest wall to the door.
I collapsed my hands against the kitchen table, my lungs heaving in breath full of air that I hadn't realized I had been denying myself of in the moment. My head felt that it had been spinning as if I had been lucid dreaming for far too long and woken up in a panic state. I blew air from the small hole in between my puckered lips in hopes to get through the whiplash feeling. That command had taken so much strength out of me so much energy, having to bore my eyes deep into his to break through to him. It must have something to do with him not being fully human, and with him being an alpha that I assumed he was. It worked on Jared, but he must not be as strong as Sam was. But what also concerned me was what this would mean between Sam and I? The lure would normally bring a man to collapse on top of me and be overcome with lust and admiration. Sam didn't show that affect towards me. I had felt an overwhelming strong victory from the moment that occurred not too long ago along with the dizziness that was still evident in my head.
I pulled the chair at the table next to me out as I turned my body to fall into it, leaning against the back of the chair with my hand clasped against my heaving chest. I closed my eyes as I tilted my head back to calm myself, rubbing the temples of my head with my other hand, using my thumb and index finger in small circular strokes.
I had briefly remembered the thawing chicken that was left on the counter unseasoned. I glanced over towards it, lightly groaning at the idea of cooking anything right now. I felt too winded, too lightheaded to try to conjure anything up for tonight's dinner, but I also didn't want to let Charlie down when he got home. Not that he would expect me to cook for him tonight, or had ever asked me to, but I enjoyed being able to cook for him, but tonight would not be that night.
I looked over at the refrigerator that held several takeout menus on it that were used frequently as I noticed the oil-stained fingertips on the pamphlets. I looked at the Chinese takeout menu on the fridge that sounded satisfying enough for tonight that would easily make Charlie and I happy for the evening. I walked over towards the fridge to grab the pamphlet, and headed towards the phone ordering Charlie steak and broccoli with pork fried rice and I ordered a large shrimp Lo Mein for the both of us to share with an egg and spring roll.
When I had ended the call, I thought about Jacob and wondered what he was doing tonight. It had thrilled me to hang out with him and his friends in the midst of the looming threat that lingered as we headed out of town, along with the sense of comfort and friendship that I had been able to form with him even after all the years we had not spoken since we were young.
I called the Chinese restaurant back confirming another order to be ready by five-thirty, placing one for an orange chicken combo with pork fried rice, another for a sesame chicken combo and two extra egg rolls. I wasn't sure what Jacob or would prefer to eat, but I knew that there was nothing that could go wrong with ordering orange chicken or sesame chicken for someone.
Edward had ignored me today which had been an unexpected turn of events. He seemed so persistent the day before to be around me with him revealing his own secret to me, 'saving' me, offering to walk me back to school to get my truck, and offering me to come inside his home that I had declined. That would not have been a reason for him to not want to speak to me anymore, would it? Was Edward the kind of person to not handle rejection well and to take it personally enough to hold a grudge or pessimism towards me? His entire family had reacted the same way to me today by withholding glances in my direction when I had my eyes bored onto their forms. Not even a discrete look other than Alice who held a sense of apologetic eyes towards me. She had to know what was occurring and had felt remorseful for her family's behavior today, but I did not know what I had done to be deserving of Edward's silence, and it had irritated me more that it was bothering me enough to think too hard about it.
Charlie had called the house to make sure I had gotten home from school safely. I had let him know that I had ordered Chinese takeout for us and wanted to ask him if it would be a good idea to invite Jacob and Billy to eat with us. He didn't seem surprised by my question because he admired that Jacob and was glad that I still held a friendship with after all of these years. He thought it would be a great idea considering a game that he and Billy would be interested in watching would be on tonight, but he had wanted Jacob to come with me to pick up the food from the Chinese restaurant and implied that he would pick Billy up on his way home from work. Charlie was feeling uneasy about the dead hiker that had died from a heart attack along with having been mysteriously and discretely buried without any notification to the police about his death. I told Charlie that I understood, and I would give Jacob a call after I hung up the phone.
I knew Billy and the pack wouldn't have made it back to La Push just yet but they would be fairly close. I would need to make the call soon before Billy had gotten home because I knew if I called by the time he makes it back, then he had been wheeled through the doors, and not let Jacob come over. He most likely would not allow Jacob to receive calls from me, but it was possible that I would be able to push him to allow Jacob to come over if he was invited, as well. I wanted him to know I was safe around his son and even though I needed an energy replenish, I was still capable enough to hang out with him.
I dialed Jacob's house phone and held the receiver to my ear, waiting for him to answer.
"Hello?" Jacob asked, sounding a tad distracted.
"Hey, Jake. It's Bella," I said enthusiastically enough.
"Oh! Bella, hey sorry," he said with more excitement. "Was reading a note on the counter that my dad left. Says he had Sam pick him up to take him to the store to get groceries. Kind of weird because that's usually my job."
"Maybe he just didn't want to bother you?" I asked innocently.
"Yeah, maybe. What's up?"
"I just wanted to know if you had any plans tonight," I twirled my finger around the cord of the phone as I leaned my back against the kitchen counter. "I ordered Chinese food for my dad and I along with two extra entrees. I thought maybe you and Billy would be interested?"
"Two nights in a row and you want me to have dinner with you and your dad? I could've sworn the population of cougars in the area was low."
"Maybe I will just invite Quil and Embry to eat the orange chicken I ordered for you instead," I teasingly threatened him. "They might be more eager to take my offer."
Jacob made an exaggerated gasp through the phone. "That would make us mortal enemies. What time?"
"I can pick you up around five-ten?" I asked. "My dad is worried about whatever happened to that hiker, so he was very clear about you coming with me to pick it up. He mentioned he would pick Billy up on his way home from work."
"Need a macho Quileute boy to protect you?"
I snorted through my nose at his comment. "Yepp," I replied, popping the P. "That's exactly right. Just meet me at the line between La Push and Forks, okay?"
"I'll see you then," he said with a single chuckle, hanging up the phone.
I walked back towards the raw chicken on the counter and put it back in the fridge along with the spices I had pulled out. I wanted to clean off before dinner, so I went upstairs to take a shower to cool myself off from the adrenaline that was poking at me continuously. It had helped calm the nerves that were surrounding my mind, along with the dizziness that I had experienced earlier. I didn't know what to make of what happened besides that I knew it had been able to render Sam and Jared this time unlike last time I had tried to command it. Maybe Sam needed more persuasion with direct eye contact to work, but the looming threat of him attacking me with lust had put me off on the idea.
I had done my usual routine after I had gotten out of the shower but had noticed that after I had dried my hair with the dryer, that my hair was starting to darken again, and my skin was becoming more ivory and translucent. The hunger was taking a toll on my appearance day-by-day that I had not fed, unlike before when I had stayed away from the urges in Phoenix. I needed to lessen my frequent feedings more, space them out so my body could attain the changes and grow more resistant to falling for the constant hunger.
I hoped having Billy over tonight with Charlie and Jacob could help ease the tension with the pack and me. I wanted to show Billy that my relationship with Charlie was just as normal as it had been before he knew what I was and before my change. Jacob on the other hand has never been in danger when he was around me besides that one point on my first day of being face to face with him again after the years of separation, but I had quickly been able to diminish that. Come to think of it, I hadn't had a noticeable craving towards Jacob last night, even though I had felt the hunger creeping when I was at school along with my time with Edward. Why had the subconscious monster no longer cared for me to go after Jacob like it had been before?
There were many unsure answers to the subconscious monster and its random urges and thoughts as they had become present. The voice had on many occasions wanted me to attack the students in Phoenix and along with times during my classes at Forks High School on my first week, but it had carried over less frequently over time. It still held a constant present around Edward if he had gotten too close to me, but the pull of Edward's unlimited energy had been almost impossible to keep my own hunger and desire from. The energy him and his family had radiated had been more potent than the humans at school and a tad more potent than the wolves. The wolves didn't contain the same unlimited energy that the Cullens had, but that could have been because of the wolves still being half human and the Cullen's being vampires. I wasn't entirely sure of the vampire anatomy, but if I would use normal stereotypes, I would suggest that they were walking corpses.
On other occasions, the subconscious monster had its way of evaluating situations. Encouraging me to lie to the Cullens and to the pack and encouraging me to run away from Edward when the secret of him being a vampire was exposed to the both of us. It seemed to have a constant presence in my head when I was encountered with unfavorable situations, but I would need more evidence to evaluate those thoughts further.
Homework was easy enough for the rest of my classes other than trig as the usual. I never expected anything different and held irritation towards the fact that becoming a succubus did not give me an advantage in intelligence when it came to math. It seemed I had the same broken and uncertain thought process when it came to numbers and formulas.
It was almost four-fifty, so I decided to go ahead and change out of my lounging shirt and put on a striped sweater and a pair of ragged jeans with sneakers. I grabbed onto my keys and some of the grocery money on the counter to go towards the meal and headed out of the door.
I noticed the scent of forestry pine that the wolves had been coated with, but there was only one of them that was nearby and the low growls were noticeable. The growls sounded the same as the one that had followed me out of town last night with Jacob and his friends meaning this must have been Sam who had grown more irritable with me since our encounter in his home when I had rendered him useless after breaking his ribs with just a press of my foot against his rib cage. He noticeably did not care too much for the fact that I had been capable of doing that, but I hadn't known I was able to either. The glow of my eyes had been news to all of us that night, and it had worried me for the reason it had sparked in their home.
I smiled at his uncertainty with me and had only expected that he knew of my plans to have dinner with Jacob and Billy who must have notified them of the plan for tonight. They would most likely follow for the protection of them both. I didn't believe Billy wanted any harm to come to me, but I also knew that he wouldn't encourage my habit when it comes to feeding. I didn't appreciate the idea of it any more than they would and I especially loathed it more than them and they weren't the ones that had to deal with it like I have to.
I climbed into my truck, driving off to head down to La Push. After over twenty minutes of the drive, noticing a shadow running in the tree line which could only be Sam, I had noticed Jacob hanging out next to the La Push sign, leaning next to it while he spun a lanyard around his finger. I pulled up slowly next to him, wincing at the backfire of the engine that constantly had surprised me, but Jacob had only laughed at me, noticing my finch.
"Thinking about getting a new car now?" Jacob asked, climbing into the passenger side of the truck. I shook my head at him.
"I love my truck," I assured him.
"Sure, sure," he replied, fastening his seatbelt. I rolled my eyes at him playfully and drove off to the local Chinese restaurant. Jacob hopped out of the truck after I handed him the money for the food to pay for it. He pulled out his own wallet to give a tip for the food which I had frowned about. I must not have had enough money for the tip. Jacob turned around, smiling at me with a giddy expression as he strides back over to the truck to get back in.
"Did I not give you enough money?" I asked, down turning the ends of my lips.
"You're picking me up and buying us food. I think I can handle paying the tip, Bells."
"Yeah, but you're only fifteen. I can't imagine your income is enough to be willing to throw around money."
"It was only a few dollars, honey," he smirked. "I think I had enough." He raised his arms behind his head as he leaned back in the seat, kicking his legs up on the dash.
"Hey! That's dangerous. Put your legs down," I scolded him, swatting my arm in his direction.
"I think I trust you to drive this slow thing," he glanced his eyes towards me with a half grin. "Wake me up when we make it back." He gently closed his eyes still holding the smile on his face
"Wow, I offer you free food and you're going to fall asleep on me?"
"If I remember correctly, I paid the tip," he replied. He shifted himself in the seat for a more comfortable position, leaning his face upwards towards the roof of my truck and closed his eyelids.
When I noticed he was falling asleep where I could hear his soft snores, I leaned my neck closer to him, inhaling deeply enough to capture a scent from him. His energy held something of a honey suckle and a mixture of citrus, but his emitted energy held no lingering effects towards me. My throat didn't burn for him, nor did the tickling sensation show up when I was near him. It was the same epiphany I had made about Charlie. Charlie had never caused the burn in my throat to flare, and nor did my mother. Now Jacob was a part of that same conclusion. I had previously analyzed this to be because of the incestual aspect of performing the heinous acts on my mother and father, but maybe it had to do with caring about a person.
I knew clearly that I cared for Jacob. He was the little brother I never was able to have, and close to someone I could soon call my best friend. There was never a dull moment when I was with him, and the feeling of home and warmth always lingered when he was near. The sense of familiarity that he brought to our friendship. For whatever reason it was, I was grateful that I wasn't prone to attack him.
When we had made it back to the house, Charlie's cruiser was already parked on the left side of the driveway where I had pulled in towards the right side of it, turning the truck engine off. Jacob's lips were slightly parted as he had softly fallen asleep in the rocking truck on the unevenly paved road. I leaned over towards him, reaching my hand out and so lightly placed my fingers against a strand of hair that was placed over the cheekbone. I moved it out of the way behind his ear and placed my hand on his shoulder, slightly shaking it to wake him up.
Jacob snorted through his sinuses as he opened his eyes, sitting up. He narrowed his eyes in anticipation to yawn, and arched his back behind him, stretching his arms to the side and letting out a deep groan from his throat.
"Good morning, sleepy head," I grinned at him with a slight chuckle.
"Oh, wow. Sorry, I didn't mean to pass out on you," he said apologetically.
"No worries. You were out late last night, so I understand."
He leaned forward, grabbing the bag of food and flipping his hair back— tucking more of the loose strands behind his ears. He raised his eyebrows at me and let out a single snort through his nose. "I'm thinking you're a bad influence on me. Your reputation so far stands." I shrugged at him, climbing out of the driver's seat and he followed behind me to head inside.
"Hey, dad. We're here with the food," I shouted across the first level of the house, placing the to-go bag on the kitchen table. Jacob walked over towards the kitchen cabinets, grabbing out plates and silverware for the four of us. I reached into the bag, pulling out the four separate entrees and placed them onto the counter. Jacob had walked over and place the four piled plates next to me with four large forks placed on top. I handed him his and Billy's food tupperware and he opened them, scooping the food onto the individual plates and I did the same for Charlie's and mine.
"I think they are going to want to eat on the couch so they can watch the game," Jacob interjected.
"I think you're right," I sighed. We grabbed the plates and followed pursuit into the living room.
"Was really nice of you to invite us over," Billy said towards me. He held an expressionless look on his face until I had glanced over towards him, which he had then forced a pressed smile. I nodded at him, flattening my lips.
"Yeah, great thinking, kid. Food smells good. I think this was a great idea ordering takeout tonight," Charlie said, outstretching his arms to take his plate from my hands. "How was school today?"
Jacob walked over towards Billy to hand him his plate, and Billy grinned at him, but slightly glanced his eyes over at me suspiciously. I nodded at him, pushing my smile to the side of my face and sat down on the other couch. Jacob walked over to me to sit next to me on the same couch and kicked his legs up onto the coffee table like Charlie had done.
"School was fine. I finished my homework before I picked up the food," I told him.
"That's good to hear," Charlie said, stabbing his fork into the steak and placing it into his mouth. "Kids treating you okay at school after the accident?"
I nodded at him, "Everyone was good after I told them I sustained no damages."
"That was really lucky for you. Glad Edward was there," he muttered in a painful tone. "I couldn't imagine what could have happened if he hadn't gotten you out of the way."
"I would have been fine; I hate that you worry."
"Of course, you're right," he muttered. "So, you hang out with that Newton boy at school?"
"He's nice enough," I replied, raising my eyebrow at him with a questioning stare. "A guy named Ethan started sitting with us at lunch recently. Him and Mike have both been good buddies so far."
"Are you having trouble making any friends with some of the girls at your school?" Charlie's voice now grew with concern. I had to take a pause to reiterate why he would ask that question of me but had remembered what he had been referring to. He was hinting towards the situation that had happened a few weeks before the last day of fall break which was a topic that neither of us were comfortable talking about, nor did we ever speak of it since it had happened.
"No. I sit with Jessica Stanley, Angela Weber, and Lauren Mallorey at lunch," I explained. "I'm thinking of inviting Jessica over one day and making her dinner in return for her to tutor me in trig."
"Math still not your favorite?" Charlie asked.
"Definitely not," I sighed, tapping my fork against the Lo Mein, winding the individual strands of noodles between the teeth of the fork and lifting it into my mouth. Jacob had slightly moaned next to me. I glanced over at him as he was leaned fully back into the couch while he continued chewing on the piece that was in his mouth with his eyes closed in satisfaction. I smirked at him.
He peaked one eye open at me as he narrowed it. "What?" he asked.
"Nothing at all," I laughed and noticed the pressure against my hand from the plate of Lo Mein in my grasp. I looked down, noticing Jacob was trying to steal some of the contents from my plate, and I had quickly pulled it away from him. "Hey!" I screeched at him.
"Oh, c'mon! I just want some of your shrimp," He pouted his bottom lip. I raised my eyebrow at him, confused if he had believed it was possible for me to give in to him.
"Fine," shit.
Charlie laughed at our interaction, but Billy had stayed silent until the game came back on from the commercial break. The night continued with Charlie and Billy discussing the game that was on the tv that neither Jacob or I had been interested in. I cleaned our plates from the room and sat back on the couch, leaning against the armrest and inching my feet towards the middle cushion of the couch. I was bored of the interaction of the room as it had grown dull with talk of sports and the different players on the team and possible outcomes of the future games to show.
I leaned forward to sit myself back straight onto the couch and swung my legs over to place them back onto the floor. I stood up and grabbed the empty plates from everyone that was attuned into the game and walked over to the kitchen to rinse them off. I wiped my hands with a paper towel and shuffled my feet back into the living room. I stood there, rocking back and forth on the heels of my feet, looking over at Jacob.
"You going upstairs, kiddo?" Charlie asked.
"Just a little loud in here, not going to bed yet," I admitted. "Jake?" I asked looking over at him signally for him to follow me where then Billy's eyes widened as he looked over between me and Jake, hoping that his son would not climb up the stairs after me.
Charlie grumbled as he looked over at Jake who was getting off of the couch, but Jake only nodded at him with a smile and to his dad too.
"Door open, you two," Charlie muttered.
"No problem, Chief," Jacob patted him on the shoulder in a condescending way that had caused a giggle to erupt from me.
I shook my head at him, unable to wipe the laughable grin that had plastered over the lines of my face. Jacob smiled back at me and followed me up the steps to my room where we had obeyed Charlie by leaving the door open. Jacob was the first to collapse on top of my bed horizontally to it and he rolled onto his side, examining the workbook for trig that was laying on top of it. He reached his hands to grab the broken pencil that I had forgotten I had split in half out of frustration from earlier.
"Sometimes I forget that little ole you have such a temper," he smirked, holding the two pieces back together where the break was. He looked over at me while he placed the pencil back onto the notebook as I crossed the room to sit at the head of the bed, leaning my back against the pillows. He lifted his head up to look around my room now realizing he never had been here before. "Wow, I don't really know what I expected your room to look like, but it wasn't really this."
"It's the same furniture from when I was a kid, other than the computer monitor," I replied.
"You didn't want to change it up?"
"No, it wouldn't really make sense to. I'll hopefully be leaving for college next year after I graduate."
He frowned, "Oh, right. I forgot about college."
I raised my eyebrow questionably at him, kicking my legs up against his turned thighs situating them in a comfortable position. He playfully pushed my legs off of him causing another set of laughs to escape from the both of us.
"How do you stay up so late and still are as alive as ever. I've been exhausted all day," He rolled onto his back, stretching his arms out across the bed and winced when he had heard his spine crack as he arched his back. He exhaled a satisfied moan as he settled back onto the bed comfortably.
"I guess I can blame it on insomnia," I sarcastically spoken the lie. "Sorry about that. I'll make sure I get you three home earlier next time."
"No way, we had a lot of fun. Even if the adventure was all for feeding ducks, we still had a good time. Was nice to get off the rez." He turned his head, inspecting the room again, looking in the different directions of the walls, and scanning the furniture that was placed in the room along with the things that I hadn't had the chance to clean off of the floor. "Do you shop online regularly?"
"Not too often, but often enough, yeah," I admitted. The package for my bulk worth of contacts had come in the mail on Monday. Charlie had brought it up to my bedroom early in the morning while I was asleep still. Thankfully, he never opened the taped brown box.
"So, where do you get all your money from? Do you have a job?" He asked, yawning through his question. He smacked his lips together as I noticed his eyes were becoming droopy.
"No, I had saved up quite a bit of money to get a car when I arrived here, but Billy saved the day on that one by offering me the truck. I do need to think about getting one though," I admitted. I had contemplated my job options not too frequently as I should have, but past thoughts had given me a general idea of something I should investigate. "Maybe I could get a job at a nursing home or something."
"You want to take care of old people?" He jokingly questioned.
"I'm not qualified to do that, but I'm sure I can get a receptionist job there for the time being. I like helping people," I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them and leaning my head against the top of them. It wasn't that I had liked helping old people like he had worded his question, but the aspect behind the nursing home was part of an idea that I had come across before. The idea of being able to help them when the medical field would fail them. The idea of taking away their pain when they wanted it the most.
"That's kind of neat of you," he replied. "I told you I'm a part time mechanic, right?"
I nodded, "Yeah, you briefly mentioned that you're building a car from scratch."
"Should be finished within the next year when I get the rest of the parts, but I have a side job for the next couple of days. Harry Clearwater asked if I could take a look at the engine on his truck."
"You fix engines?" I asked.
"Bella," he paused laughing, interlocking his fingers behind his head, propping his gaze up towards me. "There is no one that is going to be able to fix that engine of yours around here. Yeah, your truck is loud, but it runs."
"I wasn't complaining," I said. "But I could use new tires. Know a fifteen-year-old mechanic around here that could find me some and replace the ones I already have?"
"I could make a few calls and ask around," he snickered.
I paused, looking over at his eyes that continued to be held only halfway open. "You know, we really got to find something cooler to do than eat Chinese on the couch while Billy and Charlie yell at the game," I lightly chuckled. "I have a reputation to keep."
"What would you have in mind?" He raised an eyebrow along with a tired smirked grin in interest.
"Not sure, but you'll be the first to know when I figure it out."
After another half an hour of conversation between the two of us in my room, Charlie had come up the stairs to let Jacob know that he was going to take him and Billy home. Jacob nodded and reached over towards me to envelope me in his arms on the bed. His skin had felt a comforting warmth as I leaned my cheek against the crook of his neck. I could smell the sweet citrus and honeysuckle scent that seeped from him, but the scent only held familiarity and caused no aching distraction in my throat. Jacob had to be my favorite person that I've met in my lifetime, and with this, I had hoped for it to be the reason I nor the subconscious monster wanted to hurt him. He smirked at me and headed out of my room to follow Charlie down the stairs. I told him to tell Billy goodnight for me.
I got off of the bed and walked to the window facing the street. Jacob had helped wheel Billy off of the front porch and down the staircase towards Charlie's cruiser. I noticed Billy was turning his head towards the direction of my room, glancing at me. He nodded with an apologetic smile, which I had returned one with understanding. I understood that Billy had cared about me and had only been worried for the sake of his son and for the reason that I could be possibly dangerous. I was dangerous. I was a danger to everyone in the town of Forks, but as for his son, he could be around me for even my more severe cases of hunger and I still wouldn't dream to hurt him. Being around Jacob was as easy as breathing, and a little more tolerable than an ordinary younger brother would be. He made me briefly forget what I was.
School went as normal as I had expected it to be over the course of the next two weeks. It was Friday now, so new lessons had come to an end and held only a small amount of notes for the new chapters we were going to go through the next week. I was thrilled during trig class when I had finally understood one of the sections we were learning and had been able to write down my answers for the problems that Mr. Varner had written on the board. A smile tugged at my lips as I breathily chuckled looking down at the correct numbers and formulas I had used for the question. Jessica glanced forward from her desk to look over at what I had been giddy about, and I could see in my peripheral view that she too had a small smile on her face. Maybe she was content to not hear my daily groans of frustration throughout the period.
She walked with me to the lunch table like we do in our usual routine after the period. She spoke about what her mom was up to the other day and had been thoroughly surprised she had taken up gardening. She thought it was a filthy hobby that only existed to ruin your nails and dry your skin out. I tried to reassure her that it could be something very calming for her mother along with the beauty that will come from it when the plants are fully grown, but Jessica wasn't convinced.
"Bella! Okay, you got to hear this out," Mike said enthusiastically with angst on his tongue. I cocked my eyebrow towards him, sitting down at the table and pulling out my leftover enchiladas from last night out of my lunchbox from my bookbag. "Ethan here," he collapsed his hand against Ethan's shoulder. "Has got a new girlfriend."
"No, I don't!" Ethan argued with an embarrassed blush consuming his apple cheeks. "We're just friends…" he muttered.
"That's not what Jenny's friend told me last period!" Mike guffawed, shaking Ethan's shoulder to egg him on. "She said you and she had a pretty heated moment last night during your tutoring session."
"Stop it, dude! Cara has got it all wrong and so does Jenny!" Ethan's eyebrows furrowed at him and had shoved Mike's hand from his adjacent shoulder. "Why do you always have to be in my business."
"I think it's great," I spoke. "I can't say that I know her though, but I'm sure if she likes you then she has to be nice."
"You should invite her to our table sometime," Angela suggested.
"Jenny Cathcart?" Lauren asked with disgust in her tone. "God no, you cannot invite her to this table."
"Why not?" I asked.
"She's a total nerd," she replied, barely glancing over at me. Lauren had always been the most disheveled of the group that didn't seem to take a liking towards me. "If she sits at this table, then we are moving to a new one. End of discussion."
"Jenny is a nice girl," Tyler said. "You don't have to be so dense all the time." Lauren's jaw dropped including the rest of the table that didn't seem too surprised by the words, but more so that they had been spoken. She glanced over at me, scoffing as she looked back at Tyler. I could see the boiling blood of anger rushing through her pale cheeks as she stood up, grabbing her backpack and leaving her food tray behind. She 'hmphed' as she walked away, flicking her hair over her shoulder to sway against her back as she headed out of the lunchroom.
"Wow," Eric blinked. "Finally, someone said it." The table had uproar in laughter, not including me. I hadn't had interest in the rest of the conversation as I had glanced over towards the cafeteria table in the far corner of the room where the Cullens were sitting there silently playing with the food on their plates with the aluminum forks. They still were ignoring my existence, other than Alice who peaked in my direction until Rosalie had hissed at her. I apologetically smiled at her, feeling worried that it was my fault that had caused that reaction from her.
The lunch bell had rung causing Tyler, Ethan, and Mike to follow me out of the cafeteria. I glanced over one more time at the table in the corner, noticing they were mumbling words under their breaths that I couldn't decipher clearly through the commotion of the students leaving and entering the cafeteria.
"So, since Ethan has his own little study partner, I thought maybe you and I could get together and compare notes," Mike said, swinging his arm around my shoulder. I faintly felt stunned at his nearness as his energy had seeped through his words. He had been slightly hunched over to have his face closer to mine as he spoke his suggestion. It had caused the ripe burn in my throat to overwhelm me in the moment, but I had tried to allow myself to push through the uncomfortableness of it. I needed to feed. I needed to feed tonight.
I looked away from him, hiding my eyes as I could feel the contacts slightly singing away at his nearness. My body wanted him to be closer, to bring his lips closer to mine, to complete the Lure.
Control, the subconscious monster had fumbled through my mind. Control yourself, parvulus. That was new. Usually, the subconscious monster had been a fiend and would have urged the idea to take Mike at the very moment in the hallway, but this time it had given words of encouragement to behave myself.
I swallowed through the pooling saliva in my throat and had moved my fingers towards my shoulder to latch onto his. I gently picked up his hand by one of them and pulled it away from me, letting his arm swing to a drop next to his body. He frowned at my interaction with him and had looked hurt.
"Mike, I appreciate the thought, but I do need to go ahead and tell you before I allow this to drag any further," I swallowed another mouth full of saliva that was pooling under my tongue. "I just want to let you know that before you expect whatever this is between us, such as our friendship, to go any further, that I'm staying clear of relationships."
His lips parted as he straightened his posture away from my smaller height. "Bella, I'm sorry it's not like that I swear."
"I'm not dumb, Mike," I sighed. "And I'd hate for you to think I'm an idiot because I'm not." I shifted my glance to another direction, towards the backpack of the girl walking in front of us. "You're a good friend to me and I want to keep it that way."
Mike had been rendered silent as his eyes were filled with thoughts and pained rejection. Ethan on the other hand, had looked curiously at me.
"Why are you staying clear of relationships?" He asked.
"I've dealt with really unkind boys in the past," I spoke with an non expressional tone. It wasn't a lie. I have dealt with some unhealthy situations at my old school and on the night of my transformation. The other reason held for that I hated that they only were so enamored with me because of what my species does to them. Causes them to lose focus on potential relationships with others if my presence was around. They seemed to be able to conduct through their regular scheduled lives outside of school, but not during it. Another reason was that I was no longer aging, and I would never grow old to be able to have a real relationship with them, not to mention that I would immediately and regrettably kill them once affectionate gestures enlightened.
"We're nice, aren't we?" Ethan asked with a small pout of his bottom lip as he had looked possibly nervous and worrisome.
"I wouldn't hangout with you guys if you weren't," I grinned in their direction, keeping my eyes locked to another moving object in front of me in the hallway. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to the restroom before class."
I slipped away from them, navigating myself past the crowd in the hallway to make it to the lady's room. Surprisingly, no one had been in here in between class changes and I had quickly slipped in a fresh pair of new contacts.
When I had walked out of the bathroom, I noticed Tyler leaned against the wall waiting for me.
"Hey, Bella," he sighed, flattening his lips. "Are you still doing okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine," I eyed him suspiciously. "Why?"
"I still feel horrible for what had happened. I know I've already told you sorry, but it's not enough. I could've killed you."
"But you didn't," I replied, trying to appease him.
"But I could have. Please, tell me what I can do to make it up to you," he stepped away from the wall, looking down at me as he placed his hand on the back of his neck, lightly grazing it.
"There really is nothing you need to do. I've forgiven you, not that there was anything to forgive. The parking lot was really icy that day, others were having a hard time trying to park, too."
He sighed, glancing away from me at the near empty hallways.
"Hey, I've got to get to class. Don't beat yourself up about it, okay?" I smiled sheepishly at him. He leaned forward wrapping his arm around my upper back and pulled me into a hug. My cheek had clashed against his hooded jacket buttons as he held on tighter to me, letting out another heavy breath of air through his lungs.
"Alright, I'll see you later then," he replied, letting go of me.
I headed through the now empty halls on the way to Mr. Banner's class. He looked at me confused as to why I was late, but I faintly smiled at him and lowered my gaze as I headed to my seat next to Edward.
As expected, he had ignored me again like he had done all of last two weeks, keeping his gaze on the notebook as he briefly looked over his shoulder towards the window again, gazing out of it, while his facial expressions changed every few minutes. I kept my gaze on him, steading my even short breaths to hold myself back from inhaling any deeper. The burn was unimaginable when he was near. The force of it rendered me into an uncomfortable high that held its grip tethered against my tonsils.
He scribbled down more notes in the old literature styled calligraphy as he had seemed to always write in. No mistakes were made in each stroke, until the bell had rung for class to dismiss when he had scrapped the line of the 't' far over on the paper. He had quickly gathered his things into his bag and had left out of the room leaving me feeling dazed, confused even. I exhaled a heavy breath that had been yearning to be released through the short breaths. I clasped my hand over my forehead to stabilize the dizziness I had found myself in and packed up my things to follow Mike out of the room to the gym.
The supernatural only provides confused whiplash.
They must have figured out what I was and had decided that they no longer wanted to associate with me. I was back to being alone in a supernatural world with two different species against me; two different species where one I could hold myself against in their human form, and the other that I wasn't too sure of. I had no knowledge of vampires or their combat, speed, or strength, but I would not be too arrogant to believe that I had a chance against seven of them.
Edward was faster than I was, and so were the wolves, though that fact hadn't bothered me significantly, knowing that I could throw them off easily by hiding my scent from them so they don't know where to follow. The issue is getting a head start out of their sights before they find their way to get to me. Though, I knew I couldn't just leave because I had Charlie to think about. I couldn't hurt him that way, even if I was risking my life. I knew his life would be safe because no one was after him in either situation, or I had a chance of survival in both situations, but that chance could be decreased significantly if I stay. I had no one.
I could not leave. I couldn't run away and hide. I would be a coward, but I would be a coward with some self-preservation if I did decide that path for myself.
No. I wouldn't do that to Charlie. I need to carry on with my path of school including the path of pretending to be Charlie's seventeen-year-old normal daughter who will one day graduate high school, graduate college, get a career, and then retire. That was the persona I would need to continue impersonating to get through this, to keep things normal for Charlie and not ruin the time he had left with me before I would need to take off on my own after graduation.
When I had gotten home, I checked the messages seeing that one was from Charlie letting me know that he would be coming home late tonight and to not worry about dinner. He assured me nothing was wrong—that one of the deputies had to take off tonight from the evening shift, so Charlie would be looking further into the hiker case. He would not be able to find a lead on that, especially not a lead that would come back to me, and I knew that.
It was a good thing that Charlie was not going to be coming home. We were running low on groceries, especially on meats and carb loaded side dishes for the meals. We still had a plentiful number of vegetables since they were not his favorite, so I was the one that would eat them and use them less in the dishes knowing Charlie would push them to the side of his plate.
I sighed as I continued to scratch my finger along my throat, trying to cool down the flames that were still there, just less apparent. I knew I would need to hunt soon, and possibly I would go tonight if I knew that the wolves were not around. They had been following me since Jacob and I were hanging out together and had returned almost every night since. They would return to the tree line, hiding in the darkness, waiting for me to leave. I would need to keep my guard up and find a way past them, because without hunting anytime soon, I would cause a mistake in Forks that would be unforgivable to both parties, and I would end up dead.
I would notice that on some nights when the wolves were not there in the trees, the same scent of overly sweet decadent honey lingered outside in a place where the wolves would hide. The Cullens were watching me too but it was strange enough since they had pretended that I didn't exist at school. Each time the recognizable energy scent had lingered, it was a new Cullen that was watching me, but the scent was never of Edward's.
I grabbed my keys to my truck after rummaging through the fridge and pantry to make a list of what I needed to pick up from the store. Eggs were something I was going through quickly since the yolk had caused a sticky seal over my tonsils that would soothe the burn long enough. Same thing with peanut butter and jelly but there were about two more servings of it before it was gone so I had added that to the list amongst ingredients. I went outside, pausing as I locked the door, scenting the pine smell of the wolves again. Both of the wolves were near and had been hiding in the tree line, but they weren't inching forward. They most likely were watching me to keep me at bay, to keep me from leaving the area to commit another murder.
I felt frustrated knowing that they were not going to give up keeping me here or they were going to follow me. I would not be able to feed while they were around. If only they knew that that was a bigger mistake than allowing me to go out of town to feed. I was more of a threat to the people of Forks when I needed to feed than when I was being starved out.
"I'm going to the grocery store!" I shouted at the tree line, flexing my fingers. I heard grunts in the woods that were not growls, but as if they were understanding of my intentions for leaving. I relaxed my body, nodding at the tree line where the sound had come from. I walked towards my truck, fumbling with my keys, and opening the door to climb in. I huffed out an aggravated sigh and placed the key into the ignition, hearing the truck roar to life.
The AC of the truck began to blow to heavy cool air in my direction, causing the strands of my hair to ruffle as I reached over to change the dial on the pressure. I paused, feeling the sense of relief and almost a satisfying touch as the icy chill of the forced air had been something of pleasure against my throat. I hummed, closing my eyes and leaning my back against the seat, angling my head in different directions so the cold forced air could linger over in different areas. It was soothing the fire that was tingling in my throat, and I had felt grateful for it. I breathed in heavy breaths of the cool hair, exhaling them afterwards and grabbed onto my steering wheel, putting it into reverse and headed onto the street.
The grocery store clerk at the entrance smiled at me as I held my head down, looking at the cart that I was pushing, trying to distract myself with other thoughts than the burn in my throat. I headed first towards the deli station, letting the woman know behind the counter that I would need a pound of smoked honey turkey and half a pound of provolone cheese. I smiled at the woman as she handed me the two items and I carried on down the deli and meat isle to get the other important meats that Charlie and I both preferred. The other items I needed were bread and condiments along with vegetables for side dishes. I also made sure to pick up a large carton of eggs and thick cuts of bacon and sausage patties.
A too noticeable sweet decadent honey scent bloomed down another isle that I hadn't traveled near, but I had ignored it while trying to swallow saliva to sooth the pain. It had to of been a Cullen that was nearby that would cause such a fuss against my control. I picked up jelly and cream cheese along with a new jar of crunchy peanut butter that had excited me. I ventured further, looking at the pastas at the far end of the isle, deciding between lasagna or spaghetti noodles for the week depending on what I would make, though I had decided on getting both to avoid having to come back later. I inhaled a deep breath, exhaling to calm my nerves at the many appealing energies in the store, but the one from the Cullen had been closer from the other aisle. The strong decadent honey had caused the saliva to drool from the edges of my lips.
Isabella, imperial,the subconscious monster had spoken. Chances of attack would not be in favor. Auferetur ambulant.
Though my body did not want to listen, it was needing to feed. I was curious because I knew of the scent that was dancing across my tongue and that it would cause me a great deal of pain but I had been curious as to whom it belonged to. It was not Edward, nor any of his siblings that I had been able to individually identify.
I turned the corner to investigate but had immediately crashed against the handle of the shopping cart as I collided against another.
"Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie," A soothing musical voice had spoken. Fire, pain, hunger. I looked up, outlining my eyes over her form, staring at the caramel waves that draped over her shoulders. My heart was pounding as I was now recognizing the person, or vampire, to the scent. It was Esme.
It had felt as my body had jolted as her energy had torn through my esophagus. Her eyes looked panicked at me as if she was a deer caught in the headlights. They were wide but beaming with the same gold that Edward had the other night after he had torn his teeth through the deer. I could not ignore the pain that was searing like a T-bone steak on a grill as it tore through the tissue in my throat. She was causing the pain that was rendering me weak, weak from my own control.
I snarled through my teeth, pushing my cart against hers, causing the sound of a large collision as I left it there, left her looking startled at my actions. I tore past the customers in the store, pushing my way past their carts as they had all looked at me with confusion. Some cursed at me as I pushed past them at the exit doors, but their words and small condescending short sentences towards my actions had stricken through my ears as I kept moving out of the doors.
I needed to get out of here before I had intently murdered someone here. I was not in control.
Once I had gotten into the parking lot, I did not care to see if there was a car trying to cross the road. Instead, I had continued further, frantically trying to remember where I had parked my truck. I inhaled quick short breaths as I turned around, looking until my eyes had caught onto the large metal frame of my red vehicle. I hastily jogged over to it, tearing the door open causing the whining metal of the door to become apparent. I climbed into the seat, jumbling my keys in my hands to place them into the ignition to start my truck with the loud heavy fire of the engine. The icy air of the truck's AC had come at me full force. I let out a large exhale at the abruptness of the soothing effects that it had on me.
The air of the AC had brought in the other human scents, but those scents no longer were something I was after. It was as if they were still desirable, like seeing a bag of Reese's pieces on the counter after having a sweet tooth all day, but I knew I could find something better. I wanted the giant Reese's cup that was in the pantry amongst the pieces. The giant Reese's cup that I knew I couldn't resist or let alone have to exhort a lot of willpower against myself from consuming it as it had stared at me with its large molten gold eyes.
I paused in my seat, hearing her sweet, musical voice as she had been scolding someone. Esme was still inside, but she was on the phone with one of her family members.
"Carlisle, I don't know if we should keep doing this! She just caused a scene at the grocery store," she frantically said. I could hear the worry in her voice. "Someone was supposed to be watching her and I wasn't sure if she was going to attack me or someone here! — well those boys need to be in their human form next time. I'm sure she's not finding their wolf presence all too friendly… she looked so scared, Carlisle." She held a muffled sobbed. "She looked like she was in pain when she saw me, and I couldn't help her. I just stood there in shock just as she was! — No, you tell those wolves that this is unfair to her as it is to our family. She doesn't deserve to be alone; she deserves people like us who can help her through whatever is going on— I don't care, my dear. I care about her, and I care about what she is going through. — we can handle ourselves, and I think it is uncharacteristic-like of you to have agreed to their terms."
I heard multiple cash registers open, but one in particular near her. Groceries were being bagged and put into her cart by a helping hand. The wheels of her cart began to squeal as she continued her pace on the tile floors of the store.
"Then fix this, Carlisle," she scolded. I saw the automatic doors open as she pushed her cart through them. The wheels of the cart were turning back and forth as she kept it moving forward. I saw her eyes glancing back and forth at the parking lot as she continued, but then they had locked onto my truck. I moved my eyes away, glancing down at my lap, breathing thoroughly though the cold air in my truck. I glanced up again, seeing her walk closer to my truck, elegantly waving her thin arm at me as she proceeded forward.
Her conversation on the phone had confused me. She had seemed worried and even distraught because of me, because of something that was going on that I wasn't aware of. The wolves seemed to be a part of the source behind what she had been upset about, including me. She seemed upset with her husband for agreeing to terms that I wasn't sure of what they were. Terms that they had with the wolves that involved me. Had to have been the source for why the Cullens had been ignoring me.
She parked the cart in front of my truck. I gasped when she looked at me, with her lips upturned in a shy smile. She grabbed some bags of groceries out, pulling them onto her arms. She patted the cart's handle, nodding at me.
"Bella, I got your groceries for you, and some other stuff. I was not sure what you were shopping for, but I added extra to the cart. I hope you don't mind," Esme spoke in her sweet motherly tone. "Now," she backed away with her bags in her arms, leaving the shopping cart. "You take these home with you. I'm so… I'm so sorry," she held her sobs back from her throat. She shook her head, looking down as she turned and walked back to her car in a more than humanly quick motion.
I looked back at her, and then back towards the cart that was in front of my truck. I tapped my fingers frantically against the steering wheel, holding my breath and waiting for her to get out of the parking lot after she had cranked the engine of her vehicle. My knee was bouncing at the nerves that were coursing through me. Why had she done this for me? Why had she taken notice to want to help me or bring me my groceries? I didn't need her to pay for these. I would have eventually gone back to the store later to get these items once I was able to regain my self-control, but it was still burning, creeping on me, waiting for me to break.
I shook my head, finding that I could possess control if I quickly grabbed the groceries and jumped back in my car before I had inherited the stale scent that Esme left behind. I did what I had thought was the right plan, and had grabbed the bags of groceries, slinging the handles of the bags through my arms and kicking the shopping cart into the cart lane in the space across from me. I turned around, jumping back into my truck and throwing the groceries into the passenger seat of the car.
I dug my hands through the bags, looking for a certain item and noticing the many piles of vegetables and extra meats she had packed along with cheeses, sauces, and herbs she more than generously added to my list. One item in particular was on my mind as I continued rummaging until I had been able to find it. The jar of peanut butter that was hidden behind the bag that held the loaf of bread. I grabbed onto the jar, untwisting it and ripping off the paper seal that separated the peanut butter and the lid. I dug my fingers through the peanut butter and hasted to place them into my mouth, having the unreal satisfying tingle through my body as the thick and creaminess of the peanut butter along with the crunchy pieces coated my searing throat.
I leaned back in my seat, exhaling a heavy breath and moan as I was now almost free from the loss of control I had almost experienced. While my actions towards the peanut butter jar had been barbaric, it was a much needed release.
A/N
NOTICE: be prepared for the next chapter. New revelations are coming into play…
I want to say I'm sorry for not updating for over a week. I had this idea that I was going to put into this chapter… and as I was writing it, It had taken me days to realize the problem and I scratched it out. I realized it had conflicted with future events… and so I dismissed it and had to come up with something different.
I hope to receive at least 5 reviews on this chapter before I update again! Thank you… so much to the many reviews I have already gotten. I am so thoroughly grateful. Until next time!(: