Welcome back! Thank you so so much to, kitsune2477, Magda95, edwardamcullens, Joana, Guest, LostNConfused101, myfanficaddiction, writingblondie, Noee, Guest, Sharpeyes, William Francies Reisen-Newman, Pianogirl05, Kyr, leofrick, Guest, and KittenAlice2 for reviewing!
Kitsune2477, Oh! We share birthdays! May 18th buddies. Happy Birthday to you! I'm glad you are enjoying the chapter! (:
Magda95, Yes, she has been battling with her trauma for a while now, and seeing their actions towards the girl and having to attack them and heare Lonnie's words were very much detrimental. Yes, I wanted Bella to be able to find some comfort in him at the end. Just someone to hold onto. I'm really happy with the responses about Mrs. Weaver and how you guys liked her character. Honestly, after that fight scene… I'm not sure I want to even write Bella as a vigilante. I cannot write fighting scenes if my life depends on it! Yes I definitely want them to have a conversation about it. Also! Please reach out to me in a direct message about what you would like to do for Bella's next victim! (:
Edwardamcullens, Yah, it is hypocritical lmao. She knows everything that he is, but no one knows what she is. In a way, it definitely is because she's outmatched.
Joana, thank you! Sorry for the tear ducts! Ahah!
Guest, yes will be updating more now!
LostNConfused101, Thank you! Here is the next chapter!
myfanficaddiction, THANK YOU! did. Spent the evening with my father and boyfriend watching a Netflix movie with Amy Adams, and had Christmas eve confetti spaghetti. Very good stuff. Seafood. I love it. Finals were ROUGHHH. Yeah, it's about time I start getting them closer together, aint it? I have about 3 more chapters written ahead in my timeline, but I am getting to the [Edward,Bella] soon! I didn't want to force them together, ya know? I want it to… blossom. They both feel that electrical spark between them when they touch, so they are mates, but Bella definitely has a lot going on mentally that keeps her closed off. Thank you, yes usually Port Angeles scenes happen close to the way they do in the book, so I thought… "why not start it earlier when Lonnie and his goons go after a different victim instead of the same night in March when they go after her? Let's put it in February!" Yeah, Edward is in the background listening in on the thoughts like. "Grrr.. do I jump in and save her? Evil thoughts blah blah… nah Bella's got this. Look at how amazing she is." Yes. the breakdown. She has got a lot of trauma from past encounters… so it was too much being upclose to this scene for her. This actually is from mythological legends that I had talked to a close family friend about when I was discussing my story with them. Basically Succubi and Incubi normally perform sexual encounters on their victims, but if they choose not to, they can project sexual desires and images in their victim's minds to arouse them further so that they taste better. When I had heard this, I thought… "give it to Bella. She could totally use this and not know she's doing it until it's happening." I find that in Bella's more vulnerable positions (eyes glowing when her succubus self is heightened) that she finds out more… about herself. Yes, Lonnie tasted better because he was very much aroused and in an excited state. I am also looking forward to you guys meeting Abigail, it will happen eventually, but it's.. Selective. Yeah, I've been kind of whiplashing it here and there. Giving her a normal 'human' life and getting into her more succubus side as well.
writingblondie, Yes, I hope the trigger warning reached out to everyone! Yes, definitely getting a Rosalie connection here in a way, so eventually… they can spark a friendship! Thank you!
Noee, thank you for the birthday wishes! I hope I get this next update out soon.. Well here it is now but I typed your shout out days before I updated again.
Guest, thank you!(:
Sharpeyes, Thank you so much and thank you for that 9.5/10 rating. I really appreciate it and yes. I cannot write a fighting scene if my life depends on it, man. I have been trying to find good ones to read so that I could write this one… and still struggled. I probably sat on this chapter for a whole 12 hours without continuing. I stopped right when Bella left the bookstore and just sat there… staring at my screen not knowing what to do. I knew what I was going to do, because I had dialogue written in my outline, but I couldn't figure out how to… write the action. So, like I said I did go and search fan fictions that had fighting scenes. A lot of the times they would use "seeing red," to bypass an action point, which is what I tried to do, lol. So like, when she saw red, she had kicked Lonnie into a wall, and used her speed to grab Travis and get him into a choke hold. That was that... LMAO. So the BDSM… I was telling my family friend who writes fanfiction for Naruto that I was writing a story about Bella being a Succubus. He got excited and was like "wow, so you have bella having sex with people? So scandalous." and I said.. No…. I couldn't push that because it's so out of canon for her to want to do that with someone she doesn't care about because she never had those feelings for other boys before... And because she has trauma. And we talked more about succubus mythology and he told me that Succubus can actually… force images into the minds of their victims to heighten their arousal for a more pleasurable snack. So, I thought, well Bella never had that before, so why would she do that now? But it also sounds really neat.. Right? So! I thought about how whenever Bella's eyes glow, she finds out more about herself than she had before, because she's heightened when her eyes are glowing. So I thought I could introduce that into this chapter… and it's a 50/50 on whether you guys would or would not enjoy that lol.
NaFemaleGem, thank you! Yes, since Edward can read minds, he definitely was able to see exactly what was going on! No, I wanted to take Genetics in the fall, but it was during the same time as my other classes, so I couldn't. And then I couldn't afford to live on campus during the summer just for one course, so I was going to take Genetics during the summer at the University near my home town, but they ended up not offering genetics for the summer semester… sigh I really needed it. But I did land a receptionist job for this summer!(:
William Francies Reisen-Newman, thank you!
Pianogirl05, thank you so much!
Kyr, thank you! And yes, those stories had been some of my favorites, as well!(:
leofrick, thank you so much! Yes I wanted to keep the characters mostly in character, such as the Cullens, and Bella is only slightly changed because she has gone through different experiences, but nonetheless, still Bella in her own way. Having Mrs. Weaver tell Bella that she should tell Charlie had been a whim decision that I added to my outline when I decided to write that chapter. I watched H2O growing up and always was annoyed that they never told their parents that they were mermaids… lmao. But, when she was a vampire in the original, that was understandable that they couldn't actually tell Charlie because of the Volturi being on their radar, but there is no almighty succubus law makers, so she could if she wants to. (That we know of…. Nah. If there was, I'm sure vampires would know about it)
Guest, I appreciate it!(:
KittenAlice2, Bella is a danger magnet, of course! Yes, Charlie was a topic that I wanted to push into that conversation between her and Mrs. Weaver because… well the idea of leaving your parents behind and eventually having to fake your death haunts me. I could NEVERRRR. The thought of my own parents come to mind and I don't think they could make it through that. If it does come down to Bella making that decision to tell him, there definitely will be pushed similarities with the conversation in Breaking Dawn… possibly. Edward definitely enjoyed seeing Bella kick ass. We don't get his POV, so my readers do not know what has been going through his own thoughts and conversations with his family throughout the story, so it definitely does leave questions. The wolves though wouldn't be happy if they were to find out, but they also don't have jurisdiction to make demands because she killed outside of Forks.
-o-
So, Bella has now learned more about her succubus gifts… that her mind control isn't as limited as she believed it to be, that she can use more commands. Also, that Bella can force images and scenes into her victims' minds… causing sexual arousal to heighten… making a tastier snack… That's pulled from actual mythology of a succubus.
All rights to these characters and to the Twilight Saga go to Stephenie Meyer. Enjoy!(:
Chapter 14: Cool Touch
It's too much.
It was just too damn much.
I repeated frequently in my head. The images flashed against the blackness in my thoughts. Screams and laughter continued to fill the audio that lined up with the images, possibly even had lagged a bit as the temples of my skull pulsated into a headache that had conjured from the tears that I hadn't realized were releasing down my face. It did not matter who I had killed anymore, that was clear to me. No matter what I had done tonight; saving that frightened girl who almost met her own experience, letting the petrified man go who had no clue what to do in the instance of shock, and killing the two men who were responsible for the disgusting cruel fates of other girls, it didn't matter. It wasn't going to save me from myself. It wasn't going to redeem me or possibly help push past my own demons. I had slightly hoped. Only hoped. But the images only flashed more now.
"Shh," a smooth velvety voice had whispered in worry as a thumb that connected to that voice had brushed underneath my eyes.
"Everything is alright, you're safe," it spoke again. "Bella… I'm going to drive you home, okay? And I'll make sure to tell Charlie that…" it paused, sighing heavily. "I'm not sure what to tell him… but you're safe. I just want you to know that you're safe."
I slightly leaned into his touch, clenching my lids tighter as the blackness began to slightly fade, and the images were beginning to push past my thoughts and follow behind the fading darkness. I released my clenched fingers around the soft fabric and rubbed my wrist across the drainage seeping from my nostrils, snorting it back in.
Where was I? I felt my body sway a tad, pulling me towards the right with the inertia that was dragging me, along with slight bumps. It smelled familiar. Smelled like partial smoke and gasoline mixed together as the fumes of sunshine, lilac, and decadent honey had filled my nostrils. I blinked slightly, remembering now that I had heard a voice from above me. The familiar velvet voice that I would recognize from anywhere.
Edward.
"No," I said through broken sobs. "No, don't take me to Charlie's. I—I don't know what to tell him."
"Okay," he replied, gently. "Is there somewhere you would like to go that you would feel more comfortable?" He asked, stroking away the new tears that were cascading down my cheeks. "I can take you to Angela's," I quickly shook my head, wiping my nose against the button-down shirt. His breath faltered slightly. "Maybe I can find a way to get in touch with Jacob for you?"
I shook my head once more, leaning further into the cool touch of his hand, almost hearing the ticking of a clock going by that hadn't existed. Small vibrations had filled the air around me and tapping noises that I slightly had felt familiar with but couldn't pinpoint what they were. I rested my eyes, it had felt like more than ten minutes had passed since I had awoken and had laid here, comforting myself into him. Into him?
I looked down, seeing that I had my head laid onto his lap, and my face pressed tightly against this torso where dark marks from tears and sinus drainage were dapped in many places on his button down. I slightly gasped in embarrassment that I had been so vulnerable against him, and that my own human responses that I still had were staining his clothes.
"I'm sorry," I said through my hoarse voice. I slightly coughed, trying to clear my throat. I swallowed a tiny bit, sucking in the pooling saliva that filled my cheeks, but I didn't move.
"What do you possibly have anything to apologize for?" He spoke softly, removing his thumb from the swollen skin from underneath my eyes, but I reached my hand towards it, placing his hand back against my cheek. The coolness of his skin had felt almost relieving, causing my mind to cloud into a haze. He slightly stiffened, but relaxed quickly, and continued to use his thumb to make small light strokes across my cheek.
"I stained your shirt," I slightly mumbled, clearing my throat again. I groaned, fading into a wince as I clamped the palm of my hand against the side of my head, trying to undo the impossibly throbbing that continued.
Why would I have headaches now? Ever since my change, I never had even fallen under a cold, but a headache? I normally only would have these before when I had cried. Cried? I was crying.
"You're apologizing for featuring involuntary responses?" He muffled a chuckle, but his voice still held concern that I hadn't an understanding for where it was directed.
I nodded, nuzzling my nose further into the buttons, trying to inch further into the comforting coolness of his skin.
"Yeah," I responded. "I suppose I am."
I blinked again, realizing my actions towards him had not been called for. I was leaning into him for comfort. I was in a way snuggling into him when it hadn't been unrequited. I inched away from him, feeling shameful for what I was doing after being so cold to him before. I shouldn't force my own discomfort onto him. He didn't deserve it and it wasn't his job or want to take care of me.
My body had felt numb, but heavy all the same. I detected that I must have overdone my night, over consumed my fill of energy and now my body was weighing on me from the aftereffects. It wasn't uncomfortable, rather having felt as if I had finished a Thanksgiving meal with family and enjoyed the rest of my night, but I always was enduring an overload response.
I felt him slightly shift his hand away from my cheek as I pushed myself off of him, taking in my surroundings. I noticed the tan leathered seat that had been overused as the fabric had loosened. I noticed the old radio that had barely worked, and the air conditioning vents that had missing slabs. I looked up, seeing the cloudy front window shielded where the wiper blades squealed loudly as they swayed back and forth. We were in my truck, and I had been laying across the front seats, where my head was laying against him, on his lap. I must have been asleep.
"Oh!" I slightly remembered. I looked around the truck desperately searching for my lost items.
"Bella?" He sounded almost hurt. "What are you looking for?"
"The—the books! I dropped them. I purchased them for the nursing home," I spoke quickly but not fluently through my lips. I sat up fully, looking behind me, and noticing the cloth bag and my purse were laid neatly on the floor mat of the passenger side.
"It's okay, they are all there," he spoke softly again. Relief washed over the velvet serenade of his voice. I sighed heavily, pulling my fingers up into the strands of my hair, and pulling the loose ones behind my ear.
I leaned back, exhaling another breath, looking at the road ahead of me. I pulled my knees up to my chest and felt a slight pressure against my chest, along with the loud click of the seat belt buckle put into place. I looked over at Edward who had his shoulder leaned towards me and his arm extended. He had pulled the seat belt across me, and his eyes still held wonder but worry all the same.
"I don't need a seatbelt," I mumbled, looking up at him, but his eyes didn't falter.
I glanced my eyes over towards the road and back at him, wondering when he would look away, but he hadn't.
"Edward, look at the road!" I croaked, pointing through the fogged windshield. He briefly glanced his eyes away from me and leaned back over to his side as he readjusted his grip on the leather wrapped steering wheel, but he didn't reply. His lips were pressed tightly together.
My mind faltered again to the events that had transpired tonight as I looked at the clock that illuminated on the dashboard of the car. I didn't know when we had left Port Angeles, nor had I remembered leaving the alley behind the buildings. My last memory had been where my face was shielded behind the fabric of Edward's peacoat with his name escaping with relief from my lips.
"Why were you there?" I asked in almost a whisper. I glanced my eyes towards him, laying my chin down on top of my kneecaps.
"I never know," he spoke, but his words slightly faltered into uncertainty. "I never know what's going to happen to you."
I raised my eyebrow at him, shifting my cheek down as I angled my head towards him. His eyes glanced down at me again, but then shifted back to the road.
"I never usually have to wonder what would happen in the future, at least the possible ones," he said. "But with you, entirely with you, I never know."
I pondered what he was saying, but it sounded ridiculous. How would he know what would happen in the future? And why had I always been the exception.
"Alice," he said, recognizing the confusion on my face. "She has a gift for seeing the future. It's selective though," he shook his head with frustration. "And can only see possible outcomes that become more certain as someone makes a decision, so the future can always change." He briefly paused, flashing his eyes back to the road. "But she can't see you, or anything that relates to you."
"Alice can see the future?" I looked at him blankly. "And you can read minds," I confirmed.
He nodded. "Except for yours."
"I don't understand," I replied, holding my head up again. "I don't—" I paused, pulling in the raspiness of my throat as I felt myself almost revisiting more sobs. "I don't understand why any of this exists. I don't understand why I am what I am, or why you exist and can read minds, or why Alice can see the future," I gasped. "Or why a couple of werewolves wanted me dead! Or why I had—" my hand flew to my mouth. Reliving the thoughts again from what had happened tonight.
I had killed two men. Travis and Lonnie in that respective order. Two men died under my hand, but it slightly hadn't bothered me for what I had done to them. It was how. I remembered a small, red dimmed room. I had remembered leather and a bed. I had remembered the smoldering expressions that came across Lonnie's face, along with my own self, possibly enjoying it. A bed was in the room that I had imagined myself forcing him onto, and he felt pleasure from it, even if it was the asphalt of the dark alley. As if he had been seeing the same images that I had formed in my own thoughts. The most pleasurable energy that I had drained before. It was laced with desire, greed, and want. Then a cracked skull that had slid down a brick wall, causing me to wince at the memories.
I blinked again, trying to force the tears back. I looked over at Edward, widening my eyes at the realization. If Lonnie had been able to see the thoughts I had projected, had he—
"You know," I quickly exhaled, tightening my arms around myself. "You— you were there. You saw it all. You saw his—"
"Yes," he nodded, flattening his lips as his eyes glanced at me, and worry crossed his eyebrow. "Are you alright?"
"Am I alright?" I asked in confusion. He was a vampire who prided himself on not drinking from humans. Who lived a lifestyle of only draining the blood from animals so that they could live in peace with others? He had seen two men die and hadn't been concerned that it was me who had killed them. That it was me that had drained them with my own lips. That it was me projecting scenarios into another's thoughts. I had done that, but how? He was asking me if I was alright?
"Bella, you collapsed," his lips turned into a frown. "I wasn't sure what to do, I just knew that you were hurting," he tangled his fingers into his hair as his brow creased further. "If you are upset from killing those two men, please, don't be. They were vile, I had seen their thoughts. Every thought they had for that woman. Every thought for you and their past victims. They were going to do the same to you—or they would have tried." A low growl rumbled in his throat as his fingers had flexed against the steering wheel and a snarl was apparent through his curled lip. "Bella, you protected yourself."
My eyes widened as I could see the blaze forming into his, causing the amber hue to fade into onyx. I gasped silently. He had thought I was upset for killing those men? No, I had come to terms with the fact that I didn't have much of a choice anymore, and if it had to be anyone, I was glad it was them. I saved that girl. I saved others who could've been next.
"I'm not," I spoke. It was his turn to silently gasp with widened eyes. Had I possibly hurt his own understanding? Had he hoped that that was the reason I was upset?
Tears began to involuntarily stream down the corners of my eyes, feeling the bottom of my lip starting to tremble again as I started to uncontrollably sob.
"I'm not upset that I killed them, no… hardly," I spoke, wiping the sleeve of my shirt across my eyes once more. "I meant to," I said softly, peering up at him, looking for his next expression, but he nodded, and stared back onto the road.
He altered his next hand from his hair onto the steering wheel, letting the other rest next to him, with his palm facing open as it inched closer to me. I looked down at it, eyeing his fingertips that slightly moved. Had he held it out with intentions that I would place my own into his? He had seemed stiff, with his shoulders squared and his expression painted tightly onto the road. But I knew possibly what he had meant. He must have noticed that his hand had brought my comfort earlier, and he didn't want to question me any further.
My thoughts began to spiral again, negatively as I glanced at his open palm. Of course, this wasn't for me. He had just seen me kill two men and had been offended that it was a part of my intention as soon as I saw them attack that girl. He had hoped that I was upset over that. He didn't care for any other answer, because anything other than that would have only left him with disgust. I was a murderer, and he knew that now. He had fallen witness to it.
"Edward," I mumbled softly, but his face didn't alter. "I'm sorry," I choked out into another breathy sob that had felt uncontrollable. "I know what it means for your family to kill humans. I know. And I'm sorry that I'm not upset about what I had done to them. I just—"
The truck had swerved over to the side of the road, and I quickly dug my fingers into the handle above me to hold myself steady. He had the truck already put into park, and my seatbelt unbuckled and untethered from around me. My cheek was pressed firmly against something cold before I had been able to register what it was, and fingers that had been pressed lightly against the back of my head, holding my face securely against the cooled chest and another hand wrapped around my waist. He had been holding me, and I now hadn't realized that I was continuously sobbing into the button-down fabric that rested against his chest. My throat quaked with rasping whimpers and tears flowing into the fabric of his shirt. His fingers were stroking softly over my spine with his chin resting on the top of my head.
"Never apologize, Bella," he breathed into my hair. "Not to me."
I nodded, needing him to say no more. I frantically tried to press my cheek further into him to feel whatever relief I could from the coolness of his skin. It didn't make me cold, hardly ever. The cold hadn't bothered me. Not from Forks, not from Alaska, and not from him, but I knew what coolness felt like still. I knew the comforting feeling of it that Edward Cullen had been able to always possess, and I knew that I desperately needed him to keep himself around me. I didn't want to let go; I didn't want him to let go. I just wanted the pain to go away.
His finger trailed up some more against my spine, causing the relaxation to further in my body as I became limp against him, nestling further. No more thoughts were displayed in my mind. No more images or darkness hung over me. Only him.
It seemed like forever as we sat here, but I felt my body move slightly from the seats of the truck until I was lifted off them, and a hand gently cradled underneath me as I was pulled onto his lap. I did not question that I was straddling him in the driver's seat of the truck with my face ravenously pressed against him, and he hadn't protested it, but his hand had left the back of my head as the truck was put back into drive. It started to sway back and forth as he was pulling it back onto the road.
I closed my eyes, again, waiting for wherever the road would take us.
It wasn't long until I had woken again to my truck swaying back and forth against a rocky windy road, causing my forehead to jostle against his as he pressed his hand against my back to further comfort me into him. I was not sure if he knew I was awake, but I knew that he was trying to keep me still on top of him, trying to avoid the road.
The truck loudly backfired as he started slowing to a stop, causing him to wince credulously as his fingers continued to sooth my spine.
"Bella," he breathed.
"Mmm," I hummed, switching my cheek to the other side of his chest, gripping my fingers against the fabric of his button-down.
"We're here," he spoke softly.
"Hmm?" I snorted, lifting my head up quickly from his chest. I looked around, seeing the dimly lit trees, along with the large house that I had found familiar to be his.
I sucked my bottom lip in between my teeth as I looked around, assessing movement in the house from the windows, but hadn't seen any.
"What are we doing at your house?" I asked, quietly, not lifting myself from him.
"You didn't give me a proper location on where to take you, so I thought to take you here," he said. "I can take you somewhere else if you prefer."
I shook my head.
"Crap," I breathed, turning my neck around to look at the dashboard of the truck for the time. It was half past midnight. "No! Charlie is going to flip out! I never called him or came home!"
"Everything is taken care of," he replied, sucking air between his teeth. "Alice called him. She told him that the two of you met up in Port Angeles and went to get something to eat. Afterwards, when the drunks from the local bars came outside, you both decided to leave and head to her place to continue your night out together. You had fallen asleep on the couch. She told him you meant to call him but got distracted."
"When did Alice tell him that?" I blinked at him.
"When you decided that you didn't want to go home. I texted her that I would be taking you here if you are comfortable with that," he swallowed, looking up at me. "Charlie understood, and said to have you call him in the morning when you awoke."
"I should, um," I sighed. If I called Charlie now, he would probably ask questions and ask if I was coming home.
I wiped my hand across my eyes again, wiping away the tears that had caked on the corners of my retinas. I didn't want to go home, not like this to Charlie in case he would decide to wait up for me.
"Thank you," I responded instead, pushing myself off of his lap and onto the middle seat. I looked up at the house again, looking for movement. "Is your family home?"
He nodded, "Only a few. Alice and Jasper are here, and so is Esme," he looked over into the direction that I had been looking in. "Carlisle is still at the hospital, and Rosalie and Emmett are out right now."
"Out?" I asked.
"Hunting," he replied, turning off the ignition of the truck. He looked over at me, with a sympathetic smile and nodded to me towards the house. In a moment before I could blink, he had already hopped out of the truck and had his hand held out to me.
I slightly gasped, looking down at it again, and quickly pushed the surprised thought away. I had just ridden home with him on his lap in my truck, there was no more room for surprise when it came to Edward. I shifted to grab onto my purse and cloth bag and pulled it over onto my shoulder and took his hand, sliding out of the truck.
"Are you comfortable to go inside?" He asked.
I nodded, walking forwards ahead of him towards the front door.
"I've never been inside of a house this big," I responded, slowing down so I could walk next to him so that he could unlock the front door.
"Or in a house full of vampires," he exhaled a muffled laugh, but it diminished quickly as his face filled with worry.
"Or that," I nodded, walking behind him now as he pushed the front door open after we ascended the steps of the front porch. Did they not lock their doors? No, of course not. Why would a family of vampires need to worry about someone breaking in? I'm sure whoever would have decided to do so, would initially have already felt fear from walking into the property in the first place.
The inside was even more surprising, less predictable, than the exterior. It was very open, but the lights had dimmed in the house as only a few lamps had been lit and the night sky had draped against the exterior windows. This must have originally been several rooms, but the walls had been removed from most of the first floor to create one wide space. The back, south-facing wall had been entirely replaced with glass, and beyond the shade of the cedars, the lawn stretched bare to the wide river. A massive curving staircase dominated the west side of the room. The walls, the high beamed ceiling, the wooden floors, and the thick carpets were all varying shades of white.
"Wow," I mouthed, as he took my hand easily without thinking about it. I knew he could feel my tension; his thumb rubbed soothingly into the back of my hand as he pulled me graciously along.
We walked into the kitchen, and Edward had pulled out a stool for me to sit on, which I took and had practically fallen into it in exhaustion. I propped my elbows up on the marble counters and rested my chin inside of my hands.
He turned toward the fridge, opened the doors to it and pulled out a package of turkey and some white American cheese from one of the drawers. I looked puzzled at him, but realized he had been intentionally wanting to feed me, but the thought of food right now had irked me of ill feeling. If I had ever been drunk before, I would expect it to feel like this.
Being in his arms had helped.
"Oh, you don't have to do that," I said, stopping him before he grabbed anymore. "I'm not hungry."
"When was the last time you ate?" He raised his eyebrow at me, holding a jar of mayonnaise in his hand that had already caused me to mentally gag.
"Over an hour ago," I muttered, looking down at my hands, investigating the pink hue of the nail bed, seeing it completely rounded and in pristine condition.
He followed my eyes as I investigated my skin and how much it had turned into a complimentary limestone hue which had been much darker than before from my half feeding. Charlie would wonder if I had some sun.
Edward nodded, and placed the meat and cheese back into the fridge drawer but pulled out a jug of orange juice and turned to the cupboards to pour me a glass of orange juice. He pushed it over to me hesitantly, which I had accepted with a forced smile.
"Edward," I exhaled, looking up at him to refuse the drink.
"Just hold onto it, just in case you feel up for it," he replied gently. I chewed down on the inside of my cheek, wrapping my fingertips around the cool glass.
"So, can you and your family eat or drink, at all?"
He smiled with the slight turn of his head, "It doesn't settle well for us."
"But you have so much food," I pondered as I looked around the kitchen, seeing a bowl of cleaned fruit set near the backsplash of the kitchen counters. "What happens if you are forced to?" I asked with a smug grin as I rotated my finger around the brim of the glass.
"Why don't you finish that," he pointed. "And we can have that conversation for another time when you get some rest."
"I have rested," I argued with a silent yawn as I turned my head to the side. The thought of sleeping more had only made me drowsier. "I think you look at me too much like an ordinary human that needs a good eight hours to function."
"You do have the appearance of one," he chuckled. "Nevertheless, you look exhausted."
"My eyes aren't a dead giveaway?" I offered a sarcastic expression.
"No, very normal," he softly laughed again, but it was drawn out into quietness. "Bella, I won't push you. I will not ask questions that you are uncomfortable with. Not until you are ready, but… that doesn't mean you don't need someone to speak with. We all do."
"Edward… please," I slunched down, wanting him to not speak anymore on the matter, looking down at the contents of the orange juice and looking away from it again.
He looked pointedly at me before crossing around the kitchen island and taking a seat at the stool farthest from me. I had not realized until now how much it had almost pained me to be far from him. How my body had felt so sluggish, so hot and warm under my skin that it craved coolness. Craved his skin to be closer to mine, but I hadn't wanted to admit that to myself. He had hurt me. He had starved me, but I had been at my own faults too.
I looked up at him as he had squared his shoulders, sitting straight up on his stool, continuing to stare at me.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I wasn't sure if you wanted to be left alone or not, so I'm trying to keep distance but also be here for you if you need me to be."
I softly gasped, surprised at his forwardness that I hadn't been able to offer myself. My eyes widened, blinking repeatedly at him, but I looked away as he kept his expression strained onto mine. I didn't want to make another misfortune with him by staring into his amber golden eyes that had looked to almost melt as they continued to stare at me. I chewed harder onto my cheek and lifted the glass of orange juice to the rim of my lips, taking a small sip. I almost moaned at the freshness of it as it cascaded across the ridges of my tongue and down my throat.
I faintly had been able to feel the smile that was forming on the edges of his lips, causing me to pause from gulping down the rest of the contents of the orange juice, and placing the glass down quietly back onto the granite counter.
"Why are you smiling?" I turned my expression towards him.
It did not fade. "I'm just relieved you are consuming something," but now the upturn of his lips had turned into a small frown. "I was worried." He paused, glancing over at the opening of the walls where they led into the living room. "I told you I was afraid of you, Bella. I think I have very much more of a reason to be now than I ever had before."
I continued to stare at him as he contemplated his thoughts, brushing his tongue between his closed lips, and his fingers had clenched into a fist on top of the counter as he leaned sideways against it. His other hand had brushed through the strands of his tousled bronze locks. I hadn't realized the brisk silence of the room as the lights of the kitchen had only illuminated dimly while the rest of the house had only been lit up with several lamps that were placed on top of side decorative tables.
"But" he continued. "I don't think I could fathom anyone hurting you, or you are hurting yourself. I also am not sure that I can help you or be the comfort you need when you are feeling this way," he unwound his fingers from his hair, and unclenched his fist as he looked up at me. "But I will do whatever I can or be whatever you need me to be to keep the pain away, Bella."
"Why?" I exhaled shakenly.
He shook his head, glancing towards the living room again. "I know you must be tired. I have a small couch in my bedroom, but I'm sure it wouldn't be the most comfortable for sleeping. We could pull out some sheets and blankets for the couch if you prefer."
"You're offering me your room?" I asked, quizzically at him. "Where would you sleep?"
He pursed his lips together, hesitating as he looked down towards the ground.
"I don't sleep," a peculiar tone entered his voice.
It took me a minute to absorb that. "At all?"
"Never," he said, his voice nearly inaudible. He looked towards me again with a wistful expression. The amber eyes attached onto my raised eyebrows, and I lost my train of thought. I stared at him until he looked away.
"I'm sorry," I spoke, almost coming from a daze.
"Bella," he looked towards me pointedly, his expression now had faltered into a serious one.
"Oops," I breathed, realizing that he had told me to no longer apologize, at least not to him. "I just mean that I'm sorry for prying too much."
He inhaled a breath of air, and moved away from the stool, taking a few steps away from the counter towards the far wall, stopping nearly a few feet away. He turned his neck towards me again, looking a bit worried and slightly bothered.
"I'll just be gone for a moment," he said, and then he was gone in less than a blink of an eye. He had returned again in the matter of less than thirty seconds with his arm stacked with sheets, two pillows, a thick quilt, and a pair of folded grey sweatpants with a baby blue tank top on top.
"Esme has offered you something to wear to sleep. The tank top is hers along with a pair of undergarments, but the sweatpants might be a little too big for you as they are mine, but they do have a tie on them so that you can adjust the waist to fit."
I nodded, biting down onto my lower lip. "I would hate to be the reason your family is locked away in different rooms of the house."
"I promise you, they aren't bothered," he chuckled, nodding for me to follow him to the living room. "A few of them will be leaving to hunt soon."
I followed behind him, watching as he quickly set up the couch for me to sleep on it. He wrapped the fitted sheet around it and placed the two pillows down on top of the folded quilt.
I took the sweatpants and tank top from him. "Could you tell Esme thank you for me?"
"She already knows," he smiled. "We have a bathroom on this floor if you would prefer to change in there. It has a connected bath, as well as a stocked caddy."
"Thank you," I said, turning towards the direction his arm was lifted. I followed through the open room till there had been a smaller hallway attached near the staircase where a door had been. I opened it, seeing marbled tile flooring where to the left had his and her sinks, and farther towards the back, there had been a private toilet area and a long clawfoot standing tub slanted sideways in the corner. The walls were of gray paint and the towels were a dark royal blue hanging above the tub on golden handled towel racks.
I sighed, stepping further into the bathroom, keeping my eyes away from the mirror as I placed the lounge ware onto the marbled counter. I knew that I must have been covered in filth, and in normal circumstances, I would have been running to use the bathtub to clean off, but he was right. I was exhausted. I collapsed my hands against the counter, heaving in a heavy breath and keeping my ears open to listen for any movement. I could hear Edward's shoes tapping away into the kitchen as he grabbed the left-over glass of juice and cleaning it in the sink. I also heard running water from the fridge pouring into a new glass that he had pulled out of a cupboard. Upstairs I could hear muttering that I had not been able to fully decipher, but I knew it was two voices that were speaking much too low. I also was able to hear the slight rummage of dresser drawers being pushed in after a pair of clothes or towels were pulled out of them. That must have been Esme because the steps were alone in a separate room. I felt like an outsider, a stranger in a home that I never thought I would enter.
I quickly changed out of my dirty clothes that had already been stained with the standing water from the alleyway, along with dirt and grime that I hadn't cared for an explanation for. My khakis had splashes of blood, filling me with flashes of Lonnie's skull cracked open against the brick wall, causing me to wince. I picked up the nearby hand towel and ran it under the tap water of the sink, dampening it so that I could scrub it across my neck and face and arms. Dirt caked up on the fibers of it, causing me to feel ill for how dirty I must have been, but I could not decide to get into the bath tonight. I most likely would have fallen asleep in it if I decided.
I pulled on the sweatpants, seeing that they were entirely too long and wide for my waist, and tightened them with the ties, forming a small loop into a bow. Esme's offered undergarments were of a lace green, but I skipped on the offering. Her soft blue tank top had molded tightly around my bodice. I sighed, looking down at myself. I splashed more water on my face from the sink, and towel dried myself. I neatly folded my dirty clothes, placed them on the marbled counter and exited myself from the bathroom.
Edward had been sitting in the adjacent loveseat and had already dressed into a new pair of slacks, but he hadn't changed his shirt. Peculiar. He looked up at me, assessing my appearance, but pain and haunting only featured in his expression. The locks of his hair were even more disheveled from the last time I had seen him only a few moments ago.
I tightened my arms around, hugging myself as I walked further into the living room, and turned to sit onto the covered couch cushions. I leaned over, grabbing onto the quilt and wrapped it around myself as I pressed it close to my face, inhaling the scent of it discreetly.
"Thank you, again." I said, peeking up at him. He smiled a slight grin and stood up. "Where are you going?" I asked.
"Upstairs, just to give you some privacy. We have entrances and exits from our windows so no one will bother you. Though," he grumbled, his eyes tightening. "I can't promise my sister will comply."
"Alice?" Edward nodded. "I like her," I replied." His eyebrow raised as if he had been confused by my choice of words. "I don't know. She just seems nice."
Alice had been the one to seem to want to speak to me as I remembered her spare glances towards me at school during the time that they all had ignored me.
"Hmm," he nodded as he exited the room in ponder.
I returned the same, laying my head down on the pillow and pulling the quilt up to my neck, wrapping my arms around my legs, and pulling them to my chest. I closed my eyes and escaped the rest of the night away into a longing sleep.
I woke up in complete slack as the sunshine was shining through my eyelids causing a rosy glare that had ultimately ended my slumber. I must have left my curtains open last night, or the window open without closing it, it was much too bright. I rolled over onto my stomach, burying my face into the pillow, grumbling for my dad to shut the curtains in my room for me to get more rest. I wasn't ready to wake up, not yet. I had slept in bliss and serendipity, but it wasn't until I had taken a heavy whiff of the pillow underneath me. It had a scent to it, nothing off, just the fact that it was unfamiliar to me. It was not my pillow.
I opened my eyes quickly, sitting up on the couch as I turned my neck to look around the large open white room that I was in, sleeping on top of a couch that I hadn't remembered taking my rest. Where was I? Blinking, remembering the flashbacks of last night, remembering Edward, remembering the drive home, remembering a glass of orange juice and marbled tiles.
I rubbed the palm of my hands over my eyes, pulling the quilt up around my shoulders, sitting up on the couch. There were small movements on the second floor, but no voices were breaking through. I was in the Cullen home, and three vampires were present on the second floor of the home while I sat alone down here on the couch feeling a tad uncomfortable. Why had I decided to stay here? Why didn't I just go home? It wasn't like me to push my comfort onto other people, nor intrude into other's homes for the sake of myself. A winding churn stood in my stomach, causing me to feel vast with guilt and shame.
Realization had hit me again from the night before. Edward knew what I was. He had to know now. He saw what I had done. Should I leave here without speaking a word and head home, or should I be polite and thank them for letting me stay here last night?
"Edward?" I called out.
Instantly, there was a loud rumble from upstairs as I heard yelling from two parties joining in unison. From the top of where I could see the spiral staircase, Edward had started making his way down, arguing with someone that I guessed was Alice by the musical voice that I previously recognized.
When I saw him making his way halfway down backwards, his arms were extended in front of him, pushing Alice back up towards the top of the staircase as she continued to yell at him, elbowing him frequently. If it were not for the fast movements of their attacks on each other, it would make them seem like a pair of normal siblings fighting in a family. When Edward had tried to make his escape down the stairs again after pushing her back up, she had flown down onto his back, wrapping her arms around his neck with a villainous laugh. Edward's face held annoyance as he continued to tell her no.
"No fair! Let me see her!" She shrieked at him.
"She didn't ask for you!" Edward growled, trying to pry her arms from around his neck.
Alice paused, still wrapped tightly around him with her fingers pressed tightly into the side of his cheekbone, pulling the ends of his mouth, and exposing the side of his teeth. Her face had seemed slightly defeated as she turned her face towards me from the staircase. Her golden eyes rounded, partially in comparison to a kitten as her bottom lip jutted out into a small pout.
"Can I come down here, too?" She asked with a small voice. "Edward is being a pain!"
"Because she didn't ask for you, like I said."
"It's not fair that you're hogging her!" Her sweet innocent face left as she whacked the back of his head, untangling one of her arms from his neck.
I was dumbfounded with shock as I watched the both where their arms were moving at such fast speeds around one another. I blinked a few times, and shook my head bringing myself back into the reality of the supernatural where antics like this were normal now. A slight smirk appeared across my lips as I found myself giggling at the two of them. I moved my hand across the top of my hair, smoothing it nervously.
"It's fine," I replied. "Nice to see you again."
"See?" Alice wore a smug grin.
Edward grumbled at her, turning his head in her direction as he flashed his teeth through his parted lips into a snarl.
"You didn't see anything, actually," he replied. The bridge of Alice's nose scrunched as she thunked him again on the back of his skull with her finger. I winced at the high pitch pang of the sound that rattled my ears at the blow.
Edward quickly pulled Alice off him, where she landed gracefully on the bottom step of the spiral staircase. She ran her hands over her silk camisole, trying to tidy it. Edward looked over at me as he descended the staircase at the normal pace of a human as a small half smile stretched on the side of his face.
"You slept longer than you normally do. I was becoming so impatient that I almost decided to just wake you up!" Alice said with aggravation, folding her arms across her chest as she walked over towards the love seat adjacent to where I was, sitting down into it.
"Alice!" I could hear Esme scolding her from upstairs like a mother would do to her own children. It was a strange dynamic, knowing that none of them had actually been related, but the idea that possibly real familial bonds had formed between the seven of them. Edward decided to take his place against the wall of the living room near the large entertainment center as he kicked one of his feet against the back of it, leaning with his arms crossed.
"What time is it?" I spoke, breaking the silence of the room.
"It's almost nine-thirty," he spoke. "Alice already called Charlie for you. He wanted her to let you know that he would be fishing with Harry today," Edward said, nodding his head as he glanced over at Alice who had her hands clasped together as a bright smile spread further across her face as she continued to assess my appearance.
I had not thought of Harry in a while, but I remembered from our last interaction, that his energy had been slightly different. Not in the case of difference that the Cullens or the wolves had, but something that seemed ill-like. Mostly off. I shooed away the thought and decided to ask Charlie about it in the future.
"I wish you had woken me up," I sighed, looking down at one of the pillows that must have landed off the couch during my erratic sleep patterns. Esme began descending the stairs, her hand gliding over the railing as she offered me a kind smile. I looked up at her, offering the same one, feeling slightly indecent that I hadn't thanked her properly for purchasing my groceries for me when I had run into her in the grocery store. Or ran away from her.
"Oh, and thank you for opening your home to me," I said softly in hopes to sound polite, looking up at her again to see if she had heard me. Esme's eyes widened as she had taken in the natural appearance of my un-covered eyes, but her expression then dissolved into a warm smile. "And for the clothes. Your home really is lovely, but I think I should be going now."
"Please, sweetie. Do not feel that any of us are forcing you out. It was our pleasure to have you here as our guest," she grinned as she walked into the bright room, holding her hands together in front of her. "Can I offer you something for breakfast?"
I shook my head as I pulled the quilt off from my shoulders onto my lap, looking for the corners of it to begin folding it.
"No, but thank you, though," I blushed.
Esme nodded, "If I may, I want to apologize for frightening you the other day," she spoke slowly, trying to hold compassion and grief in her tone. "I wish I had been able to speak to you that day, but I believe I understand now what you were going through. I really hope my gesture of buying your groceries hadn't offended you."
I shook my head, "No not at all, thank you." I knew that I had felt a pinch of guilt at someone spending their money on me, but in all, I felt relief by that jar of peanut butter that afternoon.
She looked over at Edward very briefly, but I hadn't been able to follow her eyes to see Edward's reaction. A soft smile appeared on her face.
"Please, no need for my thanks. That was my fault, well…" she paused, pondering her next words. "Our fault, really. I am very sorry for our actions towards you, and I hope we can get to speak more with each other in the future." She held her small white hand out towards me. I glanced down, assessing it for a moment, before taking it. She shook my own, very delicately as if she was holding a feather. "It's very nice to know you," she said sincerely.
"Thank you. I'm glad to meet you, too." And I was. It was like meeting a fairy tale Snow white in the flesh. Our hands broke from each other, and she refolded them in front of herself.
"If you find yourself needing somewhere to stay— ever, we will always welcome you. I'm very glad you came." She spoke with feeling, and I realized that she must have felt pity, but looked at me with possible bravery to have come.
I nodded, offering another smile to her. She glanced away, seeing the un-finished glass of water on the side table next to the couch and picked it up delicately as she walked away to the kitchen.
I breathed out a heavy sigh, finishing the folding of the quilt, and placed it next to me on the couch, proceeding to stack the two pillows on top of it.
I peeked up at Alice, noticing she had been sitting still as a statue in the loveseat, clasping her hands closed. I glanced my eyes back and forth between the two of them, feeling the blush scorching across my cheeks. I wasn't sure what to say with the both of them in the room, and I could feel the slight tension coming from me. She followed my glance with her eyes, where an 'o' appeared across her lips.
"I'm going to give Jasper a call," she nodded at the both of us, standing up and then gliding into the kitchen after Esme.
A few seconds ticked by while I stared down at my handy work, trying to avert my eyes into another direction. His breathing had stilled from the room as he looked over towards the kitchen area as his lips tightened together and his eyes faltered as they narrowed, but quickly the glare had diminished as a small smile peaked through the ends of his lips where his eyes softened.
"Um," I ticked the roof of my mouth with my tongue.
"Esme washed your clothes," he glanced over towards a small table against one of the walls in the room where a stack of my folded khakis and blouse were. "She wasn't sure if you would want them when you awoke."
"Oh," I replied. "That was nice of her."
A brief chuckle escaped his lips as he nodded. Another brief pause between the two of us continued as I continued my seating on the couch and his leaning against the wall.
"Would you—"
"I should—"
We both spoke at the same time, staring at one another as we both paused, waiting for each other to finish what they were going to say.
Edward chuckled, nodding his head towards me.
"You were saying?"
"I was thinking that I should go home," I said, rubbing my thumb across my bottom lip, nervously. "I really appreciate you offering me to stay here last night, but I think I'm overdue."
He tightened his lips, glancing outside, exhaling a shallow sigh.
"If you wish to," he said. "Though, I hoped you would take a walk with me before you go."
"A walk?"
He nodded.
"Sure," I said, ultimately contemplating my decision.
I didn't spare returning in my own clothes as the sweatpants and tank top had felt comfortable enough to wear outside in the woods. Edward had offered me a jacket anyways which I shyly took from him pulling it over myself and walked out of the doors with him. He stayed quiet with his head down and his hands pushed into his pockets as we ventured further into the forest together. I wanted to speak up to break the silence between us, but I wasn't sure what to say first, or if he wanted to be the one to speak up. It was possible that the dilemma was happening in both of our minds.
"How are you?" He asked in a whisper.
"I'm fine," I said, biting down onto my bottom lip as I looked through the trees, placing my glance on each individual leaf and the petioles that make up the blades. I washed and listened as the birds whistled songs as they perched on smaller limbs and glanced away towards other areas where spider webs held dew drops.
I glanced my eyes back towards him, seeing his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. His eyebrows pushed into frustration.
"What?" I asked blankly, stopping my pace.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked.
I slumped my shoulders, exhaling a breath of air. That's right. He relies on being able to read minds to hold a conversation with someone, so that he knows what to say, or the right words to speak. It must had been frustrating for him to not know what was going through my mind within the silence.
"I suppose I was too tired last night to fully assess the situation before, but now I am realizing I was in a house of four vampires," I replied. "So, I guess I'm feeling a little unhinged."
"No one wants to hurt you," he stopped. "Or ever intends to do as such. Never again."
I hitched my breath at his words. Remember the way he spoke last night. His words that had surprised me with such forwardness, and now these words he spoke now.
"I don't know if I can trust your word," I replied.
"That's understandable," he nodded, trying to offer a friendly grin to ease the tension.
"Did you tell them?" I asked.
He shook his head, looking away from me.
"Are you going to?"
He shook his head again. "Not unless you want me to or prefer doing it yourself."
I looked at him quizzically, raising my eyebrow. "I get the hint that you figured it out," I huffed, turning around as I looked behind us, seeing his house in the distance.
"I have," he spoke in a sigh. I looked back at him, searching for an expression that would cause me to question his thoughts about it. "I suppose I feel a little daft for not figuring it out sooner, but as you said before," he glanced his at me, forming the same half smile that I found myself preferring. "Stereotypes."
"Expected horns and a tail?" I let out a nervous chuckle.
"Did you expect fangs and bats?"
"It hadn't crossed my mind, actually," I laughed. "Was a little too busy keeping the wolves off my tail." I felt the coldness drift over my skin as goosebumps glossed over from the uncomfortable conversation. I felt at ease with him near but wasn't sure how to proceed forward or what topics would be needed or not. I saw the toe of his shoe graze over a branch on the ground, pushing it around back and forth. He must have also been in the same timid state that I was in, but not from each other.
"What made it so difficult to figure it out for you?"
He glanced up at me again. "My kind has not always been alone in the sense of myths and legends. As you saw, there are shapeshifters, and there are also werewolves. Shapeshifters are of what the Quileute descendants are. They can willingly shift into their wolf forms, though they could have chosen any other animal to shift into, but their ancestors had chosen the wolf. But actual werewolves, also called the Children of the Moon, only change on a full moon. They are said to be much more volatile and irritating if you can believe it." he chuckled. "But otherwise, every other being was thought to be truly a myth. There were no texts of your kind being in existence."
"Tanya," I spoke up. His face altered in question as his eyebrow raised. "The woman in Alaska. You called her a succubus."
He nodded, flattening his lips into a smile. "Tanya is of my kind, yes, but we call her and her sisters that in more of a joking manner. You see, the three of them are without mates of their own, so they travel to find human men and succumb them into intercourse. Not that it is hard for them to do so because our kind naturally has a predator advantage of using our scent, voice, and appearance of attracting our prey," he sighed. "So, it was purely an analogy."
"Oh," I nodded, fiddling my thumbs together, looking away from him in shyness. That must be what he thought last night when he had figured it out, seeing the images in my mind that I had forced onto Lonnie. Seeing the sexual images of me forcing Lonnie onto the illusion of a bed in a dark red room. The wardrobe that I had surprised myself with by imagining myself in. Those thoughts had never come into my mind before. I never thought of ever wanting to wear lingerie or dominatrix outfits before, but maybe it was possible that Lonnie had distorted my own image as well into his mind, projecting an image that he wanted me to see while I forced the illusion in his.
"I don't," I said. "I don't do that."
"Hmm?"
"Stereotypes," I confirmed. "It's just another one of those that aren't particularly true."
But was it not just a stereotype? Vilinsea had told me that we did not need to participate in sexual intercourse to consume the energy we needed from others, but some did participate in that action. She too would do the same from time to time if she felt the need for something more, but she never explained what something more had meant, but after last night, I was sure of now what those words had pertained to. Lonnie's energy was far more satisfactory than others I had consumed. I had felt almost dazed from it, possibly the closest to being high or drunk than I had ever gotten close to feeling. It was intense to say the least. The sexual arousal coming from his lips that had coiled around his energy and into me. There weren't proper words to describe it, but I shunned my thoughts away from what it would have tasted if I had completed the action.
"We don't need to perform that action if we don't want to," I reiterated. "We can if we prefer because I suppose it heightens the satisfaction, but no. I don't participate in that."
I could see his eyebrows tightening together, contemplating thoughts in his mind. I wonder if he had not expected that answer from me. Did he believe I was going around sleeping with strangers to fulfil my needs?
"The stereotype when it came to you hadn't come to mind," he replied slowly.
"Ah," I nodded, walking forward, digging the soles of my feet into the dirt as I continued staring at his features the further that I got away from him. "I'm not sixteen, well, physically I am. But I'm not. In actuality, I would be eighteen towards the end of the year, so the idea of me participating in that kind of stuff shouldn't be so out of reach for me."
He looked strangely at me for a moment, looking surprised as if he hadn't heard me correctly, or that my words had shocked him in the slightest. I'm not a child. I know what sex is and I know that it can be pleasurable for both parties to act in those cases, I just didn't do that because of what I had been through, but after last night, after what I had drained from Lonnie, it was possible that I would have used that new revelation about myself.
"I know," he replied. "I didn't mean to offend you when I had said that. I just," he paused looking at me, trying to tell me something that I didn't quite understand right away, but then I did. He had meant that he had saw my own struggles before. Only glimpses and images and had put that forward onto me. Saw my reaction that night when I had made eye contact with him. Heard my cries. He must have put the puzzle pieces together that I wouldn't want to participate in those actions. That I wasn't ready. That I wasn't past my own demons. He knew.
"It's not a big deal," I shrugged, trying to brush it off. It wasn't a conversation I was ready to have. Not with him. "What happened last night?" I asked. "I don't remember anything that had happened after the events, but I know what I had done," I paused, sucking my bottom lip between my teeth. "What had come from the bodies that had been left behind?"
Edward walked slowly past me as I kept slowly drifting forward, he had found a tree near by to lean against to as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"Emmett and Rosalie weren't hunting last night," he said slowly, looking at me for my reaction. "I lied to give you some air on the subject, but I had called them. I didn't want to leave you alone in the truck to attend to the aftermath."
"You called them?" I looked at him with shock, but irritation and betrayal had drilled through me. "How could you call them? You said you didn't tell them anything!"
"I didn't," he paused. "At least not the way that you think I had. I didn't tell them how they had died, but they had been skeptical when they assessed the man named Travis. But no, I didn't tell them what I had come in conclusion about what you were or how the event had taken place. I told them about the young girl that the scoundrels crowded. I told them I had saw their intentions, and their intentions towards you," he looked up at me where pain had seemed to gloss over his eyes. His voice had formed an octave lower than normal. "They didn't ask any questions further about it."
"But there was so much blood," I said. "I'm sorry to offend you, but you and your family are vampires."
"Yes," he sucked in a breath through his teeth. "It had become cold and compromised by the time they had gotten there to clean the mess. It was no longer appetizing to our kind, well at least not close to being in any way tempting to ones that had already fed. There were arguments of whether the damned deserved to be buried or eaten by the forest floor, but ultimately, it would run to much risk to leave them out there exposed where passersby could stumble across the bodies. So, the decision to burry them deep into the woods outside of Port Angeles was made."
"Just like that? Problem solved?"
"Mm, well there won't be any wolves sniffing around the area to figure it out," he looked pointedly at me. He held his hand up before I could respond and argue that it wasn't me. "I already had known it was you that had killed the hiker the moment that I had found out, Bella. I chased you that day out in the woods during biology period. I knew it was you that I was chasing after. And when the body was discovered only a mile away from the last place that I had been able to scent you, it wasn't difficult to assess the situation."
"I thought you would be mad at me for killing the hiker," I softly spoke, "I know that you and your family value human life."
"Was I a little thrown when I had figured it out?" he raised his eyebrow. "Yes. But I wasn't upset with you. None of my kind are perfect, Bella. You are young and it's a reasonable conclusion for you to make mistakes."
I scoffed loudly, "Are you saying that me being young and naïve are the causes of me committing murder?"
"No, that's," he tripped over his tongue, running his fingers through his hair as he gripped tightly onto the disheveled locks. "That's not what I had meant. I am speaking from my own kind's experiences. For newborn vampires specifically. We tend to be at our most uncontrollable state our first year. Blood lust takes over violently. Blood is the only thought on a newborns mind, and almost nothing else besides their driven instincts to act on it."
"I'm not a vampire," I hissed at him, throwing my arms in the air. "It's not the same, and you shouldn't be using that as an excuse for what I do."
"No, you are not a vampire," he confirmed my response. "But from what I had figured and assessed, it seems relatively close to the same reaction, except for the fact that you are able to continue human relations. A newborn would not be able to process empathy enough to control their blood lust. And from what I had read previously on your kind, you do not have the same options that we do. So no, I am not upset with you for doing what you have to do to survive."
And again, I stared blankly at him. My lips parted as my jaw slacked while I tried to process his response. From the moment I had learned about what he is, and learned of his diet, I had been subconsciously terrified of the reaction him and his family would have about the murders I committed. Knowing that they had found a way to not hurt humans, I had convinced myself that they would not approve of my actions. That they would come after me the same that the wolves had. That I would have to go on the run and leave Charlie and Renee behind. That I would somehow need to plan my own death so that they wouldn't search for me while I stayed on the run from the Cullens and the wolves. But no, my worries had been minimal. Edward understood.
"What would your family think?" I asked.
"My family took part in persuading the wolves to include you with us in the treaty for a reason, Bella. None of us want to harm you, nor want any harm to come to you. We had agreed for your part of the treaty to only take place within Forks and La Push territory because we were skeptical that you had no other options to feed. No one is blaming you, Bella, and no one is judging you. I'm sure they have questions they would like to ask to understand better, but no one is placing blame onto you. It was a unanimous decision for you to be included."
I huffed out a breath from my lungs, taking in the information. He sounded sincere that he had meant his words. He had even seen what I had done up close and hadn't brought harm to me. No, instead he had drove me, allowed me to seek comfort with him, had clean up my own made mess, and offered his home to me. It was more than I had expected from him. More than I had expected from anyone that would have known what I do, but maybe he did understand. Maybe he had his own demons and that is how he has form sympathetic towards me. None of my kind are perfect, Bella…Never apologize, Bella. Not to me.
"What have you done?" I asked. "You said that your kind isn't perfect. What do you mean?"
He sighed, releasing the grip he had in his hair, and repositioned his crossed arms against his chest.
"Not many members of my family have a perfect reputation when it comes to not harming a human. That is only Carlisle. And as the rest of the seven of our family, Esme, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and I have had our taste of human blood." He hesitated slightly, looking up at me with eyes that he had been holding back information.
"The seven of you," I said, my voice blanking in confusion as I confirmed what he had said. "But you only listed six of your family members. What about Rosalie?"
He nodded, looking away briefly as his eyes slightly winced. He paused briefly as it seemed he was trying to calm himself at the thoughts that were racing through his mind.
"When we had found Rosalie, she was in a position that was more unique than the rest of our family," he spoke with tension in his voice. His teeth had been grinded together, and I could almost hear his molars gliding across each other as his jaw rotated. "I spoke to you last night about you needing to find someone you are able to talk with about your own experiences. I would hope that you can confide in me, but if you were to take a more suitable choice, I would suggest my sister."
"Why's that?" I asked.
"That's not my story to disclose with you, I'm afraid," he spoke. "But I do hope that one day you could find yourself being able to partake in the suggestion."
I nodded, understanding what he had meant. Rosalie must have had a similar experience to mine. I took in thought of the idea, but I wasn't sure if I was ready yet.
"Edward?" I asked, looking down towards the pant of his leg, seeing a rectangular object in it that I would presume was a phone. "What time is it?"
He looked questionably at me, uncrossing his arms as he pushed his hand into his pocket, pulling out the silver phone from his pocket, clicking lightly onto the front button.
"It's getting close to ten-thirty," he replied. His eyes had glanced over the screen of the phone again as he then flattened his lips with a nod. "I overheard you have plans today with Angela."
"Overheard? Or eavesdropped?" I cocked my eyebrow at him as a smirk stretched on my lips.
"Both," he replied with a crooked grinned.
"Most people would consider that rude, you know," I rolled my eyes.
"Well, then I apologize," he chuckled.
A/N
This chapter has been updated towards the middle to end after Bella and Edward go on a walk together. I hope you guys had a chance to read the updated version.
I hope to see at least 10 reviews on this chapter before I update again. Thank you all so much for all the reviews I have received so far! I really love your feedback on my chapters … and I adore the kind words! And… until next time!(: