Net Knots Chapter 18, a supernatural fanfic

Disclaimer etc, see Chapter 1

NET KNOTS

Chapter 18

Again completing the basics (that he made up as he went along), Dean clicked for the next page and a large banner came up on the screen:

IF YOUR HOUSE IS NOT A NEW CONSTRUCTION built within the last five years, HAS YOUR HOUSE/PROPERTY BEEN GIVEN A STRUCTURAL SURVEY WITHIN THE LAST FIVE YEARS FROM TODAY'S DATE?

YES

Dean chose NO and the page gave a loud 'ping' dissolving into the familiar yellow screen with those large black 'pay attention' letters.

YOUR ENQUIRY HAS BEEN SUSPENDED AT THIS POINT

YOUR ENQUIRY HAS BEEN SAVED TO OUR SYSTEM

YOU HAVE NOT BEEN CHARGED ANY MONEY AT THIS POINT

PLEASE HAVE A STRUCTURAL SURVEY DONE ON YOUR PROPERTY. YOU SHOULD CHECK FOR:

Subsidence (e.g., caused by old mine-workings, underground streams)

Dry rot

Rising Damp

Mildew/spores

Termite infestation

Ant infestation

Insect infestation, (e.g., wasp's nest in the attic)

Vermin infestation (e.g., rodents, snakes, bats or pigeons nesting)

Old wiring

Old plumbing

Water damage/seepage, leaking or collapsed pipes

Warped and/or rotted wooden joists, window sills, door jambs, etc

Many things you experience such as flickering lights and scratching behind walls are indicators of malevolent supernatural attack, however, much as we are happy to take your money, it would be unethical of us not to point out that these are also indicators of mice nibbling through your house wiring etc. If your structural survey reveals widespread rising damp, you need a builder, not a demon hunter.

PLEASE CLICK ON THE "SAVE" BUTTON BELOW AND MAKE A NOTE OF THE REFERENCE NUMBER YOU ARE GIVEN.

IF, ONCE YOU HAVE HAD THE SURVEY DONE, YOUR PROBLEM PERSISTS AND IS NOT APPARENTLY PHYSICAL IN NATURE RETURN TO THE HOME PAGE AND TYPE IN YOUR REFERENCE NUMBER. YOU WILL BE DIRECTED TO THE BANNER QUESTION AND YOU SHOULD CHOOSE 'YES'.

WARNING!

IF, AFTER RECEIVING YOUR ENQUIRY FORM WE DECIDE TO AGREE TO HOLD A CONSULTATION MEETING WITH YOU ABOUT YOUR PROBLEM, THE CHARGE IS $250 U.S.

WE DO NOT HOLD MORE THAN ONE CONSULTATION MEETING PER INDIVIDUAL CASE

THIS IS A FLAT-RATE FEE APPLICABLE THROUGHOUT THE CONTINTENTAL UNITED STATES

NON-REFUNDABLE

NON-NEGOTIABLE

NO DISCOUNTS

NO EXCEPTIONS

TO BE PAID IN FULL IN ADVANCE BY DEBIT OR CREDIT CARD ONLY

YOU MUST BRING WITH YOU ALL INSTRUCTED DOCUMENTS, INCLUDING THE COMPLETED STRUCTURAL SURVEY FOR YOUR PROPERTY.

IF YOU ATTEND THE CONSULTATION MEETING WITHOUT THE STRUCTURAL SURVEY, THE CONSULTATION MEETING WILL BE DEEMED VOID AND TERMINATED AND WE WILL RETAIN IN FULL THE $250 FEE.

IF WE AGREE A DATE TO CONSULT WITH YOU AND DURING THE INTERIM YOU LEARN NEW INFORMATION THAT NEGATES THE POSSIBILITY OF PARANORMAL OR SUPERNATURAL ACTIVITY, YOU MUST INFORM US IMMEDIATELY.

IN THIS INSTANCE WE RETAIN $100 EXPENSES AND ADMINISTRATION FEE AND WILL REFUND YOU $150.

IF YOU FAIL TO ATTEND A CONSULTATION MEETING AT THE AGREED TIME AND DATE WE WILL RETAIN $100 EXPENSES AND ADMINISTRATION FEE AND WILL REFUND YOU $150.

IT IS UP TO YOU TO RE-CONTACT US TO REARRANGE THIS CONSULTATION, AND WE ARE UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO AGREE TO THIS.

Dean was aware of Sam watching him carefully and he knew why. Could Cassie Robinson or poor Deputy Sheriff Haduk have afforded to just shell out $250?

But he also knew why Sam had done it. Fifty dollars would work on a bored frat boy or college jock, but it wouldn't deter the seriously stupid or hardcore pests fuelled by misguided sanctimony who could afford the sum or more likely charge part or all of it to their organisation's expense account.

But Sam still had that look of constipated anxiety that warned Dean something he wasn't going to like was still lurking with a brickbat. Then he spotted the words right at the bottom of the screen:

NOTICE! IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ BELOW VERY CAREFULLY!

Continued in Chapter 19…