Various exclamations sounded around the room, from 'what' to 'excuse me' were chorused by all four occupants of the room. Diana – who was still studying the picture – looked up, and saw them looking at her expectantly.
"Yeah, a couple of weeks ago…." She trailed off. "It was your birthday actually, I was on the phone with Eddie, and saw her talking to Sam."
"Are you sure it's her?" Barba asked eagerly. This could just be the break they need.
"Pretty sure, but Sam was the one talking to her. He's downstairs with my Mom, if you wanna double check."
"Yeah, that would be great," Fin affirmed, and she nodded, turning her attention back to Savina.
"I will see you Friday, and Dr. Thompson said that hopefully by then you'll be good enough to catch up on some school work, so if he does, you'll have about two weeks' worth of crap to go through!" she quipped, and Savina wasn't sure if she should be groaning or laughing!
"What did the board say?" Savina wondered.
"They're still in the meeting," she replied, then noticing the apprehensive look on Savina's face, she added. "Don't worry, I don't think my dad will let them kick you out."
Savina opened her mouth to argue, when Barba cut in. "Savina, I told you not to worry about this. We'll handle it."
"I'm with him on this. Stop worrying about things, and just focus on staying within the land of the living. Accept help for a change!" Diana teased, smiling cheekily at Savina's glare, before she followed Fin out of the room to go talk to Sam.
Savina threw her head back into the pillow, a half-frustrated sigh escaping her. "She's like a dog with a bone!"
"She's looking out for you," Olivia pointed out softly.
Savina sighed. "I know, but she's already done so much, and I don't want her to think I'm just using her for my own personal gain," she retorted in frustration.
"I don't think she looks at it that way at all. She really cares about you," Olivia shot back gently, her hand once more cupping Savina's cheek gently, the pad of her thumb gently caressing it. She was glad when Savina didn't shy away or stiffen at the gesture, she saw the defenses go up slightly in her eyes, her expression suddenly changing from frustrated to guarded, but she didn't pull away. And to Olivia….that was progress.
Just then, Barba's phone buzzed and both women turned their attention back to him. He quickly read over the text, and Olivia saw his eyes light up for the first time since that cheerful Saturday morning. Except maybe the slight glimpse of happiness she saw in his eyes when she agreed to move in with him.
"Fin says Sam identified her, said she came up and asked about scholarships; if they had any, the rules, and stuff like that," he spoke quickly, the relief evident in his voice. "She didn't mention Savina by name, but he said she was close enough to hear Diana's conversation with Eddie, so she must've heard her name a bunch of times."
"Is that enough for a warrant?" Olivia asked hopefully.
Barba finally looked up from his phone, and saw two identical sets of hopeful looks. Strangely enough, more so in Olivia's than Savina's. He moved closer to the bed, knowing that his next words were not what either of them wanted to hear. And as much as he hated saying them, he had to look at the big picture. He may not like Dodds very much, but he was right. This case had to be done by the book, to the letter.
"The entire Manhattan Judicial System is on our side, if I put a warrant in front of any judge, he will sign it without blinking an eye," he started, his voice thick with both pain and sincerity alike.
"But it can be easily challenged in court, and all the evidence will be thrown out!" Olivia finished for him, and he nodded regretfully at her.
"So she'll get away with this?" Savina whispered brokenly.
"Over my dead body!" Barba growled darkly, as he bent down to catch Savina's gaze, which had fallen to her lap. "The only reason I don't want to issue a warrant based on circumstantial evidence is to make sure she doesn't get away with this. We need to do this right. I'm not going to give the defense any chance to argue prejudice on our side, and get anything thrown out," he assured her, his voice strong, and his resolve to get Freed evident. "I will get her, I promise."
Savina's eyes moved between his for a few seconds, searching for lies, deceit, a hidden agenda, ulterior motives…..anything to prove that they couldn't possibly be doing this for her sake, anything to justify the voice in the back of her head that kept telling her not to fall for false promises. But to her pleasant surprise, she found none. She saw sincerity, stubbornness, a need to protect, dead-fast conviction to get the woman responsible. She saw warmth, love, compassion, and a silent promise. She saw all the things she had longed dreamed of, but could never bring herself to believe will ever have.
Despite all the small voices inside her that screamed at her, she found hope blossoming in her chest, and she slowly nodded. He nodded, smiling softly when he saw the belief in her eyes. She swallowed heavily, and ran a hand through her hair.
"Then what are we going to do? I didn't see her face, I can't pick her out of a line up!" she pointed out.
"There's still one lead left, Rollins is chasing it down. If it pays off, it'll be all the evidence we need."
"What lead?" Olivia wondered.
He looked at her incredulously. "Nice try!" he shot back disapprovingly.
Olivia opened her mouth to retort, when a soft knock stopped her. Barba turned away from them, and pulled the door open.
"Eddie," he exclaimed happily, smiling genuinely at the sight of his childhood friend.
"Hermano," Eddie greeted fondly, as he stepped into the room. He smiled politely at Olivia. "Lieutenant."
Olivia smiled back at him. "Please, Eddie, Olivia," she corrected gently, and he smiled at her, before bending down to press a kiss to the top of Savina's head. "Hola, Cariño."
"Hey, Eddie. How's Danny?"
"His fever is finally down, but he's home with my mom. I didn't wanna risk sending him to school, he's still a bit groggy on his feet," he said, exhaustion lacing every word. "I went to check on him during my lunch break, and figured I'd swing by and see how you're doing."
She smiled appreciatively at him, narrowing her eyes slightly at him when she saw him studying her. "What?" she asked.
"This looks good on you."
She arched an eyebrow up at him in confusion. "What? The hospital?" she quipped.
He slapped her playfully on the thigh, and laughed. "No, family!" he said, his face going serious once more, but his eyes were still soft.
She smiled shyly at him, a soft shade of pink painted her cheeks, and she averted her gaze.
"I know you're not used to this, and God knows you still doubt our feelings for you! But I know these two, and trust me when I tell you, they're not going anywhere. I know it'll take time, but don't try to resist it. You used to take Rafi's side all the time, and you didn't even know him. Don't stop now!" he quipped, and Barba's eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"What do you mean take my side?" he wondered, and Eddie grinned at him.
"She called you Harvard," he teased, smiling cheekily at Savina's glare. "She actually reminded me of you, her quick wit, sharp mouth and sass were a dead ringer for you as a teenager! And when she took your side during the whole Alex fiasco, it sealed the deal. I started calling her Harvard Jr. after that."
Barba couldn't help but smile proudly at Savina, his mind wandering to thoughts of what life would have been like if he had met Olivia at the beginning of his career. What it would've been like for them to raise Savina together. He knew the girl's biological father, and knew that she did not get any of the attributes Eddie just mentioned from him. She was the spitting image of Olivia, and it seemed that she was like her in personality a lot as well. It warmed his heart to know that despite the fact that she was not biologically his, nor did she grow up with him, but that she apparently opted to use the same defense mechanisms he did as a child, and it had turned her into a mini him. He and Eddie have been friends since they were seven, so if Eddie said she was a dead ringer for him, then she was.
"Danny keeps asking about you, and I'm not sure what to tell him," Eddie remarked, and Savina sighed sadly. "Just tell him I'm sick. He knows the Solearnos don't let me have any visitors, and it will explain why I'm not going to the center."
"Except that's the excuse I used last week, so if I use it now, he'll either get suspicious, or worried."
"Why not just tell him the truth?" Olivia interjected.
"He thinks his mother died, so he freaks out every time someone he cares about gets admitted to the hospital," Savina explained.
"You told him his mother died?" Barba asked in surprise.
"Thank you!" Savina cried triumphantly.
"Hey, you two do not get to gang up on me!" Eddie protested, chuckling when identical sets of scowls were sent his way. Ironically enough, Savina reminded him more of his oldest friend, than of Olivia. But he didn't really know her all that well.
"He was three when she left, how do you tell a three year-old something like that?" he inquired, and Savina shook her head sadly.
"What the hell were you thinking with that woman!" she groaned, throwing her head back into the pillow.
"I think we already established that the only person I was right about is Rafi," he deadpanned, and she laughed, craning her neck slightly to look at him. "Except for you!" he added, and she smiled.
"I guess we'll see about that," she commented, and he shook his head adamantly. He moved closer to her, and gently cupped her cheek. "You're going to get through this, you'll finally get the life you deserve. Whoever did this will be caught, and I know for a fact that Rafi will fry her! I know your mother wont rest until she's caught. Trust me, she arrested me once," he reminded her, and she smiled. "You're not on your own anymore, and none of us are going anywhere. She can't take that away, and you were never really a people pleaser, so don't you dare start now!" he stated adamantly, and she nodded.
"I'll do my best," she replied honestly, and he nodded.
Both Barba and Olivia had tears in their eyes by the end of Eddie's speech; they were both happy to see how close Eddie and Savina seemed to be, but the doubt in Savina's eyes caused their hearts to ache. It infuriated them both; they knew that her distrust of others stemmed from growing up in foster care, from the horrors she witnessed as a child, and the scum she surely dealt with up to this point. And it made their blood boil because they knew it was all unnecessary...and easily avoided. If only the nuns had left her where she belonged.
"How about I get us all some lunch?" Barba suggested after a moment of silence.
"I actually have to get back to work," Eddie replied, giving Savina one final reassuring smile before he got to his feet. "But she usually can't resist Italian anything," he added, pointing at Savina.
"Alright, I know a great place a couple of blocks from here. I'll call in the orders, and go pick them up. Any special requests?" Barba asked, and both women shook their heads. He looked at Eddie for help, he knew even if Savina did have something in mind, she won't vocalize it.
"Anything with pasta or chicken," came the simple answer. Barba waited till Eddie kissed Savina's cheek goodbye, and they both made their way out of the room. Savina watched them as they amicably talked to each other, as they walked towards the elevator, before she turned her attention back to Olivia.
"He really loves you," she stated matter of factly, and Olivia smiled at her.
"Took me a while to believe it, but yeah he does."
"Why? A blind man can see that he's head over heels for you!"
Olivia chuckled, remembering all the different comments people had once they disclosed. It varied from 'I knew it', to 'Finally', to people demanding their win in a long-standing bet!
"I don't have the best track record when it comes to dating or relationships, so I guess I was afraid I was merely seeing what I wanted to see," she said honestly.
"Yeah, Lucia said you two worked together for three years before you finally got together."
"We didn't just work together, we grew close quickly. We understood each other, and even though I didn't think he had any feelings for me, I knew I could always depend on him. I knew that he will always have my back. So when I finally admitted to myself that I have feelings for him, I was too afraid to risk it, and end up losing him all together," she confessed, and Savina nodded.
"I'm just glad you finally went for it, you two deserve to be happy."
Olivia's heart lunged in her chest, she couldn't believe that despite everything she faced, Savina still managed to keep a pure heart. It made her ache even more for all the lost years, for all the suffering she went through, for the hell that she had just witnessed. She didn't deserve any of it. She moved closer to her on the bed, put her hand on the other side of Savina's body to support her weight, while the other hand softly stroked her hair, pushing a few strands out of her eyes.
"So do you, sweetheart. And I promise you, I'll do whatever it takes to make it all up to you. We both will."
Savina smiled tearfully at her, her haunted brown eyes held the identical pair that belonged to her mother. It felt weird, she had long given up on ever finding a family. She hadn't thought about tracking down her biological mother once she heard the story of her abandonment. She had stopped herself from ever getting attached to a foster family, stopped herself from getting comfortable anywhere. Refused to accept help, or allow herself to believe that someone would do something for her simply because they wanted to, or simply because they cared about her. It took her almost a year to believe that Diana was not hanging out with her out of pity. And the only reason she trusted Sam and Demetri was because Diana had vouched for them, and even then it still took time for her to trust them fully.
But there she was, propped up in a hospital bed with her mother sitting right next to her, looking at her warmly, and vowing to try and take it all away. She wanted to run away, retreat into the shell she had spent years perfecting to shield her from the real world, from any pain anyone could inflict on her. All the demons she spent years harboring and nurturing were screaming at her that it was a bad idea, that it will end badly, and will cause her more pain than she could bare. She had believed Barba's words earlier, but that was only because she couldn't think of any reason – logical, or otherwise – for him to lie. It was his job to put criminals away, so he was simply promising her to do his job to the fullest. But this was different, she was supposed to believe that things will finally go right in her life. And experience had taught her that it never ends well…hope always ends up crashing and burning.
But something in her voice, in the way she was looking at her, her touch, the way she draped her body protectively over hers, the fact that she kept coming in day after day made the tiny inkling of hope that blossomed earlier grow. She nodded almost reluctantly at Olivia, reaching up and taking Olivia's hand into hers, and squeezing it gently.
"I just need some time," she whispered.
"Take all the time you need. Like Eddie said, we're not going anywhere, and no one is gonna force you to do anything you're not comfortable with. Just know that you're not alone anymore."
By the time Barba made it back from the restaurant, it was almost two in the afternoon. He had already spoke to his mother, and updated her on how everything went. She promised him that she will swing by after work to check in on Savina, and swatted down any attempts at protesting. He had his phone pressed to his ear, as he made his way down the hall towards Savina's room. He was talking to Lucy to get an update on Noah, as he rounded the corner. He frowned when he saw Olivia standing outside the room, her back leaning against the window that looked into Savina's room, her head bowed, as she seemingly stared at an invisible spot on the floor. The blinds were closed, and the officer seemed to be nowhere. His stomach dropped, and he could feel himself on the verge of a panic attack. His caffeine-fueled brain conjuring up every dark scenario as to what could've happened in the two hours he'd been gone. He hurriedly ended the call with Lucy, and picked up his pace, his worry increasing when she seemed totally oblivious to the sound of his footsteps.
"Liv," he called worriedly, and she finally looked up. "What are you doing out here? Where's Officer Gonzalez? Why are the blinds closed?" he fired off the questions without waiting for a reply.
She held up her hands to calm him. "The nurse is changing the dressings, and Gonzalez is simply taking a short break to get some coffee since I'm out here anyways."
He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding, and dropped the take-out bags onto the vacant seat. He saw the ghost of an all too familiar pain swirling in her eyes, as well as pain from fresh wounds. He stepped closer to her, put both her hands on her arms, and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. Her hands immediately fisted around the front of his coat, and she sighed, leaning heavily into the kiss.
"I didn't know if I should stay or leave, and I didn't want to push her into anything, or patronize her…..I…..I….." she stammered, her voice barely audible, as she now rested her head back onto the glass. His hands were still on her arms, now moving rhythmically up and down to sooth her.
"She knows, Liv. This is unfamiliar territory for both of you….heck, for all of us. There is no rulebook, or guidelines on how to handle something like this. It's all trial and error."
She opened her mouth to point out that Savina already went through too much to allow any room for error, when the door swung open and the nurse popped her head out. "We're all done, if you wanna come back in."
Olivia didn't need to be told twice, she immediately went into the room. Barba grabbed the takeout bag from the chair, and made sure to leave the Officer his meal, before he followed her inside.
Olivia's heart broke when she saw the unshed tears in Savina's eyes, the way her jaws clenched in an effort to stop the tears from falling. She had seen the look in her eyes when the nurse came in to change the dressings. She saw how scared she was, how angry, how much she hated the situation, but was too stubborn to show it. The look in her eyes reminded Olivia that despite all that bravado, she was nothing more than just a terrified little girl. One who found herself in a horrible situation, one that she did not know how to handle. She made her way over to her, and wordlessly lowered herself onto the bed next to Savina, placing a hand over the one that was still clenched tightly around the sheets. She rubbed her finger over the white knuckles until they let go, and she gently took the hand into her own. The look in Savina's eyes broke her heart; she was desperate to understand the situation, silently pleading with her to give her an answer that would comfort her. And as much as Olivia desperately wanted to take it all away, she knew that anything she'll say right now will sound like a cheesy cliché, and won't really do much. She used her free hand to gently cup her cheek, and just smiled reassuringly at her.
"I know." Was all she said, the pad of her thumb softly caressing her cheek.
Barba could only look on sadly at the interaction, his always too-smart-for-his-own-good brain decided to fail him now for the first time. Savina's hair was wet, so he figured that she must've showered. He smiled politely at the nurse once she was done gathering her stuff, and was taking her leave, thanking her softly as she pulled the door closed behind her. The blinds were still closed, so it gave the small family the privacy they needed.
Savina and Olivia held each other's gazes for a few moments, while Savina recovered, before her brain finally caught up to the fact that Barba was there as well. She tore her eyes away from her mother's, and looked over at Barba. He saw a hint of surprise fleetingly appear in her eyes, which he thought was a bit odd. But before he could ask her about it, she spoke first.
"Smells delicious," she commented sincerely, and he conceded to the subject change. He hadn't told Olivia yet, but he placed a call to Dr. Lindstrom asking him for advice about the situation. Lindstrom, of course, insisted that he can't give any professional opinion without meeting Savina herself, but had one advice; he told Barba to not only take Savina at her own pace, but to let her lead. That at this moment in time, if she avoids any serious talk, they should let her. So despite his confusion at the surprise in her eyes, when she steered the conversation away from the grim situation they found themselves thrust into, he let her.
Olivia shifted slightly on the bed to allow room for the pull-out table, and helped Barba open the various containers, and rip open the plastic securing the various lids. Olivia was worried that Savina may have lost her appetite after what just happened, but it seemed that the smell of the food placed in front of her superseded any appetite suppression she may have felt.
Barba smiled softly when he saw her eyes light up ever so slightly at the sight of the chicken and pasta dish he chose for her. He pulled the chair to the bed, and all three dug into their meals.
"Lucy called, she should be at Bella's any minute. I'll get Noah on my way home, and she said she was free for the rest of the week, so we don't have to worry," Barba told Olivia, after a few minutes of comfortable silence.
"Yeah, Bella called and asked if spaghetti and meat balls were still Noah's favorite," she stated, and Barba smiled.
"How's the pasta?" he inquired, and Savina smiled.
"Absolutely perfect. Thanks." She said sincerely, and his face broke in the first genuine grin of the day.
"This is where I took her on our first date," he remarked off-handedly. "Basically had to drag her inside!" he teased, and Olivia rolled her eyes at him.
"Only because I was in jeans!" she defended, smiling when she saw Savina chuckling. "And this is one of the most upscale restaurants in town!"
"You wore jeans on your first date?" she tantalized jokingly.
"In my defense, I didn't even know it was a date! It was a Sunday afternoon, and he suggested, that the three of us go out to dinner. 'Nothing fancy' he said!" Olivia recounted.
"I guess we have to visit your definition of 'fancy!'" Savina quipped.
"Well, I don't have the best track record when it comes to relationships, so I wanted a relaxed evening without any pressure," Barba relented.
"Now, where did I hear that one before?" Savina alluded, looking pointedly at Olivia.
Olivia laughed – genuinely laughed – her eyes dancing slightly at how marvelous it felt hearing Savina tease her like that. "Yes, I admit. We're both social retards when it comes to dating!" she confessed.
"Well, it all worked out for the best," Savina pointed out.
"True. But many people lost money on us!" Olivia shot back, and Barba nearly spit out his food.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Apparently, there were bets on the two of us getting together!" she informed him, guiltlessly enjoying the truly shocked expression he wore.
"Please tell me you're kidding!" he begged. She merely laughed, her shoulders shaking softly, as she shook her head from side to side.
"Great!" he groaned.
"Who won?" Savina asked.
Barba gave her a look of faux disapproval. "You're enjoying this aren't you?"
"Oh, yes. Immensely!" she grinned unrepentantly.
"Fin was the closest guess," Olivia told her.
"You said you two have been partners for sixteen years, did you move together from precinct to precinct?" Savina wondered.
"No, I've been in SVU for seventeen years, and he started a year after I did," Olivia corrected.
"You've been doing this for seventeen years?" Savina asked in both disbelief and amazement. Olivia nodded, trying her best not to let the toll it had taken on her show.
"That's quite impressive," Savina said in awe. Olivia's heart fluttered at the hint of pride and admiration she heard in her voice. After all, she had been the reason why she stayed in SVU for almost two decades. All those pedophiles, child molesters, rapists that she put away, she did for her. She was trying to make the world as safe as possible for a child to grow up in it unharmed. She wasn't delusional, but she wanted to give it her best shot. For her little girl.
She snapped out of her own thoughts when a knock came, and Barba's voice reached her ear as he ushered whoever it was inside. The door opened to reveal a very exhausted looking Amanda, but Olivia was surprised to see the gleam of happiness and hope in her eyes. She knew how to read the blonde well, she came baring good news.
"Hey. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt," she apologized once she saw the food spread out.
"Not at all. Grab a chair," Barba urged, but she shook her head.
"No, thanks. I'm not hungry."
"You look like you have news," Olivia remarked, and Amanda nodded.
"Yeah, and I think this is just the break we need."
So here's another chapter guys. This one was a bit difficult to write, for some reason it wouldn't flow, but it should be a smoother ride from now on.
I have an idea for another story, one where Savina did in fact grow up with Olivia, and it explores their relationship as Olivia deals with what happened with Lewis. I know that there is a story with a similar storyline, but that one deviated from canon, which I'm planing to stick to, so I guess I was wondering if any one is interested.
Let me know.