FEAR AND LOATHING IN KONOHA
Title: 5. Sasuke and too OOC confession of desire
Suggested by: desbutterly
Rating: R (for some language and adult themes)
Length:
Disclaimer: I wish!
Fic A/N: The main purpose of this serie of drabbles was to make fun of over-used cliches/whatever peeves us at SasuNaru fics. That's why I said I like Sakura and then killed her. Nah, I never said my sense of humour is normal!

The day was as usual as a day could be in a village full of crazed shinobi – Jirayia was running from a bunch of barely clothed girls, Kakashi was reading porn aloud – to the audience of Iruka's students, while the latter, gagged and tied, was lying in Kakashi's bedroom, getting ready for awaiting doom, Gai and Lee were racing at the background sunset, shouting usual nonsense about springtime of youth… Never mind it was morning.

Naruto, excused from training on the ground of Kakashi's "urgent busyness and lack of missions", was slacking off at Ichiraku, when he suddenly felt shiver run down his spine. It was a bad sign. The last time he felt it was when he ran into Genma and Raidou … doing it. Oh, Gosh, he didn't want to remember! But now, the intensity of the shiver was much, much higher… and he couldn't even imagine what could cause him feel like it. Naruto, having learned to trust his intuition, quickly excused himself and ran towards his little fortress – his apartment, with every step feeling worse and worse.

Hadn't he been so stupid, he would have realized that it was his apartment that was concealing the danger, but no…! He just sped up, running in warm arms of destiny… and someone else.

Sasuke was waiting for him at his door, pale to the point, when his skin went blue. On his marvelously blue cheeks was splashed pink blush. In his hands he had a bouquet of pink roses and a heart-shaped box of bonbons. Naruto stumbled and backed away.

"The fuck!" You must excuse him – had you seen this in a nightmare, I'm not sure you'd wake up… Naruto, on the other hand wasn't dreaming.

"Naruto…" Sasuke whispered and … giggled. For fuck's sake, he giggled. Naruto, having noted that his intuition proved right, did the only reasonable thing one could do in this situation: he screamed.

"Wait, Naruto-kun!" Sasuke squealed, chasing Naruto.

"Get off!" Naruto screeched feeling the latter close the distance. "Somebody! Help! SOS!"

He threw a glance backwards and ran forward as fast as he could. The streets seemed unusually silent and people-less. Frantically making his way to the safest place he could think of – the Hokage Tower – Naruto took a short cut and soon found himself facing a dead-end. With Sasuke breathing hard right behind him.

"What a chase, Naruto-kun!" He smiled sweetly at Naruto, making him take several steps back until his back hit bricked wall. Trapped.

"Somebody… help…" the blond whispered hoarsely, desperately searching for a way out.

"Here!" Sasuke giggled some more and gave him rather messy and badly bouquet and smashed box. Naruto dropped them to the ground and managed to say: "What the fuck are you doing?"

"What do you think? Confessing my never-dying love to you, stu-upid."

Naruto screamed.

Sasuke pouted.

Naruto screamed again.

"Am I doing something wrong?"

"YES!"

"And how do you think, am I supposed to confess?" Sasuke threw him a shy look, emitting another series of pants from his friend.

"…I'd rather expect you pin me to the wall and screw senseless than… this."

"Oh."

Silence spread between them, Naruto still trying to wiggle out of this shit, Sasuke in deep thought as well.

"Hn."

Naruto looked up at the sound of familiar grunt. Sasuke seemed to be returning to his old self – self-confident smirk on his face, blush and smile went flying. He stepped closer and leered at the blond.

"I guess I like your way better than Sakura's."

…and as he pinned Naruto to the wall, the latter seemed to process what he had just advised his friend to do. 'OH SHIT!"