The next sound to wake Barba was his alarm. It took a few seconds for his brain to realize that the music wasn't the soundtrack to his dreams, and for his eyes to respond to the command to open. His eyelids were heavier this morning, his brain not yet ready to awaken from the first deep sleep he'd had in weeks. He wouldn't normally admit it, but here in bed, alone and without Olivia's presence, he could finally succumb to the toll the whole ordeal was taking on him.
Between Savina's nightmares, and Olivia's…. deep sleep had eluded him for the past few weeks.
His eyes finally fluttered open, as his arm swung to switch off the increasingly frantic tone coming from his phone. He was surprised that he hadn't woke up to another nightmare from Savina. The thought that Olivia's presence next to her lulled her to sleep drew a smile on his face. Olivia had missed out on a lot with Savina, and scattered moments like this was how that ache soothed a bit.
He took a deep breath through his nose, before he finally threw the covers off of himself, and swung his legs. He wanted to shower and get dressed before Noah awoke. He wanted Olivia to get some more rest before she started her day, and if Noah woke up before he was done with his morning routine, that won't happen.
Less than half an hour later, he was showered and dressed for the day. He walked over to Savina's room, and pushed the door open a bit more, smiling fondly at the sight. Savina was still partially snuggled with Olivia, with her back facing Olivia, who slept soundly with one arm under Savina's head, while the other draped over her waist. He watched them both for a few more seconds, before he pulled the door closed all the way, and headed over to Noah's room. He saw the toddler happily babbling to himself. Noah, on his part, grinned at the older man once he saw him and immediately pulled himself up.
"Buenos Dias, mijo." Barba greeted affectionately, his heart melting at the genuine grin Noah had on his face, and the absolute adoration in his eyes. "Did you have a good night sleep?" he cooed, as he picked him up and kissed his cheek. Noah planted a slobbery kiss on the ADA's clean-shaven face, before he snuggled into his embrace. "Why don't we get our day started?" Barba suggested softly, as he moved over to the changing table to get a start on their day.
When Olivia slowly started to come to, the first thought that entered her brain was how numb her left arm felt. The second was how well-rested she felt. Which immediately shook the last of the sleep fog, and her eyes flew open in a panic. But at the sight of Savina, she smiled and calmed down.
She craned her neck around to check the time, frowning slightly when she saw it was well after Noah's time to get up. But when she saw the closed door, she remembered that Barba was the one who had the baby monitor, and Noah wasn't really a crier in the morning, so his babbling wouldn't wake her, but rather Barba.
She looked back at Savina and smiled. Savina hadn't slept like this in her arms since she identified Freed's voice at the hospital. The rational part of her brain knew Savina would need time to warm up, and be open to physical contact. But the ache in her heart was not really placated by that. She would never push anything on the brunette, but she missed her terribly. She'd missed out on so much of her life, wasn't around to protect her against so many unnecessary hardships, didn't get to sooth nightmares and scrapped knees, and all she wanted to do was make up for all of it.
Savina stirring and turning around to face her gave her the chance to slip her arm out from under her without waking the brunette. As much as she hated it, she needed to get up. She watched Savina sleep for a few more seconds, before she softly brushed the hair at her temple and feathered a kiss to her forehead. "Sweet dreams, sweetheart." She whispered softly.
She stood in the doorway to the kitchen watching as Barba poured juice into Noah's sippy cup, the latter sat in his highchair munching on some cut-up pieces pancakes that were placed on the tray in front of him.
"Here you go, mijo." Barba stated, as he swung around to hand Noah his cup, and spotted Olivia. "Morning, gorgeous." He greeted, and she smiled. Her heart had melted when she heard him refer to Noah as 'mijo'.
She walked into the kitchen, and kissed him chastely on the lips. "Good morning, handsome." She said softly, and he smiled at the content tone in her voice, and peaceful look in her eyes.
"Mama." Noah called, his hands making grabby gestures to signal his desire to be picked up by her.
"Morning, my sweet boy." She cooed as she pulled the food tray away from his body, and obliged his request. He wrapped his small arms around her neck, and she wrapped her own around him. "Did you eat your pancakes?" she asked, as she eyed the tray that now only had three small pieces left. He nodded enthusiastically at her, and she smiled lovingly at him. "Who got you all dressed and ready for the day?" she crooned adoringly at him.
And that's when it happened. When Noah decided to bring Lucia's comment from the previous night to light. He looked over at Barba, and pointed. Just as the last word either Barba or Olivia expected left his mouth.
"Papi!" he said proudly.
Barba's mug froze midway to his lips, and he refused to meet Olivia's eyes. He was terrified of seeing the panic in them as she thought of a way to tell Noah that he wasn't his 'papi'.
If the moment wasn't such an emotional one, Olivia would've laughed at how Barba looked. But when she looked at his panicked eyes that absolutely refused to meet hers, she was heartbroken. She'd let Lucia's comment slide the previous night not because she didn't think he was as much Savina's father as she was her mother, but rather because there was much more on their plate. Afterall, they'd gotten her back at the same time, and he hadn't left her side from the beginning. Just like he hadn't left her side with Noah.
Noah, on his part, pouted when Barba didn't acknowledge him. "Papi." He repeated, whimpering.
Olivia realized that it was breaking Barba's heart not to respond to Noah, but she knew his fear of what he might find was greater. She knew she was the key to how this moment will go down in their story.
"That's right, baby boy. That's your Papi." She said lovingly.
Barba's eyes snapped up to meet hers, the shock at her words quite evident and it broke her heart.
"You've been by my side since the second I brought him home; you fought for him against Johnny D's antics just as hard as I did; you helped me get to a place where I could take care of him; you've been taking care of all three of us for weeks now without expecting much in return. So yes, Rafael, you're as much their father as much as I am their mother." She finished her monologue, the gap that was between them now closed, the hand that wasn't supporting Noah's weight cupping his cheek.
He wasn't quite sure when the tears clouded his vision. Was it when Noah repeated it on a whimper? Or was it when his own fears and doubts ran wild? Or was it because of what Olivia just said?
"I didn't say anything last night because there was so much going on, and I wanted to discuss it at a better time." She added when he didn't say anything.
"I didn't want to push anything on you, or assume anything." He finally found his voice, albeit it being shaky and vulnerable.
"I know. I was scared of the same thing. But you didn't run when we found Savina, you didn't run when she kept waking up countless times every night for weeks, you didn't run when I had to stay in the hospital and you were left to your own wits with a toddler." She listed. "I think if you weren't as much their father as I was, you would've at least taken a step back from all of this." She continued. "You know blood and paperwork are not what makes parents, Rafael. It's the work, effort and emotions you put." She finished softly.
He kissed her forehead, as he wrapped his arms around both her and Noah. "I love you so much, Liv. All three of you." He declared sincerely.
"Ove you." Noah echoed, and Barba's heart melted.
The day had been going as well as expected with a case like the one they had. Her squad was still trying to find enough credible witnesses to testify against the three boys, but despite how many windows looked over the lot where she was attacked, it seemed that most people just watched from a distance and didn't even call the police.
She had her glasses on as she worked through the mountain of paperwork on her desk that had been piling up for weeks, but her mind was going a thousand miles a minute. She was thinking about her conversation with Barba, and how it would affect Savina.
It's true Savina wasn't even calling her 'mom', but she guessed that she would eventually and wasn't sure if she would do the same with Barba. And how would they approach something like that with her? If they should even approach it at all! Not to mention if they should let her know themselves about Noah bestowing the moniker on Barba, or should they just wait until Noah said it in front of her?
Maybe she should call Lindstrom.
Just then the knock on her door had her eyes snapping up to see who her visitor was before she ushered them in. And she found herself looking at the man she hoped she would never get the displeasure of seeing him again.
"Why are you here?" she said through gritted teeth.
"We didn't get a chance to talk yesterday." Was the response, as Elliot Stabler walked into her office.
Olivia scoffed. Barba was right, he only heard and saw what he wanted to.
They never got a chance! She didn't give him one!
"We have nothing to talk about. I thought I made that clear yesterday." She snapped.
"I realize the way I left things when I walked away hurt you, and I understand your anger…" her loud snort cut him off.
"Wow, Rafael and Savina were right about you!" she scoffed. She saw him about to comment, so she continued. "Let me make this short. When you walked away five years ago after twelve years as my partner, I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, that you were healing and trying to cope with what happened. I didn't hold it against you when I found out you put your papers in from Cragen. But when my abduction is all over the news and I hear nothing from you, then I am done coming up with excuses for you. When five years roll by and I don't hear a word from you, then you don't get to waltz in here and demand to talk." She seethed.
"If you would let me explain." He tried.
"Explain what? That after some time it became harder to reach out? That when I survived Lewis you weren't sure what to say? That you were going stuff of your own? Or do you have a new excuse that I missed?" she questioned.
"You changed." He observed, and she was taken aback by his comment.
"Of course, I changed. It's been years, Elliot. And a lot of what you see have always been there but hidden because it would've bruised your ego to show it." She shot back.
"Was dating a lawyer a part of it too?" he snapped, and her eyes darkened. But before she could respond, an angry voice came from the doorway.
"You have got to be kidding me!" the incredulous look she had on her face was a cross between Barba's and her own angry face.
"Savina!" Finn's voice came from behind her, just as he appeared in the doorway, and put a calming hand on Savina's shoulder. He wasn't sure he wanted a repeat of the previous day.
Olivia's anger morphed into worry when she saw Savina. "Sweetheart, everything alright?" she asked.
"Yeah, I was just thinking we could grab lunch together." She responded, her eyes not leaving Elliot.
"That's a great idea!" Olivia stated, as she took off her glasses and closed the laptop. She walked by Elliot towards the coat hanger, grabbed her coat and bag.
"Can you take care of this?" she said to Finn, who nodded solemnly.
Elliot was about to object, but one look out of Finn and he swallowed it.
"Stabler, are you really that thick?" Finn growled once Olivia and Savina were out of earshot. "She made it clear yesterday that she wanted nothing to do with you. But not only do you show up here, but you once again insult a good man whom you know nothing about just because of your ego?" Finn was never one to hold back any punches, and he was fiercely protective of Olivia and Savina. Not to mention he wasn't fond of Elliot.
"We needed to talk. She was too angry to listen yesterday." Elliot defended. "I don't know what's gotten in her head. I mean, she's with a lawyer; she won't let me get a word in, she took that girl's word for granted that she's her daughter…." He rambled, but when Finn heard his last sentence, his calm demeanor changed.
"Don't you dare!" he warned darkly. "You know nothing about Savina. We found her, not the other way around. And Barba, he stood by her through Lewis. Which you know nothing of, because you didn't even call her, nor did you reach out to any of us. He fights for victims like none of us had ever seen from ADAs before, he stood by Liv when Noah came along, and when Savina came along. You know nothing of what her life had been like for these past two years, nor of the challenges she faced and how Barba stood by her through thick and thin. And if you dare accuse him of only doing it for his own benefit, then you wont like my answer." He warned. "You're her past, Stabler. And she made it clear that you don't have a place in her present or future. So how about you get your head out of you ass far enough to see past your own ego for a change and actually listen to what she's saying and do it?"
Elliot stood there in silence just looking in shock at Finn. "Did you really expect to just slide back into her life as if she kept your place for you all this time?" he wondered. "She moved on, Elliot. Whatever history you were banking on to excuse those years, that's all it is…history. And she left in the past. So, you should too."
So here's the next chapter, and the end of our Elliot Stabler arch. Hope I did it justice.
Stay home and stay safe.