Season: I'M SOOOOOO SORRY! I know this chapter was supposed to be up AGES ago but well, things happened. Between me being on vacation (a horrible one,) ugh I haven't had such a bad family vacation before this one so it was just terrible for me and then I got writer's block on the last part and I just RECENTLY got to finish it. (By recently I mean a couple hours prior to posting this.)

Is it too late to say; Happy New Year?

Narrator: Totally late.

Season: Don't you start with me now...

Narrator: Horrible real life, blah blah, writer's block, blah blah. WHO CARES?

Season: You're not getting a Christmas raise.

Narrator: YEA I AM! It's in my contract.

Season: *shows a paper* This contract? *tears it*

Narrator: I HAVE A LAWYER!

Season: You're too broke for a lawyer.

Narrator: Who's fault is that, hmm?

Season: And who's fault is it that I need therapy?

Narrator: ...

Season: I thought so!

Anyways; TOTALLY BELATED CHRISTMAS, HAPPY NEW YEAR AND ALL THAT AWESOME STUFF.

New chapter off the oven just for you. I love you all!

Narrator: I just want my Christmas raise... *sniffles*

[-]

Stupidity Does Not Earn You Heaven

by: Season Of Magic

[-]

"Mom! Mom! Mom!" Brianna's screams echoed all over the room.

Dawn rolled over in the bed. Pressing the pillow to her face, she tried to muffle the sound. Due to the endless amount of kissing, she and Ash had gone to bed around one-ish. So she was extremely tired.

Brianna took the pillow away. "Mooooooom! It's Christmas!"

"It won't be if you don't let me sleep." Dawn said.

"It's six in the morning and I want presents." Brianna insisted.

"Well, I want sleep." Dawn said.

Brianna changed tactics and hopped to the air bed. "MAY!"

"Yes, Bri? I'm up." May said.

"May, presents." Brianna said.

May stood up from the bed. "Shall we go and see what Santa left us?"

"More like let's go and open all the presents you all bought for me."

May nodded as she yawned. "Right. I forgot you don't believe in Santa."

"If I do, does that mean I get more presents?" Brianna asked.

May laughed. "No."

Brianna pouted.

"Mornin'" Ash said with a bright smile.

"Morning!" May and Brianna said, all chipper.

Dawn groaned from where she was, face down in the table, waiting for May to finish making coffee. Brianna was happily drinking milk with chocolate and a piece of toast.

"I can't wait to see what presents I get." Brianna said excitedly as she munched on her toast.

"I seriously think Santa was made as a distraction for kids to annoy parents more than usual." Dawn uttered out. "It's too early for this."

May laughed and grabbed cups off the dishwasher and poured the coffee into them. "We all have presents, don't you want to know what you got?" She asked.

"Not at this particular moment." Dawn said.

May fixed Dawn her cup with various spoonfuls of sugar then slid it to her. "Here, this will perk you right up."

Dawn finally raised her head off the table and downed the cup in quick gulps. Ignoring the heat was impossible and she was fanning her tongue.

Ash raised an eyebrow as he calmly drank his cup. "Did we switch personalities?" He couldn't help but ask.

Dawn glared at him. "We didn't go to sleep until two. How are you so awake?"

Ash grinned and gave a peace sign. "Because I never went to sleep."

Dawn sighed.

That Tracey and Gary were still sleeping was momentarily forgotten by Brianna as she ran over to the living room. She was in total awe at the stockings and the order in which the presents had been placed.

"It kind of does look as if Santa passed by." Brianna said in a approving voice. "Good job Ash!"

"I helped too you know." Dawn said.

Brianna walked over to the Christmas tree and slid under it looking for her stocking. Grinning as she saw hers, she took it and shook it then glanced inside.

"Whoa candy!" Brianna screamed.

Dawn shook her head and took the stocking. "It's too early for candy don't you even think about it."

"Mooooooom!"

"Just open one gift so we can all go back to sleep." Dawn said.

"But I want to open them all." Brianna said.

"Tracey and Gary are still sleeping." Dawn said. "We're opening the gifts together."

Brianna glanced towards the presents. "Honestly, I have no clue which to pick." She said.

Since they had all decided to do a kind of secret Santa thing, no one had written the name of who had given the gift. Only the name of the giftee was written.

"It's like having your own basket of surprises." Dawn said. "You won't know who's you're opening."

"And that's what worries me." Brianna said. "I wanted to open yours and Ash's last!"

"Well..." Ash started pointing to the stack.

"Don't ruin it." She said, taking his hand in hers to stop him from saying which present was his.

May yawned. "If you're not opening anything you parrot, then why did you wake us up?"

"Kids wake everyone up early on Christmas." Brianna said with a grin.

May ushered Brianna up the stairs. "Let's go wake up Tracey and Gary then."

Gary Oak thought he had done the smart thing. Yet in reality his plan had backfired. You see, when he and Tracey went to bed, he decided to lock the door as to prevent Brianna to come wake him up early in the morning. That thinking came back to bite him tenfold.

Brianna started kicking the door and knocking over and over, quickly humming songs from Disney movies at full volume.

After three minutes of it, Gary unlocked the door. He was glaring to Brianna, who in turn simply flashed a big smile and waved.

May and Dawn were recording the scene and Ash was laughing in the distance.

Tracey had been the sensible one, and simply hugged Brianna, wishing her a merry Christmas and proceeded to head to the bathroom to wash his face and teeth.

Once he noticed that Ash was laughing, Gary screamed his head off at him and fuming, locked himself in the other bathroom.

"I'd say that went perfectly, don't you guys think?" Ash asked.

Brianna gave a peace sign.

It took four cups of coffee to calm Gary down. Tracey was sipping his first cup of tea, and Brianna was drowning crackers into a second cup of hot chocolate.

Ash and Dawn were making bacon and eggs while May was in the living room talking on the phone with her brother.

Gary sighed. "What a stupid way to spend Christmas."

Ash glanced to him. "We haven't even done anything, the day is just starting."

Gary stared at his cup of coffee. "I'll need about five more cups to deal with all of you."

"Okay grumpy pants." Ash said, "I'll set the coffeemaker."

Gary raised his cup. "I was being sarcastic."

Ash shrugged and kept staring at the bacon in the pan. "Couldn't tell the difference."

Gary placed the cup down. "You are annoying."

Ash grinned as he flipped the bacon over. "Ash Annoying Ketchum, at your service."

"More like Ash the insufferable." Gary muttered.

"I'll pretend I don't hear any words coming out of your mouth." Ash said as he moved a bit off the stove so Dawn could add the eggs to the pan. They took turns flipping their things and lightly shoved each other off the stove in a flirting manner.

Gary stood up and put the cup down on the sink. "I'd rather suffer through the munchkin opening her gifts than seeing you two flirt."

Ash stuck his tongue out.

By this point Tracey had downed a second cup of tea, Brianna was still dunking crackers on hot chocolate but perked up at her name.

"Yes, let's go open presents!" She said as she put her cup to the side. "Come on Tracey."

"But I was having so much fun listening to their banter." Tracey said.

"Presents are so much better."

"Yeah, I can't argue with that logic."

"Seriously?" Brianna said as she held out three hair bows in complete shock. She was blinking in rapid succession. "I mean, thank you."

"They're cute." Dawn said as she glanced to them.

"I guess." Brianna stated. She placed them down then went to open a second gift.

Ash laughed. "And this is why you don't give a kid anything that's not toys for Christmas."

Brianna blinked. "Ah, no. I liked them, really..."

Ash smirked. "It's okay, kiddo! Just wait until you get to my present."

Dawn poked Ash. "Stop trying to make it a competition."

Ash grinned. "Honestly it seems I don't even have to try."

Dawn crossed her arms. "Well, just wait until she sees mine then."

Brianna clapped her hands. "SHUSH! I need to concentrate."

"Sorry." Both Ash and Dawn said.

After a couple minutes of opening various presents and squealing from receiving plushies, building blocks and some children nail art things she finally got to the final two presents. One was pink and the other one blue. Opening up the one with blue wrapping paper first, she held her breath as she waited to see what was inside. She squealed louder than she had all morning, when in front of her was an assembly-required, talking vanity set. The vanity came with various voices and commands recorded by famous and renowned Elite Champions Cynthia and Diantha.

"I love it! I love it! I love it! I love it!" She jumped up and down.

Ash tried not to smirk but his face was already lighting up almost as much as Brianna's was.

"How?" Was all Dawn asked, clearly knowing who had gotten it for her daughter.

"Yeah! What gives? Doesn't that vanity only come pre-recorded with Cynthia's voice?" Gary asked all of a sudden.

Ash crossed his arms and actually did smirk this time. "I might have called in a few favors." He said sticking out his tongue.

Dawn pouted. "This is so not fair."

Brianna was hugging the vanity set box as if it was the most amazing thing she had seen.

"Hey! You still have one more gift to open you know." Dawn said.

"She's right." May said, pointing to the last present.

"I wonder what's in it." Tracey said.

Brianna relunctantly let go of the box and went over to open her last present.

"I told you she should have saved mine for last, now you're all seriously going to lose." Ash said.

"Whatever it is, I'm going to love it." Brianna said while she tore the pink wrapping paper. "Mom always gets me awesome presents."

Dawn pouted. "Nothing beats a flipping talking vanity with voices by two elite champions."

Brianna shook her head as she pointed to the gift. "This might come close."

"I doubt it." Ash couldn't help but state.

Brianna screamed as she finally saw what the present was. In front of her was a ribbon case, with her name using unown letters and inside were the signatures of Zoe, Kenny, May, Drew, Wallace, Marina, Solidad and Johanna.

Ash took a closer look at the case. "Whoa!" He was clearly impressed.

"How did you even manage to get Marina and Solidad's signatures?" Gary asked. Once again, he knew a few things.

"Their signatures are hard to get." Tracey said nodding.

"I called in a few favors." Dawn stated, sticking her tongue out.

Brianna was looking over all the names. "Johanna... wait, that's my grandma!"

Dawn nodded. "Yep, even though we're still not talking, I couldn't just NOT get you her signature. She's the top coordinator after all."

"How did you manage that then?"

"Zoey was the one who did it last minute." Dawn said her arms raised defensively. "She apparently told my mom she was doing this for a huge coordinator fan, which I mean isn't really a lie."

Brianna hugged the ribbon case tightly. "I love it." She said, "but mom... why didn't you sign it too?" Tears began falling from her eyes.

Dawn stared confusedly. "Eeeh!?"

"You were a famous coordinator too mom! You should have signed it."

Dawn laughed lightly. "Ahaha... I was not that famous." She said as he hugged Brianna trying to calm her down.

May grinned as she pulled out a sharpie. "Don't worry, we can fix this."

Dawn glanced over to May. "Oh no..."

May's grin grew wider. "Oh yes missy!"

"Okay but seriously which present was better?" Ash asked.

Brianna's tears turned into light sniffles and she wiped the last ones from her eyes. "I loved them all." She said.

"Well, that settles that matter." Tracey said.

Season: THANK YOU ALL FOR STICKING WITH ME SO LONG. 2017 will be an AWESOME year for this story, I totally feel it.

Narrator: Now review so I can get that Christmas raise.

Season: You are such a money person...

Narrator: REVIEW!