Q: How old was Yuffie when Genesis and Angeal were still around? Does anyone know exactly?

A: Yuffie is 9 years old currently. She was born Nov 20, 1991 and is 5 years younger than Cloud (Cloud was born Aug 11 1986).

A/N: Similar to the past two weeks, parts of this chapter may resonant with the Capitol riots from a couple weeks ago. I've had this part of the plot pretty much ironed out for the past couple months, though, so I kept everything as-is. Please keep this in mind while reading, and I hope nothing feels too soon for anybody.

"This kitten's… got claws?"

Cloud twitches as he turns to face Zack – out of all the things the teen could bring up, it had to be that. They had only just freed Rufus's secretary from her hiding spot and grabbed the elevator to go find Yuffie. He hadn't even had the chance to attempt to reconcile his hatred for Sephiroth with his renewed (and completely maddening) admiration for the man. Would things never be easy?

"We are not talking about that," Cloud replies, hoping to all Gaia that his response is no-nonsense enough to get his message across.

But Zack apparently doesn't understand the meaning of the word no-nonsense, the teen looking him up and down skeptically as if not entirely believing what he was seeing. "Whatever you say, bud… I just never would have pegged Reno of all people as your type."

"What." Disgust washes over him as the implications of Zack's words sink in, Cloud's eyes probably as wide as the Gold Saucer. "No, no, no… There's nothing going on between me and Reno. There never was anything."

Unfortunately, Zack the jerk doesn't look entirely convinced. "I don't know… You two seemed rather familiar with one another..." The teen pouts as he continues, "I mean, I know you turned me and Aerith down, but I thought that was because of Sephiroth – " Cloud does not squeak, no matter what Zack might say " – not because of Reno."

"It was Corneo!" Cloud blurts out, and oh, why can't he keep his mouth shut? Just kill him now. Zack so does not need to hear this story.

"Corneo? …That's a strange name. Was he your former lover?"

"Former…? Gaia, no." Cloud thinks he's going to be sick. Him and Corneo? Gross. The thought was worse than Johnson and Sephiroth combined. "He thought I was a girl." The words are out of his mouth before he can think them through completely. But at least he and Zack are the only two people on this elevator. He would probably die of embarrassment if anybody else overheard.

"…I don't entirely understand."

Cloud sighs, exasperated. He cannot believe he's telling anybody this story. "You cannot repeat any of this to anybody. Especially Sephiroth." He takes a deep breath to start his story, but that's when he remembers the red-head who had started this entire mess. "Or Reno! I'll never forgive you if you tell Reno." Sure, Cloud was the one who brought the phrase up, but that was only because Reno was being an asshole.

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"Oh, that is brilliant!"

Cloud huffs out a sigh. He's not entirely sure when he had crossed his arms over his chest, or even when he had started tapping his foot in rhythm with Zack's laughter – the latter was pure Claudia Strife – but Zack was being absolutely insufferable. "You can stop laughing any time now, Zack."

"But Spike…!" Zack's attempt to finish a complete sentence is unsuccessful, the teen dissolving into another round of unSOLDIER-like giggles. Slapping a leg to emphasize his mirth, he wheezes, "Oh man! Not that you're not pretty – ha ha – but I can't believe Corneo picked you as his bride!" The teen finishes with a snort, his lips twitching as if he was trying to keep from laughing again.

"He was going to pick Tifa, but then I insulted him. Apparently, he got off on that." Cloud can't help but grimace as he finishes his tale. He's glad Tifa and Aerith hadn't been subjected to that, but the image of him sitting on the bed with that creep – he's so not describing it as 'sharing the bed' – was something he was still trying to purge from his memory. Gaia, he should have just let Zack think he and Reno used to be a thing. That would probably have been less painful than this.

"He definitely got himself a kitten with some sharp claws – tee hee."

Sending the teen his best sneer, Cloud warns, "I'm not impressed, Zack." But that only serves to send the teen into another fit of laughter, Zack bracing himself against the glass of the elevator for support. And when Cloud's incoherent grumbling only serves to stoke the flames of Zack's amusement, he bites out, "Shouldn't you be more bothered about the fact that your girlfriend entered the audition, too?"

"Nah." Zack brushes Cloud's concerns – grousing? – off easily, an easy-going smile on his face. "Aerith can handle herself. Besides, she had you and Tifa with her. Honestly, I'd be more concerned for Corneo and his men."

"You're a strange one, Zack."

"Sure, sure…" As Zack trails off, Cloud nearly convinces himself that he's finally free of this painfully embarrassing conversation. But then, a twinkle appears in Zack's eyes and Cloud fears the worst is yet to come. "So… Is that why Aerith wanted you to try on that dress back in Wall Market?"

"Zack…"

But Cloud's warning still isn't enough this time, and Zack practically howls, "Oh boy, is that why Aerith bought that dress?"

"That's… Wait, what?"

"Oh buddy – hee hee – if I promise not to tell anybody, will you model it for me?"

"Absolutely not."

The storage room is dark and deceptively quiet as he leaves Zack outsides to guard the entrance, Cloud silently closing the door behind him. He had thought that there would be at least some sign of Yuffie's presence – laughter, missing materia, broken shit – but as he passes the third row of materia with nothing to show for it, he can't help the doubt that starts to wriggle up. Had he guessed wrong? No, he couldn't have. Anyone who had ever traveled with the girl would have known of her obsessive love of materia. But where was she?

"Nar har har! Those jerks will never know what hit 'em!"

Cloud feels a smirk stretch over his face (and relief bloom in his chest) at the sound of the cackling cutting through the silence in the room – that was definitely Yuffie. It was nice to finally have some confirmation, especially since the room was larger than he was expecting, row upon row of materia blocking his view of the girl. He's tempted to run straight to her, but he already knows that Yuffie does not like being startled – sometimes violently so. No, it would probably be better if he announced his presence first. "Yuffie, you there?"

"Gak! They found me!" There's a shuffling noise from the far end of the room, and then the clinking of materia hitting the floor. "No! My materia!" As if just realizing she had given herself away, Yuffie immediately falls silent, an awkward pause filling the room before her voice drifts his way once more, far deeper this time. "I mean… Ho ho ho! It is not Yuffie, but the all… mighty, super powerful God of all things materia! Yeah, yeah, that's totally me!" Cloud can almost imagine her patting herself on the back (mentally) for her 'quick' thinking and can't help his snort in response. But the 'God of Materia' hears him and does not take his slight lightly, her impressively deep voice now irritated. "Foolish mortal! Do you dare challenge me?"

Cloud almost snorts again – Yuffie was always so amusing – but somehow manages to stop himself just in time. It wouldn't hurt to play along. "Oh no! I would never ever dream of challenging you, O Great and Powerful God of Materia!" He can't help the slight sarcastic lilt to his response, but if Yuffie hadn't recognized his voice yet, that was on her.

"Good, good! You are wise, mortal!"

Well, he might as well put on a show for her. She had certainly put on a wonderful one for him by attacking Sephiroth. He's just sorry he had missed it. "It's just… a shame, is all," he laments, sighing dramatically for added effect.

"Eh…? A shame?" Yuffie's voice is back to normal, so Cloud can tell that he's piqued her interest. Now, the only question is, would she take the bait?

"Well, you see, there's this super rare materia I wanted to give Yuffie. But how can I do that if she's not here?"

"…Materia?"

"Yeah. Guess I'll have to keep it for myself."

"Wait, wait! Just what kinda materia are we talking about here?"

Almost there. Pausing for a moment to build anticipation – and to stop himself from snickering again – Cloud brings out the big guns. "Knights of the Round."

Her response is instant, the girl barreling out into the open, the large, rainbow-colored pile of materia she had confiscated remaining impressively in place in her arms. Hook, line, and sinker. "Wait, wait, wait! I am Yuffie! Give it to me! I want it…" But that's as far as she gets, her voice and volume tapering off once she gets a good look at Cloud.

"Heya, Yuf."

She sniffs, angry tears welling up in her eyes. She looks ready to point a finger at him, too, but must remember the oversized pile in her arms, the girl stomping a foot and glaring at him instead. "Those jerks put you up to this, didn't they?! I won't fall for it!"

Smiling reassuringly, he drops to one knee. "I remember, Yuffie," he swears, letting out a small chuckle at the thought of the people still upstairs. "Those 'jerks' couldn't even guess where you had gone." Honestly, he's a little disappointed in Reno and Rude – they should have known.

"That's cause I'm the best there is!" She looks momentarily self-satisfied, but not even Cloud's soft "Yes, you are" is enough, the smile falling just as quickly from her face. "You can't trick me! You didn't remember this morning!"

Well, he'll just have to prove it to her then. "I know the real reason Cid gave up smoking is cause you kept hiding his cigarettes."

"Those things smell nasty!"

Chuckling, he continues, "And you're always trying to pick on Nanaki to let off steam. But it only aggravates you more cause he never rises to the bait."

Her eyes narrow as she looks him up and down suspiciously. "Ok… you're good," she admits, though she doesn't sound entirely convinced yet. Guess he would have to pull out all the stops.

Taking a deep breath, he sings. Sings a Wutaian lullaby. A soft, somber thing that is so in contrast to everything that Yuffie is, but that always reminds the girl of her mother. Cloud knows his pronunciation must be terrible and he's definitely not known for his singing – Yuffie had always made fun of his 'braying' the few times he had actually sung in front of her – but that doesn't stop the girl from choking out a sob now. From dropping her overflowing bundle and racing through the bouncing, multicolored minefield, straight into Cloud's open arms.

"Heya, kiddo," he says, trying to soothe the now-bawling child. Her words are mostly unintelligible through her tears, but he can still make out one word, repeated over and over again – alone. And, oh, it breaks his heart imagining how lonely she must have been, all by herself with her memories. Wrapping one hand around her head and the other – carefully – over and around the shuriken still strapped to her back, he cradles her to him as he whispers to her. "It's ok, Yuf. You're not alone anymore. I've got you now."

She cries and cries against him, his reassurances and the hand he has running through her hair, lightly massaging her scalp, seemingly doing nothing to calm her for several, long heart-rending moments. He doesn't stop, though, would never stop – she needs him now – and he continues his ministrations until she has slowly but ever so surely been reduced to a weakly sniffling mess.

Once he's sure the worst of it is over, he tries his hand at lightening the mood. But he's only just started to pull back, when tiny arms wrap around him, clinging to him tighter. "Don't disappear on me again…"

"I'm not going anywhere, Yuf. I just thought it might be easier to hug you if I didn't have to worry about your giant shuriken poking one of our eyes out."

That seems to be enough to break through Yuffie's sorrow, the girl chortling through her tears. "You don't have any mako in you anymore, so it wouldn't even grow back this time!"

"I'm pretty sure it wouldn't grow back even with mako. And, no, I have no desire to find out."

"Aw, you're no fun!" She pulls back then, a mischievous smile growing on her face as she throws an arm up to sloppily wipe away her tears. "We could test it out with Sephiroth!"

Cloud won't lie, stabbing the man's eyes out does sound like it might be cathartic. But he can't imagine anybody else would take it well, and he really doesn't want to upset Zack. Besides, he's mildly convinced that the fanboy side of him (that he still can't get rid of) would probably guilt him out of it. "No, Yuffie, that's wrong."

"You hesitated!"

"I did… But it's still wrong."

"No fair…" she grumbles, arms crossed over her chest, annoyed. When she realizes that her pouting won't convince him, though, she huffs out a sigh and frowns at him. "Speaking of Sephiroth, are you really telling me that months of him making goo-goo eyes at you does nothing while Rufus being the regular jerk-a-dee jerk jerk that he is is all it takes for you to remember?!"

"I guess I needed a little push." He's so not focusing on the goo-goo eyes comment.

She harrumphs, looking him up and down exasperated. "Well, at least you're consistent."

Chuckling, he pushes himself back to his feet and ruffles Yuffie's hair one last time. "I guess I am. But more importantly, young lady," he says, changing the subject and giving Yuffie the look he normally reserved for Marlene and Denzel when they were being particularly naughty. It must work on Yuffie, too, since she lets out a high-pitched squawk and fidgets nervously in front of him. "Would you care to explain what you're doing here?"

"I was just…" Yuffie trails off, watching with semi-rapt interest as a yellow orb of command materia finishes its slow journey across the floor, rolling out of sight under an untouched rack of materia. "Just… looking for some additional ammunition if that fatso caused some more trouble! Yup, that's totally it!"

Cloud can feel the unimpressed look on his face deepen – he was asking what she was doing here in Midgar, not in this room specifically. He already knew why she was in this room, and it had nothing to do with Heidegger. But, whatever, he can play along. "Heidegger's dead. I killed him."

"Oh…" Yuffie's surprise doesn't last long, the shock on her face morphing swiftly and unapologetically into a vicious smirk. "About dang time!"

"Yuffie. The chaos you caused nearly got my roommates killed."

The girl's eyebrows knit together, as if she's doesn't entirely get his point. "And that's… bad?" She asks, sounding out her words carefully.

"You might find this hard to believe, but I actually like my roommates."

"Uhhh… oops?" She looks sheepish for all of three seconds, and then indignation rolls in, Yuffie pointing a finger his way. "Hey wait! I did all this for you!"

Cloud flounders for a second, his brow scrunched up in confusion – he hadn't expected that response. "You attacked Sephiroth and Heidegger and threw the entire Tower into mayhem for me?"

"You didn't remember!" She throws her arms into the air in her exasperation, and then starts pacing in front of him, her eyes darting back and forth between Cloud and the floor, as if cataloging the discarded materia. "And Sephiroth was putting the moves on you – " Yuffie's steadily rising volume does wonders to drown out Cloud's startled spluttering, the girl ignoring the growing blush on his cheeks – "so I knew I had to stop him before he could seduce you to the dark side for good! Fatso just got in the way, so I let him know I'd be coming for him next!"

"Yuffie…" Cloud sighs, laying a hand on her shoulder to stop her pacing and tilting her head up to wipe away the tears that had started falling again. "Thanks so much for having my back. You're such a good friend." He kinda feels like he's talking to Darkstar again, not that he would tell Yuffie that – she would so not appreciate it.

"But…?"

"But Sephiroth's not entirely at fault. He was being controlled by Jenova… apparently." Cloud can't help his slight equivocating… He's still not entirely sure how to feel about – or around – Sephiroth. Though, to be fair, he's only remembered for a few hours.

But Yuffie doesn't miss his hesitation, his uncertainty, the girl calling him out on his cop-out. "You don't believe him, though!"

"I don't… Not really, no." Sighing again, he runs a hand through his hair. "But I believe Zack and Aerith. And they believe him."

Yuffie sucks in a harsh breath, her voice breaking as she croaks out, "A-Aerith?" Apparently, the mention of their once-lost friend was all that was needed to make the girl forget about Sephiroth. Fine by Cloud, he really has no desire to keep talking about the man or any of Yuffie's wild theories concerning him.

"Wanna see her?"

Sniffing, Yuffie nods her head hard, her eyes shining with a painful mixture of grief and hope. "Y-yeah! Let's g-go!" she shakily adds, her voice still rough with emotion.

"Ok, but first we need to return all this materia you stole."

"No!" Eyes now wide with fear, Yuffie spreads her arms to the sides, the girl guarding the orbs she had dropped, as if that was enough to keep Cloud from getting to the polychromatic tripping hazard behind her. "They're mine now! I found 'em!"

Cloud groans and runs a hand down his face – he should have realized this wouldn't be easy. "Yuffie, you can't keep them." He pays no heed to her offended grunt as he continues, his voice as firm as a Behemoth's hide. "What would people think if they found out that a Wutaian national made off with all of Shinra's materia?"

"That I'm the greatest ninja there is!" And Yuffie turns to the side, planting her fists on her hips and striking a mighty pose. Or at least it might have looked mighty if she wasn't a child… and if Cloud wasn't already intimately familiar with her personality inside and out.

"It would strain Midgar-Wutai relations."

"…So?"

"So, it'll make more problems for me."

"Oh…" Yuffie deflates instantly, kicking a foot petulantly at thin air, distinctively and somewhat impressively missing the red orb of summon materia directly in front of her. "But… no fair…"

Crouching down to her level, his voice is gentle as he reminds her, "You haven't forgotten what happened the last time you stole everybody's materia, have you?"

"I don't have to worry about that! I already took care of it!"

Cloud can feel confusion setting in as he blinks at the girl wordlessly. What did she mean by 'took care of it'? "Yuffie… What did you do?" The apprehension building in the pit of his stomach only grows at the wild look he receives in response.

"I killed that creep already!"

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.

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"Are… Are you telling me that you killed Don Corneo?"

"He had it coming! It's not like anybody will actually miss that creep!"

"There!" Yuffie brushes her hands together – once, twice – as if to signal the completion of her task. "That's all of it!" Cloud won't lie – Yuffie is doing a rather convincing job of playing the innocent child, hands now clasped behind her back and a toothy grin on her face.

He doesn't buy it for a second.

"Oh?" Cloud says, feigning surprise. "What about the orbs you stashed in that bag of yours when you thought I wasn't looking?"

Yuffie chokes out a gasp, appearing to be rather startled at having been caught. Honestly, how long had they known each other? It shouldn't come as that much of a surprise that he could read her like an open book. Besides, it's not like she was even being that subtle. "O-Orbs? …What orbs?" She laughs awkwardly, the grin still half on her face. Aww, poor thing. She was trying so hard.

"Yuffie, I promised Rufus that I would make sure you put everything back." He continues talking even as she opens her mouth to object – he doesn't care (nor know how) to explain why he had promised Rufus anything. He just didn't want to encourage Yuffie's bad habits. "The sooner you do, the sooner we can see Aerith."

She grumbles unhappily and incoherently for several long moments before finally huffing out a sigh and stamping her foot, a frown set deep on her face. "Fineeeee…"

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Gaia. If he had known that convincing Yuffie to return her stolen bounty would have been this difficult – honestly, it was like trying to pull teeth from a rabid Coeurl – then he would have brought Sephiroth along. At least then he could have gotten some amusement out of watching Yuffie try to kill the man again. But, no. Instead, he finds himself ready to pull out all of his hair at the level of childish reluctance thrown his way. "That's allll of it, I swear!"

"No, it's not, and you know it. Please stop lying to me." Pinching the bridge of his nose, he tries to will back the headache he can already feel brewing. No matter how many times Cloud reminds her that he knows exactly who she is, she still keeps thinking that she can pull a fast one on him. "There's a blue orb of support materia in the right pocket of your shorts and a red orb of summon materia that you shoved into your left forearm."

"Those are mine, though!"

"Not if you stole them, they aren't."

Yuffie lets out a frustrated string of Wutaian – Cloud isn't the best at the language, but he's pretty sure she just called him stingy and lame – as she rips the materia from their hiding places. Turning to finally return them, the girl switches back to the common tongue to bellyache. "What use does Shinra have for Ramuh anyway? It's not like they care about him the way I do. I mean, Ramuh and I go wayyyy back. I would so make the better owner."

Ignoring her aggravated tirade, once he's satisfied that Yuffie had returned everything (and hadn't picked anything else up), he smiles at her. "Thanks, Yuffie."

"You're not welcome!" She huffs out, shoving a finger into Cloud's chest. "And you have to do everything I say from now on, too!"

Well, he guesses he can play along again. Kneeling down in front of her once more, he lays a hand over his heart and bows his head in mock-fealty. "My mighty liege!" Tilting his head back up, he throws her a quick, playful wink and a hearty "Of materia!"

The corners of Yuffie's mouth tilt up for a fraction of a second before she crosses her arms in front of her and sniffs haughtily down at him. "I suppose I can forgive you… peasant."

Cloud can't help his chuckle at their little game, but his voice and face are entirely sincere when he vows, "Your forgiveness means everything to me, Yuffie."

His declaration does wonders at shocking her, Yuffie's mouth dropping open as she gawks at him, the hints of a blush starting to dust her cheeks. Coughing awkwardly into a fist, she tries to downplay the effect of his words, even though it's a little late for that. "Good. Now that that's over, let's go!"

"If we run into anybody, Yuf, you'll have to pretend like you don't know me."

"Oh, puh-lease." Yuffie drawls, her breath tickling Cloud's right ear, the girl having clambered up him like he was some sort of jungle gym as they approached the exit to the storage room. He had tried to complain, to persuade her that holding his hand was good enough, but she had crabbily reminded him that she was in charge now. Well, at least she had been careful with her shuriken this time. "I gave Tseng the run-around for daaaays when he was in Wutai for peace negotiations. Pretending like I don't know you for like two seconds will be a piece of cake!"

Cloud shakes his head, the hint of a smirk on his face as he waits by the door, one hand wrapped around the doorknob, the other holding Yuffie up – they should probably finish their little conversation now before heading out into the hallway. "Let me guess. You gave him the run-around cause you thought Sephiroth had him wrapped around his finger, too."

"Duh!"

It's not until he's stepped quietly out into the hallway and readjusted Yuffie on his back that he notices that Zack isn't the only one waiting for them. Or more specifically, it would appear that a group of SOLDIERs had been drawn to Zack, like moths to a flame. To the bright, dazzling flame that is Zack.

"Wait, Zack. Are you saying that Director Heidegger smuggled a child into the Tower and then tried to use her to distract everybody while he murdered the President?"

"I know, Kunsel. I'm just as surprised as you are. But I was there. I saw Heidegger try to shoot the President." Zack grimaces, arms crossed in front of him. "If it wasn't for Cloud talking those troopers around, things could have gone a lot worse…"

One of the other SOLDIERs taps his chin thoughtfully before saying something that makes Cloud really wish he and Yuffie were still in the materia storage room. "No wonder Sephiroth chose him as his student."

"And seems so fond of him," Kunsel adds.

Somehow, Cloud manages to keep his meltdown to himself this time, though that doesn't stop Yuffie from leaning into him and hissing, "Dumbasses."

"Not gonna lie, I wasn't sure what to make of him at first," the one who had started this whole infernal conversation about him and Sephiroth says.

"What are you talking about, Essai?" the fourth and final member of Zack's little huddle questions. "He summoned Bahamut on his second day!"

"I know that, Seb. But you've seen how tiny he is."

Cloud bristles at the slight against his height, but doesn't get further than that, Zack and Yuffie both coming to his defense. "You haven't seen him in action! Cloud's fierce!" Zack counters as Yuffie leans in again, growling low and dangerous in his ear, "Want me to take care of him? I'll show him what tiny people are made of."

As much as he would love to see Yuffie show this petty asshole his place, as comical as it would be, he still whispers back, "No, Yuffie. You need to keep a low profile from now on." Doesn't mean he can't get some fun out of it, though. And ignoring Yuffie's petulant "fun-sucker", he clears his throat loudly, reveling in the way that all four of the SOLDIERs across the hallway jolt in their surprise. So much for SOLDIER senses. "He can hear you, too," he warns, striding over to them. As he stops in front of Essai, he makes a show of sizing the helmeted SOLDIER up, a distinctly unimpressed look on his face. "If you're still not convinced, though, I'd be willing to show you how fierce I can be one-on-one."

"Somebody's been hanging around Commander Rhapsodos too much…"

Cloud's not entirely sure which one of them said that, but he doesn't get the chance to find out, Kunsel tilting his head to the side and looking at Cloud's precious cargo. "Is that her?"

Yuffie squeaks and buries her face into Cloud's neck, acting for the world like the shy, innocent little girl she most definitely was not. Well, no wonder she was able to give Tseng the slip for so long. "Sorry, guys," Cloud answers for her. "She's a little high-strung right now after everything that's happened. Took me a while to calm her down."

"No need to be alarmed, miss," Kunsel says, voice soft and soothing, the SOLDIER slowly removing his helmet to reveal a lightly-freckled face and short honey brown hair. "No one will hurt you here."

Peaking up at Kunsel's now-revealed face, Yuffie does a rather striking job of playing out her hesitance. "…P-Promise?"

"Of course. A SOLDIER is always good for his word."

Zack, Essai, and Seb – Sebastian, if Cloud's fragmented memories serve him right – offer their own kind words of agreement, Yuffie straightening back up and releasing a relieved sigh. "Huh… I guess not all Shinra people are meanies… You guys don't seem so bad…"

"Thank you, miss. That means a lot to us."

"I like Cloud more, though!" Yuffie insists, hugging Cloud tighter and acting for the SOLDIERs as if she was working through her shyness.

One of Sebastian's hands come up to cover his mouth, the SOLDIER chuckling at them. "You like him a lot, don't you?"

The deep breath Yuffie takes is the only warning Cloud gets. The only warning that he's not going to like whatever's about to come out of her mouth. "He's cute!" Cloud tenses in her grasp, but not even that is enough to stop Yuffie once she's having fun. "Like a little baby Chocobo!"

"Hey!" he complains, his face growing hotter and hotter as all four SOLDIERs laugh at him – he'll be having words with Zack later.

"No, no! It's 'kweh'!"

"Or 'wark'!" Zack not-so-helpfully provides. Oh, Cloud will definitely be having words with him later.

Cloud has only just opened his mouth to warn Zack that he is so not helping, when a shout of "There he is!" rings throughout the hallway. The SOLDIERs jump again, but are far more responsive this time to the potential threat, Zack and Kunsel – he thinks – moving to flank him, Essai and Sebastian falling behind, acting for all intents and purposes as his rearguard. Cloud, himself, turns to face the officers storming their way, putting as much protection between them and Yuffie.

"He's the one who knocked me out!"

Cloud won't lie, he is rather surprised at the sight of the red-faced officer in front of him. He really hadn't expected this doofus – Stevens, was it? – to be conscious again so soon. But maybe the person sent to find him had a good handful of smelling salts. Not that that train of thought will do him much good now. "Can I help you, sir?"

The other officer points a shaking finger at him and then ruins everything by opening his mouth. "You thought you'd get away, didn't you?! But you shouldn't count your cats 'til they're out of the bag!" Oh Gaia, no. Not this idiot again. Having to hear Stevens again so soon was bad enough.

"Is there a problem here, gentlemen?" Kunsel asks for them, Zack having gone tense and uncharacteristically silent next to Cloud.

Stevens shakes with anger, pointing a stubby finger Cloud's way like his comrade had just a moment ago. "This little rat knocked me and Ryland out and then disobeyed direct orders from Marshall here to go gallivanting around the Tower!" Face disconcertingly and almost impressively redder than before, Stevens continues his railing, "Don't worry, I'll make sure he receives the punishment he deserves!"

Zack grunts, offended, the teen still ramrod straight, but the idiom-idiot – Marshall, he thinks – cuts him off, fury-filled eyes now trained on Yuffie. "It's the intruder!"

Several tense moments follow, Stevens and Marshall drawing their rifles, Zack and Kunsel moving as one to shield Cloud, Essai and Sebastian boxing him and Yuffie in from behind. "Stand down!" Zack's voice thunders throughout the nearly empty hallway, steel in his tone as much as in his hand.

"But – "

Zack doesn't give the foolish officer any more chance to object, the teen doing an incredible and rather intimidating job of pulling rank, sword still raised ominously in front of him. "Gentlemen. I am Lieutenant Zackary Fair. As your commanding officer, I order you to stand. down."

The officers finally lower their weapons, but going from the scowls on both of their faces, their objections are far from over. "We meant no disrespect… sir – " Cloud gets the feeling that Stevens doesn't particularly care for showing deference to someone younger than him, though that might be something he had learned from Heidegger – "but this girl is working for Wutai! She said there are hundreds of them with her!"

"I am aware of what she said, trooper. I was there." Zack's voice is ice-cold as he addresses Stevens, his posture still battle-ready. "Are you aware that this was all a stunt pulled by Director Heidegger to kill the President and seize control of Shinra?"

"What?" Marshall's lower face is the textbook definition of scandalized as he processes Zack's words. "The Director would never do that!"

"I'm sorry!" Yuffie cries, her sobs echoing distressingly around the hallway, the girl clinging to Cloud tighter. "I'm so sorry! I d-didn't want to! B-But…!" She chokes on her rather convincing tears, one hand coming up to cover her face. The two officers, to their credit, look rather unsettled by Yuffie's display – perhaps they weren't total losses after all.

"But what, sweetheart?" Cloud encourages, voice gentle.

Yuffie whimpers, fat tears falling from her cheeks and staining Cloud's uniform top. Oh well, he needed to wash it anyway. "H-He…" Her voice quavers as she speaks, the girl sniffling for good measure. "T-The mean m-man… He made me do it! He s-said if I didn't, it would be all m-my fault!"

"What would be your fault?"

"He… H-He said that if I didn't l-listen to him, t-that…" Yuffie chokes on her words again. "That he'd d-drop the Sector 7 plate and it would be all my fault that all those people died!"

"The plate?" Well, if Cloud has one thing going for him, it's that his confusion and horror are real, as real as that of the officers and the other SOLDIERs in the hallway. He hadn't expected Yuffie to turn the story this way, nor had he expected to relive the destruction of the plate collapse – the fire, the bodies, the screams – so soon.

Sobbing again, Yuffie buries her face into his neck – Cloud really hopes that the wetness is from her tears and not anything else… "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Yuffie repeats over and over again, her voice weakening as if she was tiring herself out.

"Shh, it's ok. Nobody's going to die because of you."

She sniffles again. "…P-Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise."

"T-Thanks…" She whines miserably and buries herself further into him. He can feel the slightest of smirks pressed into his neck and just knows that Yuffie is pleased with her acting skills. She's the only one, though – the officers look a little nauseous below their helmets; Kunsel, Essai, and Sebastian all grumble angrily around him; and Cloud finds himself growing more and more exasperated with how this day was turning out… He so deserved a raise after all of this shit.

"The more I hear about that man…" Sebastian grunts out, the SOLDIER trailing off angrily.

"I know," Cloud agrees, tilting ever so slightly to see Essai and Sebastian behind him, the rest of his body still protecting Yuffie in case things turned ugly again. "She only told me that the Director stole her away from her parents. I thought that was bad enough." He really doesn't like lying to these SOLDIERs – even less so than the troopers from before – but Yuffie takes priority right now.

"D-Director Heidegger… H-He really…?" Cloud almost feels sorry for the way Stevens stumbles over his words, the man seemingly overwhelmed, but it's not like Heidegger didn't actively and in big, bold letters advertise exactly who he was. If Stevens fell for – or perhaps wrote off – the cruelty, the volatility, the sadism, then that was entirely on him.

Essai grunts, a furious look on the unhelmeted part of his face, sword still in his hand – though, the latter might have more to do with the fact that Zack still had his own raised and ready. "Good riddance to bad rubbish, I say."

"Good… riddance?"

Zack apparently doesn't take Stevens's shaky tone, Marshall's horrified look, nor either of their lowered weapons as evidence of their submission, the teen's body still overly stiff, voice still frosty as he joins the conversation once more. "Director Heidegger tried to murder the President earlier today. He told the troopers with him that if anybody resisted, that they should, and I quote, 'put a bullet through their brains'. If he hadn't been killed in defense of the President, he would have been put on trial for inciting an insurrection."

Going from the strangled looks on the two officers' faces, this information troubles them more than the tales of child abuse that Yuffie had woven. He'll admit, he has no idea what to make of that, but at least Zack hadn't mentioned Cloud's own involvement in Heidegger's demise. He's not sure how the two would have taken that information right now.

But more importantly, Cloud can tell that something about these two troopers really bothers Zack. He can't pinpoint what, but he figures it can't just be because they're idiots – Zack doesn't seem to have that much of a problem with Reno… No. Something else must be setting him off, but what?

Well, whatever it is, Cloud definitely doesn't want Zack around them any longer. Guess it's time for another diversion. "Hey, Zack? I think the girl fell asleep. It's probably way past her naptime."

"Oh!" Zack jerks, surprised, the teen finally – finally – reattaching his sword to the magnet on the back of his harness and running a hand through his hair in mock-embarrassment. "Right, we should probably take her back to the President. We've been gone long enough as is.

Stevens and Marshall remain rooted to the spot, eyes downcast, as the other SOLDIERs wish them well – "Keep her safe, yeah?" – and he and Zack start their journey back to the top of the Tower, Yuffie still feigning sleep.

It's not until the elevator has started its ascent and the SOLDIER floor is no longer within view that Yuffie tires of her act, the girl stretching back out and yanking a tuft of Cloud's hair – hard – the girl grousing out, "Past my naptime?"

Rubbing his scalp in a vain attempt to relieve the pain, one hand still holding Yuffie in place on his back, he returns, equally unimpressed, "Like a little baby Chocobo?"

Yuffie hums in thought, her crankiness washed away. "I wonder if they would let us enter a Chocobo race…"

He knows he shouldn't humor her – whatever's running through her head cannot be good – but curiosity killed the cat. "What are you talking about?"

"You and I should enter a Chocobo race! I swear you won't find a better jockey! I'll take such good care of you!"

Well, apparently satisfaction wasn't bringing this cat back. Eye twitching, Cloud grumbles, "If you tell me to giddy-up, Yuffie, I'm dropping you on your ass."

"Stingy!"

His exasperation with being compared to a Chocobo – again – doesn't stop him from noticing that Zack is still disconcertingly quiet. The teen should have been sniggering along with Yuffie – making fun of Cloud's ever so slight resemblance to a Chocobo was Zack's absolute favorite pastime. Even if he wasn't laughing along, he shouldn't be staring blankly through the glass of the elevator. "Zack, what's wrong?"

"Hmm?" Zack shakes himself out of his brooding at the sound of Cloud's voice, grief still evident in his eyes when they land on Cloud. But all it takes is a moment – and a single blink – for the pain to disappear, a hastily constructed mask and a smile that doesn't quite reach the teen's eyes now plastered on Zack's face. "Nothing's wrong, buddy!"

"Please, don't do that. Don't shut me out. I'm here for you now."

Zack runs a shaky hand through his hair, the fake smile dropping from his face as quickly as it was pasted on. "Sorry, buddy. You're right. I just…" He sighs, long and hard, the look in his eyes now distant. "Those two troopers downstairs… I remember them. They were part of the group that killed me the first time around."

"Oh…" is the best response Cloud can offer, his breath catching painfully in his throat.

"I know they didn't really have a choice…" Zack trails off, chuckling bitterly. "But I just can't stop thinking about them, about everything!" The teen glares, unseeing, as he quotes, "I don't care if he looks like a SOLDIER! He's the enemy! Kill him already!" Cloud can hear the creak of leather as Zack clenches his fists. "And it just makes me so mad thinking about what they would have done to you given the chance!"

"Zack…"

"Wait, wait, wait!" Yuffie yells, the girl clambering higher on Cloud's back, ignoring Cloud's irritated "I can't breathe!" as she tries to get a better look at Zack. "This is him? Pretty boy here is that Zack? The oh, woe is me – " the girl slaps the back of her hand against her forehead – "I'll never see my best friend again Zack? That Zack?"

Zack looks incredibly confused, but at least the pain is gone from his eyes. "Uh… I guess?"

"Alright, that's it!" Yuffie sounds incredibly agitated as she starts to tug on Cloud's hair again. "Turn this Chocobo around!"

"Yuffie, stop! What are you doing?" Cloud tries to whack her hands away, but only succeeds in convincing the girl to change gears, Yuffie swatting rather frantically at the elevator buttons – the buttons on the other side of the elevator.

"I'm gonna go kill those jerks, that's what! I knew I hated 'em!"

"We've been over this already, Yuffie! You can't kill people just cause you feel like it!"

"Why not?"

Zack coughs next to him, once, twice, before breaking down into full-blown laughter, the teen bent double, tears streaming down his face. "Oh man, Cloudy! You have the best friends!"

"What are you talking about, pretty boy? I'm your friend, too!"

"Huh?"

"Any friend of Cloud's is my friend, too!"

Cloud sighs and gives as lackluster of an imitation of Yuffie as he had of Cid earlier. "Just give up, Zack. It'll be easier. …Probably."

A/N:

- "This kitten's got claws" is something Don Corneo says to Cloud in the Remake.

- For those who haven't played the original, don't remember it that much, or never did the Wutai side quest, there is a part in the original game where if you try to go to Wutai, Yuffie will steal all of your materia and run off. Well, after leading everybody on a merry chase for a while, she ends up being kidnapped by Don Corneo. I think Corneo planned on making her his "bride", which is disgusting since she was only 16 in the game. But anyway, that is what Yuffie was referring to in this chapter.

- While planning the next chapter, I ended up getting perhaps a little carried away with a scene between Sephiroth, Angeal, and Genesis, and another between Rufus, Vincent, and Tseng. This is all to say that Cloud and Yuffie won't reunite with Aerith until two chapters from now, and Cloud won't talk with Sephiroth until three chapters from now. (Cloud talking with his roommates will probably fall in the chapter with Aerith somewhere)

- "Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back" is what Cloud references near the end. I thought it was the original version of "Curiosity killed the cat", but according to google, it's just a variation.