The Book of Revelations

Verse 3: Lucky

Author's Note: Please read and review, I will love you forever and ever. Thanks! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Eric Forman, 1977

My father is a hard ass. My mother is kind of a drunk. My sister is a slut.

My best friend is a pothead. The other two are a moron and a pervert. And as much as I love my girlfriend with all my heart, she can kick my ass and that's a little scary.

And well, we all know that Jackie is the devil.

So I've kind I've always been like, "I am Eric Forman. This is my life. God must hate me."

Until now.

I've always had little hints that I should be thankful for what I've got. Like when Edna left Hyde. I had a warm, clean house and a family to offer him. And I knewthat I was a little lucky.

And when Donna's parents were fighting all the time, over her mom's feminist stuff. I remember thinking Red may be absurdly harsh and judgemental, but he's worked his whole life to provide for us, and he's never treated my mom with anything other than love and respect. So, lucky again, check.

And well, everyone has always pointed out I'm like the luckiest freaking guy alive to have Donna love me, considering I'm a dumbass.

But tonight, it was the strangest thing. I learned once again that maybe God doesn't hate me. And it wasn't from noting someone else's misfortune, butfrom simply going to the movies with my mom.

I know, I know. And before you start in on all the momma's boy what not, I'd like to clarify that Red made me. And Red is undeniably terrifying.

And at first, I was an ass. Despite my mom's best efforts to show me she could be cool,Iacted like dillhole andit was just embarrassing and awkward. But after the movie, on the car ride home, talking and laughing about so many things, I thought for the first time I was lucky, not just because she didn't run out on me, not just because she didn't want to leave my dad, but because Kitty Forman is a trulygood person. And a damn good mother. Who loves me, regardless of anything stupid I say or do, and always will. And who takes care of not just me, but my friends too, as if they were her own. And I mean seriously, I'm not naïve enough to think they always come over and practically live at my house because I'm that cool. No way. Something about my house is special. And I think it just might be her.

And so after we got home, I asked mom to another movie. And I know I won't be such a jerk the next time. And Red won't have to make me do it. Because this ismy revelation. I have a father who cares enough to kick my ass. I have a mother who is selfless and sweet, even if she smothers, every single day. I have a sister who, well okay we'll skip over Laurie. And I have the best friends, and girl friend, a lanky Star Wars geek could ever ask or hopefor. So I guess what I'm saying is, I'm Eric Forman. And I'm a pretty lucky guy.