Slowly as I could, I made my way downstairs to the room where my mother was, with a young woman who looked just like an older Mikari, and a tall redheaded man with shoulder-length hair. Mother sat still on the couch with her usual gaze of indifference. All heads turned as I entered the room, and Mikari and Hiro exchanged looks that only they could decipher. Now that I had told them, they only had their mysterious uncle on their minds.
I loved looking at my mother and imagining what a second child in her image would look like. Her hair was long, almost past her waist, and had a soft, inky black hue to it. Her eyes were a deep blue, and I could see why my father had loved her so dearly, and why she was now so broken. They had been made for each other, but then the curtains had been drawn on their relationship. Though they wanted to be together, they were forced to spend years apart. Since I could remember, I had only had a mother, and my father had been a phantom figure that I decided I would probably never see.
"Hi, Keiryi," Kazuma called from the chair in the corner. He had grown up since he married Yukina, and now he had lived enough to know how to make his way successfully. Looking at them, Mother was more sullen than she ever had been. It must have hurt to look at such a happy couple and know that it could have been you. Sympathy welled up in my heart, but I didn't know how to express it, so I just sat down next to Hiro. Yukina smiled cordially and nodded, acknowledging my presence.
"Good afternoon, Kazuma-san, Yukina-san," I said, gesturing toward each of them and trying to play the part of gracious hostess. Kazuma chuckled slightly and ran a hand through his long hair, brushing some of it on top of his head.
"Never knew Keiryi would grow up so much like her dad," he commented.
"Sometimes I see so much of him in her, it's frightening," Yukina added, breaking her usual silence. As I was in a rather awkward position, I blushed and remained silent, unsure as to what to say. Did they just want to analyze me whenever I came in the room?
"So what brings you around here at this late an hour?" Mother asked, turning to Kazuma.
"We just wanted to say--" Yukina drew aside her husband and whispered something in his ear. Not wanting to withold the exciting news, he reassured her and looked to Mother.
"What is it?" she asked nervously, her hands clutching at the dark jeans she wore.
"Urameshi's back in town. Him and Kayko were going through some tough times, so if you wanted to drop by his place and cheer him up, here's the address." He handed my mother a paper and smiled. "I know you guys were close."
For a moment, Mother looked at the paper in horror, as if it were some thing from her nightmares. Her eyes were as wide as they would go, and her delicate mouth hung open, unable to form a response. "I never thought he would..." she said, and nodded her thanks at Kazuma.
"So you'll go?" he asked. "Me, Yukina, and the kids were going to go tomorrow, so if you want to come then, that'd be great. Keiryi can come along too." Hiro smiled to me and I knew that we would get to have fun during the visit, whether it was inside or outside the apartment building.
Hiro gave me a sidelong look that said to be prepared to cit loose for a little while. "Tell me if you see Hiei again," he said, and then Kazuma announced that it was time to go. Mother stared at the piece of paper as if soaking in the address and then cast it aside, siting down on the couch. "Sit down, Keiryi," she said, patting the cushion next to her. "We need to talk about what happened this afternoon."
Frightened as could be, I sat down and looked up at my mother. She was cold and distant once more, looking down at me, weighing my every action in front of her. There was no way to tell what she was going to say or do as there usually would be through her eyes. "What was it that you saw?" she asked. "What triggered your power?"
"I have 'power'?" I said quizzically.
"Yes," she said. "Haven't you ever noticed that you and the twins are different...special in a certain way?"
"Yeah," I said, shrugging. I just thought we had been freaks of the gene pool, made differently because of some disease our mothers had carried.
"I'm not fully human," Mother said, "and I never fully will be. I'm part wolf demon and part earth spirit. Your father was a fox demon, a very powerful one." It was now my turn to gape in awe of the news she had told me. How could I be some sort of demon? Weren't they supposed to be evil, not just normal creatures? Who was my father, that he had been so powerful?
"What was his name?" I asked. "Where did he come from?"
"His name was Kurama, and he came from Makai, the land of the demons, my mother replied. Her face remained so passive that I doubted she was still truly alive. This was how she always was, but it was more noticeable when she was like this. When she was talking about him the life drained out of her, as if part of her wanted to be dead, and able to touch and see him again.
"You could be any mix of the three," Mother continued. "From the looks of you, you should have inherited your father's traits, but you could have inherited things from anyone else. My mother could control the earth, and my father possessed great strength and agility. In me, both talents shone through. However, since both your father and I were so powerful, one or the other will come out in you. For now, we can only wait."
"What about the changes in my appearance?" I asked, looking up at her. Mother smiled down at me, trying to convince me that she wasn't depressed at all. Some light started to shine through the darkness in her eyes, but there was nothing else of power in her.
Twiddling my thumbs, I looked up at her, awaiting a response. "It's an innate ability that rests within all nature apparitions," she replied. "Shapeshifting is a very basic technique that most are aware of from birth. Since you were born in the human manner, you were not born into your demonic form. Eventually, you will be able to shift to your demonic form, and then your shape will change along with the level of your power."
"Why?" I asked. "Why did you come here instead of staying in Makai, where you fit in?"
"Because I loved your father that much," she said softly, stroking my cheek. Slowly, I found myself slipping into her embrace, falling into the depths of those emotions that I had yet to understand.
Why couldn't she have explained these things to me when I was younger, so that I could develop, so that I could feel as though there was some purpose to my life. Right now, there wasn't much that I did that felt as though it was doing anything. If there was any way I could find my father, any way I could unveil the mysteries that surrounded me, I wanted to do it. It didn't matter if I put my life in peril in the process, because it wasn't being used for much else at the moment.
"I think I get it now," I said quietly, hugging my mother back. Such moment of emotion were so rare that I cherished them with everything I had. Father's death had left her cold as stone, a statue trying to live the life of a living, breathing creature.
"Good," Mother whispered, and stroked my hair down. "You really are so much like him. The way you act, the way you look...the resemblance is uncanny. If only you could have known him for just a short while. He would have been a much better parent than I."
Listening to her words, I knew what she was getting at. "You're not inadequate," I said scoldingly. "You're my mother, and the only one I've ever known. That's good enough for me." Okay, so maybe it was a little white lie, but I wanted to make her feel better. Really, I did want to find my father, so I could see her being happy again, but there was no place I could think of to start looking.
"I know it is," Mother whispered in my ear. "That's why I'm lucky to have a daughter like you."
Little did she know of my restlessness, my troubles at school, my confused nature. At that time, I didn't yet know who I was. Who was this Keiryi that I was supposed to be? I knew that I was much different from my mother, but I didn't want to be alienated from her, so distant that we didn't even feel like we were related anymore.
For hours, we sat together in silence, until the morning broke. "I suppose we should get going if we're going to meet Kazuma at Yusuke's place," she said, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "You'll like Yusuke; he was one of the people who helped raise you when you were little." I smiled wanly, wishing that I had been able to sleep that night. The two of us had been downstairs talking away the night, and now it was too late to go back to bed. With the weekend came a short reprieve from school, which meant more time to spend with Hiro and Mikari.
Mother got us both into the car, ready to head off to his apartment. It had been so long since last we saw anyone beside the Kuwabaras. Honestly, I looked forward to getting to see Hiro again. Even if Yusuke was a disappointment, then the twins and I could go outside and sit on the patio, or something along those lines.
We arrived and it was a modular apartment building, the kind that most people lived in in that area. Kazuma and Hiro were there, but Yukina and Mikari were nowhere to be found. "Hey, Ri, long time no see!" Hiro called, joking around as usual.
"Nice to see you too," I said a little dizzily. "Where's Mikari?"
"Her and Mom had a little family business to attend to." Kazuma was whispering something to Mother, but I couldn't quite make it out. The way Mother nodded told me that it was a grim matter, but I decided to leave it alone.
The apartment didn't look much different on the inside. There was some basic furniture, it was reasonably clean, and there were a few magazines and such on the coffee table. Hiro smiled and sat down on the couch, motioning for me to take the seat next to him. Eventually, Yusuke came through the door to the bedroom and smiled when he saw me and Hiro. "I see the kiddies grew up just fine," he said in a slick-talking voice. Though he seemed like a wannabe punk, something about Yusuke suggested that there was more to him than I could actually see. "Looks just like old fox-boy."
I quirked an eyebrow at such a mention of my father. How could he be that disrespectful to the dead? It was entirely unheard of, and though I had never met my father, I still felt it was my duty to defend him. "What did you just say?" I demanded flatly, glaring at him with my emerald gaze.
"Geez!" he shouted. "What was that for? Just made a little comment..."
"Ri..." Hiro whined, telling me to sit down and shut my mouth like the rest of the time. Still indignant at Yusuke's comment, I crossed my arms across my chest and sniffed.
"That's Keiryi," Mother continued as if nothing had happened. "The one sitting next to her is Hiro."
"Glad to see yours came out just as stubborn as her mom," he commented sarcastically. "So the big lug finally hooked up with Yukina?"
"We're married, thank you very much!" Kuwabara objected, and lunged forward at Yusuke. Smirking with delight, Yusuke put a hand out, and Kazuma's face stopped there.
"Just as weak as ever," he said, laughing and shaking his head. At this odd display, me and Hiro just watched, dumbstruck. Why were they all fighting and laughing about it?
Finally, my mother cleared things up and gave Yusuke a warning look. "So how are things with Kayko?" she asked. "Have you worked it out?"
"Oh yeah," he said. "We're going in to sign the divorce papers tomorrow. I just moved in here a week ago when she decided that she didn't want to be with me anymore." He waved it aside in a flippant gesture and for a moment, I thought I saw him looking at Mother in a rather curious way.
At this point, Hiro jabbed me in the side and we sneaked outside onto the porch. I sat on one end, legs drawn up to my chest, and he sat on the other end, one leg drawn up with his arm slung over that knee. "So what do you think of him?" Hiro asked me, gazing at me with his crimson eyes.
"He can go to Hell," I stated flatly. "He was talking badly about my father, and he looked at my mother in a way I didn't like." Hiro looked incredibly shocked that I would use such coarse language. Normally, I was very softspoked, but Yusuke and his brash behavior had made me forget my manners.
"He sure wasn't very respectful toward you," Hiro observed, looking at me. "I understand how he feels in a way, though."
"What do you mean?" I asked. Hiro gave me a look that said I should have known what was going to be said, but he sighed and continued anyway.
"Yusuke still wants to get with your mom," he said. "He's wanted to since they first met, and that was why he helped raise you. I guess he hoped that that would endear him to her."
I gasped loudly at the thought of anyone but my father being with my mother. I didn't know what my father looked like, but I could picture some man with her. Yusuke seemed like some of the boys at school who got into street fights and acted stupid. All of them had a perverse sense of humor, and it felt wrong that someone like that should get someone as intelligent and beautiful as my mother. "Doesn't he know that my mother won't accept anyone short of what my father was?" I exclaimed. "She told me herself that he was the only one she loved enough to marry or even get serious with!" Hiro leaned forward and put his hands on my shoulders, stopping me from leaping through the glass and tackling Yusuke.
"I thought you should know sometime or another," he said, looking into my eyes. I saw so much pain and so much pity in those crimson eyes, and I almost thought I saw a tear roll down Hiro's cheek. "I'm sorry if it hurt you. Some people...they say that what you don't know can't hurt you, but I've learned that it can...the hard way. Mom's sick, and we have no idea what it is. That's why Mikari's not here. She may be catching it, and they wanted us to go here, and-"
He broke out crying, and soon we were caught in a tight embrace with each other. I rested my chin on his shoulder as I cried for him, for Mikari, for Yukina, for Kazuma. As I shed those tears that I rarely let even close to my eyes, he ran a hand down my back, my shaking back, as he tried to comfort me. We were both so lost and had so much trouble realizing it. How could we have been so blind? There was no way we could have foreseen such an event, but we could have kept ourselves open. Instead of ignoring the pain, we could have braced ourselves against it.
Suddenly, I felt him fade back, hands on my shoulders once more. "Some people only look more beautiful after they cry, and you're another instance of that. Nothing you do can defeat his resiliant beauty. You've been gifted, Ri." I reached my hand up to wipe my tears away, but he got there first, and brushed them across my cheek. "I don't care if they say we're demons. In my eyes, you'll always be an angel."
I looked at him nervously, unsure whether or not I deserved the compliment. Me...an angel? I was a demon, a lost and confused soul made to live, die, and try to enjoy its life. Hiro had it worse than I did. He looked so different; he had to contend with his strange appearance from day to day. At least neither of my parents had that strangely colored hair. At least I didn't have to wear a mask to cover up the pain inside. "If you can laugh so much after enduring so much pain, then you are truly the angel here," I replied, brushing his hair away from his eyes.
"Don't kid yourself," he said, and grabbed my wrist gently. "I've wanted you for so long, but I know we have to wait. They say we're not old enough, that we don't know enough to keep ourselves from being hurt."
It was true in a way. Neither of us had a way to make money, and neither of us were legal adults yet, but that didn't mean we couldn't bend the rules a few more years down the road. "There's always our life ahead of us," I said. "Four years from now, we'll both be old enough that they can't restrict us. For now, let's keep it quiet."
"Alright," Hiro said, and wrapped his arms around me again, smiling as we got up and walked inside.
Mother looked at me with a smile and told me to go home with Hiro. And that confirmed it...my worst fears had come true.
A/N: Sorry, but I have to end it there. The next part is my first POV change. First off, I want to be absolutely clear about this next part. Thanks to my sole reviewer so far...I'm so grateful for all the support you guys give me. You could just not review, but instead you choose to show your support for the things I do. Love you forever!
Ta!
Miari