Ze ZECOND FIGHT and ZE Zorting

While the first years were drowning in the lake, Tamaki sat delicately in a pretty horse-carriage.

Draco sat on her lap. She said. "Ummmm Deraco vat are joo doing?"

"Sitting on your lap, baby!" Draco said. Hagrid was screaming in the lake….he sounded like deathly stuff.

"Vell 'bebe' get off ov my lap!" yelled Tamaki "My magickal powerz cannot hold up joor veight! Are joo so fat?"

Draco cried tears of sorrow. "omg do you think I'm faT? Omg I'll lose weight I swear I will, please don't call me fat again omg."

Tamaki laughed prettily. "Okay I'll call joo Chubs. Chubby Chubs! Tehe!"

"shut the fuck up bitch, ching chong! Damn jap! Fuck you bitch! It was your half fault bitchy chingy jap for pearl harbor BIATCH!" said Harry.

Tamaki said quietly, "SILENCE! SHUT THE FUCK UP JOO AMERICAN!"

"fuck you bitch i'm English born and bred! English! Can you understand me jap? Huh bitchass CHINK! CHINKY!"

"ZILENCE!" roared Dumbledore from the school. "WHY ARE YOU HATING EVERYONE! DIS SCHOOL WAS BUILT ON LOVE AND HAPPINESS AND WARMTH."

"BUT SIR……SLYTHERIN HATED GRYFFINDOR AND THEY LIKE…..KEPT SECRETS….LIKE THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS, SIR!" said Hermione. She was anxious in her seat.

"Okay let's go sort now." Said Dumbledore, flying to the school.

Tamaki graced the school with her fabulous grace and sashayed to the seat in the middle of the hall. She conjured her own fabulous velvet red stool with her mind, shooting out beams from her ROY G BIV eyes. "I do not like zees ugly wooden stool. I like mine own zanks."

She sat down and put the ugly hat on and it said "yep. Mmkay. Got it. Are you sure? Mmkay. Better be………HOUSE OF SAPPHIREEEEEE!"

Everyone gasped and was silent and confused.

"What!" said Dumbledore, "You serious! That's not even possible………"

"Well, I said she's in House of Sapphire so she's in House of Goddamn Sapphire." Said the hat angrily. He flung himself off of Tamaki's head and attacked Dumbledore.

"AGHHHHHHHHH!" SAID DUMBLEDORE, "AGHHHHH! GET OFF ME YOU HAT!"

"What did you call me!" said the hat. "Did you just call me a HAT! EFF YOU MAN
!"

Dumbledore apologized mournfully.

Tamaki giggled delightfully.