III.
mild september blue
.
.
Her mind went ping-pong for the rest of the week, stuck between it's-not-a-big-deal and oh-my-God-you're-so-dead.
It shouldn't be a big deal. Little did anyone know, the kiss was not their first. The history went way back to when they were eight on a soccer club practice. The coach put them in different teams, and Sora—being so obstinate to win just because she could not handle another smug from Taichi's face—gave him quite a rough tackle. The ball successfully rolled away, but Sora became a victim of her own attack when Taichi lost his balance and fell into her.
Their lips met before they reflexively shifted their heads due to the pain. No one really saw it, and even if there were, kids their age wouldn't understand how they could make fun of such a thing.
They had another one at Mimi's birthday party. She couldn't exactly remember which birthday, but Mimi asked her attendants to play pocky games, and somehow they ended up as a pair. Ambitious was a trait they equally shared no matter how frivolous the competition was, so they showed no mercy to other contestants. They finished with a petite chunk that caused their lips to touch for a moment, but it wasn't enough to beat the 0.1cm difference with Takeru and Hikari—who got nothing to lose since they were dating at the time.
But the more she thought about it, the more she realized all of them were somewhat accidental and did not even last for a second.
Back to oh-my-God-you're-so-dead, it seemed.
Even in the light of day, telling Mimi was not a better option. She was her best friend indeed, yet Sora never felt that comfortable talking about boy problems with Mimi. And it wasn't because she dated Sora's ex and eventually got married to him. It was mainly because Sora still couldn't handle the teasing after all this time.
Fortunately, she currently had an additional excuse not to reach Mimi: the honeymoon, which she was reminded of thanks to a message that had just arrived in their group chats.
Mimi: [photo]
Mimi: a plate of dosa served with coconut chutney and authentic Indian egg curry for breakfast ‹3
Hikari: oof fancy
Sarcastically, Daisuke replied a few moments later with a rather poor-quality photo compared to the aesthetically-looking one from Mimi.
Daisuke: [photo]
Daisuke: a Japanese curry for lunch, not authentic at all being a legacy of colonialism
Ken: oof fancy
What a bromance, she thought.
Koushiro joined the conversation, trying to give an equally posh caption for something that he bought from a mere vending machine. A bottle of oolong tea, made from selected tea leaves through partial oxidation process by the hands of the finest tea artisan in Japan.
Jyou followed suit, causing hysteria by sending a picture of a blood sample in a tube. A sweetened type-AB. Delicious if I were a vampire. And yes, it's a diabetes.
Complaints were flooding endlessly. Sora giggled, deciding to take a snapshot of her lunch as her contribution to bury Jyou's horror artwork.
The last surviving tuna mayo onigiri from a konbini in Shibuya. May he rest in peace.
She winced at her pathetic attempt to be poetic. Word carving was definitely not her talent. Just as she was about to put her phone back into the pocket, she received a call that nearly made her heart jump out of her chest when she read Taichi's name on the screen.
Calm down. "Y, yes?"
"Hi, there. How do you like your sky today?"
Sora glanced out of the window. "Clear blue. A hint of white clouds."
"Blue?" They were not face-to-face, but she knew he was frowning just by the tone. "Are you feeling under the weather? Grieving so much about tuna mayo-san in your stomach?"
She let out a small laugh. "No, I'm just copying what it looks like outside." She actually didn't feel anything in particular at the moment—it was just an ordinary day of work.
(Of course she excluded the fact that she nearly got a heart attack before picking up the phone.)
"Oh. I thought it was just another metaphorical answer."
"If there is anything metaphorical about 'blue sky', it's definitely the opposite of something sad, Taichi."
"Right. My bad," Taichi chuckled. "Are you in Shibuya?"
"Yeah, I have a meeting with a client outside for the entire day."
"Great. Now that you're close, want to grab a drink together after work?"
Sora was hesitant to answer directly. Taichi exhaled, knowing the reason behind it. "Don't worry, Sora. I'll absolutely keep you from getting too drunk. I just found this great place in Yoyogi, and I thought you're going to love the tebasaki just as much as I did."
They liked to look for a new hangout, just the two of them. It was not always a bar or a restaurant, but most of them were indeed places to drink. In the circle, the adventurous ones were Daisuke, Mimi, Miyako, Takeru, and the Yagamis, so Sora was a bit confused why Taichi always asked her from the beginning. Despite such fact, it naturally became their regular agenda in the end.
She fidgeted.
"…okay."
"Awesome. See you at Hachiko?"
They hung up after settling down the appointment. Sora continued with her work, trying not to bother too much about their plan. However, she could not avoid the restless feeling in the end when she walked out of the building in the afternoon toward the meeting point.
Being such a famous spot, in addition to a Friday night, the Hachiko was indeed very crowded. When she arrived, Taichi was sitting just behind the statue. They took a train for two stops, then reached the izakaya after some distance. They picked the seat by the bar, and just when they occupied the chair, a confident middle-aged man showed up in front of them with a wide beam.
"If it isn't Yagami-san!" he exclaimed loudly. "A new female companion today! Quite a charmer, aren't you?"
Sora grimaced in confusion while Taichi responded with a cackle.
"Two beers, tebasaki, and your selection of yakitori, please, Oyaji."
"Right away!"
As the man went away, Sora turned to Taichi with a cautious scowl. "What is that? Am I sort of your mistress?"
"He's exaggerating."
"So you came before with a girl, huh?"
The beer arrived, and Taichi took a sip before answering.
"I came here for a goukon previously."
"Goukon?"
"My friends asked me—not that I really wanted it. But well, now that four of our friends are married, my mother began to ask when will be my time, so I think goukon is much better than omiai," Taichi shrugged. "Sucks, eh? We're only twenty-five, for God's sake."
He was right. Funny how Sora didn't think that far, even though women tended to get a bigger pressure for marriage—especially when they were quarter a century years old. In fact, she had never set an exact target, although her friends always bet she would be the first to wed. Ever since she broke up with Yamato, she hadn't really gone for a date since she was too focused on pursuing her dream.
In this modern era, the average age of marriage kept increasing, yet parents were still entitled to a very different opinion.
She suddenly wanted to curse on Mimi and Yamato who decided to tie the knot at such a young age, so did Miyako and Ken who got hitched exactly after graduation—but if she was not mistaken, it was likely because Ken intended to enrol in police education.
Taichi looked at her curiously due to her lack of response. "What's up?" He then grinned. "Are you not happy for me going to goukon?"
She drank the beer, flustered. "Why should I worry?"
There was actually something inside her that stirred when Taichi dropped the news, but she wasn't sure whether it was indeed because of worry—only confirming her incompetence on reading her own feelings just as in the wedding.
Taichi smacked her shoulder playfully. "You probably should start thinking about it too, Sora. Who knows that your mother is secretly looking for a candidate in Kyoto!"
The tebasaki was as great as Taichi claimed. They exchanged quite a lot of topics but decided to end the night earlier since Sora was still cautious about drinking. As they walked to the station, Sora thought about asking the ultimate question, but she wasn't bold enough to be blunt about it.
She inwardly rephrased the sentence. "Did something happen at Mimi's wedding?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know… uh, something… stupid. Aside from the karaoke."
"Huh? I guess not."
"…and after that?"
"Nope."
He answered the question so quickly it was impossible for him to lie.
Yet for Sora, something still felt wrong even after they waved goodbye and boarded the different trains home.
.
.
Mimi returned a week later and got so impatient that she insisted on grabbing lunch together the next day. She waited for Sora in the lobby and jumped for a big hug right after Sora came out from the elevator. They decided to walk to an Italian restaurant that Mimi claimed to be one of the best. It was pretty near to her office, but Sora never had a chance to visit because she rarely went out for lunch. She preferred a homemade bento or a quick meal from the konbini downstairs.
"I have a reservation," Mimi said to the waitress outside.
"May I have your name?"
"Ishida."
Sora thought it wouldn't hurt her after all this time, but somehow it still twisted her a bit.
They were escorted to a table near the window, and just after they ordered, Mimi immediately pulled out an envelope from her bag filled with photos of her honeymoon. She started to chatter about beautiful places they'd been to—including an island with a gorgeous beach, trying traditional clothes, enjoying some Bollywood-like dances, and how inspiring the cuisines were. She did not forget to tell her about things Yamato did for her, some of them being very romantic.
Sora looked at the pictures closely. He seemed very happy, but she never thought he would go to a place as packed as India.
She imagined he would prefer a more reserved place, like a ryokan with private onsen overlooking a snowy landscape in Aomori. Or perhaps—for a more foreign option, Barcelona would be another great place as he was a man of culture. He could enjoy the buskers, probably learning some new guitar techniques, and then went to watch a soccer match from one of the best clubs in the world.
That was only when she realized Yamato was never really into sports, and Barcelona was Taichi's favourite team.
Shit.
"—and this is for you!" Mimi cut her daydream by giving a bundle of folds. They turned out to be some colourful garments with different Indian motives. "You can design new clothes with those!" She knew that Sora still created some designs to keep her dream alive.
"I'll try, thanks."
"So, how are things going?" asked Mimi excitedly, as if she left the country for months. "I can't believe Miyako hid her pregnancy! Now we know why she didn't drink any single booze back then."
"I think Ken has a good reason for it," Sora thanked the waitress who delivered their food. It was quite shocking when they found out a few days ago, nonetheless. Miyako was also in the wild club just as Daisuke and Mimi, but she was pretty aloof in the after-party—except the fact that her voice was still as thunderous as ever. Ken tried to make his wife quiet, considering it barely passed a month, but of course a person like Miyako couldn't handle good news without the whole world knowing about it. She slipped the information somehow to Daisuke and Hikari, and Daisuke, being as dumb as usual, announced it in the group.
"But they escalate things so quick! I can't imagine myself having a bump immediately after marriage."
"That reminds me; what do you want to do next?"
"Well, I was thinking of signing up for culinary school." Mimi ran an online fashion store, but she was also a tremendous cook. "Surprisingly, Yamato's all in. He was joking about how I can do a cooking show since father-in-law works on TV, but I find it interesting!"
Sora actually agreed, but it seemed like a long way to go. "How about the apartment? I'm thinking to search for a smaller place, but—"
"Keep the place. Please. I can always crash there if Yamato and I fight."
"I'm—"
"If the rent's too much, I am willing to share."
Sora smiled. Mimi came from a very wealthy family, but Sora's salary could still afford the place anyway. "What I'm trying to say is that I love the place already, so I don't really feel like moving. And you are welcome to visit anytime without actually pay."
Mimi looked pleased with the decision. As they continued to eat, Sora started to weigh her options: to tell or not to tell. After all, she felt guilty not telling her best friend what had been a dilemma lately.
She sighed. "I kissed Taichi after the party."
"Hmm." Mimi nodded, eyes still glued at her pasta.
"…I wasn't expecting that reaction."
"I wasn't expecting that it took so long for both of you to finally do that."
"Mimi," although it was far different from initial guesses, Sora instantly regretted her decision still. "It's not appropriate. We're just friends."
"Are you joking? He looks at you like you're his whole world."
"Since when?!"
"Since school—geez, Sora! I can't believe you're that insensitive!"
Sora was stunned by the statement, questioning whether it was true. How come she never noticed for a very long time?
She covered her face momentarily in shame. "He denied it."
"Are you sure, then? I mean, you were pretty drunk back then."
"No, I'm one hundred percent positive about it!" It was funny though how she could remember anything clearly after being so forgetful for the entire night.
"Then maybe he's too scared that it will ruin your friendship, which is understandable knowing both of you have known each other for the entire life," Mimi concluded. "The real question is: do you also love him?"
"Well—"
"I don't mean as friends."
Sora opened her mouth again, but then paused.
She could not tell Mimi that she probably kissed him on a whim because she would then find out that Sora was in despair due to her and Yamato's wedding.
That would be another friendship to ruin, wouldn't it?
.
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references:
(1) Dosa: traditional rice pancake.
(2) Karē (Japanese curry) was originally influenced by Indian curry and brought to Japan by the British. Japan was theoretically never been invaded by any nation in my understanding; Daisuke was just being ironic.
(3) Tebasaki: Japanese chicken wings that I'm craving :(
(4) Goukon is group dating, while omiai is a sort of matchmaking, where parents will search for a candidate for their sons/daughters to marry—especially if their children were already in the age of marriage and/or seemed uninterested to marry.
notes: 28 April 2020. (Edited on 19 February 2022)
Three chapters in four days?! Well, this is a record. I should stop writing soon, lol.
I completely forgot that I intended to write about Kenyako's pregnancy in the previous chapter, so I hope this doesn't look weird.
Thank you for reading!