VI.
starless pitch black

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When Taichi returned home on Tuesday just three days before Christmas, his apartment was empty and dark. Koushiro wrote him a message a few days ago, saying that he would return to his parents' house in Odaiba for the rest of the week, so Taichi got the whole space for himself.

On Wednesday, he didn't even plan to get up from his bed due to jet lags and the sore. His supervisor allowed the returning Africa team to take day-offs until Monday, so he didn't need to go for work. However, his phone didn't stop ringing in the afternoon, and when he found out that it was his mother who actually called, he had no choice but to pick up. "Yea—"

"HIKARI HAS A BOYFRIEND!"

Thank God he immediately pulled his phone away right when his mother started yelling excitedly. "Kaasan, calm down," Taichi grunted. "Why—"

"She has a boyfriend! She finally has a boyfriend again!" his mother continued as if she couldn't care less. "I really thought she had already lost hope after Takeru-kun—I mean, she might seem to be okay and not saying much about it, but she's my daughter, and I know the breakup hurt her so deeply. But look at her now, oh thank God!"

Taichi sighed. "Alright, alright. She got herself a new boyfriend. I understand," he acclaimed without the same spirit. He had to admit that he was very strict about everything related to his little sister a long time ago. However, as they both grew up, he realised he could no longer intervene with Hikari's life too often. That was why it was not really his business whether Hikari had found another love of her life—except if things went south, which hopefully wouldn't. "Have you met this chap, though?"

"No, but I managed to persuade her to bring him over for Christmas dinner. She didn't even want to reveal her boyfriend's name, though—that shy little girl." Taichi never ceased to be amazed by his little sister's patience. He could imagine their mother's extra effort to pester her. "By the way, don't forget to come, honey. It's rude of you not to see your parents after going away for months—"

"And now you finally remember your son was on a business trip!" Taichi exclaimed sarcastically. "Thank you so much, Kaasan!"

"—and oh, you should bring a date too."

He frowned. "Why do I have to bring a date anyway?"

"Because it'll be weird if you come alone now that Hikari has a boyfriend!"

"It's not weird! We also did this when Hikari brought Takeru home for Christmas dinner, remember?"

"But you said you've been going on goukon! Where's the result in that?" his mother cut in pretty quick this time. "Remember we have an agreement? You'll find your own girl through blind dates, and I won't sign you up for omiai. If you're not going to bring someone, I'll make a phone call right after this, and maybe there's someone who can clear her schedule up for Christmas—"

"Okay, okay! I'll bring someone!" Taichi finally gave up—his voice raised in annoyance. "Don't make that goddamn phone call!"

"That's more like it." His mother sounded content despite the fact that her son just threw a curse. She had gradually stopped judging his choice of words after Taichi passed his rebellious teenage stage anyway, knowing that it was the same mouth that could potentially bring world peace in the future with his diplomatic occupation. "Get some rest, sweetheart. I love you."

His mother immediately dismissed the phone without giving him any chance to provide a closing remark. Taichi slammed his cellphone to the pillow, groaning in frustration as he ruffled his already-dishevelled hair. He instantly regretted his decision to tell her about him joining some goukon—yet again, he needed to tell her because it was his strategy to avoid her omiai plan.

Sometimes he forgot how he could bear his pushy mother his entire life. She was definitely one of the reasons why he decided to move out of the house; the more he grew up, the more she treated him like a child somehow.

Unwillingly, he picked up his phone again to look at the contacts. Indeed, he went on some dates, but his mother always forgot that dates did not always work like magic. Often it took time, even when the name was 'speed dating.' Sometimes, it ended up for someone meeting a new friend instead of meeting a lover.

For Taichi, however, he didn't particularly get a lover nor friends—at least not close enough for him to ask for this kind of favour comfortably. There was another girl's name he found on the list, though, which he knew would be a perfect choice. The fact that she picked up the call only after the second ring showed how reliable she was.

"Taichi?" she asked. Her voice was kind of hasty; a sign that she was probably in the middle of her ever-busy job. "What time is this?"

"Uh… two in the afternoon?"

"Two in—wait, where are you?"

"Japan? On my bed?"

"You're already home?"

"Wait, you think I'm still in Africa?" Taichi sighed. "Sora. I told you I was going to return on the twenty-second of December."

"Today's twenty-second already?!"

She could be the most reliable person ever, yet she often forgot to keep track of the calendar when things got pretty busy. Sometimes he wondered if Sora ever missed a deadline at work just because she thought of a Tuesday as a Thursday.

"No, it's actually the twenty-third. And I hope you didn't buy the wrong ticket home. Should be on the twenty-sixth, right?" Sora rarely took leave of absences from her work. Instead, she always kept it for year-end, when she would hop on the train back to her parents' home in Kyoto right after Christmas day and stay there until the end of the new year's holiday. "Does that mean you're free on the night of twenty-fifth?"

"Depends. If I finish everything these two days—which I hope so—I can probably get out of the office on time on Christmas," she said. "What's going on, Taichi?"

"Well. Remember the long list of places we should try after I return?" Taichi dragged his tone, feeling half-guilty with his intro that sounded way too nice for a harsher reality. "I would reaaally love to treat you for dinner in one of them. However, The Mother has spoken. She wants me for Christmas dinner and she wants me to bring someone."

"…you mean like a date?"

"Don't take it too gravely, Sora. It's because Hikari will bring her new boyfriend, so my mother thinks it's only appropriate for me to have someone as a company."

There was a pause where Taichi could only hear the background noises of Sora's office. He even had to confirm that she was still there. "Sora?"

"Right." Sora finally replied. "Is it okay for me to come…? I mean, you should bring the girls you've met from goukon."

"Sora. I was busy handling tribal wars and political conflicts for two months. What makes you think I could even keep in touch with them when I could barely even keep up with our group chat?" he chuckled, still with a sarcastic note. "Don't worry. We've known you for a long time already. My mother will love to see you again. Besides, remember this is going to be our last time seeing each other this year before you depart for Kyoto."

She gave another pause, probably considering.

"Also, you just have to be there to stop me from killing Hikari's boyfriend if he turns out to be a jerk."

She finally cracked up, and he couldn't help but giggle also. They hung up after Sora agreed to accompany him for the dinner.

They set up to meet each other on December 25th afterwork at Hinode Station to avoid the Shibuya crowds. Taichi arrived first, but he didn't have to wait long because Sora showed up five minutes later. Still, at the sight of Taichi waiting, she hurried and apologised the moment she reached him. Taichi almost forgot to respond because he realised Sora did actually make an effort with her appearance, while he looked like a regular salaryman heading home after another day at the office.

"What?" she asked, realising he was staring. She did put a blush-on on her cheeks, but he had a feeling she would still be red at this moment even without makeup. "Is it the dress? I got it from our client. This is the only dress I left in my locker." Sora actually wore a winter coat, but it didn't conceal the long dress she put on inside. It was black with pink rose prints all over and silver dangles on both her ears.

"No. You look spot on," he said. She never wanted to admit it, but she always had a good sense of fashion even before working on a fashion magazine. The job only gave a little refinement to her already-superb taste. "I just think my mother will definitely nag at me because you come like a royal and I'm like a peasant."

Sora slapped him playfully on the shoulder. Along the way to Odaiba, she helped him tidy up a little, including his infamous hair. She kept asking if it was okay for her only to bring a yule log and not a main course, but Taichi had told her so many times that she wouldn't need to bother. His mother had finally realised the only thing she could cook properly was tamagoyaki, so she always made sure not to miss the KFC booking every year.

It was his mother Yuuko who opened the door when they reached the apartment. "Sora!" Her eyes lit up after finding out who was coming. "Oh, good heavens! I know you guys have known each other since forever, and I'm so glad to watch childhood friends turn into lovers!"

Although she tried her best to maintain a smile, it was clear that Sora was absolutely gobsmacked. Taichi was expecting this kind of embarrassing comment, but he didn't think he would get it even before they stepped inside.

"We're not lovers," Taichi spelled it out loud.

"But you said you would bring a date."

"I said I'm going to bring someone, not particularly a date," Taichi huffed. "Okaasan, stop it. You made Sora uncomfortable."

"Long time no see, Obasan," Sora finally took her chance to speak, sounding a bit nervous. "I am very sorry to interrupt your dinner."

"No, Sora dear—I'm sorry. You're always welcomed here, of course. I'm just appalled that this guy outsmarted me," Yuuko gave him a glare. "Can you believe it? Hikari is going to bring the second guy for Christmas, and Taichi's number is still zero? Don't you have a lovely girlfriend that you can introduce to him, Sora?"

Taichi rolled his eyes. He dated some girls in the past, but he never thought of bringing them home because it would be way too much of a hurdle. Even an epitome of soulmates like Hikari and Takeru could still break up after Hikari brought Takeru for Christmas dinner. Knowing his mother's antique, he was sure that Yuuko would put his girlfriend on a pedestal before suddenly changing her profession to a wedding organiser by proposing some great venues around the city. The thought of it was petrifying enough to make him stand firm with his decision.

"Oh, I should go change. The guest is here and I'm still wearing my apron!" Yuuko apologised once again as she had to excuse herself back to the room. This allowed Taichi and Sora to finally enter the apartment, where Taichi quickly removed his shoes so he could assist Sora with her coat. After putting their outers in the stand, he turned back to Sora, who just neatly stored her boots where they should be. With her eyes glued at the shoe rack, she seemed pretty dazed.

"Sora, come on," Taichi called, and she gasped as a response which made him feel guilty. "Look. I'm sorry if my mother offended you. You're my guest, and she shouldn't say such obtrusive things."

"No, no. I understand," Sora forced a laugh. It was clear to him that she was still uncomfortable, but somehow her laughter just now sounded more like she was nervous. "Taichi, I—"

She wasn't able to finish because his father, Susumu, popped out of the living room and greeted both of them. He escorted them to the dining table, where they found two buckets of KFC as expected, served with a salad bowl, a plate of tamagoyaki, and one pan of potato gratin—which he identified as Hikari's signature Christmas dish after she received the recipe from Takeru's French grandparents.

Speaking of the angel, "Where's Hikari?"

"Eh? I thought you guys met her on the elevator. She went down just now to pick up his boyfriend," Susumu explained. He looked like he wanted to extend the conversation, but then Yuuko called him because she had problems with the heater. Before Susumu left, he urged them to sit at the dining table, which Taichi and Sora obeyed.

"Isn't it weird that Hikari's the one who picked up her boyfriend?" Taichi chirped, half-musing.

"It's his first time coming here. He might get lost."

"But that's what maps are for."

"Taichi, you're getting petty."

"I'm not," Taichi scowled, although he slowly realised that maybe he was. So much for saying that he no longer wanted to pry on Hikari's personal life. "What kind of guy do you think Hikari will bring anyway?"

"Hmm. I think he'll be similar to Takeru. Maybe a fellow from the daycare she interned?"

"Ew. Another soft boy?"

"That's rude, Jock. So you'd rather have someone like Daisuke?"

"Nah. Where's the surprise in that?"

They didn't have to question any further because the answer was announcing its arrival with a bell ring. Her mother practically jumped out of her room as the sound echoed in the whole apartment.

"They're here!" she exclaimed happily, and even though they couldn't really watch her from the dining table, they knew she was rushing because of the tapping noises from the corridor, followed by a creak of a door and a very surprised, "Oh!"

"Why does she sound so amazed? Is he far better good-looking than Takeru?" Taichi frowned, trying to listen to the indistinct chatter from the entryway. At that moment, Taichi saw his father exited the master bedroom too and reflectively turned his head to the main door, which was more within his sight. Surprisingly, Susumu also gave the exact same reaction as Yuuko.

However, Taichi was the one who lost all the colour in her face once Hikari showed up on the dining table along with her new boyfriend.

"…Oniichan."

Hikari greeted him quite calmly, yet somehow it sounded like a declaration of war.

Beside her, a guy with a familiar face kept the formality and bowed himself deep. "Good evening, Sora-san… Taichi… san."

"What the fuck?" Taichi spat loudly. The colours returned to his face, but it was all red from a burning rage. "I was only away for two months, and this happened without me knowing any single damn thing?"

"Taichi—"

"Sora," he interrupted, roughly turning himself to her. "Did you know about this already?"

"Taichi, you need to calm down—"

"How can you expect me to calm down?!" His toned raised so high, but it was a hard slam from his palm that made the table shake. "My sister is dating my housemate and I don't know anything about this at all!"

"Taichi, Sora's right. You need to calm down," Susumu tried to be as neutral as possible with his role as the head of the family. "Let's start eating, shall we? The food's getting cold and I'm starving already."

Yuuko also helped to break the tension by escorting the newly-arrived couple to their seats right in front of Taichi and Sora, but she deliberately nudged Hikari to take the chair that directly faced Taichi. Maybe it was a precaution so that Taichi wouldn't strangle anyone to death tonight. However, he actually didn't have the will to kill as he joked a few days ago with Sora. The feeling was more towards betrayed.

Hikari and Koushiro together was something he never expected even once, and now that it happened without him knowing in advance, he couldn't seem to comprehend.

With Susumu and Yuuko sitting on each end, they started to dig into the meal. Despite everything that just happened, Yuuko couldn't hide her excitement because it didn't take long for her to finally popped up some questions. "Say, Koushiro-kun! Tell me how you end up with Hikari, will you?"

"Oh," Koushiro laughed nervously, but everyone knew what really made him nervous. "I, uh… it actually started from Mimi-san and Yamato-san's wedding. We were assigned together as bridesmaid and groomsman."

"Oh, I remember! You guys were walking together in front of the line, right? How sweet!" Yuuko pointed out, and the memory finally returned to Taichi's mind. He too was a groomsman with Miyako as the bridesmaid beside him. If the memory was painted correctly in his head, the order was Koushiro and Hikari, Jyou and Mimi's cousin, Taichi and Miyako (Mimi put Taichi as the last groomsman even though Jyou is slightly taller than him because his hair was 'unaesthetically big'), before switching to Sora and Takeru as the maid of honour and best man.

Finding out that the scene was once exactly a few inches before him felt like a massive pile of salt was thrown into his wound.

"That long, huh?" Taichi sneered after munching only his second bite for the night. "That long, and it never crossed your mind, not even once, to tell me you're hitting on my sister, eh Koushiro?"

Hikari seemed fed up with all of this that she finally spoke up. "I'm the one who told him not to say things to you."

"But why?!"

"Because I know you'll overreact like this," Hikari was obviously trying her best to keep her temper, considering the respect she put highly on him. "I'm not a child anymore, Oniichan. I don't need your permission to date anyone and deserve some privacy when it comes to my own relationship."

"But I deserve some information if you are dating my housemate—and vice versa for you too when you start dating my sister, Koushiro," Taichi wouldn't give up that easily. He was trained to be a diplomat after all, although he was the one who should bring peace instead of confrontation. "You think like you'll keep this backstreet from me forever? Smuggling a date in the apartment's kitchen every time I go to work? And then what? You'd expect me to find out everything about this first from one of our friends?!"

"Oniichan—"

"Taichi-san."

It was Koushiro's turn to intervene. His voice was firmer and you could barely hear him tremble anymore.

"I sincerely apologise if what we did offend you," he prompted. "But I understand that Hikari is a very important person for you, and you are also an important friend for me. The last thing I want is to disappoint both of you, so I have to make sure of my own feelings before actually telling you all of this. The fact that that I'm here today in front of you means that I have come to a conclusion that Hikari-san is a wonderful person, and I am reinstating my seriousness in this relationship just as serious as when I first committed myself to it."

The dining table went silent. Everyone was staring at Koushiro, including Taichi with his eyes still looking sharply. When he first met Koushiro, that little boy hated attention and would not be able to stand looking straight at someone's eyes for a long time. Now, he didn't even faze—as if both of them had a staring contest—and Taichi was unable to inspect a slight doubt in his face. The fact that Koushiro could also articulate his words clearly was proof that he had grown to become a fine, proper man. Although for Taichi, it was obvious Koushiro attended too many business meetings, because he talked like he was having a presentation on 'Reasons to Give Your Blessings to Your Best Friend and Your Sister's Relationship' with Taichi as his potential client to convince.

"Come on, boys. Stop this nonsense." Yuuko finally took advantage of the silence and jumped in. "This is a Christmas dinner. Don't be so tense."

His pride did not want him to just give in, but he realised he had been such a spoilsport, and it was very disrespectful to his mother who enthusiastically arranged this dinner. Taichi took a deep breath before shifting his attention back to his food. Everyone could tell he was not pleased and trying his best to hold back, but Susumu—being a supportive husband—managed to redirect the conversation to another topic.

The rest of the evening went quite hostile because Taichi pulled himself away from the group and kept his mouth shut. The new couple didn't have time to reach him because the parents were busy meddling with them and Sora. It wasn't until Yuuko opened a bottle of wine and poured each person a glass of it; Taichi chugged the drink all at once until his glass was empty and finally said, "I should take Sora home."

Yuuko was fast to challenge, even adding a bit of sarcasm. "What do you mean? Sora is obviously enjoying herself here. Let her stay for the drink."

"She will go to see her parents in Kyoto tomorrow," Taichi said. "She hasn't packed and definitely need some rest because it's going to be very early in the morning."

It was a lousy excuse. Yuuko knew it because Kyoto was only two hours away with bullet train, and even Taichi himself knew it because Sora never really packed every time she went home, considering she got some stuff anyway in her parents' house. He found her gaze at that moment, and he figured two meanings in her eyes; one of them being 'I'm okay to stay a little longer' and another being 'you should stay too.'

However, he only wanted her to understand one thing: 'I want to get away from this.'

Sora once again proved to be the best friend he could ever ask. She took a tiny sip and placed the glass on the table before standing up. "Taichi's right. I'm so sorry Obasan, but I have to go."

Of course Yuuko was disappointed and she tried so hard to persuade Sora to stay. Amid that small commotion, Taichi accidentally caught a glance of Koushiro, where he also stared back before finally standing up and approaching him.

"Taichi-san," Koushiro started. "I'm really sorry—"

"Save it," he said. "If you're that desperate for a talk, I can return here after I walk Sora home. There's also next week, you know. Because if I remember correctly, we live in the same apartment."

Koushiro's face turned bleak, and Taichi wasn't even sure how far he could go on with his own word. Fortunately, Sora came to Taichi's side and immediately touched his arms—a signal that they should go before things got ugly.

They finally excused themselves after wearing their coats, and the walk was unexpectedly silent. She even placed herself a few steps behind as if she wanted to give him some space. However, it was him who abruptly stopped midway, forcing her also to halt her legs.

And then he asked, "Do you mind if we drop by the beach first?"

That was how they ended up standing above the sands, facing the waterbed and the majestic Rainbow Bridge. As someone who grew up in Odaiba, he often forgot that such a place existed because he never considered this place as a beach. It was more of a manmade promenade, and you could never swim there anyway, so it was not particularly an appealing spot. It became one, however, after Taichi caught the name on the signboard they passed a few minutes earlier and realised no one could bother them because people rarely visited this place during a cold winter night, especially in a holiday.

Sora was the one who couldn't bear the silence. "The shoes I found on your apartment that day was on the rack."

"I know." That was why he said things about smuggling a date back then. He had a hunch that Sora was zoning out not because of the continuous meddle from his mother.

She sighed. "Well," a clear on her throat. "You're asking where's the surprise. I guess this is beyond what we can all imagine."

When he finally turned to face her, she was hugging herself while stroking the sides of her arm. He didn't know if she was conscious of her gesture or not, but the guilt immediately started creeping in. Maybe he really shouldn't bring her here in the first place. Luckily, he remembered the souvenir he should have given to Sora, so he pulled it out of his sling bag and spread the fabric open before putting it over her shoulder. She looked at its traditional pattern, whispering thanks for both the souvenir and his caring gesture.

"Sorry," he spoke at last. "I just… well." It was his turn to clear his throat. "I never really think the chance of them getting together. It's weird."

"Nevertheless, Koushiro is a good man, right?"

"He is. Damn, he's a very good man. It's hard to say anything bad about him," Taichi huffed. "And probably that's what makes him an ideal partner for Hikari, because she deserves nothing but the best in the whole world." For Taichi, Hikari had always been the perfect little sister, and Koushiro was a courteous boy genius—another epitome of an impeccable human being—whom he befriended with ever since they met each other in the neighbourhood park.

"Back when we were still in high school, I often got asked that kind of question. You know, 'how would it be if one of your friends ends up dating your sister?'" he continued. Hikari had always been some sort of prima donna in his football club anyway. "I always said that I'm going to kick his asses and he will never get my blessing because I knew the question itself was a joke. I never really think about it seriously, and when it actually happens, I'm… not prepared."

"But I guess that's how love works," Sora said. "One day, you are a stranger to one another, but then the attraction comes in full force. Sometimes, it's not even about two strangers; it can be that you've already known the person your whole life. Like the kid who lives in your neighbourhood, or your best friend from school…"

Her voice was trailing off, so he turned around to check her once again, only to find the red started creeping her cheeks.

"Sora, are you okay?" he asked, genuinely worried. "Is it too cold for you? Should we head home now?" As far as he could remember, she didn't get to drink too much because he immediately dragged her away, so it was more likely due to the chilly weather instead of the warmth from the wine.

"Taichi…" Her voice trembled as she pulled the fabric tighter to her chest, proving his current hypothesis right. "Do you love me?"

Or maybe not.

Just when he thought that thing couldn't get more surprising, Sora dropped the most unexpected bomb in the form of a simple four-word question. It was as if someone pressed the pause button because the time seemed to freeze the moment she finished talking. They stood unfazed as their gazes were glued to one another. The distant traffic was on mute; the wind and the sea current were no longer audible. The lights on the bridge stopped blinking in colours, so did his heart that felt like it stopped beating for a split second before racing ever too quickly.

"Sora." He opened up the possibility of her being intoxicated. "What makes you say that?"

"Please, Taichi. Just be honest with me."

He could barely say anything after hearing the word honest. If her four-word question before had the ability to pause the moment, that one word was powerful enough to press the rewind and fast-forward altogether in his mind.

As a human being, Taichi acknowledged he had so many poor qualities. He was too loud and reckless, not to mention that he was a slouch. He believed that everyone would also agree to name these as his weaknesses, but they might be surprised if he told them that he was also a dishonest person. Little did everyone knew that he grew up to be a good liar. The first time he lied was when Hikari wetted her bed, and he told their parents that it was him. Afterwards, he started straying from the truth more and more: running away after smashing a window with his ball, pretending he was sick when he forgot his homework, faking a pain after a tackle just so that he could obtain a penalty kick. The list went on, and maybe that was why the old wisdom said that one shouldn't lie at the beginning: because they would never stop to do so.

His biggest lie, however, was to himself—his own heart.

He remembered the first day of training where he met her, the only girl who signed up for the football team. While his other teammates talked about how weird it was for a lady to play football, Taichi was charmed. He adored how Sora passionately chased the ball; how her auburn hair danced with the wind when she ran. Her spirit could even crush those boys who claimed to be more superior. When the coach paired them together, their movements were in perfect sync—a threat for all opponents. It was as if Taichi found himself a best mate.

A soulmate.

He learned about the phrase when he grew older and instantly thought of her the moment he heard it. He finally realised that his feeling was stronger than he ever thought, and his passion for her introduced him to other types of emotions. Disappointment, when she said she would leave the football club for a tennis tryout because he was already too comfortable with her as the golden match. Jealous, as she told him she might have a feeling towards his own friend. Helpless, when he found out that Sora and Yamato had been going out. A little relief, when she came to him crying because she broke up with Yamato.

In that particular moment, of course, there was a little voice inside his heart saying this should be his chance. However, such whisper only resulted in more conflicting feelings. He felt like a cruel person for thinking about taking advantage of his friends' situation. At the same time, the friendship between him and Sora had evolved into such a powerful bond. Taichi was very afraid that his feeling would disturb the relationship they already had, and the last thing he wanted was for her to disappear from his life. That was why he decided to conceal and hide his feelings away.

He took a deep breath before finally said, "I did."

Her eyes dilated when she heard his answer.

"…did?" she emphasised the past tense. "B, but… we kissed on the wedding day, right?"

It was ironic how she mentioned that incident because that was when the table turned for him. Falling out of love was a foreign concept for Taichi. He dated some girls back then, but he wasn't sure if love was the foundation of these relationships, so it didn't seem equal to fall out of love when they decided to end things. With Sora, he had known that his feelings were love for a long time.

But maybe that was the keyword: long time.

It had been a very long time indeed since he had kept those ardent feelings without telling anyone including Sora herself. With the same cowardly basis, he also made the decision to stay as friends. At one point, it was that decision that slowly turned special things into ordinary. The butterflies in his stomach gradually stopped dancing every time he saw her walking towards him. The slight friction between their skins no longer caused a heat of excitement on his cheeks. The regular bar hopping agenda was still something he happily waited for at the end of the day, but he came to the realisation that it was just a routine between two good friends and not something as romantic as a candlelight dinner.

When she hastily kissed him that night, the spark was too faint for him to notice.

For that reason, he could firmly tell her, "The kiss meant nothing."

Sora didn't say anything back. Instead, she took a few steps forward until the only thing left between them was the thin cold air. She then put her hands on the back of his neck and lowered his head so that she could reach him for a kiss. It wasn't sloppy like the last time, but there was a sense of vulnerability that lingered on his lips. And when they pulled away, he never saw a gaze ever so tender.

"Does that mean nothing for you then?"

Taichi fell silent for the millionth time tonight, but this time, Sora actually took the opportunity to grab his hand and lead him to a train from the nearest station. He was still spaced out as the ride was getting further away from Odaiba before it stopped somewhere. Not for a second did Sora let go of their grip, and Taichi could feel her hand getting warmer and warmer, until at one point, it might burn a spot somewhere inside his palm.

That was when he noticed they were already across the bay and transferring to the other subway line—the line that bounded for Aoyama.

He held his breath as he finally realised this was no longer about him taking her home. This was her taking him to her home, literally and figuratively.

The carriage in front of their platform was extremely overpopulated—a combination of Christmas, rush hour, foreign tourists spending the year-end holidays, and the fact that this route was always busy. Nevertheless, Sora wasted no time waiting for another train. They didn't manage to squeeze themselves further, so they had to stand behind the entrance. Using the remaining common sense, Taichi shifted their body so she leaned against the door with him as the barrier to protect her from the crowds inside.

He could see her face blushed deeply after his little chivalrous act, but with their body pressed against one another, it was hard not to think that she might translate this gesture as something else.

There was no other choice but to stare at each other at an extraordinarily close distance in this position. Taichi could see the mirror of himself in her bright brown eyes, yet even in such a tiny circle, he could catch his own reflection talking to him.

Will you keep living yourself in a lie, he asked, or will you be honest with your feelings just once and stop making the same mistake?

This trip should be short from the start since it only took four stations from the transfer, but it was too short to get enough time to think. The next stop was their destination, and he had to make a decision.

.

.

(As soon as the train stopped and the door opened, Sora took a step outside. However, with their hands still adjoined, she couldn't get herself to move further.

"…Taichi?"

She asked confusedly, only to gasp when she turned her back and learned the truth.

He didn't alight the train.

"I'm so sorry, Sora."

A crowd of passengers swarmed in and out of the train. At that exact moment, Taichi decided to finally release their hold. She tried to reach him back, but the door snapped close and the train quickly escaped the platform—leaving her in the pitch black of the night without any stars to guide her on what was happening.)

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reference:

(1) I know it has been a long time since I've updated this, so I just want to refresh your mind that goukon is group dating and omiai is matchmaking.

(2) Christmas in Japan is not a public holiday, so people are still working on December 25th (but they have a long holiday in the new year). And KFC is a vital tradition for a Japanese Christmas celebration. People really have to pre-order some KFC meals because it's that popular. You can Google about this—it's pretty interesting.

(3) Just want to make it clear that Odaiba is an artificial island located in Tokyo Bay. The Rainbow Bridge is the bridge that connects Odaiba with Tokyo/Japan mainland. I hope you will get a chance to visit. It's such a lovely place for Digimon fans! :)

notes: 7 August 2021. (Edited on 19 February 2022)

Yes, it has been a year, I'm so sorry! So many things happened and I can only update this now. The ultimate reason why I was struggling is because this chapter should be written in Sora's point of view. However, I kept facing some dead-ends so I decided to switch to Taichi instead—and bang! Somehow it was easier for me to write this up, but I know I have to explain from Sora's point of view anyway in the next chapter. Also, because the number of dialogues is pretty dreadful, this might be a bit boring. Nonetheless, it was supposed to be a chapter filled with silence, so I tried my best to push the descriptions.

Sorry if you think Yuuko's too pushy. I know some moms—especially Asian moms lmao—who did this. But personally, I think Taichi's also a jerk knowing that he had no feelings for Sora yet still giving mixed signals :( Also, Taichi is being Taichi, eh? Cannot let go of that siscomp easily.

Some of you might think that falling out of love with a person you spend almost every day with seems impossible. But I did that once and I still haven't figured it out why. Maybe that's why the human heart is a very complicated thing indeed.

Apologies for the sudden change from American English to British English lmao. As you know, I stayed in Melbourne last year to study (I'm back in my home country now tho) and the uni wanted us to write in British English, so I had to adjust myself and… well, here I am.

Thank you for staying this far! I hope the next chapter will come out soon and stay safe as always! (PS: How many of you can figure out Koushiro's girlfriend? ;D)