VII.
blue hour
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Her parents' house was located on the outskirts of Kyoto, undisturbed by the hustling crowd of tourists. It was a one-story building styled in traditional Japanese, including tatami mat, sliding doors, and wooden verandas across the four cardinal points. The eastern veranda served as a partition between Sora's bedroom and the garden, and that was where Sora spent most of her time already now.
The garden adjacent to her bedroom was not the best garden in the house. It couldn't be compared to the entry garden where her father's fish pond perched, or the carefully-designed west wing since it was the place her mother usually nested as she worked with her flower arrangements. There was no cherry tree as the centrepiece, only a tiny bed of nasturtium that barely survived the winter. The only reason why the garden won against the backyard was the absence of hanging laundries. Other than that, it was practically an empty space, yet staring at it was usually enough to help Sora clear her mind.
It had been a couple of days, however, since she began to start sitting idyllically without being able to find her Zen.
The memory of last Christmas remained too vivid in her mind. It was hard to comprehend her audacity to confess in the middle of his gripe, leading to another impetuous kiss. What a fool, she thought of herself. How dare she could think Taichi would reciprocate her feelings that instant. And to make it worse, both the confession and the kiss were not the worst part. It was when she led him to her apartment; the stare they exchanged when their body pressed to each other at the train, which she translated as his mutual, longing desire for her—only to end up walking home by herself after being left alone at the station.
Pathetic, wasn't it? He must have thought of her as a cheap woman.
It wasn't like she didn't try to find a distraction. She put an effort to help her mother with the flowers, even took a small hike with her father. But even her parents knew something bugged her, and when they asked about it, of course Sora preferred to swallow everything and say she was fine.
So much for a holiday.
Sora returned to Tokyo with an unresolved perturbance. She thought about contacting Taichi, but the embarrassment was too much for her to bear. To make it more complicated, Taichi too didn't reach her at all ever since Christmas. Her courage this time only led her to show up in their group chat, desperately hoping that he would respond to any of her messages. There was one time she made an attempt to reply to his chat on the group, but he didn't prolong the conversation. That was enough proof for her—and for overly-sensitive Mimi, who immediately called asking why Taichi seemed so cold.
Sobbing, she had no choice but to tell Mimi everything. At that moment too, Sora finally realised it was her first time crying over this problem after bottling it up for more than a week.
Mimi listened to her ramblings, actually waiting until Sora managed to control her tears. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart," she then said. "But don't you think you should give him some space? There's so much going on, and maybe he just needs some time to think. And it would be best if you too found yourself some diversion. Don't bother about this too much."
"Well, Meems," Sora huffed, laughing dryly even though her cheeks were still wet. "It's not like I haven't tried."
"Come on. Just pretend he's on a business trip to Africa—or Antarctica, I don't care. You survived two months without him."
Not without a message or a phone call, she would like to point out before deciding to hold her tongue.
"This won't last long, Sora. Don't worry."
Still, it was easier said than done. She utilised most of her free time to recheck any incoming messages on her phone. At the same time, Taichi appeared less frequent on their group chat. Being an overthinker, it was her natural habit to create unproven, self-torturing assumptions; in this case, of course, Sora assumed that his absence was due to her presence. Maybe if it weren't because Taichi being so kind, he would already left the group.
The real distraction only came a week later. Her boss finally set the kick-off meeting for the annual Spring Special Edition, also known as the busiest time of the year since it was Casie's most significant project. They usually settled with a theme to help them formulate the content of their magazine, which will be made thicker than usual.
Himekawa-san quickly blurted it out the second they started the meeting. "We're going back to our roots."
Not giving any chance for her subordinates to raise their eyebrows, she then continued. "We will present traditional Japanese fashion, but with a new twist. I'm talking about eclectic haoris, kimonos on Paris Fashion Week's level. And that's why for this year's edition, we will work with the best one in the business: Shironeri."
The second she heard it, Sora stopped writing as her hand froze along with her whole body.
She tried her best to keep up with the meeting, but her mind kept repeating the name of her dream company. Sora started contemplating a way to attract Shironeri, and it became too much of a thought at one point because the meeting came to an end without her realising. She was the last person to get up from her seat, the last to reach the exit.
"Takenouchi."
She didn't make it through, however.
"Shut the door, please," Himekawa-san said without averting her gaze from the documents above the table. Sora obeyed, turning to face her boss afterwards in agonising silence. Did she get caught daydreaming earlier?
To her surprise, Himekawa-san then asked, "You want that Shironeri gig, right?"
It took some nerves for her to answer.
"Y, yes!"
Himekawa-san paused for a sigh. "As an employer, it would be mad to let go such an exemplary person like you," she went on. "But as your manager, I want to see you thrive and successful, even if that means I have to lose you—so here's what you're going to do."
The lady finally raised her head, eyeing Sora with all seriousness.
"Do this project with all you might. Don't you dare let your focus run around like you did at the meeting earlier."
Sora tried not to grimace.
"In parallel, prepare two or three kimonos and make sure they are your avant-gardes. If you perform outstandingly, then I will have a talk with Shironeri by the end of the project so that they can look at your designs."
.
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Her father once said, "Treat every chance like it's your only shot. You'll never know if it's an opportunity that comes once in a lifetime."
The same reason encouraged him to take the job offer in Kyoto a few years ago, even though that also meant he had to leave his wife and his only daughter. But in the end, Haruhiko Takenouchi managed to show her that hard work betrays none. All the efforts and sacrifices led them to live a better life, where her father was now renowned as one of the best Japanese lecturers in his area of study, plus he could reunite with his family under a new shelter they called home.
The moment she stepped out of the meeting room, Sora knew that this was it. There was no chance to blow it off; she had to succeed, not only for herself but also for Himekawa-san who allowed her to soar. Her boss was always tough from day one, but indeed it was for Sora's own good. As far as a thank you could go, the best way to show Himekawa-san how grateful she was for all of her mentorships was not letting her down and proving that she trusted the right person.
Sora then began to work harder than ever before, even though her usual standards were already quite high. It was amazing how such a strong motivation could take someone beyond the limits that previously seemed so unreachable. At day, she would invest her focus to taking care of the project, even willing to touch on the clerical things that seemed trivial for some people. At night, she would squeeze her bedtime to just two or three hours, working on her best kimono yet for her portfolio.
She barely had time for herself as a result, let alone for her friends. Fortunately, her circles were also in their busiest period; Mimi could only organise their usual get-together in late February. When she called her about this, Sora was ready to reject the invitation flat out, which of course made Mimi infuriated.
"Oh, don't you dare skip out, young lady," she warned with a hiss. "We are celebrating the graduation of our dear Hikari. How could you not be showing up? Even Jyou-senpai clears his schedule for this!"
"Trust me, Mimi, I would love to come," Sora defended. "But you know I can't."
"It's because of her big brother, isn't it?"
"No." Her tone was quite firm. She could proudly say that the thoughts of him didn't bug her any longer, thanks to his absence on group chat and the project that did a good job of distracting her. "Meems, I can't blow this off. This is Shironeri we're talking about."
"And this is our friendship we're talking about. Shironeri isn't going anywhere, for God's sake. I only ask for two hours of your time! Is it that bad to spend some time with us? You know you deserve a break too, Sora."
Sora sighed in defeat. She hated how Mimi could always find her way to bite back.
"Fine. I'll manage."
To be frank, she didn't really listen to Mimi's rambling afterwards since she had to juggle between the call and her work. She remembered hearing a squeal of joy before Mimi chattered happily about all the dishes she had already planned. That was why when the day of the gathering came, she was utterly confused because Mimi greeted her with an upset face.
"Hey, Meems," Sora frowned faintly, still standing in front of the door. "Is there something wrong?"
"Sora." Mimi's voice quivered, making Sora nervous at an instance. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry—"
"Mimi."
Yamato was standing far back, but his voice was as stern as his expression. Mimi then glanced at Sora once again, only to leave her at the door for the kitchen without any explanation. Indeed, Sora was taken aback by her reaction, so she quickly approached Yamato after taking off her shoes. "What's happening?"
"She eavesdropped something she shouldn't hear earlier," Yamato huffed. "But I might as well blame myself. I forgot it's hard to keep a secret once you're married."
"Yamato, for God's sake, what are you—"
"It's not about me, Sora. Nor her."
He gave that face again; the enigmatic expression from his wedding night that Sora could never decode the meaning. When Sora looked into his cerulean eyes, she thought she found a hint of melancholy there, but her observation was disturbed by the doorbell which Yamato immediately turned his head into.
Mimi was faster to reach for the door, and when she found Taichi with his big hair and charming grin, she pulled him into a tight hug. Taichi was still with his goofy demeanour ("Oi, oi, what's up, Meems?"), but the usually loud Mimi buried her face silently in his chest. Sora became more and more confused, and with Yamato leaving her for those two, her inquiry was hanging without an answer.
Miyako then called her; a perfect timing, because she almost met his eyes from over Yamato's shoulder. Sora kept herself busy by talking to everyone except Taichi, and while it was seemingly impossible to avoid a person who was practically in the same room, she managed to cling onto Jyou and Iori, munching the sliders and sipping the orange juice.
With Takeru beyond the reckoning, Daisuke was the last one to show himself, saying that he had a business to take care of. He shamelessly pleaded to start the dinner right away because his tummy had grumbled so hard already and the smell from the dining table was too enticing. Yamato took the authority as the host, nudging Daisuke to first regroup in the living room. His face was dead serious that Daisuke turned reticent like a frightened junior.
Somehow, she had a hunch that it wasn't Daisuke's manner that triggered his expression.
"Thanks for coming, everyone. It's been a long time," Yamato greeted with his usual composure. "Congratulations on your graduation, Hikari. You did well."
Proud claps echoed around the young lady in the limelight. Hikari humbly beamed at the shower of appreciation she received, whispering thanks to all the attendees. Standing beside her was Koushiro, and although he didn't join the round of ovation, his arm was embracing her tight and proud.
Things were going pretty fine for the couple; after the Christmas gathering, they decided to announce their relationship to the circle, which resulted in an uproar considering how out of the blue it was. Mimi and Daisuke were screeching. Miyako started questioning her friendship with Hikari considering she knew nothing about this. Oddly, Takeru's reaction was one of the mildest; a congratulation on the following day, using time zone differences as an excuse. After that, it was nothing but supports. Even Taichi seemed to approve of their relationship finally.
"But I guess," Yamato carried on, "she isn't the only Yagami who has something to announce tonight."
As the applause gradually died down, everyone in the room followed Yamato's line of sight, giving the spotlight to the man who now eyed Yamato sharply.
"Aw, man," Taichi retorted, chuckling without any humour in his tone. "You really don't leave any room for a chitchat, huh, Yama?"
Taichi placed his drink on the coffee table, putting his hands inside his pockets. There was a pause where everyone was left wondering whether it would be good or bad news, because although he was smiling, it didn't look like the usual Taichi Yagami's smile.
"My office wants me to go to Germany for a permanent position."
The pause afterwards was longer and almost unbearable.
Daisuke was the first one who broke the silence. The announcement was like a bombshell, and his bewilderment could not be contained. "What—how—why?!"
"They already offered me before Africa, actually," Taichi explained as calm as possible. "You know I wasn't originally involved in that project—I was just a last-minute replacement. I was still considering back then, but I met some people there who work at the German office. We had some conversation and… yeah, I grew interested."
"W, when will you leave, then?" Jyou chimed in. "Obviously not in the near time… right…?"
The smile on Taichi's face turned apologetic that it became frightening. Sora was suddenly reminded of the day he told her about his departure to Africa.
"They want me to start this summer." Taichi's answer unfortunately didn't stop there. "But they will host a conference soon and I'm very keen to be a part of it, so I'm leaving next month."
There was no delay in the next reaction. Daisuke and Jyou barged in at instance, protesting how things escalated way too fast. Miyako followed suit, whining that Taichi would not be here when she delivered her baby. Hikari chose not to say anything and turned to look at Koushiro's back. Mimi also refused to join the commotion and only rested her head in Yamato's embrace, yet her eyes already looked wet—probably an impact after her attempt to hide the information along with her true reaction on this news for the whole day.
Sora, on the other hand, was left dumbfounded on the corner of the room. She tried to hide herself between Iori and Ken, but to hide her surprise was a whole different matter. It was hard to process everything; even she was late to realise that Taichi had already tried to dismiss the clamour by dragging Daisuke to start the dinner. Most of them forgot to compliment Mimi's dishes since all the attention turned into Taichi. Even after they finished the meal and continued with the desserts and wine, they still hadn't changed the topic.
"But this means you will get a chance to see Takeru-san more often, right?" Iori tried to shift the perspective into a more positive corridor.
"Yeah, I think the distance from Germany to France is only a hundred kilometre-ish," Koushiro added. "That's as far as taking a train from Sendai to Morioka."
"But so far from Japan!" Mimi spasmed, probably her first for the night. "I can't believe you didn't tell us sooner, Taichi! And how could you not let us arrange a farewell party?!"
"Nope, Mimi. No party. We have agreed that's the punishment for interrupting my phone call with Yamato yesterday," Taichi said. "This night will suffice. I have so much to prepare anyway, so it's going to be very busy. And I know some of us are also very busy, right? Koushiro is pitching his business to an investor, Hikari is going to the job market, Miyako and Ken with the baby on the way…."
He didn't mention her name, but Sora could see his peripheral glanced in her direction.
Unable to handle the situation, Sora reflectively stood up from her seat. She was fortunate because at the same time, Ken also raised to escort his pregnant wife to the toilet and Hikari took her empty glass to the kitchen, so it didn't seem too obvious of her trying to escape the conversation. She moved out to the balcony, and although it still counted as winter, she felt warm enough thanks to the wine. Sora tried to count the city lights as her desperate trial to think about anything else. Still, her effort led to nowhere, especially because she heard the sound of the shifting balcony door followed by a few footsteps.
She hoped it was Jyou to console her, or perhaps Mimi or even Yamato.
"Whoa. It's still cold here."
Of course she couldn't be more wrong.
Mirroring her stance, Taichi leaned behind the rail, leaving just enough space between them. It was like a signal that he still needed the distance, but the fact that he was here made Sora a bit hopeful.
The trauma of taking the initiative still lingered, but she tried to be brave once again and opened up the conversation. "How come you never told me about Germany?"
"Sorry. I honestly thought they were joking at one stage," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I didn't think I'm really qualified for it, you know?"
She wanted to say that he was worthy of the position. People tended to look down on his intelligence and labelled him as a stupid person—even Sora herself often called him Bakaichi. Little did anyone know Taichi worked very hard to be where he was. It wasn't merely because his professor happened to work in the UN; Sora witnessed how he tried to catch up knowing he was behind compared to his friends, how he stayed up late to read and study (probably two things he liked the least), also how he practised speaking English repeatedly until he got the correct pronunciation in front of the mirror because it was a prominent skill needed for his job.
"Are you perhaps…" Sora was not sure if she should ask, but this was probably her only chance to take the conversation to her desired route, "…saying yes to this job because of me?"
Taichi did not budge. His face remained steady.
"Come to think of it, I should be the one to apologise, right?" Sora forced a dry chuckle. "I'm so shameless and foolish. That was so improper of me to drag you—"
"You don't have to explain. I get it."
She stopped. He exhaled a heavy one.
"As much as I hate admitting it, but to answer your question, yes I am. It's one of my considerations," he continued. "I don't think that we can go back to the way we used to after everything that happened. It's too dangerous because we will always doubt our truest feelings. Is it really love? Is it just amity? The uncertainty will only lead us to a more complicated situation that could flip our feelings to the lowest ebb, and the last thing I want in this world is hating you, Sora."
She almost startled at his sharp remarks. It wasn't like he said he hated her, but the fact that he used such a strong word and put an emphasis on it made her heart ache.
"Look. I'm sure it took you a lot of courage on Christmas. But I can't trust your feelings yet, Sora, I'm so sorry. Had I gone with the flow back then, it would've felt like lying to myself. And I've made a promise that I won't lie to myself anymore."
The more he spoke, the more Sora realised that Taichi had grown to be such an eloquent debater. Maybe what he said was not entirely true, but the way he delivered it was so convincing that it was difficult for the other party to argue. Her mind was now a mess. Her tongue almost turned to steel.
Sadly, Sora finally whispered, "I wish things were better between us."
"I heard you're one step closer to Shironeri," he said. "So maybe this is the best for both of us. We should just focus on our career and try to chase our respective dream."
Taichi then took a step closer to hold her shoulders. Earlier, he mentioned how cold it was outside, yet somehow she could sense a lingering warmth in his touch.
"I'm so proud of you, Sora. I really do."
She wished she could say the same, but no words were able to escape her lips even after he went back inside.
The end of the winter had never felt so freezing before.
.
.
March came unknowingly fast like a spring hare. The collaboration between Casie and Shironeri would proceed to the final steps at the end of the month, resulting in more and more meetings along with photoshoots here and there. With her endlessly hectic schedule, Sora dedicated all her weekends at home to wrap up her kimonos. She had two finished so far—one being an old work—and those should be enough if only she didn't doubt herself thanks to her overbearing mind. Eventually, she pushed herself to create the third one, although that meant she also had to push away her phone.
That was why when someone rang her doorbell that afternoon, Sora didn't have prior information about who was going to visit since she didn't check on the messages. Nonetheless, she never thought it would be Yamato standing by himself.
"You didn't read my chats," he said. "I need to pick up some of Mimi's stuff."
"Oh," Sora murmured awkwardly. "Where is she?"
"With Daisuke in a ramen workshop. Let's hope the instructor can handle them peacefully."
She giggled at his joke, opening the door a bit wider. "Come on in. Sorry for the mess." She didn't solely refer to the apartment; her own appearance was also a bit tangled. "Do you know what you are looking for? Should I help you?"
"I can grab them myself, thanks," he said, but instead making his way to Mimi's old bedroom, Yamato continued to ask, "Have you eaten anything, Sora?"
Again, she gave him a laughter—an ironic one. She forgot that not only did she push away her phone, she also neglected her need for food.
Yamato sighed. "I'll make my own ramen workshop, then. Perhaps you may want to clean yourself first."
Wondering how dishevelled she looked right now, Sora immediately got the answer when she caught herself in the bathroom mirror. She squirmed, understanding why Yamato scolded her earlier. With a little help from face wash and the comb, she finally got out once she felt more presentable. There was no need to be showy after all, as this was the person who had known her inside out.
Be that as it may, Sora was never fond of the idea of spending time alone with an ex. Being in the same room without anyone else present made the atmosphere feel cumbersome, especially since both of them were not a chatty person to begin with. With his back facing her, Sora couldn't help but wonder if this was the same sight Mimi had been blessed with if she didn't feel like using the kitchen. Mimi was a great cook, but Yamato was also a good one since he took care of the household after his parents divorced.
Would this be her view every morning had Sora been the one who was married to Yamato?
Luckily, ramen was as instant as its name, so it didn't take long for Yamato to serve it and Sora could avoid staring at his stature before her imagination drove further in the wrong direction.
"Bet you're glad it wasn't Mimi who came here herself," Yamato took the vacant seat in front of her. "She'd give you an earful if she saw you like this."
"Thanks for being my knight in shining armour, Yamato-dono."
Sora barely finished her third slurp when Yamato asked, "I suppose things didn't go well with Taichi?"
She reminisced the night of their last get-together; how Taichi said Yamato was never a man of chitchats. This guy surely loved cutting things to the chase.
"No," Sora answered matter-of-factly, reluctant to raise her gaze from the bowl of ramen. She wasn't sure how far Yamato knew about the situation. Still, he should had known a lot considering he was married to Mimi (literally the person Sora went to every time she needed some advice) and was also Taichi's best friend (probably the person Taichi went to every time he needed some advice).
"He said that he can't trust my feelings," Sora blew the ramen once, "which is a bit upsetting, now that I can think of it. How could he be so sure ofwhat I feel? It's my heart, not his."
Yamato let Sora slug her noodle, folding his hands above the table as he waited.
"Do you know that he came to hit me right after we broke up?"
It was the first time Sora heard about it that she dropped her chopstick.
"What?"
"He happened to call you once I went back from your place, right?" He cited the night when they broke up after having a conversation in this very apartment. The moment Yamato closed the door, her phone rang and she could not contain her tears when she picked up to Taichi's voice.
"I barely grabbed the key to my place and he already greeted me with his fist right in the corridor. That rascal only cared about you crying that he didn't even give me a chance to explain."
Indeed if only Taichi had listened, he would find out that their separation was based on a mutual agreement. The decision was not made because they had a huge fight; it was more of a conclusion that they were no longer had feelings for each other after being together for three years.
Now that she thought about it, it was amazing how Taichi could still harbour the same feelings for many years. Yet at the same time, she should understand that his feelings could also have an expiry date. She did, after all, experience it herself when ending things with Yamato.
"Do you think I was wrong for realising my feelings for him a bit too late?" she then asked. "You know he cared about me to the point where he could beat you up. Have I been wasting his feelings all this time then?"
"Talking about feelings is always complicated," Yamato mused. "The way I see it, it took him a long time to develop feelings for you. Maybe he thought that everything you did seemed very rushed, so he had a hard time figuring out whether you were sincere or not."
She immediately thought about how Taichi also snapped when he found out about the sudden relationship between Koushiro and Hikari. That was enough to prove Yamato's hypothesis correct.
Sora bit her lower lip. It was true she only gave her feelings some thoughts after finding out that she drunk-kissed Taichi on Yamato and Mimi's wedding night. Maybe if that didn't happen, she would never re-evaluate their relationship, which only extended the agony on Taichi's side.
She finally concluded that with or without the kiss, their relationship would bear too much pain. At least with the path they were on now, the pain was equally distributed between the two of them instead of piling up at one's end.
Because if the last thing Taichi wanted was for Sora to hate him, then the last thing Sora wanted was to cause Taichi to suffer.
.
.
The last round of the photoshoots could be done on Casie's premise, so on the final week of March, the team spent most of their time prepping the studio in their office to fit the desired themes. Sora was in the middle of arranging the flower decoration when Himekawa-san called.
"It's time, Takenouchi."
Sora held her breath.
On Monday, she brought three kimonos she had designed to the office, waiting patiently as Himekawa-san searched for a gap to introduce her formally to Shironeri. Now that Himekawa-san led her to the meeting room, Sora believed that every step she took along with the kimonos in her hands would also carry her to the dream she longed for.
A group of two was discussing something inside the meeting room, but the one that Sora recognised the most was the woman with a blue butterfly perched at the tip of her braid. Mononymously known as Menoa, she was the daughter of Shironeri's founder, Reika Ootori, who had retired last year. When she discovered the arrival of Himekawa-san and Sora, her lips pursed into a friendly smile. For someone who became a heir of a traditional business like a kimono atelier, she looked quite nifty.
"So this is the person you're talking about, Maki?"
Sora was caught off guard when the woman called Himekawa-san on a first-name basis.
"Yes. The name's Sora Takenouchi," Himekawa-san said without budging an inch. Sora knew it was her cue to bow as an introductory.
"Well, I know I can always trust your judgement since college days," Menoa hummed, indirectly confirming Sora's question on her relationship with Himekawa-san. She then turned her head to Sora, still with an upward curve. "Rightey! Sorry for keeping you waiting all this time, Sora-chan. What do you have for us today?"
The casual discussion turned into a one-way presentation. All the attention reverted to Sora, who now explained why she wanted to be a part of Shironeri before unveiling her first and second kimono. The third one, however, was the one that completely lit Menoa's eyes.
"Why do I feel like you're not using Japanese fabrics?" she asked, one brow furrowed in interest.
Sora beamed. "You are very sharp, Menoa-san. These aren't from Japan."
Right after Yamato went back home with Mimi's stuff, Sora found a stack of unused fabric on the back of her wardrobe. It was the Indian fabric from Mimi's honeymoon and Taichi's African souvenir. By a tiny chance, Sora was able to capture how the patterns and the colours complement each other, and that was when she obtained the idea of using them.
"I understand that kimono is the national dress of Japan, and there are certain occasions where we still have to uphold our roots by wearing them according to our traditions," she explained. "But on the other hand, I also believe that the beauty of kimono can go places. I think we can introduce kimono to wider society, and this kimono can be a prologue for our journey into a world full of cultural wonders."
She closed her presentation with her widest smile yet. The three panellists—Himekawa-san, Menoa, and her assistant Onodera-san—did not immediately deliver their feedback, but Sora pinned her hope on Menoa's fluttering eyes.
"Wow," Menoa muttered. "What are you—a UN ambassador?"
The question was beyond her expectation that she could only respond with a cackle. Her cheeks started to blush when she realised the possibility of her being influenced by a certain someone.
"Let me tell you something, Sora-chan," Menoa continued. "When I took over Shironeri from my mother last year, I didn't think I was the right person to do it. I dubbed myself as a rebel, open-minded person. How could I fit into such a conventional business?
"But then I tried to study more about kimono, and I found there's so much potential that I can work on. Yes, kimono is kind of complex, but that doesn't mean it can't adapt. I don't want people to look at kimonos and think how old-school they are. I want to make them versatile and loved by all people."
The statement was like a déjà vu. Sora then realised it was the same idea that Himekawa-san pitched on the kick-off meeting back in January. That explained why Menoa and Himekawa-san could be buddies even though their personalities might differ from one another.
Menoa got up from her chair. She took Sora's hands, clutching them so dearly that Sora could sense the bursting excitement from her touch.
"I really love your vision, Sora-chan. I can't wait for us to work together."
The last time she wanted to skyrocket so high was when she finally graduated from university. She had forgotten the feeling of being engulfed by a profound of joy that it was hard to control all the emotions that overflowed inside. Her eyes began to water in the corners; even Menoa saw them, so she squeezed her hands even tighter.
"Hey, I'm not an easy boss, by the way," she joked. "And I'm not lying when I say Shironeri is a tough place to work. You have to work your ass off, okay?"
Sora sealed her promise with a nod. She didn't forget to thank Himekawa-san by bowing as deep as possible. When Sora exited the meeting room, her steps were as light as feather, like all the burden had been lifted from her shoulders. She really wanted to hug the first person she met.
"Yoshino!"
The moment she saw one of her friends, Sora leapt like a little child. She was so excited that her hands accidentally jabbed the baskets of flowers that Yoshino had been carrying. "Oh, sorry!" Fortunately, Sora managed to catch them before they fell. "Here, let me help you." She took over the one filled with yellow roses.
"Oh, God. Thank you so much—that was heavy," Yoshino sighed in relief. "How is it? Did you get it?"
Sora struggled to reveal the proper answer, but her giddiness was enough to make Yoshino gasp.
"You get it!" Yoshino exclaimed. They had to resist the urge to hug once again, considering they could crush the flowers in their arms. "Sora, congratulations!"
"I can't do it without your support, Yoshino. Thank you, thank you so much."
"No, I was positive you will get through," Yoshino assured. "Even if you came tomorrow and told me you didn't make it, I would definitely take that as the best April Fool's joke."
The smile on her face faltered as soon as she heard Yoshino's statement.
"What did you say?"
"Huh? I was sure about you—"
"No, not that. April Mop?"
"Oh. Tomorrow's a day one, right?"
"You mean thirty-one… right?" Sora's voice trailed off. "Isn't today March thirtieth?"
Yoshino tilted her head perplexedly.
"Sora, today's March thirty-first."
As much as it was depressing to admit, Sora knew that she often lost track of the day and time once she got too absorbed in one activity. However, of all the days she could have been mistaken, this was the day she should not be forgetting.
The chat that Daisuke sent a week ago in their group flew over her head. Taichi-senpai, please tell me that this is all an April Fool's joke and you're not really leaving.
Daisuke, I have better pranks if I want to do something on April Fool. Taichi responded. And by the way, my flight is actually on the thirty-first.
"I have to go," Sora whimpered. "Yoshino, I'm so sorry, but I really have to go right now." Sora quickly returned the basket to Yoshino without asking for permission, dismissing her chime of protest. She then dashed to grab her purse, leaving the office to look for a cab before realising his departure would be from Narita instead of Haneda.
With both feet still wearing heels, Sora was forced to run into the nearest station. After she hopped on a train, she tried to rearrange her breath while looking back at the group chat to check the exact time of Taichi's flight.
Narita, March thirty-first, 6:50 pm.
It was way past five in the afternoon, and it would take nearly one and a half hours to reach Narita by train.
There was a screaming inside her heart telling her not to give up. With a bit of luck, maybe his flight would be delayed long enough for her to catch.
However, as she got out in Ueno to change train and stuck in the middle of the crowds, her faith began to collapse bit by bit. She tried her best to squeeze herself out, ignoring the complaints and bickers of the many men she passed. Even so, karma quickly served what she deserved. Just when she was about to reach the turnstile, Sora got shoved face first, and when she looked up, the clock had already laughed at her with its shortest needle pointing at number six.
A little voice from her rationale finally knocked her some sense. There was no way she could get there in less than an hour.
A passerby stopped to offer some help, but she politely declined and got up on her own. The embarrassment was nothing compared to the ache on her knees and her heart. Sora changed her course with both legs feeling like they were attached to a prisoner ball. She boarded back on a train, now with her apartment as her destination. Her initial thought was to slouch like a dead man on the sofa as soon as she arrived, but she made her way to the window instead, peeking through the curtain as if she could see his plane passing in front of her building.
The sun had set outside, leaving the skyscrapers under a glaze of dark blue. She once said there was nothing sad about a blue sky, but today's dusk was evidently an exception.
Her hands tried to reach out for her phone in the blazer's pocket, receiving a bonus in the form of a yellow petal sticking to the screen—most probably from the flowers she carried for Yoshino earlier. Once she peeled it off, she found her fingers selecting his contact, one button away from recording a voice note.
Perhaps he was already sitting comfortably in the cabin, switching the airplane mode before taking off. There was no guarantee that he would keep the same number the moment he landed on Germany, yet she decided to press the record button anyway.
"Hi. It's me." She greeted. "I… uh, I just want to let you know that I got the job at Shironeri."
She took a short interval in hesitation.
"I made a kimono out of the fabric you gave me." Sora could imagine him claiming the bragging rights even though she only used his gift for the obi to accompany the dress made from Mimi's. "And then I started to talk about how I want to make a kimono diplomacy like I'm the Japanese representative for the UN. I think you have successfully brainwashed me with your political agenda."
Sora glanced at the petal wilting slowly on her palm. She got nothing to lose anymore, didn't she?
"Regardless of what happened between us, I hope you will take good care of yourself," she continued. "I'm sure you will become a remarkable diplomat in the future, but if I may give you some advice… I think you should give someone a chance to explain before making a conclusion." Or hitting someone in the face in Yamato's case.
"Do you know the meaning of yellow rose? In hanakotoba, it was known as a symbol of jealousy. However, in western floriography, a yellow rose can also mean friendship and devotion," she exhaled. "What I'm trying to say here is people can have a different perception over one thing. You believe feelings need a series of processes to develop, but I believe feelings can also grow in the blink of an eye. My 'process' might be rushed for you, but that doesn't mean my feelings are any different."
Her voice was now trembling miserably, bracing for the next words to come.
"I love you so much, Taichi. I'm sorry for realising it lately."
She really wanted to end the recording before it turned too incoherent, but at the same time, she felt the obligation to do one thing appropriately after creating such a mess, so she tried to pull herself together.
"There's a saying that goes, 'If you love someone, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be yours.'"
Tears started running down her face, and no matter how hard she squeezed her eyelids shut, the cascade was too heavy to hold.
"This is me letting you go. Goodbye."
And the record finally stopped.
.
.
reference:
(1) I am suck at describing Japanese houses so i have to borrow the description from /learn/japanese-style-houses/ (take this as a form of citation before I can be accused of plagiarism lol)
(2) Narita and Haneda are Tokyo's airports, but Narita is very far from Tokyo downtown. Also, the taxi fare in Japan is really expensive, even for a short-distance trip.
(3) -dono is the suffix for master/lord.
(4) From what I've learned, 'love' is a very heavy word in Japanese, so I tend to use the term 'feelings' and save the actual word for the very best moment ;)
notes: 7 February 2022. (Edited on 19 February 2022)
And this marks the end of How Do You Like Your Sky Today, except that I'm kidding :p
Despite the long, descriptive chapter, I hope you enjoy a bit of perspective from Sora's side along with some cameos. One chapter to go. Thank you so much for staying this far.