Disclaimer: Must we go over this again? Don't sue me. Thanks.

Authors Note: Sorry guys, this chapter is short again. My sister (older one) wrote the bulk of this. More like all of it, haha. Well, its been ages since we last updated...Hopefully the next chapter will be a bit longer!

Chapter 7. Decisions

The very next morning my parents popped the question. The owl had swept down haughtily and dropped the deceptively plain, unassuming envelope on my plate. (Which thankfully didn't have food on it.)

Should I, or should I not?

I drifted down to the outside of the broom storage room and sat against the wall, nearest to my pilfered broom. I glanced thoughtfully at the letter for the hundredth time.

After a half hour, I hastily leaped up and ran to the lake. Blaise was staring contemplatively out across the glittering water and didn't seem to hear my silent footsteps. Yet, he didn't start at the sound of my voice.

When he saw my face he knew.

"Well, I guess I should have expected this time to come. Have a seat." He motioned for me to sit next to him.

"I received the letter today." I shifted uneasily on the springy grass.

He nodded in sympathy, an emotion Slytherins never allowed others to see.

It was dangerous.

But hey, this is a dangerous time. Why not add a little more risk to spice life up.

"Do you want to become one?"

This simple question startled me. I had forgotten to ask myself that.

I had been thinking about what others would think, or what my friends would say. And, especially what my parents expected from me.

But never had I stopped to consider if I wanted it. If I wished to become one of them.

A deatheater.

Someone who kills on command.

Someone who would be hated and feared by all the wizards and witches who did not follow the Dark Lord.

Blaise spoke again.

"I know I am mad to say this, but though I am Slytherin, and though we are not supposed to confide or help anyone but ourselves, we are expected to break rules. I would rather die than become one of them. But, I feel that you should hear the reasons why it would be good to become one. I believe it will help you better than the reasons I personally have not to join."

His smile was deceptively calm: its flippancy hid the bleak and bitter core.

I felt extremely grateful but managed to frown at a blade of grass.

"You would become powerful in the dark arts. You would be able to take revenge on whomever you wished. Killing would be applauded by your master. If, if your side won, you would have more control than you ever dreamed. The rewards for your service would be great."

He looked keenly at my emotionless face then left.

His words made me cold.

I needed more.

I dashed to the quidditch pitch where I knew Draco was practicing.

I found him polishing his broom with an affection most would be shocked to see on his face.

In fact, I doubt that they would even recognize him.

He also knew at once what was troubling me.

"I've already spoken with Blaise. He told me the reasons why I should."

Understanding and admiration flashed in his eyes. He knew how difficult it must have been…for both of us.

"I see."

He sat thinking for a few moments then stood up and motioned for me to follow him.

We walked to the middle of the quidditch pitch.

Clever.

No one would be able to hear us.

"If word of this conversation gets out, I will be dead."

His tone was more serious than I had ever heard it.

He spoke quietly.

"I had to decide weeks ago who I was to become. I knew how important the decision would be."
He laughed grimly, "It would affect the rest of my life."

I swallowed. Hard.

"I suppose, looking back, that I had already decided before I began thinking. It was all that I thought about for days. I was so close…" Here his voice choked with an unidentifiable emotion, "So close to choosing the wrong path. I was only saved by…" He stopped completely and glanced at me. "Well, that doesn't matter so much. It only matters that I chose to become a deatheater."

My eyes did not betray my emotions merely because I did not know what they were.

"But, that is not all. I chose to become one so that I could help those I have despised my entire life. I chose to become a spy. Now you see why I claimed that I would suffer a horrendous death if anyone knew. The only person who knows of my decision is Dumbledore. I would have never thought that I would have ended up confiding in him. But, life never seems to turn out the way we expect it to, nor do we ourselves always do what we expects ourselves to do. Anyway, just because I chose this particularly difficult path does not mean you must. The reasons for doing so were purely my own and I don't know if they would mean anything to you. But you must hear them, and maybe they will give you the clarity that they gave me."

He looked earnestly at me and I could not do anything but continue listening raptly.

"My family never expected me to hesitate; I hope the few days that it took me to decide does not reveal my true loyalty later. I have always been raised to value the things a Deatheater would. I have since then learned that I must, at all costs, make my own choices. I am not my father's son. Unlike him I despise the fact that I would either be in favor or dead. I hated the thought of only living to please the Dark Lord. And, I abhorred the thought that I would never have anything better to strive to become than his powerful slave. Because, that's all we could ever hope to become: a slave, both to him and the dark arts. I have certainly chosen a difficult path. It is not a light thing to take another human's life as much as you may hate them. I see that now. I will have to kill and pretend to enjoy it while all the while my soul will be shrinking in aberration."

Draco's eyes looked dull with the thought of his hard tasks in his life. But a determination glinted through.

I was awed.

"It is simple because in a way, you have already decided. Except you must know a little of who you are. That is never easy. Just ask yourself this: do you want your greatest goal to be for yourself? To strive to become great, but achieve that alone? Or, do you want to be part of something bigger? The lives of friends and a family you might have someday? Do you want to love yourself and power? Or do you want to love life, and people? Do you want to live a full life, or simply the façade? And, would you sacrifice the lives of any who stood in your way or would you rather die for those you care for or even hate?"

He stared at something I could not see.

What did I want? Did I really know myself?

I left with the words "simple, quite simple" floating around in my head and haunting my thoughts.

Simple.

Was it really?

Thank you's:

I don't have time to type out personal notes to everyone, but thank you to the following for reviewing:

poke-the-sleeping-dragon, mistress-cadaver, Slytheringurl650, sugarbomb53086, ofblueandgrey, Brooke Malfoy, Wicked-59, ayu and last but not least, beanzmeanzheinz.

I know a lot of you are frusterated with us for not updating for ages, but you must understand that we get busy.

Now I, younger sister, have soccer practice every weekday from 3 to 5, getting home at 5:30, eating dinner at 6, starting on homework at 7, working till 8:30, watching a movie or doing more work.

My older sister has been busy (it is her senior year of highschool) with homework. She is taking almost all of her classes AP. Whew. So pity her.

Oh, and about the new penname Zabini the Pyrate, the reason it isn't showing up is because we haven't published anything under it yet. I will let you know when we do.

Thank you so much for the support,

Your slaves (aka, authors),

Lilybet Edyvean and Pyrate Viking