Chapter 8
Ponyboy choked back tears as he watched his oldest brother walk away. With a sudden urge to run up to Darry and demand that he stay, Ponyboy began to walk in the same direction as his brother. That is, until he felt a hand placed on his shoulder. He turned around to face Sodapop, whose face appeared very grave.
"C'mon, Pony," he said quietly. "There ain't nothin' left to see."
With that, the two boys walked senselessly down the hall toward the kitchen, Soda had a hint of a grin on his lips, maybe he was beginning to like this place after all. He hated seeing his brother pushed out of his life like that, and Ponyboy was not doing so well, but this was a new adventure and he was ready for it.
"It just ain't fair," Pony mumbled without realizing.
Soda stopped, emerging out of his thoughts. "What ain't?" He had become increasingly worried about his brother since their arrival. He seemed distracted— or disoriented.
"They just can't pull us apart and force us to act like it was going to happen all along!" Pony slammed his hands on the wall closest to him. "They shouldn't be able to break us apart that easily!"
Soda hugged his brother. "Easy, Pony," he soothed. "They ain't doing nothin' to our family. Nothing will change when we get out of here. This is something that we just have to face, it will all be fine.Don't worry."
Pony was near tears. He hated being the one who seemed to wuss out first, but the state had no right to break apart his brothers and do this to them. For once, Soda just did not understand.He hated being the one who always had nightmares; the one who could do nothing right.…
"How can I not worry? EVERYTHING will be different. Darry, Two-Bit. Hell, I'll bet Steve will have a new best friend before you get back!" Ponyboy shut his mouth immediately, trying to hide what he had just said.
Soda stood silently, stunned by his brother's sudden outburst. He looked around to set his eyes on something— anything, so Ponyboy could not see what was going through his mind. He decided to rest his eyes on a picture of the founder. "So... that's what you think? That's what it'll be like when we get back? Nobody will be the same?" His eyes met with his brothers. "Pony, you've gone through deaths." Pony flinched slightly at the thought of Johnny and Dallas, and Soda felt sorry for him, but continued on with his speech. "Mom, Dad, Johnnycake, and Dally. Why would you think now, of all times, is the worst that's happened to us, or the worst that will?"
Ponyboy avoided his brother's eyes. "I don't know. Forget about it. It was stupid of me. Okay?" He started to walk away.
"Pony," Soda called, grabbing his brother's shoulder. "You do know; you're just not tellin' me, is all. Now, spill."
Ponyboy had just opened his mouth to speak when Mr. Martin came in.
"Excuse me, gentlemen, but I believe the elder Curtis is to be in the kitchen, assisting with the dishes. Am I correct?"
Both boys gave a discrete nod.
"Very well," the headmaster acknowledged. "Off with you." He indicated to Sodapop, who walked off to the kitchen without another word to his sibling.
Ponyboy stood there a moment longer and reflected on what had just happened. He and Sodapop had never fought like this before. Sure, there was the occasional yell for the last piece of cake, but nothing as severe as this.
This place was going to change things... him, more specifically.
Pony sighed and left for the dorm with legs as heavy as lead. Darry was right; he needed more sleep. The whole six hours of sleep was not good for him. Then again, maybe it was for the best.
He reached his dorm to see Greg and Adam sitting on their beds talking and listening to music.
"Hey, Pony," Adam greeted. He gave a small smile and turned his attention back to his conversation.
"Hey, guys," Pony nodded back. He sat on his bed and began flipping through Gone With the Wind. He was just at the part where the Southern gentlemen were riding off. He and Johnny only got that far into it.
I think Johnny would have liked the end, Ponyboy's mind wandered, running off his thoughts. Johnnycake was right, though; Dallas was gallant; he stood with Johnny until...
Pony bolted up. He had no need to think of that. He had enough on his plate without his mind wandering off back to the church, and the hospital...
"You alright, Ponyboy?" Greg asked, wide-eyed. He and Adam appeared to have finished their conversation as soon as the Curtis boy sat up right. There was something weird about that kid.
"Yeah," Pony breathed heavily. He felt as though he had a nightmare. He was panting and sweating a little. "I'm fine." He gulped. "I just drifted off into sleep and woke myself up, I guess." He attempted a laugh, but it sounded as fake as it felt.
Adam looked away for a second. "Oh...Okay, then..." And with that, the two boys turned around and started their conversation anew.
Maybe I should go outside and get some fresh air. It might do me some good, Pony thought, sitting up and walking towards the door. "I'm just going out," he informed no one in particular.
He walked down the hallways until he met with a pair of giant oak doors that led to the outside.
Too bad it wasn't this easy just to leave this place all together, Ponyboy thought rather viciously. Then me and Soda wouldn't have to put up with this and we could go back home with Darry. He opened the doors and walked into the searing hot sun.
Pony searched for a half decently shaded tree to sit under and rest his eyes. A small fir tree was growing a few feet away from the hedge; it was completely empty and had a somewhat good shadow.
He sat down underneath it and leaned his back against the trunk of the tree. The wind blew his hair into his eyes and he removed it. Considering that he had run out of grease, his hair was a lot softer than it had been, and it annoyed the hell out of Ponyboy. He did not look tuff or tough; he did not feel cool or resilient. He did not feel like a greaser. He felt like a good-for-nothing loner.
He sighed and let the wind and sun lull him into a light slumber.
A half an hour later, Ponyboy awoke, startled out of his sleep. A pair of eyes gazed at him with great concern.
Pony struggled to keep a scream held down. He focused on the face to which the eyes were connected to. It was Harris.
"Sorry to wake you up, Pony, but you didn't seem to be sleeping that good. Maybe you were having a nightmare or something, I dunno, but I thought I should wake you up," the boy explained quickly.
Ponyboy rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, it's okay." He noticed that he had slipped down when he was asleep, and so he erected himself properly. "I— uh, thanks for the thought, I guess..." he stuttered. The fact was that he was having a nightmare; he just could not wake up from it.
Harris nodded and sat down with him.
"Did you have anyone visit you today?" Pony started off a completely random conversation, hoping to stay off the topic of his sleeping difficulties.
"Yeah, my big sister came to see me," Harris answered. "She's only sixteen, but she's hoping to get custody of me when she's old enough." He paused for a moment and looked around. "I overheard you yelling at your brother... Was everything okay?"
Ponyboy shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, yeah. We just had a little argument. It was nothing important. I just kind of lost my cool." He offered a small, fake smile, which was returned to him.
Harris leaned up against the tree with Pony. "You know, once you get past the 'not-so-homely' feeling, this place kind of feels like home..."
Ponyboy gave him the strangest look he could muster. "You're well aware that made no sense?" It was not supposed to be a question, but it came out as one.
Harris grinned and shrugged. "Get used to it."
Pony looked out towards the sun and shielded his eyes from the rays. "I'm going to head in. I'll see you around, okay?" he inquired, getting up off the ground.
"Alright. Talk to you later, Ponyboy. Take it easy." Harris departed from the tree as well.
Pony headed off into a direction unknown to himself. He was now inside the building and walking around with no place to go. He was just thinking.
What a weird dream that was, Pony thought. There was so much yelling and commotion, I had no idea what was going on. I— I must have been lying on the ground. I could see everyone... Darry, Soda, Two-Bit, and Steve. They were talking and everything was normal. But when I tried to say anything, they would just ignore me and it seemed like I wasn't there...
Or maybe they just didn't care, an eerie voice in the back of his head added to the rest of the thought.
Well, there you have it. Dream was pretty bad, but I want to say thank you, once again, to my WONDERFUL bata! You're awesome! And as for my extremely loyal readers, please give your comments and concerns on this "dead-end" fic.