A/N: this is my first fanfic ever .. 'xcept the doujinshis I've been making where my fave anime characters are present.. wahe, actually, more like a songfic. The Infatuation is Always Over by typecast,.. Full Metal Panic rockx!
Disclaimer: I don't own FMP. Not even Sousuke. Or Kaname. Uhg, hope I wanted to. But Shouji Gatou thought of it first. Uh, I wish I own it. But really, no.
The Infatuation is Always Over
XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD
Sweat.
The Classical Sweat.
Sousuke was standing right infront of Kaname's apartment door. Beads of sweat.
"This is bad…"
"Why am I here again? Damn. It's just usual, Sousuke, breathe. Kaname just ask you to come over. Nothing's going to happen. Just the usual… right?" Sousuke said to himself.
Flashback
B.O.O.M.
Sousuke did it again. The usual morning event. What do you expect?
W.H.A.C.K.
Good thing Kaname has her halisen this morning. Poor sergeant.
"Oww, you know that hurts, Chidori." Sousuke commented.
"Get used to it, you war-freak. I said no more damaging today, Sousuke!" Kaname shouted. Another bump on Sousuke's head.
"But Chidori, that guys scoring one on you!"
Kaname blushed. Hah, like he care. "So what? You care!"
"Of course, I do! Chidori, what if that guy's a-"
"Ah, forget it, Sousuke! We're gonna be let in our first period!" Kaname cut him off and walked, leaving Sousuke behind. He's saying that it's-my-mission-to-protect-you thingy again. I don't wanna hear his excuses anymore.
I understand
What you're trying to say
No need to say it
She just feels hurt when Sousuke keeps on yapping about his mission. She doesn't know why.
He doesn't know why either. He doesn't get it why he keeps on saying reasons just to be around her. He wants to stay with her. Yet he can't say why. She's confused. He's baffled.
"Sousuke Sagara! I said let's go!" Kaname said, looking back and cutting him from his thoughts. "Affirmative." Sousuke followed.
After class…
I wonder why Kaname's been acting strange this morning… I think she wants to tell something, but she can't. I need to ask her. "Sousuke!" Sousuke was cut from his thoughts by Kaname. Again.
"Uh, Chidori, Is something wr-"
"Sousuke, can we talk for awhile?" Kaname asked even before Sousuke could finish his sentence. "Huh? Sure, Chidori." Here comes the classical sweat.
"Uh..Uhm… Ano, do you have something… planned for tonight!" Kaname asked, looking away from his face. "None, Chidori. I already cleaned my equipment and fixed the traps in my-"
"Good! Well, can you come to my apartment later?" Kaname asked again. Cutting Sousuke for the third time. Does she always have to do that?
"I always come and follow you to your apartment, Chidori. That's kind of usual to me."
Sousuke said in his monotonous voice.
A light tinge of pink appeared in Kaname's face. "Uh, no! Not the usual. Just come over tonight. We've got some serious matters to discuss." Kaname said, feeling a little down.
"Huh! Okay." Asked a confused Sousuke. What's happening? I don't wanna see her sad. Serious matters? Something's up.
end of flashback
Oh. That's why.
Dingdong. Dingdong. Dingdong.
"Wait! Coming! Don't break the doorbell!" A certain girl shouted, walking towards the door. She opened the door and –
"I'm here, Chidori. Just in time." Sousuke answered after awhile. Sousuke suddenly felt the urge to stop talking and just look at her. He was in front Kaname, who was wearing a seductive tank top. Apron around her curvaceous body and her signature… smile. He loved that smile. He'd give everything just to see her smile. He lived with that smile.
"Oh, come in. We need to talk." Her smile faded. Huh?
Time passed. The two ate their dinner quietly. This bugged Sousuke. He can't help but notice the sad expression painted on his angel. Kaname. He had no other way but to make the first move and break the silence. "Chidori, is something wrong? You've been acting differently since this morning. I'm getting worried."
"Ah, Sousuke, er, ano.." Should I tell him? I dunno… Kaname was shocked. She didn't expect Sousuke to notice her behavior. It isn't normal for him to care for her, is it? Does he really care for me?
"Chidori, you can tell me if you have a problem." Sousuke said, waking her up from her thoughts. "Sousuke…"
Kaname hid her eyes behind her bangs, facing away from Sousuke. "I'm leaving. I have to go to New York. I'm…I'm sorry."
Sousuke was speechless.
I am leaving
But don't walk away
Sousuke tried to breathe. He can't. He just can't. No, I can't imagine life without Kaname. It isn't even worth living without her. Her smile, her voice… It's impossible for me to live without her.
Sousuke tried to reminisce what Kaname had just said, and said, "That's not a problem, Chidori, I'll just prepare my pass-"
"No, Sousuke." Kaname said, almost a whisper, trying to fight away the tears filled in her eyes. What? Why Kaname? I don't want to lose you. Don't you understand?
"Don't you understand, Sousuke Sagara?" Kaname continued. "I'm sorry… but my family needs me there, even though it's hard for me…" she said in a descending tone, trying to calm herself down. This was supposed to be a normal night. It's supposed to be… quiet and…and romantic… but why the hell am I crying right now? In front of him?
Tears were visible on Kaname's cheeks. I don't wanna see her cry.
"… Just stay here, Sousuke… even just for awhile… for the last time."
Just stay right there
I'll fall and I'll just look at you
I'll just look at you
I don't know why
"K...Ka...Kaname…"
Huh? Kaname? He just called me Kaname? Kaname thought behind her tears. Sousuke called her Kaname only on certain important times. And tonight's one of those.
"Don't… Don't…" Sousuke hesitated for a moment.
"Sousuke, no. I just want to thank you tonight and for all the things you've done to me." Kaname said, forcing a smile. That didn't work.
"..Don't go." At last, Sousuke said it. And with full confidence.
"S..Sousuke?" Kaname felt a little awkward, having Sousuke in such an unusual behavior. And that's not the 'unusual behavior' of being a war-freak. But the behavior of a… man.
I always feel like this
It's hard to breathe
"Gomen, Kaname!" Sousuke apologized after the moment. "I..I.. uh, I always feel like this around you. Right after the event that happened on your birthday. I find it hard to breathe around you… I, uh, I'm sorry."
It was Kaname's turn to be speechless. Sousuke really has changed. Because of her.
When you're around
Your big blue eyes (though Kaname's eyes are chocl'te brown, w/c is kawaii!)
Are drowning me to sleep
"I don't know why you're forcing me not to go. Eversince that incident in Hongkong, I promised myself that I will never abandon you again. I need to go with you. I want to protect you…" Sousuke stopped to breathe. He has been losing a lot of air this night.
"I need to be with… uh, because… cause..." Sousuke hesitated again. Come on, you jerk! Just say it! Kaname won't be mad at you!
"…Because it's your mission? Come on, Sousuke! I don't mean to force you. And thank you for saying those things, but I don't want you to go and hurt yourself once more because of me! You have a life too, remember?" Kaname said. (AN: yup, what a perfect way to ruin a moment…)
"I don't know… My life's worthless if… if you'll go." Sousuke whispered, eyes hidden in his thick bangs. But was still audible in Kaname's reach.
"Just like what happened to me last time." He ended the statement.
The space is tearing me
I'll stay, please stay
Words are not important
Silence filled the room. Tears were visible in each other's eyes. Kaname was surprised to see a war-freak, paranoid, soldier such as Sousuke cry. So was Sousuke.
… He's crying, because of me… I can't take it anymore.
Kaname threw herself at Sousuke, hugging him like there's no tomorrow. They were both pressed at each other and Sousuke was surprised at that moment… learning to adjust their postion, slightly blushing. Kaname? He stopped and heard her crying and gripping his clothes tightly like a child.
"I…I'm sorry, Sousuke! I just don't know… I like you, but I'm scared." Kaname said between her sobs.
"Chi- Kaname..." he blushed but still wears a worried look. "Could you… at least, show your smile… to me again?" I'm dead. Why the heck did I say those words? Sousuke was preparing for a big whack in the head, but surprisingly, nothing came.
Kaname lifted her head from Sousuke's chest and showed him her prettiest smile Sousuke had ever seen.
Smiles are all I need from you
The yearning, it's getting stronger
I'm dumb, I hope you like me too
Her tears were now dry. "Beautiful…"
"Huh, Sousuke?" Kaname asked tilting her head slightly. Damn, did I just say it out loud?
He was stiff. Kaname giggled. "haha…"
"Ah, Chidori? Something wrong?" Sousuke asked with another of his innocent looks. Which by the way score a big point for Sousuke to Kaname…
"You're so stiff, Sousuke… jerk." Kaname said between soft giggles. Implying Sousuke that Kaname's getting back to her ol' cheerful self again.
"You're alright now, Chidori?" Sousuke's worried voice burst out.
"Huh?" Kaname said. Then he hugged Sousuke again, this time a little tighter. "Of course, Sousuke, I've never felt better."
You're two tables away
You could see me mesmerized
I want to talk to you
But I'm so scared
Sousuke wanted time to stop. Nothing else was more comfortable than their position right there, right now. He wanted to drown in those big brown eyes forever.
Kaname's body was filled with contentment. Nothing can make her release Sousuke from her grasp, leaving her alone. She wouldn't let that happen. And she promised… I will never forget you, Sousuke… Tears starting to fill her eyes again.
I like you, but I'm scared. Sousuke thought of what Kaname said earlier. What the heck did she mean by that? I won't let her go, never. I…I'm scared to be alone…again.
He then noticed the tears building up again in Kaname's eyes. Without thinking, he said, "Kaname, I…I'll follow you… wherever you go." Great timing, Sousuke. You're dead meat. That was just the time he realized what he just said.
"He's nervous…" Kaname thought. "I really don't know. I told you I'm scared. And I don't know if you can go. I'm not even sure if you'll be annoyed of me going everywhere. I don't even know what my parents will say. What my life will be there in New York! I don't even know if I'll have a… future there…" Suddenly stopping realizing that she spoke too much already. Turning her face away from Sousuke, and releasing her reach.
Before I never cared
Infatuation's never there
But now it's killing me
I really hate myself
Silence filled the room once more. Nothing was heard except for the mild sobs of the blue-haired girl, keeping herself from crying completely in front of him.
A moment or later, Kaname asked something. "Ano, Sousuke, did you mean… everything you said earlier?" She stopped. Then continued, "I, I mean you really don't have to answer that cause I really don't need to kno-"
Sousuke's reddish face became more reddish. If that's even possible.
"Yes." Another straight-forward answer. (A/n: he's been saying a lot of short answers lately...haha) His answer was self-explanatory. No more buts. No others.
"ah.. er.. I mean, uhmm…!".. So much for the no-more-buts thingy.
"?" Kaname gave that innocent look. This time, Kaname hugged him gently and slowly, from light to tight, taking Sousuke's breath away. And for the thousand time this day, Sousuke blushed unlikely.
"Thanks, Sousuke… I really appreciate it…" Kaname whispered.
"Sousuke, what did you mean by those words?" She followed.
"Uh… err..." Sousuke said, more like uttered, scratching his hair, and of course blushing. "What was it again?"
Great. Another ruined moment. Nice, Sousuke. Go ahead and ruin the moment. Sousuke cursed again.
"The words you said, dimwit!" Kaname said. She pouted at that time. And her pout was so cute. Kawaii…
"Uhh, I mean…" Sousuke was cursing himself inside. Go-get-your-head-soaked-in-a-very-hot-bowl right now.
Lubdub. Lubdub. Lubdub… Sousuke heart was beating like no other.
Feeling speechless and beaten, he returned Kaname's embrace. And at this time, Kaname's breath was taken away. Literally and idiomatically. (A/n: they're, like, fighting who has the strongest embrace…uhghhh). It's Kaname's turn to blush as red as a tomato.
They stayed like that for awhile, savoring the moment once more. Both had closed eyes and were both dreaming of their worlds. After a while, Kaname heard Sousuke breathe deeply. He was about to say it. Okay, this is the right time. I think.
"Remember my mission?" Sousuke started, both still hugging tightly but comfortably. "Yup." Kaname answered in a soft voice, still closed eyes.
"So, you know who I'm supposed to protect huh?" Sousuke asked. "From what I know, I have a mission to protect a pretty but tough Whispered girl. Her name's Chidori Kaname."
"Pretty tough huh? I bet if that Kaname's not embracing someone right now, she'd punch the guy who said that. Or hit him with her halisen." Kaname said, a small smile appearing from her lips. Sousuke gulped. "Uh, yeah." Oops. Wrong choice of words."
"Do you want me to call that Kaname?" Kaname asked, smiling a little but slyly. "Uh, it's better if you don't. I don't want another ruined moment. Maybe next time." Good work, Sousuke. Sousuke said to himself. But what was the last sentence about?
"kiddin." Kaname whispered again. An unlikely manner for her. "You know, I was supposed to protect that girl, but whenever I try to protect her, she just gets mad and tells me that she's not safe around me. At first, I wondered why. I'm a soldier of a mercenary unit and I have the latest equipment for battle. She just keeps on saying that her life's about school not a battlefield." Sousuke said.
"We kinda developed a certain relationship. I don't know what it is. But it seems like I started to like hanging around her. She was captured many times but she ends up helping me in fighting for her. I owe her a lot you know." Sousuke said. Kaname blushed madly at that part. "I know. I bet she feels the same. I also think that she hates having a dangerous life in an instant but likes the fact that there's someone he can trust and rely on. And I know that you are the only one trusted by that Chidori Kaname." Kaname said softly in his ears, giving Sousuke chills down his spine.
"Yeah. She said the same thing. I like her a lot, too. That's why everytime she sees me with the captain, I'm afraid that she will turn me off." Sousuke said and everything went blank. Silence.
Silence.
And the two broke their embrace.
They look at each other's eyes and they can see each of their inner self wanting to get out and spill their feelings. It seems like it's going to be long night after all.
"… Ai, aishi.. aishiteru, Kaname. And I want to protect you because I love you. You're not just any mission. You're special. I want to see you smile." Sigh, Finally. After a llooonnngg introduction, here comes the word.
He gently touched her right cheek and drowned himself in her eyes. Kaname hold his hand and closed her eyes. "Sousuke, I want you to be free…" Kaname whispered and they lock lips. Time seems to be eternity. Sousuke kissed Kaname's lips lightly and Kaname returned with a more passionate kiss. Kaname opened her mouth signaling Sousuke. As Sousuke's tongue entered her, the room was both hot and romantic. (A/n: yeah. Like those cheap novels.haha..). After a little tongue lock, the tow broke the kiss.
He forgot to breath there. She forgot to breathe there. But that doesn't matter.
Kaname just got her first kiss from the man he loved for nine whole months.
The two looked at each other, both flushed by what happened. "Thanks, Sousuke, that was rude." Kaname smiled. "Huh? From what I know, 'rude' is a bad thing." Sousuke said.
"Silly, You didn't even give me a chance to say 'I love you too' before you kiss me." Kaname smiled again. "Oh… Sorry." Sousuke said, blushing of that same kissing scene.
"I love you, too, Aishiteru no, Sousuke." Kaname said and kissed him lightly on the lips. "And I want you to protect me, too. You have given me enough reasons to prove your love. In more ways than one."
"I'll go wherever you will go. I promise you. I won't leave you. Never."
And they kissed. A night that was supposed to be their last night was the night of a new beginning of two certain lovers.
owari