Part Eleven (8/19/02)

Hyperspace is boring.

Boring and cold.

When I was younger, I used to have this grand dream about seeing every star in the galaxy - or was it every planet surrounding those stars? I honestly can't remember. I let that hope, that all-powerful goal, slip into the recesses of my conscious thoughts through my years of enslavement.

After leaving Tatooine and seeing the galaxy - the real galaxy - my childish fantasies swiftly came to a halt. I learned what the universe truly was - a larger version of scum-infested Mos Espa, full of people no less rotten than Sebulba himself.

There were no magnificent adventures to be had, no planets in need of rescuing, and no beautiful angels to cry before…

I told myself these facts daily and saw them with my own two eyes, but something inside, call it what you will - my soul, my heart, my childhood - never really let go of that little boy's wonder at all. I avoided those innocent feelings with such a passion that they had all but died.

I had to. There would be too much pain if I didn't.

I wondered if my eyes had lost some of their luster over years. Did they have a dull look to them? Could a person, with just a glance, look into my innermost suffering?

Was Padmé the same way? Hiding her misery behind those bottomless brown eyes? Was there more to her than she let on?

This is why I hate hyperspace. It makes me think too much.

I changed my eyes' focus from the hydospanner I was currently twirling in my hand, to the depths of space beyond the cockpit's viewport. Hours of musing about Padmé had gotten me nowhere, and I was beginning to get sick of thinking about her.

She hadn't said more than five words to me since she left my room, and only about half of those occurred after we boarded Maecenas's ship. She was in her assigned quarters now, and had only come out previously for a quick bite of food.

The colors of hyperspace swirled into red from yellow, and I turned my attention back to my hydospanner baton. I had attempted to use it to work on Threepio during the journey, but he didn't need any repairs, and I had no parts to give him a systems upgrade. He had shut down a few hours before to conserve energy, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I needed a new project. Perhaps I can build a droid for Padmé when we land on Naboo.

I allowed myself a roguish smile; anything that kept Padmé occupied was time well spent.

And so I started thinking about Padmé again. Every thought seemed to lead back to her. It would have helped if I could have talked to her, or even just be in the same room as her. Why was she being so difficult?

If she would only tell me what was wrong, perhaps I could help her. However, what right did I have to desire her time and attention? Why should she confide in me when I had given her no reason to?

Stop thinking about her, I told myself. I decided to renovate my baton routine by throwing the hydospanner up into the air and catching it before it landed.

I misjudged my trajectory though, and the tool landed on the cockpit floor with a loud crash.

Before I even had the time to say, "oops," Maecenas's enraged yell filtered into the cockpit from the galley.

"Skywalker! What the … are you trying to single-handedly destroy my ship?"

"No," I bellowed back, picking up the hydospanner. "I just dropped something."

Following that, there was a silence that could only mean the unseen Maecenas was scowling in the other room.

"Come in here, boy," he returned in a slightly annoyed tone. "I want to keep an eye on you."

Maecenas had this not entirely misconception that I was a troublemaker at every possible opportunity. I wonder what gave him that idea …

I threw the spanner back into the box with the other tools and walked into the galley. Maecenas was sitting and thoroughly enjoying a food so rare and delicate that I would never taste it.

I unceremoniously plopped down on the floor against one of the walls. There was neither viewports here, nor miscellaneous tools to play with. And I thought I was bored before.

"Where's that girl?" Maecenas asked in between bites.

"She's still in the sleeping quarters," I told him honestly.

"Huh? Strange one. Well, least she won't be causing trouble all the time," he replied after swallowing down another bite.

I didn't bother to respond. Instead, I opted to lean my head against the wall and close my eyes. The only sound to offer me entertainment was the drone-like noise of Maecenas's chewing. Like his pacing, the chewing could drive me past the point of insanity.

I tried my best to fill my mind with something else and settled on a Huttese drinking song.

Cho wai no passa
ore re nesa
nama nalla resa …

I didn't really notice when the words seeped past my mind and out my mouth, forming a soft sound that slowly rivaled the horrendous chewing.

When this happened, Maecenas looked up from the meal, and stared at me in disgust. Of course, I couldn't tell you how long because I had my eyes closed, but it must have been long enough.

"I didn't obtain you for entertainment purposes, Skywalker," he said gruffly. "Shut up."

I opened one eye to regard him.

"Sorry. Can I go check on Padmé?"

"Whatever. Just stop making noise."

I hopped up onto my feet and left the galley faster than I normally thought possible. The hallway aboard the little passenger yacht was only wide enough to let a larger sized human slip through - it wasn't created for what the designer would consider lesser species, like Wookies.

At eighteen, I had pretty much finished the vast majority of my growing spurts, and thankfully, still fit in that passageway. I was tall but not bulky, which worked well enough on ships, yet not in pods.

I neared the door that Padmé lurked behind. I pushed the trigger that released the pressure lock and opened the door. I felt somewhat cruel for not somehow notifying her of my desire to enter, but the solid metal door was nearly soundproof, which made knocking impossible, and did not contain a ringer.

I found Padmé sitting on one of the bunks. Unlike the way she laid about the bed when I had told her about my family, she sat upright, still, and stiff. I think she had her head held down before I had come, but now she was looking straight at me. Her eyes, as narrow as they were, were glazed with tears.

She had been crying.

I felt my brow wrinkle in concern as I came to her side. I knelt before her bunk, resting one knee on the floor for support.

She wiped her eyes and shook her head, as if denying that I was really there.

"What happened?" I asked, knowing perfectly well that it had been an uneventful journey so far. She shook her head one more time.

"It's nothing," she said with a false sense of strength.

"You wouldn't be crying if it was," I reasoned. "You can tell me, Padmé, I'll listen."

"I didn't ever say I wanted to tell you," she retorted, her voice returning to the sharp tone she had used the night before. She stood to effectively move away from me.

I leaned back a bit, shocked and confused at her sudden outburst. I joined her in standing and stared at her until she decided to look back at me.

"I know life is hard, Padmé," I said, refusing to lose my temper at her, "especially this life. It'll get easier if we help each other. I spent my entire life like this; I know it for a fact."

Padmé regarded me for a moment and crossed her arms around her chest.

"You're still a boy, Anakin," she told me coldly. "You don't know anything." Without waiting for my reaction, the angelic slave girl stormed out on me for the second time in two days.

"Typical," I mumbled under my breath before returning to the cockpit to play with the hydospanner.

The rest of the trip to Naboo was painfully boring that it isn't even worth mentioning.

When we reached the planet, Maecenas arranged for a shuttle to take us to our new living quarters, located in the human district of Theed. We took the trip in silence.

I was surprised by the place. The architecture was an odd juxtaposition of older, more classical buildings and newer, industrial complexes. The former were quite beautiful, often made of hand carved stone, glass, and other such natural looking elements. In the places that were still touched by sun and visited by moisture, there were lush, green vines growing. The places that weren't so lucky - like the structures butted up against the complexes - had vines still attached, but had turned brown, withered, and died.

The latter sections of buildings were made out of durasteel and tempered glass. They were coldly out of place in such a formerly warm environment. Some were as tall as hundred floors high, which shaded parts of the city for most of the day. Some of these complexes, I knew, not only held working quarters for the Neimoidians, but also their living quarters. They refused to live with the humans, who, for the most part, still occupied the stone buildings.

If Maecenas's jabbering was to be believed, there was also a collection of droid production factories on the outskirts of town.

The sweet twinge of moisture greeted my skin lovingly as we sped through the town in our open-air shuttle. I keenly looked for its source, thinking there might be a lake, river, or ocean nearby. My attention was caught by a large wall on the far side of the city. It must have been a dam, blocking a series of waterfalls that had once flowed against the Viceroy's palace.

I must have had been gaping at my surroundings for a while, but both my current companions had yet to speak.

Padmé was completely shrouded in her cloak, and I couldn't even make out the features of her face, even from my sitting position right next to her.

Maecenas was staring at a datapad and constantly running his hand through his hair - as if the wind was screwing it up.

Threepio was stored away with the rest of the luggage on a separate speeder. That was probably a good thing; I didn't think I could handle his running commentary on this new planet's wonders.

"You're scheduled to do a practice run tomorrow," Maecenas spoke up, surprising me. "The judges will want to make sure your pod's up to spec. The run won't be on the actual racetrack. You won't be allowed on it until the day of your first race."

I nodded slowly, biting my lip in contemplation. Racing on a track I had no knowledge of could at best cost me a victory, at worst my life.

"I want you go out tonight, get a feel for the people here," my owner continued. "Find the major bidders, your competition, and any support you can. The humans here hate aliens, so a human racer might get the best bets."

I allowed my eyes to fall unceremoniously to my knees. I noticed Padm's fingers twisting brutally at the seam of her cloak, causing red marks on her hands.

My teeth griped the inside of my cheek, and I forced myself to return my gaze to Maecenas without saying anything about Padm's fidgeting.

"Can I take her with me?" I gestured to Padmé.

"No, she'll hurt your chances," Maecenas stated.

I nodded again, this time more sadly, and prepared to sit the rest of the trip quietly. Surprisingly, Maecenas spoke a few moments later.

"Take some credits with you," he nearly laughed out. "Have some fun; get it out of your system before the races."

How nice of him, I thought sarcastically as I leaned back into my seat.