-1Disclaimer:

I did not invent One Piece or any of the characters in it. The godly Oda Sensie did. And I did

Not invent up Skie or Bibs. They gave themselves their powers and nicknames, just like I gave myself my nickname. Soon you will be hearing about an uberly stretchy navy jacket, and I did not invent that, either. That is totally real, and I am totally serious (for once in my lifetime!)! Check out Skie at SkieLoon, and check out Bibs at... well, she is on my favourite author's list, and her name starts like... Wicked (something) JollyRoger, but it is on the site that you are on right now, dumb ass. If you do not check it out, you all will be so lost through out the course of this fanfic. SO DO IT NOW! Please and Thank You. Oh yeah, I did not invent the chocolate chip cookie, but I can make a pretty good batch of them, if I do say so myself.

Chapter Three: Zoro is Manly!

As Zoro was working out, Sanji right next to him, watching him work out. (Don't worry, there

Shall be NO Sanji x Zoro!) All of a

Sudden, Sanji blurts out;

'Sword boy, you really like Tyler, don't you.'

Zoro stopped moving, then dropped the 89 lb weight directly on his foot, but didn't seem to notice

It.

'...ummm... No I don't.'

'SWORD BOY! YOU LIE!'

Unfortunately, Zoro would never let Sanji be right about anything, so he continued to be a

Stubborn ass.

(Sanji) 'Sword boy likes Tyler! Sword boy likes Tyler!'

(Zoro) 'You are wrong, Dartboard eyebrow!'

'You like heeeer!'

'No!'

'Yes!'

'NONONONO!'

'...You do know that if you don't make a move, some other guy who is better than you will steal

Her away from you.'

'YOU LIE! SHE'D NEVER GO WITH SOME OTHER GUY! ...I mean... there is no better guy

Then I...'

'So, what makes you so special?'

'I am a swordsman.'

'So...?'

'Yes, but you see, I use Three swords!'

'... So...?'

'...Ummm... I'm a MAN!'

'...So is Usopp.'

'I am a MANLY man!'

'...I see. Well, Mr. THREE Sword MANLY man, you better get going on wooing Tyler.'

'Why, it's not like any other guys are on this ship that are worth her love... I mean,

No...Guy...as...good...as...me...'

'...Then who's that?'

'EEEEK! GIT AWAY FROM MY TEE-SWAN, YOU MONSTER!'

'...I was kidding, ya know.'

'...I knew that.'

'...Right'

'I did!' (Zoro's voice was high pitched and squeaky)

'Uh-huh'

'You don't believe me.'

'OMG! LOOK AT THAT GUY CHASING TYLER ALL AROUND THE SHIP!'

'NOOOOOOOOOO! TYLER, I'LL SAVE YOOOOOOOOUUUUUU!'

Zoro puts his black bandana onto his head, and unsheathes his swords (his Three swords!), and runs after Tyler to 'save' her. Tyler was just giving a lost capitian directions to the closest island, and out of nowhere, Zoro attacked him! Tyler jumped up and caught his right hand sword in her deer skin clad left hand, his left sword in her deer skin clad right hand, and bit down on the tip of his sword that was in his mouth. The poor capitain was all anxious now, because this all happened in a span of only a few seconds.

'Thowo-kuhh, huuuheee, hut err eww ooing oo isss pur catin?' (Zoro-kun, honey, what are you doing to this poor capitain) Tyler said,

Trying to talk with a mouth full of pointy sword.

'He was trying to seduce you!' Zoro yelled, the hilt of the sword, apperently, having absolutely

NO effect on him, what so ever.

'S-s-sur, I-i, was-ss j-j-just-t-t t-tryin-ng to g-get-t s-s-sommme d-d-direcc-ctions t-to the n-nearest is-s-lan-nd-d,' the capitain stammered, looking

Extremely afraid of the two spaz-os talking normally together and ift would have been perfectly normal, except for the fighting stances of the two.

'...e as hying oo educss ee? Ee as ryyinn oo ass diwehions oo huh eeress i-and.' (...He was tying to seduce me? He was trying to ask directions to the nearest island)

'The fiend! He was just using that for a cover story!'

'Uh-huh, ahhn ooow aiii's puhpel.' (Uh-huh, and your hair's purple.)

'...DAMN YOU SKIE AND BIBS!'

'...I anna ookie.' (I want a cookie right now! If you do not make some cookies, or if I cannot make any, some one will pay. I need a cookie!)

'...You cook?'

'She may be able to cook, but she cannot cook better than I. OMG, DID I JUST INSULT A WOMAN!' Sanji butted in into the 'lover's battle stance'

'Oh, Dartboard eyebrow, I bet she can bake chocolate chip cookies a million times better than you can!' Zoro yelled, now pointing his swords at Sanji. (The Capitain had slipped away in the craziness, and somehow, Tyler didn't get her mouth cut to pieces when Zoro spun around to point his swords at Sanji)

'I can?' Tyler's feeble voice was unheard

'I think not, she hasn't been on a cooking ship before. Those pirates would kill me if I didn't make a perfect cookie.'

'They would?'

'But she is a female. They have a built in compassion with cooking and stuff like that. That must be why you are so girly!'

'We do? ...Sanji's girly?'

'Tyler, you pushed me too far,'

'I did!'

'Oh, she can get a lot harsher than that!'

'I can!'

'Tyler, I challenge you to a bake off!'

'You do!'

'She accepts!'

'I what?'

'These are the rules; it will be a single blind competition, meaning that only you and I will know which cookies are which, you are allowed to use anything that is on the ship right now, and our ship mates shall vote on the best cookie, got it, Te-chan! I don't want to do this, but you leave me no choice. Sob! I can't believe that I am challenging a woman! We begin sob baking in half an hour.' Sanji then abruptly left.

'There you go, my Te-swan...-- I mean, cough cough Tyler... you will kick butt because you are so... Sanji cannot beat you because... cough cough ... I like cookies?' Zoro was now blushing very much so, and Tyler was trying not to laugh. She was trying not to laugh not because she had just gotten forced to go in a baking contest with Sanji, and Zoro wasn't able to talk around her, but because she had just remembered that when you blush, your stomach gets redder, and she was imagining a personified stomach holding three swords, getting redder, and jumping around like a Mexican jumping bean. Zoro then left, with his hands in

His pockets and he was looking at the ground. He was also mumbling about how 'smooth' that just was.

'TTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN! OMG, YOU ARE GOING TO TRY TO MAKE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES IN A CONTEST AGAINST SANJI!' Bibs was running at Tyler with a mean look in her eyes.

'...If you do make cookies, I want double portions. You know that I can't vote unless I have two of each of the cookies.' Skie had a very hungry look in her eye, like she REALLY wanted some sugary substance.

'Oh, zut! I need to go, guys. It's time for me to start baking!' Tyler got up, and left to go and bake.

In the kitchen...

'Sanji I..."

'Don't say anything, just start baking.'

'...Alright. Just don't be mad or sad, or else your cookies might not be so good.'

'Why are you helping me out?'

'Because I don't want to beat you that badly.'

'...Thank you for the help?'

They then started to mix their cookie dough. Tyler had on her infamous gum-gum navy jacket. You see, her dad was in the navy, and he gave her the jacket for her to keep, and it has, like, five pockets, and around nine buttons. One day, she had put a piece of the gum-gum devil fruit in her pocket, and from then on, she could fit anything she wanted to in her pockets. She has so much stuff in there that it is said that Abe Lincoln is hiding in there. Anyways, because Tyler had on her jacket, she barely had to leave where she was standing. The only thing she had to walk to go and get was the eggs, so Sanji was wondering how good cookies can be, if the only ingredient is eggs.

(The following are thoughts of Tyler and Sanji)

'Zoro! Zoro! - ! Loov Zoro! Hmmm, let's see, two eggs, butter, sugar, flour... I wonder if cocoa powder would make the cookies yummiflavalicious. And what about milk chocolate chips? Hmmm... I think that I will bake these for only half the time that is recommended. Oh! Look! I found a bottle of chocolate syrup in my pocket! How about some spoonfuls of that, too! MMM, I hope everyone likes chocolate like my family does!' ----This is what Tyler was thinking (obviously)

'I wonder why Tyler has only gotten up for some eggs. What type of cookie is she making with only eggs? What if she is really a world famous cookie chef in her world, and I am the only person on this ship that doesn't know about it? Hey, how about some orange zest, that will give it a nice zing, right? Hmmm, how long should I bake these for?'

Out of the kitchen...

"Bother." poke Skie poked Zoro, who was moping in a corner

"Stop that." Zoro said listlessly

"Bother, Bother." poke poke Bibs poked Zoro

"Stop it"

"Bother, Bother, BOTHER." pokepokepoke Skie poked Zoro

"BotherBotherBotherBother" pokepokepokepoke Bibs poked Zoro

"Oh, this is war! (Skie yelled to Bibs) botherbotherbotherbotherbother' pokpokepokepokepokepoek

Soon, they were bothering/poking Zoro to death. Every so often, Zoro would mumble a 'stop that', but that was about it. Finally, Skie and Bibs got tired of poking Zoro, because they got no reaction from him.

'...I know! Zoro, I shall bug you now!' Skie said, pointing to Zoro

'Okay.'

'NO! You are supposed to spaz out now!' Skie looked all mad, and had the pointy teeth spazing out mad face on. Zoro stuck his tongue out at her, and Bibs grabbed his tongue and pulled it back, and then let it go back into his mouth like a rubber band snapping back.

'THAT WAS MY TONGUE YOU ASS!' Zoro was now spazing out

'Well no shit, Sherlock.' Bibs said, pulling at her eye in the anime fashion of the hah hah way.

'Zoro, your hair is green.' Skie pointed out

'…Really?' Zoro glared at both of them. Bibs and Skie all of a sudden huddled together in a huddle, and then started to whisper something. When they came out of the huddle, they had a look in their eyes that said "We are going to pounce on you, and you can't stop us." But, alas, they didn't, because Sanji interrupted them in this way;

'Skie! Bibs! Nami-Swan! It is time for cookie tasting! Luffy, Usopp! Cookies! …and Zoro, come taste the cookies, if you must, but I won't like you being there.

The Cookie Tasting Don Don DON!

'Okay, which one do you like best?' Sanji asked

'I like cookie A.' Usopp voted, and Tyler wrote down his vote on a notebook that she found in her jacket.

'Me too.' Said Nami

'I like what ever cookie Te… Er… I like cookie B' Zoro mumbled

'I'll need a few more cookies to decide.' Skie muttered, as she ate a few dozen more.

'I prefer cookie A. It is way chocolateyer.' Bibs stated

'I like cookie… Z.' Luffy proudly said

'That is cookie A, not Z, you dumb ass!' Said Bibs

'…So?'

'…Since my vote won't matter, I'll just take a few more cookies.' Said Skie.

'Yay! I win-ned! I feel so happy!' Tyler pranced around the room singing a song about cookies

'…I didn't vote for… I voted for…' Zoro was too depressed to make sense

'…TYLER-SAN! HOW DID YOU DEFEAT ME, THE GREATEST CHEF ON EARTH!' Sanji exclaimed, pointing at Tyler

'Making desserts is in my genes.' Tyler answered

'…Your jeans? I MUST HAVE YOUR PANTS!'

'Not jeans jeans Sanji, genes genes.'

'Jeans genes?'

'No, genes.'

'Jeans?'

'No, Sanji. Making desserts is in my blood. I come from the Helm's family.'

'OMI-GOD! YOU are from the HELMS family?'

'…Yeah.'

'WOWOWOWOWOWOW!'

'Te-swan!' Yelled Zoro

'…yes?' Tyler answered, a little frightened

'I just want to know… I mean, I just wanted to ask, uh… good job?'

'…Thanks?' Tyler had a bewildered look on her face

CRASH!

'AUGH GITOFFAMEYOUCRAZYPEOPLE!'

Skie and Bibs finally got to tackle Zoro, after controlling their urge for so long, and their maniacal laughter rang out across the seas, making many people shudder in their boats. Everyone was laughing at Zoro, Skie, and Bibs, because Bibs and Skie were now tickling Zoro, and he was trying to get his swords out and control his laughing at the same time, and it looked very funny.

CRASH Tyler tackled Bibs and Skie, for tackling and tickling Zoro, and everyone ran out of the room to go to bed, because the knew what was going to happen next. Soon you could hear squeals from the kitchen, and a lot of banging noises, because they were fighting like all good, crazy friends do. You could tell that the kitchen was in horrible shape by now. Sanji was standing outside of the kitchen, staring at the door, with a really sad, puppy dog look on his face, and tears were coming down his cheeks.

'..My…poor…kitchen…'