Nyeep, I'm sooooo sorry! I meant to finish and post this /much/ sooner but I've just been so busy! -whimpers- It's been an endless cycle of work and family vacations, neither of which I can get out of xP
I don't know how I came up with this chapter though -blinks- Went way off track from what I originally had in mind, and most of what I wrote was spontanious and repetative but -shrugs- what can you do? x3
I'd like to thank all my reviewers btw! -clings and never lets go- It means so much to me to log on and find all those reviews just for little me -grins- Thankies shoooo much! xD
Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or any of its characters/ideas/etc. (aww f00 -pouts in corner-)
/Not her! Not her! Anyone but her/ He panicked at her voice, scrambling to his feet then mentally swearing at all the noise it made; he really should consider cleaning his room...it'd make it much easier to escape these predicaments…
But he couldn't face her…he couldn't face anyone…not now…/Damnit…/ This was all so stupid! Here he was, dragging himself around like an idiot all day, making a complete (or more then usual) fool of himself! /Dude, you gotta grow up…/ He scolded himself wearily, eyes wavering on the door with mild concern.
It took him a little longer to register her next words, his mind working at a sluggish pace now as depression sunk in again. 'I'm coming in' No…she couldn't…not now…any other time, just not now…why couldn't she just…"Just go away…" The words slipped from his lips so thoughtlessly, surprising even himself with their disheartened tone.
There was silence for a moment after that; a silence that he'd hoped she'd left during. But the click of his lock proved him wrong. /Damn, I forgot she could do that/ He growled to himself as he raced to the door in an attempt to close it before she got in. But – too late – The door opened abruptly, pitting Beast Boy in front of the last person he wanted to be around right now.
"Sit." Raven commanded, pointing to his bunk bed. There was something strange about her voice but he couldn't quite put his finger on it…maybe it was anger…but darn it, he hadn't done anything to her all day! If anything she should be happy with him for not bugging her!
However, as Raven glared down at him and his mind already exhausted, Beast Boy grudgingly accepted defeat, slinking over to his bed and plopping himself down on it; totally disregarding the mass of junk already existing there.
For a moment their eyes were locked, silently regarding each other and gauging what might be the problem. But Beast Boy's lack of sleep got the better of him and he turned away, blinking the fatigue from his eyes and running a hand through his extra-messy green hair. "What's wrong with you?" Was Raven's question, her voice a little softer then usual and yet so blunt and to the point.
"Nothing's wrong with me." Beast Boy retorted hotly, refusing to look her in the eyes. He couldn't. Every time he did…he just couldn't.
"You're a bad liar, you know that?" Raven said idly as she pushed some junk aside and sat next to Beast Boy on the edge of his bed. What was up with that? Did Raven ever intentionally bring herself closer to him then necessary? He felt his face flush, horribly contrasting with his green skin.
"What do you want…?" He finally asked. Might as well get this over with…
"I want to know what's wrong with you." Raven stated plainly, though he could tell by her tone of voice that 'I' meant 'we'; the other Titan's. Beast Boy sighed raggedly as he lay back on his bed, placing his hands behind his head.
There was another silent moment before Beast Boy opened his mouth, thought twice, closed it, then opened it again and choked out a very simply noun; "Terra."
Raven felt her face burn at the name. /Terra./ She'd accepted her as a friend after hearing what had really occurred from Beast Boy, after the former titan had been turned to stone defeating Slade…but at the same time she still felt a grudge against the girl. After all, she had attempted to kill them all, redemption or not, and she'd nearly succeeded. But what she really hated about her, what she really couldn't stand, was what the girl had done to Beast Boy.
And here he was, sulking over her months afterward. Or…how long had it been? When she didn't speak Beast Boy finally said something, but it was in a timid, half-heartened kind of way that didn't seem like him at all. "Today's…the one year anniversary since…she…" Raven turned slightly to get a better look at him. "Died." He whispered, nearly gagging on the word.
So he was simply grieving a fallen ally? No, it was more then that, she could see it in his eyes. Ahg, and after coming down here to comfort him all she got was the equivalent to a slap in the face! He was still set on Terra…this really was a one-sided relationship they were running, and it made her feel sick. She needed her mirror. Now. "I've got to go." She stated stiffly as she stood abruptly and took on a shadow form, but before she could sink into the floor, Beast Boy had her wrist in his hand.
What was that for? Why was he looking at her like that? So intently, so determinedly, and yet a wordless battle was going on under those eyes, threatening to bring tears into hers. "Don't look at me like that." She whispered fiercely, her anger starting to take form. She heard something crash, felt the leaping sensation in her heart letting her know she'd lost control, but his gaze never faltered, as his grip tightened, enlightening her to the fact that he was gently pulling her from the floor, lifting her to her feet.
"Raven…" He said softly, now holding both her hands in each of his. But she turned away, refused to look at him; at those deep green eyes so full of turmoil. What did he want from her? What could he expect? After all she must pale in comparison to- "I'm sorry." And he hugged her.
Faintly, as if from a dream, she heard something else shatter, and another object fall over. His room was being destroyed to a whole new degree but he didn't seem to care; his arms were still around her after all, he hadn't even flinched. "How…" Raven whispered, her voice sounding distant and detached from her own body. "How can you…do this…and just…" She was mumbling, rambling, she didn't understand what she was saying. And somehow, though he appeared to, she believed he didn't either. But it didn't matter…
"I'm sorry…" He murmured again before shifting into a small green bird and jetting out his shattered window (complimentary of Raven's outburst of energy before-hand).
And then he was gone…
/It's all my fault…/ Raven scolded herself fiercely, curling up on her bed after another day of fruitlessly searching for the missing Titan. No one had seen Beast Boy since his sudden departure a week ago. The four remaining Titan's had searched relentlessly the entire time, stopping only once to deal with a minor bank robbery. Aside from that solitary incident however, time seemed to have stopped in their world. Where there was once Beast Boy an empty void seemed to have appeared, and no matter what they did the Teen Titan's found themselves unable to cope with it.
/I should have stopped him…/ She continued to fuss over the topic in her mind, mentally reprimanding herself on why Beast Boy's disappearance was her fault when, deep down, she knew it wasn't; there was something else that caused him to leave that night, but what it was she was yet to discover. There was only one clue; Terra. Her face contorted into a glare at the recall of the name, wishing fiercely it and its owner would just vanish completely from mind and memory.
But that wasn't going to happen…
Raven rolled over on her bed, willing the pain of loss to stop but succeeding with little more victory then she had in finding Beast Boy himself. "My mirror…" She muttered suddenly, her eyes locking on to the tiny object on her dresser, her face falling into a frown again. /I still haven't used it…/ she felt an odd kind of triumph at that fact; she had been able to last so long without touching it…
And yet she couldn't bring herself to use it even if she wanted to…somehow it was just another way to run from it all; everything she'd done and hadn't done. How could she let herself relieve the pain; to throw it away when she should be punished for her lack of competence? /It's all my fault./ She repeated in her mind; that simple sentence burning a scar into her consciousness. She would not let herself make the same mistake again if given the chance. No. She would not even let herself be given the chance again.
Somehow she felt more rebellious tonight; far more reckless then before. It had taken time to sink in, the fact that he was gone and wasn't coming back. After all, beast Boy had never been gone for so long before, and he had left his communicator in her hand when he left; though she hadn't realized it until later. But now she was determined to fix the issue, no matter to what lengths she had to go.
Raven stood abruptly, waving a hand over her candles to light her dimmed room, and paced the length of her confines. Her only lead was Terra. They'd gone down to see if Beast Boy was at her grave but found that both he and Terra's remains were missing. None of them were sure what to make of that…but suddenly something clicked in Raven's mind. /He's going to try and bring her back…No. No, it's too risky, he'd have to go to enormous lengths to do that, and it wasn't possible anyway; Cyborn had been attempting to develop ways to revive Terra for the past year but without a single break-through.
/Then why now? Because it was the one year anniversary/ Or had he just cracked under the weight of the loss…as Raven did now with her friend gone, possibly forever? She wrung her fingers in frustration, her pace quickening. There was no time to rally the Titans; all of them searching wasn't getting them anywhere…she needed to find him on her own…this was her burden alone to carry; she was the only one Beast Boy had made a move to express his concern to (As Robin had continuously reminded her in an attempt to sooth her intense desire to remove herself from Titans Tower and the very city itself).
She stopped abruptly the clear autumn night outside her window caught her eye. "I'm going to find you…" She whispered fiercely, no longer perturbed with the idea of herself being so abnormally set on this goal. She was going to find him. She was going to make things right…