Elliot crept into the living room. He'd left Olivia on the couch after she'd fallen asleep. He wanted her to take the bed, but she had crashed before she'd even gotten a shower in. He cringed when the hardwood floors squeaked under his weight. The sound immediately woke her.
"Hey." She rubbed her eyes and raised her arms over her head to stretch. She smacked her lips, trying to wake up.
"Sorry. It always does that when I'm trying to be quiet for the kids. Do you want to go back to sleep? If you're up for the day, I can make some coffee." He watched her get up and start to fold the blanket he'd placed over her.
"I can't sleep after I wake up. Coffee sounds good." She set the blanket on the couch and walked with him to the kitchen.
"How'd you sleep? You catch up any from the other night?" He started making the coffee and turned to face her as the machine started.
"Good. Better than I have in a while. Thank you for letting me crash on your couch." She took a seat at the table and examined her cast. She still had to figure out a way to get into the shower without getting it wet.
"Well, you fell asleep early. I was going to force you to take my bed, but you had other plans." He chuckled and pulled out a chair to sit down.
"I don't remember much after getting here." She yawned, still feeling the past couple days.
"You were pretty wiped. I think we should talk about this guy Adam. I want to run a check on him, but I wanted to ask you first." He knew to tread carefully when it came to her personal life.
"I can run it. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about him. There was a time we knew everything about each other. He isn't exactly forthcoming with information. All the more reason I should have known something was up. What about you? Are you seeing anyone? I hate that I don't even know the answer to that." She'd felt them getting farther away from each other at work and after hours. She missed his companionship; his friendship.
"Don't be. We both let the job get to us and it affected us more than we should have let it. I'm not seeing anyone. I'm making it a priority to be there for my kids now. I missed so much of their lives growing up. I just want to be there for them now. I know I can't change the past, but I don't want to go back to the guy I was before. I don't want to be angry all the time and take it out on the ones I love. I ruined my marriage. I won't ruin my relationship with my kids. They're innocent in all this. They didn't have a say in the career I chose." He felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders. He hadn't had a deep discussion with her in a while, and it felt good to get things off his chest.
"Wow, I can't think of the last time I've seen them. How are they enjoying the time with dad? I bet you're spoiling them rotten." She was glad to see he was happier in his home life. Sometimes she wished there was a place in it for her.
"You bet. Baseball games, shopping. You tell anyone, and I will hurt you, but I like shopping with the kids. I don't even know what they're into, anymore. Did you know Lizzie likes to write music, and that Dickie wants to play the guitar? He's taking lessons now. I'm so proud of them. Maureen and Kathleen are growing up so fast. They've gotten so close in all this. I'm glad they have someone to turn to." He sat for a moment, reflecting on how well things were going, finally. He couldn't help the smile that graced his features.
"It's so good to see you happy, El. I'm happy for you. That's the way it should be." She patted his hand with hers and went to pull it away. He stopped her and squeezed it gently before looking her straight in the eye.
"I want those things for you. I want you to have kids and to see them grow up. I want you to experience the poopy diaper and three in the morning. The slobber on your shirt seconds before you have to leave for work. I want you to read a story to your child and for them to hang on every word. God, Liv, I want you to be happy, too." He reluctantly broke away when he heard the dripping in the machine cease.
"I want that, too. Sometimes I wonder if it isn't meant to be, though. If I'm just here to help other people." She drank the coffee he'd prepared for her and watched him sit back down.
"You can't do that, though. You need something for yourself or it'll eat you away. It already has. Don't let it, because you're too young to be unhappy. Come to the park with us this weekend." He saw her start to protest and held his hand up.
"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?" She grinned and held the cup between her hands. She stared down at her reflection. She hardly recognized her own image. She had changed. Maybe she did need to get out and experience life.
"'Course not. I'll tell the kids you're coming. They'll be glad to see you again." He got up and took a sip of his coffee before setting it back onto the table.
"What should I bring? Do the kids like pasta salad?" She hadn't made anything in a while. The idea of being domestic was surprisingly appealing to her. She was glad for the chance to get out for a while.
"Whatever you want. You don't have to bring anything, though. You're a guest, but pasta salad would be fine, Liv." He scooted the chair in and held up the pot of coffee. After she shook her head, he poured the rest out.
"Great. That sounds like fun. Thank you, Elliot." She smiled, letting her teeth show.
"You should smile more." He loved seeing her relax. The fact that she could in all that was happening with her boyfriend was a wonder to him. He'd take it, though.
"Yeah, well…"She let her voice trail off. She got up from the table and stared down at her cast. Frowning, she glanced around the room.
"If you want something to cover that up with so you can take a shower, I was thinking you could use a bag or something. I'll tape it across your fingers at the top so the water doesn't get in. The bottom should be pretty easy. You ever do the routine one-handed?" He got out a bag and some tape from the drawer and motioned for her hand.
"First time for everything. I'm so glad they didn't give me pink. It'd be hard to be the bad-ass cop with a bubble gum-colored cast." She watched him expertly tear the bag down one side and wrap it around her wrist. He folded the top and taped it just above where her cast started and applied the tape. She turned her hand over so he could tape the other side.
"I've noticed you're not that crazy about pink. What don't you like about it? That it's girly?" He pressed the bag so it was tight around her arm and taped the bottom. He hadn't thought about the removal process. The hair on her arm would make it less than pleasant to get the tape off, he thought.
"I just don't care for it. As a kid, I was never into floral prints or colors that should be assigned to every girl on the face of the planet. I liked to do my own thing. My favorite color has always been blue. I wear other colors, but I like blue. I don't believe in pink." She smiled at his expression.
"You don't believe in pink? What does that even mean?" He chuckled and watched her find a way to explain.
"Okay, well, I had this thing when I was in my twenties. I don't know. I was shopping with a classmate and we were going around telling each other what would look good on the other person. She had this bright pink top that would have just lit up the room, had there been a black light. Think eighties. Hot pink. I hated the color and I told her I didn't believe in it. I guess anything I didn't like, I didn't believe in. That doesn't make sense, does it?" She shook her head and felt her face grow hot.
"Sometimes I don't know about you, Liv. No need to be embarrassed. I've never heard anyone put it that way, that's all. It's interesting. It's you." It was like her to come up with something like that. She always was a little goofy. Then again, he'd never been accused of being ultra hip. They balanced each other out, he thought.
"I'm weird. Tell me something I don't know. I'm going to shower. Thanks for the wrap job and the coffee." She left the kitchen, leaving him to shake his head.
Olivia emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later with a towel wrapped around her waist. She held it tightly with her good hand and shivered as she was met with a blast of cold air from the hallway. She noticed Elliot's light was on in his room and tapped on the door before adjusting the towel. She heard a muffled response before the door finally opened.
"Sorry. I was just finishing up. Do you need something to wear?" He'd never seen her in a towel before.
"Yeah. I didn't think about that before I went in there. Sorry. This is awkward, huh?" She blushed, wondering what was going through his mind.
"A little. I've got some shorts, sweats, track pants. I think they'll fit you. I've got a t-shirt in there somewhere. I'm kind of running out of clean clothes, though. If you need socks, you're on your own." He held the door open so she could come in and went to retrieve an outfit." He rifled through the drawers and pulled out the mentioned items.
"Thanks. Those will work." She pointed to the track pants he pulled out and took the t-shirt from him.
"Not a problem. Get back in there, you're freezing." He watched her walk away and adjusted the thermostat. He pulled out his socks and shoes and finished his morning routine with the news in the background.
"Thanks again. I'll be sure to wash them so you won't have as much to wash. Can you help me pull the tape off?" She held out her arm and closed her eyes, preparing herself for the sting.
"On three. One, two…" He pulled it off in one quick motion and winced as she cursed him.
"I thought you said on three? Now my arm is going to be red all day." She rubbed the spot on her arm where the tape had been.
"I knew if you were expecting it, it would be worse. It's all about psychology. Sorry about the tape. I didn't take that into consideration. Do you want some lotion or something?" He tossed her a bottle of Jergens one of the girls had left over and watched her apply it.
"Thanks. You ready to head?" She watched him turn off the television and nod.
"Do you need me to drop you off so you can get your clothes?" He followed her out of the room and grabbed his keys from the table.
"I should be fine. You don't need to go all the way over there. I have some clothes at the precinct. I don't have much in the way of makeup, though. The guys will have to see me without foundation. All I have is powder." She walked into the hallway and moved aside so he could lock the door.
"You look fine, Liv. So, what are we doing about Adam? I don't mind if you stay over, but I really think we need to deal with him. Do you know where he lives?" He walked down the steps of his apartment and unlocked the door to the car.
"I've never been there. To tell you the truth, I didn't want to be alone at his place. Most of the time, he came over to mine. A couple weeks ago his car broke down and he had to take the subway back home. I remember him saying he had to take the L train, so it must have been in Brooklyn." She I should have paid more attention, but I knew I wasn't going over there, so it didn't matter, at the time. She got in and latched the seat belt.
"I hate to be paranoid, but I bet he's got a file. Run a check on him and see if he has a last known address. We'll go from there. Do you have your pills? I was reading the information, and it should be alright to take one when you're at work." He looked into his rear-view mirror and glared. Damn tailgaters.
"As long as I'm not loopy. I can't even take cold medicine without getting loopy." She noticed his expression and looked into the side mirror.
"That's probably just as well. I hate taking stuff. I'd rather suffer." He shifted in his seat and resisted the urge to tap the brakes.
"You mean you'd rather us suffer. The last time you refused to take something, we all ended up sick because you'd rather ride it out, as you put it at the time." She did air quotes.
"Yeah, yeah." He watched her pull out the pill bottle and shake out one before closing the cap. He grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to her.
"Thanks. You sure you don't need it?" She downed a pill and wiped her hand with the back of her mouth.
"Nah. Let me grab a drink and you can have the rest. Is your wrist hurting a lot?" He took a few gulps and set the bottle back down.
"Throbbing, actually. I don't want it to get unbearable." She looked in the mirror again as he turned the corner.
"Well, don't overdo it. We're going to be on our asses again, I can already feel it. I wonder if CSU came up with anything." He followed her gaze and looked into the mirror again.
"I hope so. If they did, then we can canvass the neighborhood around the warehouse. Maybe someone saw something. We sure as hell aren't going to get anything from the precinct over there." She scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Doesn't matter. All the names he gave me were useless. No one checked out." He pulled up to a red light and turned his blinker on. The car behind followed. He craned his neck around in his seat.
"Asshole has been riding us the whole way here. Why is he turning here?" She glanced at the station and then turned around in her seat. She knew the answer already. She whipped her head back around and ducked in her seat.
"I don't kn…what?" He turned his attention back onto the light as it changed, all the while glancing at his partner.
"Elliot, that's Adam's car. He followed us here. To the precinct. Who does that?" She had no idea he was that serious. She had a sinking feeling that she had misjudged him all along, and that her instincts had been right on the money. Damn.
"Him, apparently. He's either got some balls, he's stupid, or he's that crazy. I hope it's not the latter, because it's too early in the morning to be dealing with some psycho." He pulled into the lot and looked over to see the car pass by. It kept going, and he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.
"Oh, this could be bad if he shows up there. Elliot, I can't afford for him to cause a scene. What should I do?" She got out of the car and waited for him to join her.
"I think you need to tell the Captain about this. That's twice he's followed us, Liv. It's beyond coincidence now. Give him a head's up. What's done is done. He doesn't hold grudges. We've all been frustrated as hell a time or two. He won't hold what happened yesterday against you. Just go in there and tell him what's up. Want me to go in with you?" He opened the door for her and followed her through.
"No. I'll be fine. You're right, though. I'm sure he's fine with everything. I do owe him an apology." She rapped lightly on the door before entering.
"The person I want to see. Close the door." He waited until the door had shut before getting up.
"Well, I was going to discuss something with you, but something tells me that is going to wait. What's going on?" She saw his tight expression. He was trying to keep his anger in check. She, most likely, was the cause.
"A week without pay and a write-up in your file. If you ever go against my orders again, there will further action taken. Damnit, Olivia, what were you two thinking?" He stared at her, feeling her fear. He hated being put in the position he was in.
"Wh…what? Look, I'm sorry. It was my fault we were even in the area. I take full responsibility." She stepped back against the door, giving her some space. She wasn't scared; she just wanted to distance herself from the situation.
"I told you to sit on your ass and what do you do? You get up and traipse around the city. You couldn't stop there. You had to go and make a scene. You're lucky I got you out of it, Benson, because the next time your ass will be in a sling and I will not do this again. Do I make myself clear?" He took a seat back at his desk.
"I apologize for my insubordination, but I don't know what you're talking about. Making a scene? When?" She leaned over his desk and shook her head. She had no idea what was going on.
"At the precinct. Did you think I wouldn't find out? Jesus, Olivia, throwing yourself at another officer? Do you know what that charge would have looked like on your permanent record?" He pulled a sheet of paper off the printer and slid over to her, none too gently. He watched her face take on a shocked expression.
"You're kidding me. Is this some kind of joke? I didn't do this, Captain. You've got to believe me. I'm guilty of going there after you said not to, but I didn't do this. Please tell me you believe me." She let out a shaky breath and ran a hand through her hair. She still had yet to change. She looked and felt like shit.
"This is a serious matter, Olivia. There were witnesses. I can't let this go unnoticed, dropped charges or not." He saw her eyes well up, but she remained stoic. He felt guilty for unloading on her, but he had a reputation to uphold. He couldn't play favorites.
"What witnesses? The door was closed. I'm sorry, but does witness not mean that you saw it, personally? I must have a different definition. I'm telling you, I didn't do anything!" She slapped her hand on the desk and stood. She was desperate. Her career flashed before her eyes.
"You're lucky you aren't suspended. I suggest you stop before you get yourself in trouble further. Get changed and go to work." He motioned to the door and watched her leave. He thought he could trust her, that he knew her.
Olivia resisted the urge to slam the door. She stalked past Elliot and stomped into the locker room. She yanked open the door and changed her clothes before slamming it shut again. She wasn't going anywhere for a week. Screw it, she thought. She couldn't care less that she had no makeup on. She pushed open the locker room door and walked out into the bullpen. She couldn't remember the last time she had been so angry.
"Shit. Son of a bitch!" She rested her forearm on the wall and leaned her head on her cast.
"What happened in there? Did he give you a detail?" Elliot gently grabbed her hand turned her body to face him.
"No. We didn't get that far. You want to know why?" She was seething.
"Maybe we should sit down. Come on." He led her to her desk and sat her down before sitting on the edge. He saw Fin and Munch watching them out of the corner of his eye.
"That asshole Jackson went to his superiors and told them I threw myself at him. Oh, and it gets better. A week without pay. I can't afford that. My rent is due. I need to pay for my metro card. This can't happen to me. Elliot, Cragen put it in my file. I'm going to lose my job, I just know it." She groaned and rubbed her temples with her fingertips.
"Whoa. Slow down, Liv." He saw John and Fin approaching and leaned in to rub her back.
"Cragen left to follow up with the DA. Lay it on us. What are we missing here?" John stood next to Olivia and took in her appearance. She was a wreck. Seeing she wasn't going to talk, he waited for Elliot to fill them in.
"Some asshole got his hands on her yesterday when we were looking into the warehouse thing. Now he's claiming she came onto him. Jackass can't get any so he takes it out on her." He couldn't believe Cragen would believe such a thing.
"That's bullshit. You wouldn't do anything like that. Is that guy pressing charges, Olivia?" Fin walked up behind John. All eyes were on their friend.
"No. I should be so lucky, but captain is still looking into it. He said Jackson had witnesses, Elliot. Who the hell is he talking about?" She got up again and started pacing the room.
"He's probably just making shit up, Liv. You know I have your back. If it comes to it, bring the desk sergeant into the mix. Don't you think his little comment was suggestive to this guy having issues?" He stepped in front of her and grabbed a pen she'd gotten a hold of. The incessant clicking was driving him crazy.
"Shit, I don't know. I can't lose my job." She leaned against the wall and looked up at the ceiling.
"You won't lose your job. We'll vouch for you, Liv. You have an impeccable reputation. The powers that be are bound to see that. The fact that you aren't even suspended says something. Do you need some money?" John went back to his desk and grabbed his wallet.
"No, I'm just freaking out. I have some tax money if I need it. Thanks anyway, John. Look, I'm going to get some air. Come get me when Warren gets here. I need to do something productive." The minute she was greeted with fresh air, she took a deep breath. What was she going to do?