Fin tore through the squad room with Munch in tow. Both were seething. He stalked up to the captain, who was trying his best not to look like a kicked puppy.
"Thanks for coming." Cragen surveyed the squad room. A maintenance worker was cleaning the floor. He couldn't look at it any further; the evidence of what he'd seen. He ushered his confused detectives into his office and shut the door.
"What the hell happened here?" Munch got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach when he'd been told to come. He wasn't sure who was involved; he had a feeling he didn't want to know.
"Olivia was attacked right after you guys left; by someone she apparently knew. She managed to get a hold of Elliot and he called me afterward. I came as fast as I could. The guy got pretty rough with her, though." Cragen spoke slowly, each word dripping with anger.
"Wait, what? We just saw her. How the hell does a cop get attacked in a police station?" Fin scowled and kneaded his closed fist with his hand.
"That's what I'm trying to figure out. You were all on cases. No one else was around. How does this guy know Olivia? What's his story?" Cragen sat on the corner of his desk, not wanting any distance to come between him finding out what the hell was going on.
"I don't know much. Olivia said his name earlier. I think it was Adam. She and Elliot were looking him up but it didn't look like they got any hits. He must be going by something else. I'm sure he has a rap sheet. I'll check him out once they print him. The guy's been calling her, too. She was going to tell you this morning but with all that was going on…" He let the last word hang. It wasn't the time to point fingers.
"I still regret it but I had to do it. I didn't have a choice in that matter. I know you think I did, but I had to investigate it." Cragen looked up at the ceiling as if he expected something to fall from the sky.
"Doesn't mean we have to like it. That Jackson was being a dick. He's the one who should be investigated. Now this other guy's in the picture. Is she okay?" It was the first time Fin had even thought of Olivia's condition. He was blinded by his own rage that the crimson droplets and handprints on the desk were from a victim. That victim was Olivia. Damn.
"Elliot called just before you got here. He said they just finished the initial exam. She's got a lot of deep tissue bruising and she'll be pretty sore for a while. Her hand is fine, though, the one she broke earlier. They put her out for the rest of the exam, though, to make her comfortable. I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to come out and tell you. He…he….damn. I'm afraid this is going to be one of our cases." He averted his gaze to the sight just outside his window. He watched the words sink in and both of his detectives paled instantly.
"Oh, Liv." It was all Munch could say. He shook his head and closed his eyes so the moisture wouldn't show.
"Look, I've got to get this place back in some sort of working order. If you go up there, tell her I'll check in once I've got this wrapped up." Cragen knew John had no idea he'd witnessed the assault. He wasn't in any kind of mood to say anything about it, though." He opened the door and watched his detectives walk out and into the bullpen.
John dropped his head and brought a hand up to his face. He took one look at the caution tape surrounding the squad room and let out a sickened laugh. Caution against what? The unthinkable had already happened.
ooo
Elliot sat out in the hallway, waiting on Olivia to be moved to her room. He looked up to see her being wheeled in his direction. He pushed off the bench and stood awkwardly. He looked into the room while they got her situated. The nurses left the room, and the doctor's back was to Elliot. He couldn't tell what was being said but he could just barely see Olivia's slight nod. She was coherent enough to make conversation. He observed the two from a distance before seeing the doctor motion him in.
"Detective Stabler, come in. I was just leaving. I'll see you later, Olivia. Get some rest." Dr. Peterson waved to the detectives before leaving.
"Hey." He saw her fighting the urge to go back to sleep. A million thoughts went through his mind. An apology for not being there sooner, for not having prevented it in the first place. A question of her condition, although he knew it was silly to ask. A fear that what happened would break her beyond repair. A vow to bring justice to her so that she could live in peace. The need to be there for her stifled the distractions, allowing her to get his undivided attention.
"Can you hand me some water?" Olivia motioned to the pitcher on the tray beside the bed. She could see the condensation on the outside.
"Sure." Elliot poured a glass and watched her drink it slowly before setting it down.
"Thanks. How long have I been here? It feels like forever." She tried to put her game face on. She was still tired from the sedatives and she felt vulnerable.
"A couple hours. Do you need me to get you anything else?" He saw her shiver and looked around for a blanket. He spotted one folded up on a chair and placed it over her, smoothing the edges when he was done.
"Thank you. It's like a deep freeze in here. Think I'm going to crash now. You don't have to stay. I won't be very good company." She tried to roll over on her side and winced. She grabbed the rail and cursed.
"Hey, take it easy. You have some stitches. I'll stay for a while. I don't have anywhere else to be. Besides, it's nothing new to talk to you and not have you answer." Elliot nudged her good hand and waited until she opened it so that he could hold it. He wanted to offer her every ounce of strength he had. He saw her grin and couldn't help but notice how even with her face contorted in pain, she could still light up a room with the faintest of smiles.
"I remember…now. That was stupid. Thanks." She eased her grip after several moments and plopped her head back down on the bed.
"You're welcome. Do you need anything for the pain?" He was concerned that she'd just been checked out and was hurting. Surely they would have her doped up
"I think I'll just sleep it off. Thanks, though." She rested her hand on the bed and closed her eyes. She felt him take her hand once again. She squeezed lightly, already drifting off to sleep.
ooo
The next time Olivia woke it was dark outside. She fumbled for the light switch and flinched when a hand caught hers.
"I'm sorry, Olivia, it's just me. I didn't mean to startle you." Cragen pulled back and let her push the button
"Captain?" Olivia hadn't yet begun to think of what she would say to him when she saw him. She was beyond embarrassed and still feeling the effects of his reaming from earlier.
"Yeah. I sent Elliot home. Fin and Munch stopped by, too. They said to tell you hi. They didn't want to wake you. Do you need anything?" Cragen sat back down in his chair and studied her features. She seemed withdrawn, as if she felt guilty. He saw something else, too. Fear. Was she afraid of him? Did she honestly think he hadn't tried to stop it? Was it shame?
"Maybe some water. My throat is still dry." Olivia took the offered cup of water and sipped slowly, letting the tepid water ease her parched throat.
"The nurses will be here in a bit to check on you. They said you were last on their list. That way you could sleep. Do you need anything for the pain?" Cragen couldn't help but notice her wince as she shifted on the bed.
"Actually, yeah. I could use something if you don't mind flagging someone down. If they're not going to be long, don't worry about it." Olivia felt the burning and closed her legs, willing it to cease. She bit her lip and hissed through her teeth, unable to find a comfortable position.
"I'll go check. Be right back. Sit tight." Cragen couldn't get up fast enough and in moments he returned with the nurse trying her best to keep up.
"Alright, Miss Benson, I'm just going to give you something to take the edge off. I don't want to give you anything too strong. You'll feel a lot better in a bit, just give it time to work. I'll come back in a half hour to examine you." The nurse emptied her syringe into the port slowly before jotting down the necessary information.
"Thank you. When can I leave?" Olivia felt the fog overtake her brain again and she felt her eyelids grow heavy.
"Sometime tomorrow after the doctor makes his rounds. He'll want to make sure you're progressing nicely and that you're healing. You had a bit of a temperature so we're monitoring that, as well. He starts his rounds at noon, but no promises. He doesn't believe in discharging patients until the last possible minute. Let me know if you need anything else." The nurse left Olivia alone and glanced at her watch, a subtle sign that it was almost time for Cragen to leave.
"Damn. I hate losing it. Sorry." Olivia wiped a tear from her eye as the day's events caught up with her fully. There was something about the night that made the cold, dark world so hard to bear.
"No need to apologize. I believe I owe you an apology, though. I overreacted and I'm sorry. I had to investigate the incident with Jackson. Consider it closed. I uh…I feel like I'm partly to blame, here. I keep going over our conversation in my head. If I had handled it better, you would have been able to tell me about this Adam guy. You don't know how sorry I am." Cragen could still see her bruised body, fighting to break free from that monster. He still heard her silent pleas for him to help her.
"I know you did what you had to do. I don't blame you, Captain. I was angry at the time that you didn't trust me. That you didn't believe in me. That wasn't me, Don. I'm not that kind of person. I…I wish I could go back to yesterday, you know? I would have trusted my gut instincts." Olivia let her words linger. Neither spoke until Cragen cleared his throat, buying him a few more seconds.
"Olivia, you don't have to convince me of anything. It's over and done with. Let's move on. Concentrate on getting back on your feet. We have Adam, a.k.a Timothy Sharp in custody for what he did. He won't see the light of day anytime soon. I'll see to that. And you are not to blame. We see this kind of thing all the time. This time was no different than what we've seen in the past. You've never blamed the victim. Don't start by blaming yourself." Cragen watched Olivia fight sleep and regretted bringing it up at all. He hoped she'd sleep peacefully.
"Thanks. I can't really think clearly right now. I'm so tired." Olivia yawned and closed her eyes to block out the light. She heard his footsteps as he reached over and pushed the button for her.
"Why don't you get some rest? I'm about to be kicked out. Fin and Munch are on your case starting tomorrow. Elliot said he was going to try and stop by in the morning. Get some sleep, Olivia. You did good." He saw her nod and finally give in to the sleep that so desperately wanted to take over her body. He observed her for a bit before leaving. It wasn't until he made the slow, lonely trek to his car that he let the tears fall.