Borrowed Empathy : Chapter 7.

When Tatsumi awoke again, it was quieter.

In fact, it was almost pleasant. For the first time all day, he felt like he had some modicum of control over these new empathic abilities. He felt like… himself… with an added layer of psychic awareness. His head still hurt, quite badly, but otherwise, it was bearable.

His eyes still closed, he reached out with his empathy, realizing that he could (thankfully) no longer scan the entire ministry! The range of his abilities had lessened considerably, and there were very few souls left in the surrounding rooms. It was a blessed relief. The entire building was quieter, and there were less voices clamoring for his attention.

Maybe Watari was right… Maybe it was a good thing that he had slept until nightfall… If asked, he would never admit it to the scientist, of course… No, he had some serious consequences in mind for those two conspirators…

On that thought, Tatsumi quickly scanned the room with his feelings and realized that both Watari and Hisoka had left. There were only two auras left in the room.

PURPLE… and RED…

Red?

Tatsumi slowly opened his eyes.

A flash of brilliant purple met his gaze, as Tsuzuki gave him a dazzling smile, and he could not help but smile back.

"How are you feeling, Tatsumi?" said the other shinigami gently.

"It's better, now, thank you," said the secretary politely.

He sat up, retrieved his glasses, and putting his glasses on his nose, threw a quick glance around the room. There was noone else in the room. He scowled.

"What's wrong?" said Tsuzuki immediately, still in a gentle tone.

Tatsumi pushed his glasses up his nose. "N-nothing," he replied, slightly confused. He tried to focus on Tsuzuki, but the other presence was too strong to ignore.

POWER.

He could sense enormous power… Was it a demon? No… The presence had no malevolence… no malice…

Kindness… Protection…

Or was that coming from Tsuzuki?

He shook his head. It was difficult to be an empath! Now, he understood why Hisoka was always so quiet and aloof! He was constantly sorting out the extra souls he could sense with his abilities.

"Tatsumi?" questioned his former partner quietly.

He sighed. "I apologize," he replied. "It's just…"

He glanced once again at the empty space behind Tsuzuki, who followed his gaze before looking back at him curiously.

"Is there someone else here? I feel… someone… powerful…" Tatsumi scowled in concentration, pressing his lips together. "Very powerful…" he whispered.

For a second, Tsuzuki frowned back at him in confusion. Then, suddenly, he clapped a hand down on his shoulder and burst into joyous laughter.

"OH! Ho-ho! No! Tatsumi! Don't worry!" he cried, laughing and laughing. "That was just Byakko!"

"Your tiger?!" Tatsumi blinked in total bewilderment. "You… summoned… Byakko… here-WHY?!" he blurted.

"To watch over you," answered Tsuzuki without missing a beat.

Tatsumi's heart DID skip a beat. He was at a loss for words for a moment.

"Why?" he asked again blankly.

Tsuzuki laughed again, and the sound was like music. It made his chest tighten and his whole body relax at the same time. It made everything in purgatory suddenly right.

"Because you were asleep! And I had to go get you some food, and I didn't want to leave you alone…" the purple-eyed man answered easily, sounding like an innocent child.

Warmth. Protection.

Promise.

"Oh," said Tatsumi blankly, once again at a loss for words.

Nervousness.

Suddenly, the handsome, strong, powerful man sitting on the edge of his bed reverted to the shy, vulnerable, fragile child he had seen so many times before. Tsuzuki's frailty made him even more beautiful sometimes. Now, he was downright adorable.

Tsuzuki blushed and looked at him shyly. "I promised to be here when you woke up, and… I tried to be fast, but still, I wanted Byakko here… you know, just in case… um…" he stammered.

"Thank you, Tsuzuki," Tatsumi responded calmly.

On impulse, he reached out and took hold of Tsuzuki's hand.

LOVE. KINDNESS. DESIRE. UNDERSTANDING.

Tatsumi gasped and yanked his hand back quickly as he was hit was a flood of very strong feelings coming from the other man.

"What?! What's wrong?!" Tsuzuki gasped.

There was hurt in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced with worry.

"N-nothing! Nothing," Tatsumi stammered quickly. He took a couple breaths to calm himself and tried to concentrate. "Really, I'm fine. Please don't be alarmed. I am just not used to… these abilities…"

Tsuzuki breathed a sigh of relief and reached for a nearby basket.

"Here, I brought dinner," he said.

"Did you cook it?" Tatsumi asked bluntly, giving him a pointed glare.

"No, why?" Tsuzuki asked, pretending to be oblivious to the insult.

"Because your cooking is inedible," said the secretary in his usual stern tone and ever-direct manner.

Tsuzuki only laughed, and again, the sound melted his heart. "Aww, well, you're clearly back to your usual self!" he exclaimed happily.

Tatsumi watched patiently as Tsuzuki began pulling cookies and apples from the basket. It wasn't exactly a dinner, but at least he hadn't tried to cook a meal.

Tsuzuki took a small knife and began to peel the apple, and Tatsumi was entranced, watching him. His young, childlike face bent in concentration… his strong hands working around the fruit… his white shirt partially opened to show that bare throat… and those eyes, those unearthly jewel eyes, sparkling under his chocolate bangs…

Tatsumi shook himself. Suddenly the sight of a knife in Tsuzuki's hands triggered his protective instincts.

"Here, let me," he commanded softly. "You'll hurt yourself."

The younger shinigami just blushed and smiled as Tatsumi gently took the knife and the apple from his hands, relinquishing control to the other man. It seemed like no matter what the situation, Tatsumi would always be the one protecting him.

"Always looking out for me, aren't you?" he murmured.

"Mmm," Tatsumi grunted quietly with a nod.

The blue-eyed man easily peeled and sliced the apple, and they shared it in silence. For several long minutes, the only sound was the clock on the wall and the crunching of the apples, but Tatsumi was certain that his own racing heart was loud enough for Tsuzuki to hear, too.

"How's your head?" Tsuzuki's voice got his attention.

He nodded seriously. "I still have quite the headache, but it will pass."

"Yeah, Soka gets headaches a lot, especially if he's around lots of people," chatted Tsuzuki, munching on his apple.

"Being an empath is… most difficult," Tatsumi admitted. "I can understand his need for complete control…"

"Because of your shadow magic?" Tsuzuki winked and grabbed a cookie.

The secretary nodded silently, getting out of bed to pour a glass of water.

Hesitation. Curiosity. Respect.

"I know you don't like to talk about it much but… are they cold?"

"What?" asked Tatsumi simply.

"Your shadows… are they cold? I've always wondered…"

Tsuzuki looked at him with those molten amethyst eyes, and he melted.

"Yes, they are cold… and unconditionally obedient," he stated factually but not unkindly.

Tsuzuki threw a quick, cautious glance at the corners of the room, but the shadows held their places, indicating that their master was once again back to his normal self.

"Well, I'm glad you're feeling better," he chuckled softly.

Tatsumi didn't seem to have heard him. He checked his watch and sighed heavily. It was nearly 7:30. He had lost the entire day… an entire work day… and had accomplished none of his paperwork.

An entire day behind meant twice as much work to do tomorrow… He recalled the mountain of papers on his desk and did the math in his head. There was no way he could finish today's work along with everything he had to do tomorrow in just one day.

"I'm going back to my office to get some work done," he said abruptly, but he quickly softened his tone and added, "You should go home, Tsuzuki."

Tsuzuki caught him by the arm, re-directing him smoothly towards the bed.

"No. No work. Soka warned me you were going to say that," he grinned easily and with a quick, friendly shove, he tossed Tatsumi down onto the bed. "You just rest."

"I've been resting all day," the secretary shot back, mildly surprised by Tsuzuki's playfulness, and mildly annoyed with Hisoka for orchestrating this whole situation. "Under duress, I might add," he muttered.

Of course, Hisoka wanted him to stay here tonight…

"Yeah, well, I haven't, and I'm exhausted. Soka said I should sleep with you here, tonight!" exclaimed Tsuzuki, sounding like a petulant child but smiling radiantly. Then, he blushed a bright scarlet with a mortified look on his face. "I mean, sleep here! With you! Not… sleep… with you… here…"

He ran a hand quickly through his hair, and Tatsumi had to control himself not to laugh outwardly at his embarrassment, which was utterly charming.

Instead, he composed himself and said smoothly, "Your young partner has quite an extraordinary ability. This experience has actually given me a great deal of respect for that young man."

Tsuzuki gulped and hurried to change the topic. "I don't know what got into those two! Watari should know better than to try anything on you… I just don't get it. I mean, why on earth would they do this to you?!"

To get you and I in bed together… Tatsumi thought to himself.

He didn't tell Tsuzuki the real answer. Instead, he composed himself again and said simply, "They had good intentions…"

Tsuzuki gave him a firm but unimpressed look that clearly said he knew Tatsumi was being evasive.

Tatsumi stiffened. He sat up taller, with his usual proud, dignified posture.

"Very well. Apparently, they were both under the impression that I am a stubborn workaholic who needs to loosen up…" he confessed. "And that I am both cold and incapable of understanding the feelings of others."

Although the words were delivered with his usual unemotional, stern tone, and his usual dignified attitude, there was a trace of hurt in his sapphire blue eyes.

Tsuzuki winced, hurting for him, and Tatsumi saw it.

That man had never needed empathic skills to read him. Tsuzuki's ability to feel for everyone around him was sometimes a burden for him, but it also made him the kindest man Tatsumi had ever met. Sometimes, though, he forgot how well Tsuzuki really knew him.

Sometimes, he forgot that Tsuzuki could see past all his walls and shields to what he really felt inside. This was one of those times, so he was not at all prepared for the rush of emotions that suddenly flooded him from the other man.

"That's not true at all," Tsuzuki whispered. "I mean… You've always been nice to me."

The words were soft, but they made Tatsumi forget to breathe.

Tsuzuki put a hand gently on the side of his face.

"Seiichirou… I've always known how you feel about me."

Tatsumi blinked at him in blatant shock. He had always tried to be subtle.

"You have?" he asked in quiet amazement.

"My guardian in the shadows…" said Tsuzuki, beaming at him.

Tatsumi had never been one to ouvertly show his feelings, but he felt compelled to say something, now. He blushed, unable to find the words.

"And… I know that you… care for me, too," he finally managed.

Tsuzuki laughed softly. "Well then, what are we waiting for?"

Somehow, they had both ended up seated on the bed. Tsuzuki was leaning over Tatsumi with his arms wrapped lightly around the larger man's wide shoulders, and their foreheads were pressed together.

Tatsumi's eyes were closed. He shook his head, sadly. He had to be the strong and stable one in this partnership. Tsuzuki was too fragile. No matter how much he wanted to, he loved Tsuzuki too much to be with him. A relationship could not be built upon hurt and pity. It was not logical or smart or healthy. Tatsumi would always do the right thing, especially for Tsuzuki's sake.

"You are not ready," he whispered sorrowfully but firmly. "You're getting better, and Kurosaki-kun is helping you, but you're still not ready."

He opened sapphire blue eyes to gaze into purple ones.

"Kyoto wasn't that long ago, remember?" he murmured gently.

A slight sheen of tears glistened in Tsuzuki's eyes, and he nodded slowly, knowing that Tatsumi was right, as usual. Still, he pressed his forehead against Tatsumi's as he closed his eyes.

"It's okay, Zuki… I am damaged, too," Tatsumi soothed him, rubbing his back with one hand. "We are what we are… Every shinigami has their own personal hell. That's why we live here, in purgatory. And maybe we cannot ever have peace until we move on to final judgment, but no matter what, I'll always be here for you. I promise."

And he would. He had sworn to himself to always protect Tsuzuki from the first day they had met.

"Stay with me, then," came the pleading whisper.

"Zuki…" he breathed.

Tatsumi held him and reached out with his empathy.

There was no guilt, no pain, no sadness, no self-loathing, no desperation… no hurt that needed to be fixed… just…

Love, contentment, wanting… and happiness.

This was right.

Tatsumi smiled. "All right," he relented. "Just this once. Just for tonight."

And Tsuzuki smiled with his eyes closed and nuzzled his face with their foreheads together.

Happiness.

EXCITEMENT!

"Seiichirou! I almost forgot, look what I brought!" Tsuzuki cried.

Tatsumi flinched backwards, as Tsuzuki produced a cinnamon roll from seemingly nowhere and, before he could blink, had already taken a bite out of it.

Tatsumi couldn't help it. A warm smile appeared on his face as he watched the childlike man he loved so much, and finally, he made a decision.

He grabbed hold of Tsuzuki by his shirt collar and pressed a gentle kiss on his silky lips.

Tsuzuki was not even surprised. He simply smiled and wrapped his arms around Tatsumi, happily cuddling close to him.

Tatsumi kissed him again, tasting the sugar on his lips. He had never liked cinnamon rolls very much before, but suddenly they were the most delicious food he had ever tasted.

They continued to kiss, until finally they finished the cinnamon roll together, one icing flavored kiss at a time.

Eventually, Tsuzuki fell asleep with his face buried against Tatsumi's chest, and as Tatsumi laid there, holding the slightly smaller man in his arms, it occurred to him that for the first time in his long, long afterlife he felt truly… happy.

Maybe this crazy scheme of theirs wasn't so idiotic after all… not that he would ever admit it, of course.