I still miss you but my aim's gettin' better.
I met her in a treehouse dead all over
I can still recall that creepy smile she wore;
She was crawlin' through the prairie in the twilight,
and I knew that she would be a crashing bore;
I knew deep down I'd punch her out forever;
She said to me there was no other guy;
But who'd have thought she'd wind up with no clothes on;
I pushed her off the bridge and waved goodbye.
I met her in a treehouse dead all over: Damn, Legolas thought, not another crazed fangirl. And what on Middle Earth is the matter with this poor tree? It almost looks dead. Someone should talk to Celebron about it.
I can still recall that creepy smile she wore; Legolas warded the girl off, and backed away. "Really," he said, shirvering at her demented smile. "You'd like Haldir or Rumil much, much better than me. Or Orophin."
She was crawlin' through the prairie in the twilight, Filthy, Legolas thought, now having backed up onto a brindge the spanned between two trees. What did she do, crawl all the way here? Is that a bruise, or dirt? Did she crawl in the dark?
and I knew that she would be a crashing bore; "I love you, great, sexy, manly, beautiful, wonderful, skilled warrior elf," the girl professed. Can't anyone be original these days, Legolas wondered. Like i haven't heard THAT 12,000 times before.
I knew deep down I'd punch her out forever; "Hey," Legolas shouted. "Keep away from me! I mean it! I have no qualms about hitting females, or may-sues, or whatever my fan writers are calling them these days!" Lifting a fist, "I said, KEEP AWAY!"
She said to me there was no other guy; "Ther is no one else for me, O prince of mine!" the fangirl shouted. Yeah, thought Legolas, and what about Aragorn and Haldir and Rumil and Glorfindel and Ororphin and Celebron?
But who'd have thought she'd wind up with no clothes on; "No," shrieked Legolas," Please keep your cloths on, I have no desire to do anything with you, no please, this is really uncomfortable... OH, MY BEAUTIFUL, PRECIOUS VERGIN EYES! IT BURNS! PUT IT ALL BACK ON PLEASE!"
I pushed her off the bridge and waved goodbye. Legolas flailed his arms wildlyin terror. "What? Where did she go?" Legolas peeks over the edge of the bridge. "Oops, I gues I can go back to sleep now, farewell!"