Art Of Deceiving
Chapter 3
By Nanashi Bakemono.
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"GAH!"
"Yo."
A singular black gloved hand was raised in mock salute.
Meanwhile, Ryoko was just starring at the man that had just recently, intruded on her privacy not to mention her sensei's home! All rational thoughts had flown out of the window, with her mind filled with different ideas as to why this man was here. Most of which, involved the forceful taking or kidnapping of a certain brown-haired chuunin.
While her thoughts and ideas ran a mile a minute, the half-masked man had decided he was hungry and went on a journey in search of food.
As he was just about to enter the kitchen a war cry erupted from Ryoko's mouth and she launched herself towards her prey.
A full-on frontal attack, complete with super size tackle and 100 guarantee of being squashed to the ground, was not what he was expecting. So out of reflex and surprise, he quickly placed his right hand within his pouch.
Slowly, he searched within the weapons pouch and found the ultimate weapon.
With a quick flick of his hand, and the right pose he held the weapon within both hands and in front of him-as if it was a shield.
"I'LL KILL YOU FOR THINKING ABOUT IRUKA-NII THAT WAY!"
This was it. It was now or never.
With a burst of speed, Ryoko sped towards him. Menacing and growling, hands positioned ready to punch him at the right moment. She was getting closer. And closer. And closer. And……NOW!
The weapon was thrust into her face.
Her eyes widened and she screamed bloody murder.
"NOOOOOOOO! MY EYES! ARRRGHHHHHH!"
Stopping with her fists just inches from his face and his stomach, she grabbed the weapon from his hands, and holding it with both hands, she smashed his face with it.
The weapons' flat, hard cover surface created a resounding SMACK! in the room and sent the man flying through the kitchen door. Another crash was heard and it was apparent that on his journey through the kitchen, it had ended with the cupboard door.
Justice was served.
Ryoko took a look at the weapon within her hands and dropped it ungracefully onto the ground.
She then proceeded to jump, step and damage it in any way possible.
After a 10 min "kill the weapon" session she opened the front door. Then she proceeded to aim and kick the book straight out the door and onto the street, shutting the front door soon after.
A male passerby felt something lumpy underneath his feet. Kneeling down, he checked what this inanimate object was, as he cursed whoever had put it there in the first place. It wasn't long before his eyes bulged from within their sockets and he praised the gods who were so gracious as to lead him across this fantastic finding. His mouth drooled as he read the title of the orange, hard-cover book.
It was the limited edition of "Icha Icha Paradise" vol. 4! Oh, how he had longed for this!
With a smile on his face, he nervously flicked through the contents of his finding.
Within minutes, the man had fainted and was admitted into the hospital for a large amount of blood loss.
"Ne, Ryoko-chan"
A black gloved hand slowly, weakly raised into the air. It twirled around several times in front of her face.
With an irritated sneer, she "humph"-ed and not-too-softly slapped the offending arm out of her view.
"It's your own fault I have to do this, you know. Plus, I don't want to get up, you're pretty comfy."
She flicked the back of his head, smiling triumphantly as an indignant squawk emitted from his mouth.
Kakashi sighed.
It wasn't fair, he had decided. Just because he had "accidentally" shown her one of the pictures from his beautiful, lovely "Icha Icha Paradise" book, she thought it was just that she plant her butt onto his wounded back while he was recovering from her fierce punch earlier. What was with kids nowadays anyway? No respect for elders what-so-ever! He slowly shook his head in disappointment. Next thing he knew, he was seeing spots and a sharp pain had entered his head.
"Don't move, it's annoying! The longer you don't move, the more chance I'll hop right off!"
She winked, not that he could see it, and laughed lightly.
More like an evil cackle, he thought.
Ryoko stopped laughing and grabbed a book from the coffee table nearby. With a smile, she slowly opened the cover and silently began to read.
Kakashi sighed, this was going to be a long day.
He frowned, he was getting hungry.
Sakura scowled as she continued to wipe the kitchen counter. Swiftly, she grabbed the bottle of cleaning liquid, flicked the top open and squirted some onto the dull, dirty surface. Slamming the top back on, she chucked the bottle onto the floor and started wiping the counter yet again.
"Sakura! How many times do I have to tell you! Don't CHUCK it on the floor!"
"Whatever, mum".
Her mother sighed and looked at her for a moment longer before walking out of the room.
RING! RING!
She lifted her head up from her work and reached to grab the phone.
"Hello? Sakura speaking".
"Hi! Sakura, do you want to go shopping with me!
Sakura smiled at the sound of her friend's voice.
"When?"
"When do you think! Now, stupid! I'll meet you at the mall, you know, where we always meet!"
A large grin spread across her features.
"Ino, you lifesaver! I'll meet you there in five minutes!"
"Alright. But hurry okay? I don't want to miss out on the sale items! Bye!"
She laughed out loud and hung up the phone.
Quickly, she took the cloth, she was using to wipe the counter, and threw it into the sink. Throwing the cupboard doors open, she carelessly placed the bottle of cleaning solution onto the bottom shelf then with a flick of her wrists, she closed the cupboard again. Grabbing her jacket from the couch, she scrambled around to find her wallet and keys.
"Mum! I've finished! I'm going out to the mall with Ino! I'll be back in around three hours!"
"Have fun, darling! Be sure to be back before dark!"
Sakura yelled goodbye to her mother and opened the front door, skipping outside. Taking her keys from her jacket pocket, she clicked the door shut and locked it.
Taking a deep breath, she ran off into the direction of the mall, a smile present on her face the whole time.
"GAH! What the HELL are you doing to KAKASHI-SAN!"
A face wearing the expression of extreme, utter boredom lifted from within the pages of an old ninja history textbook.
"Oh, he's back. Hey, wake up Kaka-chan".
She kicked the unmoving body underneath her roughly earning a moan from the person.
"What now?"
Kakashi slowly lifted read: tried his head up from its resting place and was met with the sight of his saviour.
"IRUKAAAAAAAA!"
Ryoko stared at Iruka then turned her head to glare down at Kakashi.
"Save me from this awful inhumane beast!"
Kakashi continued to wail, much to the amusement of Iruka and Ryoko.
After five minutes of non-top wailing, it started to get on Ryoko's nerves.
"Just SHUT UP! You little baby, you sound like a FRIKIN GIRL!"
With that said yelled she jumped up from her seat Kakashi's back and proceeded to kick, stomp on and punch any part of his body she could reach.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The scream reverberated off the walls and echoed through the house. The abuse continued.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
It was at that moment that Iruka had decided that enough was enough, and barged through the living room door. He stared at the image before him in rage. Ryoko was in the position of getting ready to kick her sensei in the you-know-what wink wink area whilst Kakashi was nursing his recently damaged forehead.
A nerve on Iruka's forehead twitched.
"You two……ARE ON CHORE DUTY!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Both sensei and student wailed in despair at their punishment.
"Buh-but, Iruka-chan Ryoko started it! I didn't do anything!"
He pulled on a puppy-dog look at smiled inwardly as Iruka looked at him in pity.
In the background, Ryoko had heard his announcement and glared at him in rage, if looks could kill he'd be dead a hundred times over.
"Awwww, that won't work on me mister! And because you tried to blame it on Ryoko-your own student for Christ's sake! You have to do extra cleaning!"
Kakashi switched from puppy-dog look to extreme despair.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"
With a quick and hard slap to the back of his head, Kakashi stopped his wailing and nursed his bruised head.
He looked upwards and found an angry, pissed-off Iruka surrounded by the aura of doom, holding a butcher's knife.
With the speed of light he ran to the opposite corner of the room and silently shook in terror and fear.
Silently, Ryoko's body shook in restrained laughter.
Iruka sighed and looked at the both of them.
"After dinner, BOTH of you will clean, dry and pack away the dishes. Ryoko will then clean the kitchen and Kakashi will have to vacuum the floor. And, Kakashi the glare of doom was aimed at said person's head, because of your statement earlier, you will also have to mop the floor".
Ryoko just nodded her head solemnly while Kakashi continued to shake in fear.
It was on the next day that Kakashi could be found leaning against the wall in the hallway fast asleep, holding a single, dirty cloth used for cleaning.
Iruka, as always, had woken up early to make breakfast and in the process of entering the kitchen had unceremoniously tripped over what he had thought was a large stack of clothes on the floor.
Upon closer inspection, he found that this stack of clothes was actually Kakashi and finding the position he was in so adorable that he ran silently upstairs and retrieved a camera. Iruka then proceeded to take a fair amount of pictures of the sleeping Kakashi from different angles.
After 5 minutes and 25 photos, an idea struck Iruka.
Taking a deep breath, he lifted his hand towards Kakashi's lower face. Trying to still his shaking hand, his fingers brushed the top of Kakashi's mask. Just as he was about to take hold of it, a hand came up and groggily smacked the hand away. A series of grumbles and mutters could be heard and Iruka stood still as stone thinking he was going to get caught. After a moment of silence, Iruka let out a sigh of relief and proceeded to stand up and take hold of his camera. With a last glance at the sleeping Kakashi he gently smiled and entered the kitchen.
It was a few minutes later that Kakashi woke up to the sound of chattering and the smell of delicious food.
He lifted his nose to the air and sniffed.
Bacon, eggs, pancakes and scones. His mouth drooled at the smell; he had never had such a delicious smelling breakfast before.
With a content sigh, he slowly lifted himself up from the floor and walked into the kitchen, dropping the dirty cloth in the sink on the way.
He seated himself in a seat at the table and looked at the delicious foods just waiting to be devoured.
Mmmmm….it all looks so yummy!
With a content smile; not that anyone could see it,
He started to heap a small stack of everything present onto his plate, ignoring the screeching yells from Ryoko and Iruka about how he should share and how he was such a pig, etcetera, and etcetera.
Such was the morning in the Umino household.
Hikari Motomeru sighed in exasperation as she heard the constant echo of yells erupting from next door.
It wasn't that she disliked Iruka or Ryoko for that matter, it was just that waking p to this much noise every morning was not good for her hearing or her temper.
Taking a pair of earmuffs from her bedside table, she placed them on her head so that the fluffy parts would cover her ears and smiled contently.
There was nothing but peace and quiet now. Ah, how she loved the silence.
With that she promptly fell back on her bed and was asleep within seconds.
It was at that moment that Kakashi was currently dodging a sploosh of some unidentified and inedible in his opinion food that was aimed at his beautiful silver-grey hair. With a war-cry, Ryoko tackled him from behind and immediately begun to smudge a whole lot of wasabi paste into his hair and all over the back of his neck. In seconds, he had Ryoko on the ground yet a large amount of wasabi had been mixed into his hair in such a short amount of time squirming as she tried to reach for the box of oatmeal nearby.
Stretching her arm as much as she could, she quickly and subtlety grabbed the box and threw the contents into her attacker's face. Kakashi swiped at the icky flying bits of oatmeal and reached forward to grab her but found she wasn't there. At that exact moment, he felt something trailing down his back. His eyes considerably widened as he realised what it was. Ryoko smirked triumphantly as she continued to pour the rest of the oatmeal and some porridge she found in the fridge down his back. Kakashi restrained himself from screaming out loud, grabbing the nearest thing which was coincidently his Icha Icha Paradise book that he had left on the counter while cleaning the night before he turned to face Ryoko (who was currently scrambling away in fear and threw it with all of his strength at her head. On instinct she had ducked and instead of hitting her head, it had gone straight through the window behind her and continued to sail through the air and smashed into the next door neighbor's window.
A scream erupted from the house next door.
Kakashi and Ryoko quickly pulled the curtains of the broken window together and then stumbled to the furthest corner away from said window and huddled together in fear.
It was then that Iruka had decided to come back from the bathroom he was showering and upon seeing the state of his beloved kitchen had screeched in unsuppressed anger and fury. He snapped his head to the side and saw the two culprits hiding in the corner.
A sick, sadistic smile spread across his face.
"Kakashi…..Ryoko…anything you would like to say?"
Turning to the voice they quickly backed away in fear of their punishment.
Iruka's eyes glinted and he held up a shiny silver knife.
Due to the events that occurred that morning, Team 7 was dismissed for the day due to undisclosed reasons. Kakashi and Ryoko were admitted into the hospital for a number of wounds and Team 10 was hired to clean up the Umino household's kitchen. Much to the dismay of team 10 when they saw its state.
Author's Notes
Hey guys! Finally updated! I recently checked the status of my fanfics and was I shocked! 2500 hits for this story! WOOHOO! This chapter was inspired by that amazing amount and I thank all who have been reading and putting up with me so far.
I'm actually quite happy how this turned out except for the fact that I didn't include any central character that Ryoko should have met. I need to know who you guys want as the character for next chapter!
Please review or criticise; whatever you want I don't mind.
Again, a BIG THANK YOU to my readers!
Bye! Nanashi Bakemono