"A Slash Parody"
Let's say it's midnight. The Order is out on dangerous and exciting missions. The only ones at Grimmauld Place are Sirius and Remus. They're just hanging around in the living room, drinking butterbeer, having a few laughs.
Sirius:You know what freaks me out?
Remus:What?
Sirius:Slash fiction!
Remus:Huh?
Sirius:You know! Those made-up stories where they pair two guys or two girls up.
Remus:Hmm. I see.
Sirius:You know, we've been paired up too!
Remus:Hahahahaa!(butterbeer flies everywhere)
Sirius:I'm serious!
Remus:Yes, I know your name.
Sirius:That's not funny!
Remus:Alright! But what are they like?
Sirius:Well...in most of those stories we're still in school. About 15 or 16 years old. We're both gay, but in denial. You're the quiet, but cute werewolf who is tormented by his secret and I'm the popular hot guy who all the girls adore.
Remus:Hmm. That's very interesting.
Sirius:Yes. We blush when we talk to each other. There's usually some kind of sexual tension thing going on.
Remus:Oh god!
Sirius:And then we finally kiss and admit we're gay.
Remus:Who writes this stuff?
Sirius:I don't want to know!
Remus:Where are they talking that stuff from? That hug in PoA? The way you were holding me when I transformed and tried to stop me?
Sirius:Oh, I remember that!
Remus:You know, that really didn't have a point. I was going to kick your butt anyway.
Sirius:Hmph! Well anyway...those slash fictions are so unrealistic!
Remus:Yes.
Sirius:I mean...can you imagine this happening?
Remus:You and me snogging?
Sirius: (imitating a school girl's voice)Oh, stop! You're making me blush!
Both:Bwahahahaa!
Sirius:It always happens when we're all alone. Just the two of us.
Remus:What a coincidence! We do have the entire house to ourselves!
Sirius:And maybe we're even a little drunk.
Remus:We did drink a few beers.
Sirius:And then I shake my hair to make it look as messy as possible. Like this(shakes his hair)
Remus:Hahaa!
Sirius:And then you have that sad, but cute look on your face.
Remus:Like this(does a sad, but cute face)
Sirius:Bingo! You have the scratches and everything!
Remus:Am I supposed to stroke your hair?
Sirius:Yeah! That would be a nice addition.
(Remus strokes Sirius' hair for a few seconds)
Both:Bwahahahaa!
Sirius:And then I'm supposed to unbutton your shirt like this.
(Unbuttons Remus' shirt)
Both:Hahahahaaa!
Remus:Oh, that's the funniest thing ever! Am I supposed to unbutton yours too?
Sirius:Yes.
(Remus unbuttons Sirius' shirt)
Sirius: (singing)Loosen up my buttons, baby...
Both:Hahahaaa!
Remus:Wait! Something is missing!
Sirius:Chocolate syrup?
Remus:No thanks! I'm not hungry.
Sirius:I meant for...
Remus:Aren't we supposed to kiss?
Sirius:Hey! You're right! I completely forgot! This is the most important part of slash fiction!
Remus:I don't think I can handle it. It's too funny!
Sirius:Hehee! Pull yourself together, Remus!(giggles like a little girl)
Remus:Okay...3
Sirius:2
Remus:1
Then the Order marches into the living room and sees the most interesting sight ever.
(a few minutes later)
Remus:Boy, that was a long one!
Sirius:Oh please! Kisses are supposed to last for at least 10 minutes in slash fiction.
Both:Bwahahahaaa!
Then they turn around and see the Order(including Moody, Snape, Tonks, Shacklebolt and Mundungus) staring at them.
Remus:Um...how long have you been watching?
Sirius: (giggles a bit more)
The End