AN: Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
Severus had to admit, half his companions were not dunderheads. Hermione was as intelligent and kind as she had been in his world. Harry was, well, Harry. One out of two of his new companions not being an idiot was a pleasant surprise.
Yet there was a third companion coming up, one which piqued Severus' curiosity. It was clear Oz and Hogwarts were cut from the same cloth. Which person would play the role of the Cowardly Lion?
Crookshanks leapt from Hermione's arms and strutted down the road, tail held high. He few times he swatted at the butterflies wafting by. Severus suppressed a smile. The cat had always amused him more than he cared to admit.
"Do you suppose we'll meet any wild animals?" Scarecrow Harry asked as they wandered through the dark woods.
"Undoubtedly," Severus answered, knowing a newcomer was due to appear at any moment.
"Animals that eat straw?" Harry asked.
"Technically Crookshanks plays with straw, so you've already met one animal which is a danger to you," Severus noted.
"Oh no," Hermione bent down to to pet the orange half kneazle. "Crookshanks wouldn't hurt anyone, would he?"
Crookshanks gave her the most innocent look he could. Severus rolled his eyes. Suck up.
"I think the animals who come through here are mostly lions and tigers and bears," Tin Woman Hermione continued.
"Lions," Severus noted.
"Tigers?" Harry asked in a much more alarmed voice.
"And bears," Hermione's voice had a shake to it.
Both Tin Woman Hermione and Scarecrow Harry looked at Severus. "What? I have nothing to say on the matter."
"But there are animals around," Hermione replied. "Don't you have anything to say about that?"
"There are animals, and they are predators. What else is there to say?"
"Doesn't that fact scare you at all?" Harry asked.
He sighed, knowing the line. "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my."
"Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!" Hermione and Harry repeated. "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!"
Severus bit back a groan. This was almost as obnoxious as breaking into song. Perhaps it was time to implement a rule baring chanting and repeating cheesy movie lines.
Harry and Hermione sped up the pace as they continued saying their insipid chorus. Severus moved ahead of them. The sooner they were out of this woods the better it would be for his sanity.
Before Severus could think too deeply on the matter, a roar came from the trees. A lion leapt out, baring his teeth. Hermione and Harry stumbled backwards, while Severus looked on with a bored expression.
At the end of the day, Neville was still Neville.
Lion Neville roared again and leapt at the group. Crookshanks meowed and scratched Lion Neville's nose. He jumped back and held it in his paws. "Ouch, ouch."
"Hello Neville," Severus deadpanned.
"Ow, you know my name?" He looked up.
"Yes."
"How?"
"Lucky guess," Severus and Harry said in unison.
"Wow," Neville replied in awe before looking at his nose. A tear came to his eyes. "Ow, oh ouch that hurt."
"There's no need to be a baby about this. It's just a small scratch," Severus snapped.
"It hurts," Neville whined.
"You will be fine, I promise."
"You, you don't seem afraid of me."
"Is there a reason I should be?"
"I jumped out at you."
"So?" Severus rolled his eyes.
"So you weren't scared at all?" He asked.
"How could I be scared when your roaring was so pathetic and you couldn't even frighten a cat?"
Crookshanks raised his tail high and gave him the kind of smug look only a cat could give.
"None of you was scared?" Neville glanced up.
"Uh," Scarecrow Harry looked at Tin Woman Hermione.
"We were terrified," she began.
"Yes, absolutely scared out of our minds," Harry replied.
"I was borderline startled," Severus deadpanned.
"Oh I knew it," Neville slumped onto the ground. "I'm not terrifying at all."
"That isn't true," Hermione argued.
"Yes it is," Severus replied.
She poked him in the ribs with her elbow. He bit his tongue to keep from yelping. It hurt more when she was made of tin than when she was flesh and blood.
"Oh I'm just a coward," Neville moaned. "A cowardly lion."
"Indeed," Severus replied, bemoaning the fact that this was to be his new traveling companion.
"It's so difficult, because I'm the King of the Beasts, but even a little pussy cat scares me," he pointed to Crookshanks.
The orange tabby hissed, causing Lion Neville to jump back. Severus choked back his laugher.
"Hey, I know," Harry began.
Severus went cold. No, Harry couldn't be doing what he thought he was doing.
"You should come see the wizard with us," Harry continued.
"Yes," Hermione added. "He's going to give me a heart, Harry a brain, and he's going to send Severus home."
Neville glanced at Severus.
"It's a long story, but Crookshanks, my cat, and I find ourselves in a foreign land," Severus explained. "We are desperately attempting to leave with our sanity intact."
"Do you think he could give me courage?" Neville asked.
"Sure," Harry answered. "The wizard can do anything."
"Wait, who said the wizard can do anything?" Severus demanded.
"Can't he?" Harry asked.
"In theory yes, but something seems off about all this, like there's going to be," Severus' voice grew softer, "strings attached."
"What strings?" Hermione asked.
"I fear finding out."
"I am too," Neville cried. "I should just go home now."
"No, please don't," Hermione replied. "Even if there are strings attached, it's worth trying to see what the wizard can do, if only so you can say you've tried everything to be courageous."
Neville looked at Severus.
"You may as well. Dorothy had three companions, so I suppose I must too," Severus grumbled.
"Who's Dorothy?" Neville asked.
"Someone from a movie I saw," Severus answered.
"Judging from your expression you didn't care much for the movie" Hermione noted.
"I despised the movie. It was sweet, saccharine, and I never understood the moral," Severus answered.
"What was it?"
"Something about the power of friendship and being happy to be home."
"I believe in the power of friendship," Neville perked up.
"Yes, with friendship we can do anything," Hermione said.
"Even give me my nerve."
Severus scowled. The music was starting again.
"Yes it's sad believe me gitty," Neville began.
"Why does everyone insist on calling me a git?" Severus retorted. "Are there no other creative names one could use to describe me?"
"When you are scared of a kitty. Without the vim and verve."
"If you don't stop singing I will force Crookshanks to scratch your nose again!"
Neville stopped before cowering. Crookshanks began bathing himself, ignoring the chaos around him.
"Is there a reason you are being such an arse?" Hermione demanded.
Severus blinked. He didn't hear anyone cuss like that in the movie.
"For the life of me I cannot understand you," she continued. "One minute you are sweet, gentle, and helpful. You even took time to save me from rusting. Then, you're snapping and snarling at everyone. It's like you're two different people."
"I am who I am," he argued.
"Try to be a better version of yourself," she argued. "I may not have a heart, but even I know you are out of line in how you treat others."
"Are you sure you don't have a heart?" Severus asked.
"Yes," she argued as she touched her torso. "I've pounded on my tin chest several times. It's empty. I don't have a heart."
"Wow, she has a lot of courage talking to him like that," Neville began.
"Stick with us and you'll learn to have courage too," Scarecrow Harry replied.
"Either that, or the wizard will give it to you," Tin Woman Hermione answered.
"Indeed," Harry said.
"Well," Neville smiled. "I guess we're off to the see the wizard."
"The wonderful wizard of Oz!" Hermione and Harry exclaimed behind him.
Severus shook his head and led them along the yellow brick road.
He knew he should've just left Crookshanks in that corn field before he could pick up these dunderheads.
In a darkened castle, Wicked Witch of the West Molly stood above a crystal ball. Her face was a reddish green as she watched Severus wander down the yellow brick road. Those silver boots were still on his person, and not in her possession.
How had he managed to get this far anyway? Nobody had ever made it down the yellow brick road alone. What made him special?
She then noted a scarecrow beside him. Strange choice of companion given how fragile they could be. One ball of flame and he'd be out of the way. Beside the scarecrow was a lion. Why was the lion not eating them? Either he had a great sense of self-control, or he was too cowardly to attack.
Then another person came into view. Molly gasped in recognition.
"No," Molly whispered. "It can't be."
She cast a spell so the image in the ball would become clearer. Her eyes did not deceive her. That fourth companion was Hermione, the tin woodswoman.
"I thought I took care of you!" Molly slammed her fists into the table, nearly knocking over the ball. "I thought you were as good as dead!"
Molly snarled before yelling, "Ronald! Get over here!"
A flying monkey with red hair approached her. "Yes?"
"Your little tin ex-girlfriend is causing problems for me again!"
"How? I thought you killed her," he replied.
"I did, but somehow that pesky Severus revived her!" She yelled. "First he steals my shoes, which I may add look terrible on him, and then he undoes my brilliant punishment for that glorified tin can. Well, no more! He's not going to interfere with me anymore!"
Ron gulped, afraid of what was to come next.
"I want you to chase those four away from the yellow brick road into the grove of apple trees. Cedrealla and Bilius will take things from there."
"What if Cedrealla and Bilius can't get to them?"
"Just do as I say!" Molly shrieked. "We are going to take care of this boot problem and this tin woman issue once and for all! Severus and Hermione will both pay, even if it's the last thing I do!"
Ron flew through an open window, knowing full well what would happen if he continued arguing with the witch. Molly cackled as he left.
All four of those nincompoops were going to wish they'd never heard the name Molly, Wicked Witch of the West!