AN: Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
The tension was suffocating as Draco led them to the wizard's throne room. Before he could open the door, Severus stopped.
"Wait."
Everyone turned to Severus.
"I need to warn everyone of something before we enter," Severus began.
"What?" Hermione asked.
"In the movie, the wizard wants something from us before he grants our wishes," Severus began.
"What?" Scarecrow Harry asked.
"I forgot which item he requests, but if I remember correctly, it involves the Wicked Witch of the West."
"The Wicked Witch of the West?" Neville shuddered.
"Yes, he wants us to confront her and retrieve an item from her."
"Oh no, we can't go up against her."
"True, I doubt she would exchange this item for a bag of Oz's freshest apples," Severus admitted. "So we'll need a plan to get it."
"What item is it?" Neville asked.
"That," Severus tapped his foot. "I forgot."
"I don't think the wizard will ask for anything," Hermione interjected.
"Excuse me?" Severus raised an eyebrow.
"I don't think he's heartless enough to make us go up against Molly, not after all she's done to us. If he has any compassion and if he's powerful at all, he'll give us what we want and confront Molly himself."
"With all due respect, every deal comes with a catch. We have to be prepared for what the wizard wants."
"That sounds absolutely cynical."
"How is being prepared cynical?"
"Being prepared isn't cynical, but believing everything has a catch is. People aren't always duplicitous."
"I vehemently disagree. There's always a catch, at least in my experience."
"Then perhaps I have difference experiences."
"That is fortunate for you, but I am trying to be realistic. The wizard will want something, and it will cost us dearly. That is reality, not cynicism."
"No," Hermione shook her head. "I refuse to become so cynical that I believe everyone wants to scam me."
"Believe what you want, but I am telling you the truth," Severus argued. "In the movie, we have to go up against the Wicked Witch of the West in order for the wizard to grant our wishes."
"If that's the case, we can take her."
All eyes fell on Neville.
"If the wizard is as kind as Hermione says he is, then we'll get what we want with no trouble," Neville continued. "If he is as manipulative as Severus says he is, then we'll be ready for Molly."
"How?" Severus asked.
"I don't know, but amongst us we'll think of something, especially if you already know everything because of the movie."
"I agree," Harry replied. "We can take on Molly."
"Yes," Hermione answered. "We can take her on, but I don't think we'll need to."
"I would hope you are correct," Severus answered. "For all of our sakes."
"Not everything is a movie," Hermione took his hand. "Sometimes, people are kind. They do have hearts, unlike me."
"You have a heart," Severus argued. "Others don't."
"I told you, my chest is made of hollow tin. Knock on it for yourself."
With some reluctance, Severus did so. As expected, it echoed. He ached for her. For years he'd wanted to tear his heart from his body, to never feel another caring sentiment for another being. Now, he wished he could give his heart to her.
"You should go in before the wizard changes his mind about seeing you," Draco chimed in as he opened the door.
"Of course," Severus stepped through the door, followed by his companions.
At first, the room was black, save the emerald carpet. Then, a fire whooshed in front of them, before taking the form of a flaming peacock. The bird boomed in a deep voice, "State your purpose!"
"Oh!" Neville shook as he turned to the others.
Crookshanks stepped in front of Severus. The man in black picked up the half-kneazle, wondering if this was for Crookshank's comfort, or his own.
"Why are you here?" The peacock boomed before erupting in two balls of flames. They fluttered around, as if examining the group of friends.
Severus stood up straighter. There was no need to cower in fear. A wizard was a wizard. This man couldn't be as terrifying as Voldemort, or as manipulative as Dumbledore. No, he could handle this wizard.
"I came here to request that I return to my home," Severus demanded.
"Home?" The flames became a peacock once more. "What happened? Did you get lost on the way to Albuquerque?"
"No."
"Do you know where home is?
"Yes."
"Then get a map. There are a few lovely ones at the Emerald City Welcome Center. That would help you more than I ever could."
"A map will be of no use to me," Severus argued.
"Oh you're one of those men who doesn't ask for directions," the peacock smirked. "Don't worry, you have a woman with you. She can do all the asking for you."
"Asking for directions will do me no good."
"Spoken like a true man."
"Look I was taken here by a tornado," Severus argued. "I live in a place called Hogwarts, which is beyond this land of Oz. I need to go home."
"Hogwarts?" The peacock put a wing on it's cheek. "What an odd name, ugly too. Who wants to see a wart on a hog?"
"I had nothing to do with the naming, I assure you."
"I suppose I can't hold such an atrocious name against you then," The peacock turned its attention to Harry. "What do you want?"
"I, I need a brain."
"You and half of Emerald City."
"They're all scarecrows too?" Harry asked with a gleam in his eyes.
"No, they're just people too stupid to know they need a brain."
Severus suppressed a grin. Perhaps this wizard wasn't as terrible as the ones he'd met outside of Oz.
"You," he turned to Hermione. "What do you want?"
"A heart," she answered in a strong voice.
"What happened? Did you give yours away to an underserving man?"
Her expression said it all.
"Might I suggest a single's night at a popular bar? There are a few lovely ones in Emerald City with some great speed dating nights. It would work just as well as anything I could give you."
"But that feels as empty as my chest."
"Only if you allow it to be."
"I can't date without a heart," she argued. "I need a heart."
"You don't need a heart to date. You can enjoy yourself without it. Some would argue it's more enjoyable to have fun and not get hurt."
"Listen wizard, she wants a heart, not a casual hookup," Severus snapped. "Stop snarking and give her one."
"Aw, she's one of those romantic types," The peacock shook its head. "What a pity. She'd have an easier time of life if she wasn't."
"Don't criticize her," Severus retorted. "She's far more empathetic than you'll ever be."
"Hey, I'm a wizard, not an empath. Don't be upset with me for being who I am."
"Are you going to give her a heart or not?" Severus asked.
"First I want to know what your friend here needs," the peacock turned to Neville. "What do you ask of Oz?"
"I, I need courage." Neville gulped as he held his tail.
"I suppose you would, given that cuteness only goes so far with most lions. It's hard to defend a kingdom by meowing."
Neville nodded as Crookshanks hissed at the peacock.
"I take it nothing I say is going to convince you that you don't need what you ask for," the wizard continued.
"No," Severus answered. "I need to get out of this madhouse as soon as possible."
"And I need a brain to figure things out."
"And I need a heart to love again."
"And I need courage so I don't run screaming out of here!"
The peacock turned to Crookshanks. "What does he need?"
"If I had to guess, a fresh can of tuna," Severus glanced down at him.
Crookshanks purred at the thought.
"Fine, I can give you all those things under one condition," the peacock began.
"Oh no, Severus was right!" Neville shouted.
"Right about what?" The peacock tilted its head.
"He said you needed something in exchange for what we want."
"So let me get this straight; Severus is too dumb to use a map to find his way home, but smart enough to know I need something in exchange for my services?"
"It would appear so," Severus muttered.
"Huh, well at least you're an entertaining bunch, I'll give you that," the peacock smirked. "Fine, in exchange for what you ask, I want the Wicked Witch of the West's broom."
"B-broom?" Hermione asked.
"Yes," the wizard answered. "I want that broom. It will look very nice above my fireplace. That, and one of my servants spilled some flour when he was baking cookies. I'd like it cleaned up as soon as possible."
"Can't you clean it up yourself?" Severus asked. "A little magic should do the trick."
"Why would I waste my magic on house cleaning?"
"Why can't you buy your own broom?" Severus demanded.
"Have you seen the prices of brooms lately? Inflation is out of control in some industries."
"What's inflation?" Harry asked.
"It means either I get the broom, or nobody gets anything they want," the peacock answered.
"But, but it's Molly," Neville stuttered. "We'd have to get near her to get her broom."
"That's your problem, not mine."
"If you're so powerful why can't you get the broom yourself?" Hermione demanded.
"Have you seen my schedule? I'm booked solid for the next four months. That, and a good leader delegates tasks. It spreads the fun around."
"Of course you fancy yourself a good leader," Severus muttered.
"Now, find that broom or I won't give anyone anything."
Everyone stayed rooted in their places.
"Now!" The peacock erupted into flames.
The friends didn't need to be told twice to leave.